I, Evlampia Romanova, do not have a life, but a theater of the absurd! A grandmother with a lizard settled in our apartment. The dandelion of God is rollerblading at seventy, and the lizard is sleeping in my bed. Try to conduct a murder case under such conditions, but not about one ... First, the husband of my friend Nadia, Bogdan, was burnt in a jeep. Then someone drove Nadia to suicide with calls from “the other world” and parcels with her husband’s burnt things. My dead friends were doctors. And soon I found out that Bogdan, before his death, sold the medical clinic to his deputy Yegor Pravdin ... But then a misfortune happened to Yegor - he fell out of the balcony. Do you believe in chance ?! I also! At the funeral, I found out that my friends were involved in organ transplants for money. Surely they were all killed by some patient who had something wrong with them ...

On our site you can download the book "Walking under the Fly" Dontsova Daria Arkadyevna free of charge and without registration in fb2, rtf, epub, pdf, txt format, read the book online or buy a book in the online store.

For a friend - into fire and water! Dasha Vasilyeva rushes headlong to look for the impudent woman who dares to offend her friend, Colonel Degtyarev. The bachelor Alexander Mikhailovich, according to his aunt, is married and left his wife, who cherished and cherished him. Dasha is outraged. Should she not know that Degtyarev is free and pure as a tear. An innocent search for the colonel's namesake turns into a criminal investigation, to which, as you know, Dashutka is a great hunter. In the process, she learns that the other Degtyarev ...

Smile .45
Dontsova Daria

Dasha Vasilieva has been invited to a party with Professor Yuri Rykov. Imagine her indignation when the next morning the Rykovs accused her of stealing the Faberge golden egg, which was supposedly their family heirloom. The boulevard newspaper "Ulet" published an article where Dasha was also called a thief. To protect her reputation and help return the egg to its rightful owner, Amalia Korf, private detective Dasha Vasilyeva begins her own investigation. And then one by one on ...

The figure of light shocking
Dontsova Daria

You want to do what is best, but it turns out ... Awful story! I, a private detective Evlampiya Romanova, agreed to help the client play the role of Professor Antonov's niece and fell into a terrible situation. I was accused of murder! The lady-customer is, of course, cunning, but the Lamp is not sewn with bast either. I'll find out for free where the legs grow from in this case ... But here, completely inappropriately, all the devices in my house went out! Now you can't cook food, watch TV, or boil tea ... But in ...

To deal with your cop
Polyakova Tatiana

Life sometimes throws up stories better than any detective. So the writer Anfisa Glinskaya, along with her faithful friend Zhenya, was again drawn into a tangled and bloody story. The six-year-old daughter of their acquaintances, Lelka, was kidnapped. Anfisa's husband, spetsnaz colonel Roman, is trying to help the unlucky detectives, especially since the investigation is becoming too dangerous. Someone ruthlessly cracks down on the kidnappers. And it seems that a thin thread leading to the little girl is about to break. But it's not for nothing that Anf ...

Hobby of the ugly duckling
Dontsova Daria

The fatal bad luck in the family of Dasha Vasilyeva began after the weekend, which they all spent at the stud farm of their acquaintances Vereshchagins. There was another respectable couple - Lena and Misha Kayurov, owners of two horses. True, six months ago, when Dasha met the Kayurovs, they were just beggars. And Lena, who then threw a rag doll out of the window onto Dasha's car, was absolutely insane. Now she seemed completely healthy ... Then Daria overheard the quarrel of the Kayurovs, and later Lena was found m ...

A fish named Bunny
Dontsova Daria

Guard! Ivan Podushkin in time trouble! Not only that, his mistress and the owner of the detective agency "Niro" drove off to Switzerland to learn to walk again after the operation. She also instructed her secretary to renovate the entire apartment for her return. And now unfortunate Vanya, like a miserable bobby, rushes through the shops in the heat in search of super-toilet bowls, musical washbasins and baths. Naturally, for the duration of the renovation, he had to move to live with his mama, which in itself is not sugar, and then ...

Aunt Lies House
Dontsova Daria

Life is truly full of miracles! Especially with a lover of private detective Dasha Vasilyeva. Grieving about the sudden death of Paulie, the daughter of her friend, Dasha came to the morgue to pick up the body. And there she was told that the girl ... came to life. It turns out she was just comatose. And laughter and tears! Now an unclaimed coffin has appeared in Dasha's country house, in which ... a pit bull sleeps. And then a terrible thing happened - Polya nevertheless died, having lost control of someone else's car. And Dasha immediately begins to search ...

Return of the prodigal boomerang
Kalinina Daria

Arriving in a small village to visit their friend Anka, Kira and Les were most afraid of boredom. But in vain! This is where they had to show their detective skills to the fullest. On the second day after arrival, someone stabbed Niko, Anya's husband's uncle, with a knife. The couple lived in perfect harmony for five years. And the uncle still did not recognize his daughter-in-law. The old man's character was absurd, but they don't kill for it. Then, one after another, three more murders occurred. Add to that convoluted love affairs with a criminal tinge, searches ...

Benefit of the March cat
Dontsova Daria

Dasha Vasilyeva is catastrophically lucky with corpses! .. Only she agreed to go to a classical music concert with an imposing man Stas Komolov - and now he is already a corpse. During the intermission, Dasha ran for him for water and drops, I thought he was feeling bad from the stuffiness, but he take it and die. And the next day, the cops showed up at her house. They clearly suspect Dasha of murder. What to do? Of course, run! And now she is already at the Kursk railway station with a bag in one hand and the pug Hooch in the other. Behind the lover's back ...

Miracles in a saucepan
Dontsova Daria

I, Viola Tarakanova, cannot live without crime. Moreover, they find me themselves. This time it all started when Asya Babkina had a terrible grief during my visit - her daughter Lyalya died. She fell asleep and did not wake up. Then various events distracted me from someone else's misfortune, I flooded my neighbors, the publishing house accepted my first detective story for publication. I was thrilled with happiness. And suddenly there was a call from the hospital, Asya demanded me, who got there with a heart attack. From her I learned the incredible buried with ...

Darya Dontsova

Flying under the fly

Life is terribly unfair. One gets beauty, happiness, luck, the other does not get anything. But then the goddess of fate catches herself and at once takes everything from the first.

We have always envied Nadyushka Kiseleva, and there was something. She is so good that even stray dogs stopped to look after her. Even in school years, everyone understood that Nadka would jump out to marry at the age of eighteen, then divorce, and then begin to endlessly change partners in life, looking for a worthy one. But Nadya entered medical school and, despite the fact that gentlemen were always swarming around her, she did not rush about partying. Having become a pediatrician, Nadia ended up in a polyclinic, where women worked mainly. In short, when she was twenty-seven, the people began to consider Kiseleva an old maid.

“I got out,” Anyuta Shakhova stated bitterly, “that's it, now skiff, give the peasants young ones.”

But Nadia surprised everyone. I went to rest in the Crimea and returned with a gentleman. Yes with what! Handsome, clever and also a doctor.

- Wait, girls, - Anyuta Shakhova was angry, - resort romances, they are. Trust me, old, shot fox, this Bogdan probably has a couple of ex-wives, about six children and a mother with hypertension.

But Nadyushka, as always, was lucky. Bogdan turned out to be an orphan, he had no wives or children in the anamnesis, and he just sore along Kiseleva. They played a wedding, Anyuta Shakhova was a witness. I carried the bridal bouquet, then we walked the whole night in the Prague restaurant.

- For a long time Nadya was looking for a beaver, - Anyuta whispered to me, - we, fools, all played in love, so what? We are now sitting up to their ears in shit, with children, without alimony. And Nadyukha is cunning. In her youth she walked up, now she climbed into the yoke. Hey you Lamp, why are you silent?

I shrugged. What to answer? I have known Nadyusha since childhood. We lived with her on the same staircase, but for some reason we did not become best friends. Maybe because they were totally busy? I went to music school, and Nadia - to the sports section. She was very beautiful in childhood, but, unlike lovely women who rely only on appearance, Kiseleva had an iron will and determination. In her youth, she did not walk, but studied. Probably, God rewarded her with such a husband as Bogdan for good behavior. One problem is that their children did not work out well. Nadia was very worried, and Bogdan told everyone:

- Why do we need kids? I have Nadia.

“Happiness happens to people,” Shakhova said once, “no diapers, no shoes, no screams ... That's really lucky, so lucky.

And she blurted it out right in Nadia's face at some family celebration, where she was invited as best friend... Nadezhda did not answer, but I was indignant:

- Think what you say!

Anyuta snorted and went to smoke on the balcony.

- It's useless for her to make comments, - smiled Nadya, - don't spoil your nerves.

- How can you be friends with such? She hates you.

- Well, this is a strong saying, just a little envy Anyuta those whose life is more successful than hers, - Nadyusha answered calmly, - I feel sorry for Nyusha.

All Nadia is in this statement. As for luck, it went to Kiseleva in a continuous stream. At first, she and her husband wrote Ph.D. theses, and in 1996 they opened a private hospital. Despite the immense competition in the world of medical services, their affairs turned to the envy of many. Nadya and Bogdan got dressed, bought expensive foreign cars, started going to Spain three times a year, and it was obvious that they would never spend all the money they earned. It seemed that Nadia did not have life, but Shrovetide. But nine days ago it all ended at once.

Bogdan, together with his deputy Yegor Pravdin, went out of town on business, the details of what happened next are unknown to me. I only know that on the way, almost at the entrance to Moscow, for some reason a car, a jeep, a good, expensive, practically new car caught fire. It belonged to Bogdan, and the owner himself was at the wheel. Yegor managed to jump out, but the driver did not. The body of Bogdan, burnt to a fire, was taken out by the Emergencies Ministry. We buried him at the Mitinskoye cemetery, or rather, burned what was left in the crematorium.

Nadia behaved amazingly. Anyuta Shakhova fainted, struggled in sobs, demonstratively drank Valocordin and tore her hair. The widow, outwardly calm enough, stood near the coffin. No tears ran down her cheeks, and she did not lean on anyone's hands. She just silently looked at the closed coffin. But I saw that her cheek was trembling, and I realized that Nadya was barely holding back. Just a good upbringing did not allow her to be hysterical.

Then there was a commemoration, for which an insane number of people gathered. The hired waiters knocked off their feet carrying pancake dishes. At first, as is customary, they drank to the memory of the soul, they said a lot good words widow, swore eternal love and friendship. Then, picking up, they started talking about their own, laughter rushed ... The only thing missing was the orchestra and dances.

But, as usual, those who promised eternal devotion in the morning forgot about the widow and today, for nine days, only eleven people gathered.

I don't like going to commemoration, to be honest, I just don't know how to behave at them. You can't have fun, it's stupid to sit with a mournful face, so at the first opportunity I ran to the kitchen and tried to help with the housework. But the housekeeper and the maid very politely pushed me out into the hall and had to return to the living room. I had almost reached the room when the bell rang. The maid Sonya leaned out of the kitchen and, showing her wet hands, asked:

- Evlampia Andreevna, do not consider it a work, open it, otherwise I am my dishes.

I rattled the lock. A strange guy appeared on the threshold, about seventeen years old, poorly dressed, or rather poorly.

- Telegram, - he barked, - Nadezhda Kiseleva, is that you?

Thinking that someone I knew had sent condolences, I muttered:

- Let's.

- Are you Kiseleva? - the young man did not give up.

- You can give it to me.

- No, - the courier held out, - you need to sign.

- Where is the receipt?

“Figushki,” the postal worker said in a childish way, “call Kiseleva.

Seeing such zeal, I called Nadia. She received a small piece of paper, unfolded it and, very pale, sank into a chair.

- What? - I was frightened. - Mum?

Sofya Mikhailovna has been living in Israel for ten years already, Nadia visits her several times a year. The friend shook her head.

- What then?

Still unable to utter a word, Nadia handed me a telegram. “Sorry, I have to stay, I’ll come on March 10. Bogdan ".

- What is it? - I asked dumbfounded.

Nadia pulled out her cigarettes and flicked the lighter with a trembling hand.

- Silly joke, someone decided to joke like that.

- No, - I tried to calm her down, - they just messed up at the post office, delivered to the wrong address.

Nadia sighed:

“No, honey, it was meant for me. Borovskiy proezd, house 9, apt. 17, Kiseleva.

- But why joke so idiotically?

- There are many fools, - muttered Nadya, - and I also have enough envious people. Okay, let's hide this stuff.

She stuffed the telegram into the pocket of the red leather jackethanging on a hanger.

- Don't tell anyone, okay?

I nodded and we returned to the living room. The evening flowed smoothly, coffee was served. The people split into small groups and talked peacefully. I, not joining anyone, just sat on the couch, near the phone. The sharp call made me flinch, my hands automatically grabbed the receiver.

A squeak and crack rang out of the tube, I was about to disconnect, when a distant, poorly discernible voice burst out of this cacophony:

- Nadia?

It is not clear why I answered:

From the other end of the line, someone, either a shrill man or a hoarse woman, said:

- Who is it? - I babbled, feeling that the hair on the back of my head was beginning to move slowly. - Who?

- I, my love, I, or did you not recognize?

- Bogdan, - answered the invisible interlocutor and disconnected. With a shaking hand, I hung up the receiver and stared into the transparent window on the phone, where the numbers 764-89-35 were burning. Not knowing what to do, I rummaged around the room and came across Yegor Pravdin, a doctor from Bogdan's clinic.

- Yegorushka, can I have you for a minute?

“I'm running as fast as I can,” Egor smiled and flopped down on the sofa.

His one hundred and twenty kilograms instantly fell into the pillows, my forty-eight rolled towards them. Clinging to the armrest, I asked:

- Do you remember Bogdan's mobile number?

- Of course, how many times I called.

- Can you name?

- Please, - the interlocutor was not surprised, - 764-89-35.

I almost fell onto the plush carpet that covered the living room.

- 764-89-35, - repeated Yegor, - what surprised you so much? Number as number.

- Do you happen to know where your mobile is?

- Whose, Bogdana?

I nodded. Egor rubbed the back of his head with a shovel-like hand.

- Stupidity, of course, but Nadya asked, I decided not to argue with her ... They put it in the coffin, along with a watch, cigarettes, glasses and a lighter. Naturally, I understand the idiocy of this act, but Nadezhda ordered, so I did not want to injure her, in the end, this is not such a great value.

I stared blankly at the bottle of brandy on the table.

- Pour? - Pravdin misinterpreted my opinion.

- I think, yes.

Yegor splashed brown liquid into the glass, I swallowed and felt a hot stream rush into my stomach.

Ten minutes later, having calmed down, I picked up the phone and went into the bathroom. She latched the door shut, sat down on the bidet and dialed 764-89-35.

- The subscriber is disconnected or temporarily unavailable, - answered a pleasant female voice.

I stared at the receiver. What did you want? What did you expect from this call? Thought to hear Bogdan's voice? I wonder what kind of idiot is joking like that? It's good that Nadia didn't grab the phone, and it won't take long to earn a heart attack ...

In the evening, at home, I lay down on the sofa and took the newspaper. In the next room, Liza and Kiryushka were violently sorting out the relationship.

- You got more, - the girl whined.

- No, equally, - Kiryushka responded.

- How, look, on your plate six, and I have five.

“I'm a man,” Kiryushka said.

“Ha,” Lisa shouted.

There were juicy slaps, then a crash, a squeal ... I put down the "Interlocutor" and looked into the living room. Military operations were in full swing there.

- Hey, hey, stop it now, what's the fight about?

“Here,” Lizaveta yelled, “look. The patient gave Katya a box of Mozart sweets, which are terribly expensive. She told us to eat them.

- So directly and ordered! I grinned.

- Well, she suggested, - Liza lowered her tone, - and there are eleven pieces in the package! How to proceed? By the way, Kiryushenka, if I were sharing a chocolate bar, then naturally I would have taken five, not six bombs.

- So why be angry? The boy laughed. - You got five, everything you wanted!

“A decent, well-bred person will take less for himself,” Liza said.

- So give me an example, - answered Kiryushka.

“Cyril,” I said sternly, “a man must yield to a woman.

- Figs to you, - the teenager responded instantly, - by the way, Lizka is almost a year older than me, which means that she is an adult, and I am a child. Let her be inferior to me!

Those who have children of the same age at home who have moved into puberty will understand me well. Taking sides is dangerous to health, so I offered a compromise option.

- Give me one candy, you will have ten, very convenient.

“But I had no intention of treating you at all,” Kiryushka said.

“We'd better divide the extra candy in half,” added Lisa.

- Figurines!

- Greedy!

- Zhirtrestin.

Listening to them swearing, I wandered into my room. Yes, I’m not a teacher, and children know this fact very well.

There are a lot of people in our family. My best friend Katya, her sons, Seryozha and Kiryushka, the wife of Sergei Yulechka, then me, Evlampia Romanova and Lizaveta Razumova. How we all ended up in one, though a huge apartment, is another story. I will not retell it here. A large number of animals also live with us: the pugs Mulya and Ada, the Staffordshire Terrier Rachel, the "nobleman" Ramik, the cats Klaus, Semiramis and Pingwa. The strange nickname of the latter can be easily explained. Lizaveta and I bought this kitten at the Bird. The animal was white and black, and Lisa happily named the pussy Penguin. After a while it turned out that this was not a cat, but a cat, so I had to call her Pingua. In addition, we have Gertrude the toad and some hamsters.

Deciding not to pay attention to the screams that were running around the ceiling of the apartment, I opened the "Interlocutor" again and tried to get carried away with reading. It wasn't like that. "Dzin-dzin" - the door lock came to life. Well, Julia came running, now she will shout:

Slippers spanked along the corridor, a high voice was heard:

- Disgrace, again there is no bread!

I buried my face in the newspaper. "Dzin". This is Seryozhka, who will most likely start to resent seeing dumplings on the table.

- I can fry “Heroes”, - Liza answered cheerfully.

- Oh, thank you! I want home.

- Wanting is not harmful, - said Kiryushka and rushed back to the front door. As far as I understand, Katya came. But there was silence in the hallway, then Kiryushka stuck his head into the bedroom.

- Hey, Lamp, look out.

Vanya Komolov was standing by the hanger.

- Lamp, save!

- What happened?

- Airplane in three hours!

- Are you flying away? I asked affectionately. - Where?

- To Germany, with an orchestra, - said Vanka, clutching a case with a violin to his chest.

- Happy journey, - I politely wished, not understanding what was the matter.

- Lamp, - Vanka rattled, - let's go. I agreed with the Korolevs, but today Petka broke his leg, where can I leave them now?

I sighed. Clear. Vanyushka needs to attach a dog or a cat for the duration of the tour, however, there are probably two pets ... All our friends drag their pets to us to overexpose.

- Okay, bring me who you have?

- Lucy and Kapa, \u200b\u200b- said Komolov, - I'll bring you right, they're sitting in the car. Well, thank you, I made you feel good, otherwise you can even get into the loop!

He rushed down. I sat down on a chair in the hallway. Most likely cats, Lucy and Kapa, \u200b\u200bquiet, cute creatures, will cram into the sofa and bainki. All business is something - to feed them in the morning and evening. The door flew open. Vanka, panting, dragged in the suitcase.

- Here, Capa!

- Where? - I was amazed. - In the wardrobe trunk?

- Well, you give it, - Vanka laughed, stepped aside and ordered: - Come in, come in, do not be shy.

A girl, very thin, with a brightly highlighted head and in tight jeans, moved into the hallway.

“It’s very nice,” I said in confusion, shook the hand extended to me, which was unexpectedly wrinkled for a young girl, looked attentively into Capa's face and almost died.

The face of a seventy-year-old lady peeped out from under the multi-colored curls.

- Who is Lucy? I blurted out. - A retired colonel?

Vanka looked at me reproachfully:

- You have an awesome sense of humor! Lucy here!

With a swift movement, Komolov pulled on the sparkling steel leash, a rustling, then a clatter, appeared in the staircase, then something that looked most like a giant lizard appeared in the doorway. Huge, gray-green, with tiny eyes and a crest on the back. Small paws calmly carried a fleshy body, the monster's chin trembled, nostrils twitched strangely. The animal seemed endless, it came in and it went in. The tail followed the body.

- Here, - said Vanka happily, - please love and favor, Lyusya!

- Who is she, - I whispered, feeling the proximity of a swoon, - what kind of animal will it be?

And, picking up the violin, Komolov disappeared.

I went to sleep at about two. Contrary to expectations, our animals accepted Lucy quite well. Maybe they considered her a special kind of dog? The cap was arranged in the guest room. To be honest, I do not like old women, everything that I have met so far has been touchy, selfish and did not allow even a word to be inserted into the stormy stream of memories. When one of the many former Katya's mother-in-law comes to visit us, expect trouble, whims, resentments, a showdown will begin in a moment ... But at first glance, Capa seemed cute to me.

Seeing the grandmother in jeans, the children were slightly surprised, then Yulechka very carefully asked:

- Capitolina ... uh-uh ...

“Just Capa,” the old woman answered and blew her bangs off her forehead.

- What is your relationship with Vanya? - I could not resist.

“Great aunt,” Capa answered calmly, “but what?

“Nothing,” I said, confused.

- How is it, great-aunt? - Seryozha was surprised.

Capa chuckled.

- I'm grandmother Vanya's sister, is it clear now?

- Quite, - assured Kiryushka.

- That's great, - stated Capa, - now, in turn, answer a couple of questions. Does everyone work in this house?

“Then I think no one will mind if I start cooking.

- No, - we yelled with Yulka.

- Hot? - Liza held out.

- Toasts with butter, - said Sergey.

“I have no more questions,” said Capa and left.

I don’t know about you, but I hate it when the phone rings in the middle of the night. And although most often it turns out that someone drunk has dialed the wrong number, those few seconds are enough for me when, not knowing what the matter is, I reach for the phone to get scared until I lose my pulse. Even today, a sharp trill made my heart clench anxiously. “Calm, only calm,” I muttered, searching the device in the dark, “all the houses, children, Katya, animals, again an idiotic mistake.” But a muffled sound came from the tube:

- Lampusha!

- Who is it?

- Lord, what happened?

A sob came from the tube. When I finally woke up, I sat down.

- Should I come?

- Please, - muttered Nadia, - if you can ...

I pulled on jeans, a pullover, grabbed my car keys and flew out into the yard.

Nadia met me at the door, wrapping herself in a cozy quilted robe.

- What happened?

“You won't believe it,” she replied.

- Lay it out.

Nadia sat down on a chair.

- Somewhere about an hour the doorbell rang.

By that time, the last guests had long gone, the servants had left, and there was no one in the apartment except Nadia. Naturally, she was alert and looked through the peephole. There was no one on the stairs. Nadya got scared and turned on the lights in all the rooms. Then the phone rang. A friend grabbed the receiver and heard a very distant, choppy voice:

“Let the thirty-ninth piglet not be afraid.

- Who? - I jumped up. - What kind of pig?

Nadya was shaking with chills.

- We had such a game with Bogdan. Forty piglets allegedly lived at home. The first was responsible for the food, the second for the cleaning ... Well, we dabbled like that, you know? Fooling around. When we were alone, he constantly called me: "thirty-ninth"!

- Why?

Nadia smiled sadly:

- All piglets have different personalities. The eighteenth is lazy, the twenty-second is a glutton, the twenty-eighth is frigid, his head always hurts, and the thirty-ninth, on the contrary, is terribly sexy ... Do you understand?

I nodded. Every happy family has its own sweet secrets hidden from prying eyes.

- So, - continued Nadya, - let the thirty-ninth open the door, he received a package.

- What about you?

- Opened it.

- She gone crazy!!!

- Lord, Lamp, after all, no one knew about our game, not a single living soul, you know yourself, they don't tell strangers about this. It seemed to me for a second: Bogdan returned ... Well, and ...

- Was there a package?

- Under the door stood.

Nadia burst into tears and poked her finger under the chair. I bent down, pulled out the box, lifted the lid, and saw two creepy burnt boots, a Slava chocolate bar and a white piece of paper. “Dear, my darling piglet, greetings from the main pig and a kiss. Sorry for the handwriting, but my burned hands hurt, so I scribbled it somehow. Do not be sad, on the tenth I will come for you. It’s just a shame to me that everyone here has beautiful things, and I, like a bum, in torn shoes. Send me Gucci boots, the patent ones I wore with my tuxedo. They are, in case you forgot, in the dressing room, at the very top. Your Bogdan. P.S. Sorry, you can only get this kind of chocolate here. "

The box fell out of my hands, my boots flopped to the floor.

Nadia burst into tears.

- Tell me who? Who's Mocking? What for?

I asked carefully:

- Do you recognize the handwriting?

- Very much like Bogdan's handwriting, - sobbed a friend, - he also wrote "r" and "n" ... The main thing is the content. Only my husband could write such a letter, no one else! Understand, nobody!

“Walk,” I shouted, shaking the leashes.

Dogs jumped out of all the rooms. Each of them has their own favorite place. Rachel loves Seryozha and Yulechka's matrimonial bed. No matter how much the guys pushed the sixty-kilogram carcass of the terrier onto the floor, it stubbornly returns to its place. And he acts extremely cunningly. At first, while the husband and wife are peacefully reading books, Rachel is sleeping peacefully on the rug, then, when the light goes out, she puts her muzzle on the edge of the sofa, then pushes it deeper ... Then she pulls one paw, the other onto the mattress, the process goes slowly but inevitably. In the end, Rachel becomes impudent and screwed between the spouses. The Staffordshire woman settles in with all possible comfort: a muzzle on a pillow, a body under a blanket. Once Seryozha, unable to understand sleepily who was breathing in his face, hugged Rachel and kissed him affectionately on the face. Not expecting such tenderness from the owner, the terrier passionately licked him back. Two neighbors came at once to the scream that the guy uttered: above and below.

Mulya and Ada prefer to sleep with me. I will not say that I am delighted with this fact. In winter, nothing else, I use hot, smooth-haired carcasses instead of heating pads, but in summer they are insanely hot. Dogs also have a disgusting habit of constantly dividing territory, each hunt to settle in the sweetest place, near the mistress's neck. In the heat of the struggle, they sit backwards on my face or climb on my head.

Ramik spends the night in the kitchen. Obviously, psychologists are right, the impressions received in early childhood are the most persistent. Our "nobleman" in infancy, until we picked him up, was starving, so now he decided not to go far from the place where food is distributed.

But as for the walk, everyone has the same tastes, so now the four are happily jumping around me.

Having put on the collars on the dogs, I heard a strange rustling. Lucy came out into the corridor. Varanikha looked at me expectantly.

Finally we crawled out into the yard. A pack of dogs rushed along the paths. Our house is located in the immediate vicinity of the metro, and the condition of the yard was terrible until recently. To pass and drive up to the house, you must pass a large, darkish even in the daytime, arch. All the lottery merchants trading near the entrance to the subway used it instead of a toilet. And homeless people have chosen our garden benches. However, the tramps were just sleeping, but the students from a nearby institute drank strong drinks under our windows, bawled songs, swore, and started fighting. The tenants' patience ran out after Anna Sergeevna from the 12th apartment, stumbled upon a girl at the entrance, tearing mailboxes off the wall. The unhappy hooligan turned out to be a drug addict.

I, Evlampia Romanova, do not have a life, but a theater of the absurd! A grandmother with a lizard settled in our apartment. The dandelion of God is rollerblading at seventy, and the lizard is sleeping in my bed. Try to conduct a murder case under such conditions, but not about one ... First, the husband of my friend Nadia, Bogdan, was burnt in a jeep. Then someone drove Nadia to suicide with calls from “the other world” and parcels with her husband’s burnt things. My dead friends were doctors. And soon I learned that Bogdan, before his death, sold the medical clinic to his deputy Yegor Pravdin ... But then a misfortune happened to Yegor - he fell out of the balcony. Do you believe in chance ?! I also! At the funeral, I found out that my friends were involved in organ transplants for money. Surely they were all killed by some patient who had something wrong with them ...

Darya Dontsova

Flying under the fly

CHAPTER 1

Life is terribly unfair. One gets beauty, happiness, luck, the other does not get anything. But then the goddess of fate catches herself and at once takes everything from the first.

We have always envied Nadyushka Kiseleva, and there was something. She is so good that even stray dogs stopped to look after her. Even in school years, everyone understood that Nadka would jump out to marry at the age of eighteen, then divorce, and then begin to endlessly change partners in life, looking for a worthy one. But Nadya entered medical school and, despite the fact that gentlemen were always swarming around her, she did not rush about partying. Having become a pediatrician, Nadia ended up in a polyclinic, where women worked mainly. In short, when she was twenty-seven, the people began to consider Kiseleva an old maid.

“I got out,” Anyuta Shakhova stated bitterly, “that's it, now skiff, give the peasants young ones.”

But Nadia surprised everyone. I went to rest in the Crimea and returned with a gentleman. Yes with what! Handsome, clever and also a doctor.

- Wait, girls, - Anyuta Shakhova was angry, - resort romances, they are. Trust me, old, shot fox, this Bogdan probably has a couple of ex-wives, about six children and a mother with hypertension.

But Nadyushka, as always, was lucky. Bogdan turned out to be an orphan, he had no wives or children in the anamnesis, and he just sore along Kiseleva. They played a wedding, Anyuta Shakhova was a witness. I carried the bridal bouquet, then we walked the whole night in the Prague restaurant.

- For a long time Nadya was looking for a beaver, - Anyuta whispered to me, - we, fools, all played in love, so what? We are now sitting up to their ears in shit, with children, without alimony. And Nadyukha is cunning. In her youth she walked up, now she climbed into the yoke. Hey you Lamp, why are you silent?

I shrugged. What to answer? I have known Nadyusha since childhood. We lived with her on the same staircase, but for some reason we did not become best friends. Maybe because they were totally busy? I went to a music school, and Nadia went to the sports section. She was very beautiful in childhood, but, unlike lovely women who rely only on appearance, Kiseleva had an iron will and determination. In her youth, she did not walk, but studied. Probably, God rewarded her with such a husband as Bogdan for good behavior. One problem is that their children did not work out well. Nadia was very worried, and Bogdan told everyone:

- Why do we need kids? I have Nadia.

“Happiness happens to people,” Shakhova said once, “no diapers, no shoes, no screams ... That's really lucky, so lucky.

And she blurted it out right in Nadia's face at some family holiday, where she was invited as her best friend. Nadezhda did not answer, but I was indignant:

- Think what you say!

Anyuta snorted and went to smoke on the balcony.

- It's useless for her to make comments, - smiled Nadya, - don't spoil your nerves.

- How can you be friends with such? She hates you.

- Well, this is a strong saying, just a little envy Anyuta those whose life is more successful than hers, - Nadyusha answered calmly, - I feel sorry for Nyusha.

All Nadia is in this statement. As for luck, it went to Kiseleva in a continuous stream. At first, she and her husband wrote Ph.D. theses, and in 1996 they opened a private hospital. Despite the immense competition in the world of medical services, their affairs turned to the envy of many. Nadya and Bogdan got dressed, bought expensive foreign cars, started going to Spain three times a year, and it was obvious that they would never spend all the money they earned. It seemed that Nadia did not have life, but Shrovetide. But nine days ago it all ended at once.

Bogdan, together with his deputy Yegor Pravdin, went out of town on business, the details of what happened next are unknown to me. I only know that on the way, almost at the entrance to Moscow, for some reason a car, a jeep, a good, expensive, practically new car caught fire. It belonged to Bogdan, and the owner himself was at the wheel. Yegor managed to jump out, but the driver did not. The body of Bogdan, burnt to a fire, was taken out by the Emergencies Ministry. We buried him at the Mitinskoye cemetery, or rather, burned what was left in the crematorium.

Darya Dontsova

Flying under the fly

Life is terribly unfair. One gets beauty, happiness, luck, the other does not get anything. But then the goddess of fate catches herself and at once takes everything from the first.

We have always envied Nadyushka Kiseleva, and there was something. She is so good that even stray dogs stopped to look after her. Even in school years, everyone understood that Nadka would jump out to marry at the age of eighteen, then divorce, and then begin to endlessly change partners in life, looking for a worthy one. But Nadya entered medical school and, despite the fact that gentlemen were always swarming around her, she did not rush about partying. Having become a pediatrician, Nadia ended up in a polyclinic, where women worked mainly. In short, when she was twenty-seven, the people began to consider Kiseleva an old maid.

“I got out,” Anyuta Shakhova stated bitterly, “that's it, now skiff, give the peasants young ones.”

But Nadia surprised everyone. I went to rest in the Crimea and returned with a gentleman. Yes with what! Handsome, clever and also a doctor.

- Wait, girls, - Anyuta Shakhova was angry, - resort romances, they are. Trust me, old, shot fox, this Bogdan probably has a couple of ex-wives, about six children and a mother with hypertension.

But Nadyushka, as always, was lucky. Bogdan turned out to be an orphan, he had no wives or children in the anamnesis, and he just sore along Kiseleva. They played a wedding, Anyuta Shakhova was a witness. I carried the bridal bouquet, then we walked the whole night in the Prague restaurant.

- For a long time Nadya was looking for a beaver, - Anyuta whispered to me, - we, fools, all played in love, so what? We are now sitting up to their ears in shit, with children, without alimony. And Nadyukha is cunning. In her youth she walked up, now she climbed into the yoke. Hey you Lamp, why are you silent?

I shrugged. What to answer? I have known Nadyusha since childhood. We lived with her on the same staircase, but for some reason we did not become best friends. Maybe because they were totally busy? I went to a music school, and Nadia went to the sports section. She was very beautiful in childhood, but, unlike lovely women who rely only on appearance, Kiseleva had an iron will and determination. In her youth, she did not walk, but studied. Probably, God rewarded her with such a husband as Bogdan for good behavior. One problem is that their children did not work out well. Nadia was very worried, and Bogdan told everyone:

- Why do we need kids? I have Nadia.

“Happiness happens to people,” Shakhova said once, “no diapers, no shoes, no screams ... That's really lucky, so lucky.

And she blurted it out right in Nadia's face at some family holiday, where she was invited as her best friend. Nadezhda did not answer, but I was indignant:

- Think what you say!

Anyuta snorted and went to smoke on the balcony.

- It's useless for her to make comments, - smiled Nadya, - don't spoil your nerves.

- How can you be friends with such? She hates you.

- Well, this is a strong saying, just a little envy Anyuta those whose life is more successful than hers, - Nadyusha answered calmly, - I feel sorry for Nyusha.

All Nadia is in this statement. As for luck, it went to Kiseleva in a continuous stream. At first, she and her husband wrote Ph.D. theses, and in 1996 they opened a private hospital. Despite the immense competition in the world of medical services, their affairs turned to the envy of many. Nadya and Bogdan got dressed, bought expensive foreign cars, started going to Spain three times a year, and it was obvious that they would never spend all the money they earned. It seemed that Nadia did not have life, but Shrovetide. But nine days ago it all ended at once.

Bogdan, together with his deputy Yegor Pravdin, went out of town on business, the details of what happened next are unknown to me. I only know that on the way, almost at the entrance to Moscow, for some reason a car, a jeep, a good, expensive, practically new car caught fire. It belonged to Bogdan, and the owner himself was at the wheel. Yegor managed to jump out, but the driver did not. The body of Bogdan, burnt to a fire, was taken out by the Emergencies Ministry. We buried him at the Mitinskoye cemetery, or rather, burned what was left in the crematorium.