And bisexuality…same-sex marriages flourish in the west…
And it would seem, what if girl fell in love with a girl? Non-traditional sexual orientation? Or a somewhat distorted love, close, friendly relations?
I am a girl fell in love with a girl - will there be happiness in a same-sex marriage?
Good day, dear psychologists.I am a girl, I am 22 years old. From the age of 16 I fell in love with a girl "with a head". It was mutual. We have never been and never are lesbians, but we are drawn with inexplicable force to each other.
As a child, it was all somehow frivolous. We just spent time together, enjoyed each other and did not think about anything. We lived apart and saw each other mainly in the summer. Both were bored, both were waiting. Of course they hid it from everyone. I even tried to build a relationship with a guy in parallel, but nothing worked.
I have never felt anything like this for anyone. Sunrises and sunsets were only with her. In the university years, we still parted ways with her, because I considered it all wrong and decided to quit. I wanted to be a normal girl and be with a guy. I dated a guy for 3 years and tried to create a normal relationship. I really tried to love him. But she couldn't...
Once we met with her and it all started again, no matter how I tried to suppress it in myself. From that moment on, we were together again on the phone, I came to visit her, and she came to me. Meeting her were the best days of my life. I quickly forgot about the guy, but we remained good friends. I even told him about it. Now, for a year now, we have been living in the same city and see each other often, but a problem has arisen.
In my head again the thought: “she will not be able to give a happy future, family, children ..” I stopped seeing the value of our relationship. I am depressed by the reaction of society if I hug somewhere. You have to constantly hide your feelings and show only in private. There is no freedom to express feelings. Everything seemed to be pressing on me. If earlier for me she was everything and inspired me, now for me this relationship is like a tragedy of my own life.
I can't live without her and I can't live like this anymore with her. Once again, I took a time out and I don’t know what to do. It is impossible for me to delete this person from my life, because she is a part of me. How to be? I even thought about a Swedish family) but will I be happy in it? She is like a soul to me, but it seems to me that I will not be happy with her as a girl ... (((
I fell in love with a girl, a woman - what should I do?
If you are a girl and want female happiness, but at the same time you fell in love with a girl and are suffering about public opinion, or you are afraid for your female future due to bias and prejudice, if you are in a psychological impasse, then, for starters, you need to thoroughly understand to yourself: in your true desires and needs, in your feelings and instinctive drives, in your life values and priorities...If everything suits you in your relationship as a girl with a girl, if you feel happy next to her and this is mutual, if you do not want to continue your family, do not want to become a mother (although this is also possible, in the case of a Swedish family), and if you really do not need men, then you should not consider your relationship a perversion only on the basis of traditional public opinion. Throw away all prejudices and stereotypes, and live the way you both consider acceptable for yourself.
However, do not forget about the traditional society and you just need to respect its values, moral principles and views. Therefore, it is better not to draw attention to yourself with the not entirely clear relationships between a girl and a girl ... although the usual hugs, hugs, kisses and courtship with a manifestation of obvious love and care are quite normal in a traditional society.
Well, if you have a desire, your own, and not out of prejudice, to start an ordinary female life, with future motherhood and marriage, but you don’t know how to get rid of a girl’s past love for a girl ... or you have some doubts and are tormented by obsessive thoughts, then you need to contact a psychologist, in person or online and with his help, understand yourself and solve this problem completely ...
Providing psychological assistance - Oleg Vyacheslavovich Matveev
Sexual deviations - Psychotherapy session
Psychotherapeutic Journal: Psychology Articles (
Most young people do not see their life without love. Everyone dreams of meeting their "soul mate" and knowing all the delights of a love relationship.
However, in practice, everything is much more complicated. Often dating lead to nothing, and if there is any sympathy, then soon only irritation remains instead of it. As a result, many people are disappointed in this occupation and prefer splendid loneliness.
But sometimes it happens that love comes by itself. And in this case, a person experiences feelings previously unknown to him, which are difficult to give any assessment.
That is why on numerous forums on the Internet dedicated to relationships, from time to time there is a question: “What to do if a boy fell in love with you?”. In this article we will try to understand this difficult situation.
How to love a person who loves you? help you!
How to understand that you are not indifferent?
all sorts of signs of attention in your direction- the first time someone fell in love with you.
Even if he (she) has a fantastic beauty, it may not have the same zest, thanks to which even objectively scary people are successful among the opposite sex.
In addition, a person's external data can remind you of other people with whom unpleasant life situations are associated.
Character, upbringing and social status of a person also play an important role in building relationships.
An aggressive, rude, stupid redneck will never arouse sympathy in a calm, well-mannered and educated intellectual. Accordingly, a swearing habalka is unlikely to please a quiet and polite young man.
How to behave if sympathy is not mutual?
In such a situation, it is necessary to immediately make it clear to the person that he full of false hopes.
If there is no pronounced rejection, then it is advisable to do this as gently as possible.
Does a guy or girl invite you to attend an event together? Tell me what's waiting for you urgent business.
Does he or she constantly offer some kind of help?
Thank and politely decline. The same should be done when a person tries to give you a gift.
By accepting it, you will automatically begin to feel you owe it - this is exactly what a guy or girl in love with you is counting on.
If a person disgusts you, then don't mess with him. As a rule, such negative feelings are provoked by impudent, aggressive, ill-mannered people. Such a person will not catch your hints.
Moreover, the lack of response only provoke the lover a person in you, which will make him seek your location even more actively. Only a firm “no” can stop this madness.
What to do if you fell in love?
Young woman
If the appearance and mannerisms of a girl seem attractive to you, then You can give her a chance to prove herself. It is likely that she will turn out to be an interesting and deep person with whom you can have a good time.
Subsequently, a fun pastime can develop into something more: into joint activities, living and even marriage.
Favor, shown at the first stage of dating, can give you a loving, beautiful and faithful wife.
If the girl is less than eighteen years old, and you are much older, then you should think carefully about developing a relationship with her.
At this age, girls do not yet know what they really want, and every day experiment with their lives.
In addition, although the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation allows sexual contact with girls who are already sixteen years old, in practice all this can turn into big problems for you.
Boy
The same advice as in the previous paragraph works here. The guy is good-looking, smart and educated? Try to respond to his sympathy, you will not lose.
It is possible that your responsiveness will instill in him faith in his own strength and inexhaustible energy, which he will direct into the development of his professional or creative activity.
You, being his activator, will be able to share with him the successes and joys of life.
Remember that young people between the ages of 20 and 30 harder to find a mate than teenagers or mature men.
Many guys in this period do not yet have relationship experience or it is too small to easily overcome their shyness and fear of being rejected.
At the same time a young man is in limbo by attending an educational institution or starting a career in any field.
In other words, he most likely does not yet have any serious material wealth. For many modern young people (boys and girls) this is a serious limitation.
Therefore, if a guy nevertheless declared his feelings towards you, know - he thought it over carefully and is ready to be with you.
Student
Unexpected or a student for a teacher is another sedative pill resources in his daily diet.
Here, not only a significant difference in age and education interferes, but also professional ethics.
If a teacher works at a school, then he should use all your teaching skills and try to convey to the teenager that it is fleeting and will soon pass.
It is likely that at first the student or student will blindly deny such statements and prove your sympathy even more actively. Frank provocations and "cunning" intrigues are possible, aimed at winning over a beloved teacher.
If the teacher fails to inspire the teenager with the futility of his actions, it is necessary to show perseverance and simply wait for the end of his training.
Anyway, You should not report this situation to the parents of a teenager..
You will forever lose the trust of the child and you can bring on unnecessary suspicions that can cost you your reputation and career.
Easier for university teachers- Their students are adults. Accordingly, possible problems with parents and superiors are excluded. If you are not embarrassed by the age difference, you may well respond to the sympathy of a student or student.
Is it worth trying a relationship?
The answer to this question depends on many factors, the main one being your wish.
If you are satisfied with a person in love with you and you want to be needed by someone, feel free to go towards your happiness.
If any qualities of this person run counter to your ideas about a strong relationship, then you you can stay friends.
Who knows what will happen in the future? Perhaps this particular guy or girl will become the closest person to you.
Always focus only on your own feelings!
Don't let anyone decide how you live and who you love. After all, only in this way you will become a truly happy person.
In this article, you will see the most obvious signs of a girl falling in love. And some tips on how to make her fall in love with you.
A man in love looks at the world through the prism of beautiful pink glasses and cannot always adequately assess the feelings of his chosen one. In addition, ignorance of female psychology can completely confuse a guy and he will not realistically assess his capabilities for reciprocal feelings. However, everything is not so difficult, it is enough to be attentive to the girl and her manners. Look and behavior have time to read all her feelings.
How to determine: is a girl, a woman in love with you?
- A girl or woman who has feelings for a young man or man will be very talkative when meeting, thereby hiding her nervousness and embarrassment. Her mind will be overwhelmed with thoughts about her chosen one and with her friends she will always translate all topics to her beloved young man, man.
- And if there are still doubts about her feelings, you should carefully ask your common or not very close friends and acquaintances. They certainly could see her obsessive desire to talk about her boyfriend, a man.
- In a conversation with a loved one, she will definitely show attention and goodwill, carefully peering into her eyes.
How to find out if a girl, a woman by correspondence, is in love with you?
If you have been communicating with a girl or woman at a distance for a long time and want to know if she already has real feelings for you, then just ask her a question about the events that you discussed a couple of weeks ago.
If she answers everything exactly, then she loves. Only events and memories associated with a loved one, a girl or woman keeps with special care.
How to know if a girl, a woman is in love with you: sure signs of falling in love, sympathy
Sure signs of a girl falling in love with you:
- Her praise of your address and attention to deeds
- She bypasses all intimate topics and is embarrassed in your presence.
- Always laughing at your jokes. Even if not very funny
- Gets very upset when you praise or just talk about other girls
- Ready to chat with you all day and does not want to leave
- Gets inspired when discussing romantic topics
- Trusts you in everything and believes the word
How does a girl in love, a woman look?
At the very first stages of the emergence of feelings, when there is no way to touch, hug, or even just say out loud about brewing feelings, a girl or woman simply screams with her eyes about her love.
- Her gaze will be luminous and tender, and from its depth one can already understand a lot about her feelings.
- If a girl or woman holds her gaze for more than 5 seconds, then she is in love.
- The pupils are dilated - this is also a sure sign of love.
- The look that follows every movement, when you just can’t escape from it, just belongs to a girl in love, a woman.
Signs of a girl falling in love, a woman in behavior, appearance
- A girl in love, a woman changes and tries to look much better, there is a new hairstyle and makeup, new outfits or jewelry.
- She rejoices at any trifles and her previous problems no longer bother her so much.
- May lose appetite slightly or lose weight.
- It speaks of readiness for the most desperate deeds - from parachuting to walking on rooftops.
- He tries to touch you as often as possible - by accident or on purpose, causing non-verbal interest in himself.
- May get flustered, embarrassed, or blush in your presence.
- Repeats involuntarily your gestures and facial expressions, sometimes even remembers the words that you speak.
- He openly flirts with you and at the same time slightly touches his hair.
Can a girl or woman in love ignore the object of her love?
Some girls, women, whose psyche is not yet fully formed, can hide their love under the guise of indifference. This happens only because they still do not know how to express their feelings or are simply afraid to show them, so as not to get pain from unrequited love.
Is it possible to fall in love with a girl, a woman on purpose?
Of course, you can't force anyone to love you. But to make every effort to win the girl or woman you like for a guy or a man is truly noble and can turn into success.
What needs to be done for this?
- Of course give her flowers regularly. It is better to find out which ones she likes so as not to get into a mess. And it is better to diversify the bouquets every time. let it be daisies, and tulips and chrysanthemums. So you will be unpredictable and will be able to surprise.
- spend more time with her and try to find out all her hobbies. Rollerblading, biking, or walking hand in hand through the streets of a deserted city - quality time together is no substitute for any expensive gift.
- Read more, watch new movies so you have something to talk about. Girls and women love smart guys and men and are always imbued with deep conversations. Yes, and every woman dreams of spending her life with an intelligent man, developed in all areas.
- Introduce her to your friends. This will increase her confidence in you and she will understand that you have serious intentions. Tell them how wonderful she is and that you are serious. Otherwise, they may perceive her as another friend of yours and she will be disappointed.
- Don't forget to congratulate her and her friends with their holidays, let all birthdays be remembered with special surprises. especially she will remember not banal gifts, but originally thought out ones. for example, a quest with a search for a gift and clues along the way.
- And of course the poetry. If you don't know how to write yourself, find a beautiful verse and write it on a beautiful postcard or send it to her via SMS. The wish of good night and good morning in small quatrains will be remembered by her and she will be imbued with your romanticism.
How to check if a girl, a woman is in love with you: reviews and tips
- Always pay attention to her reaction to your jokes. Girls in love always laugh at anything.
- Offer her an unusual act for her - for example, take a walk around the city until morning. If she reacts indifferently, then there are no feelings. The lover will be happy and will definitely agree.
- Listen to her way of communicating with you. If she talks calmly with others, but gets a little lost and embarrassed with you, then you are in her heart.
- If she flirts and takes very seductive poses, repeats your movements and phrases, then you are not indifferent to her.
Every girl and woman dreams of love and a worthy chosen one. Do not be tormented by doubts, do great deeds, conquer it and be happy!
Anton, 18 years old.
I was always embarrassed and did not understand how to find out if my girlfriend has real feelings for me. And after checking all the ways, I realized that she was really in love. I managed to overcome my fear and confess my feelings to her.
Video: How to know if a girl loves?
You have been dating a girl for some time, but you still cannot understand if your feelings are mutual? Are you in the same general company of friends and have you noticed interested looks at yourself for a long time, but you can’t understand what they mean? How to understand that a girl is in love with you?
In psychology, there is such a concept - "unconscious actions". They are divided into three groups:
Sight.
Gestures.
Behavior.
It is with the help of such actions that you can determine how this or that person treats you. Consider each of the groups in terms of love and sympathy. 15 signs of falling in love, divided into three groups.
Group one. Sight.
Do you often notice that a girl gives you interested looks? Be sure: if a girl is watching a young man, it means that she cares about him.
The same applies to those cases when, having noticed a loving look, you look back, and the girl turns away in embarrassment. This is a sure sign that the girl loves you.
One of the most famous facts: if the pupils of a person who looks at you dilate, it almost certainly means that he likes you. Take a closer look.
Group two. Gestures.
A girl in love is always looking for a reason to touch the object of her desires, even just a little push with her shoulder. If a girl loves you, then she, sometimes unconsciously, can start straightening your shirt, hair or brushing off dust particles. This behavior of the girl clearly speaks of her deep sympathy.
Do you notice that the girl is nervous when she talks to you, her voice trembles a little, maybe she is acting unnaturally? Most likely, her slight nervousness is due to the fact that she is very worried about whether you like her or not, and unconsciously begins to behave in this way.
When a girl falls in love, she begins to flirt with the object of her affections. Laughing at every one of your jokes, a languid look, compliments, unambiguous hints - all this for sure means that she is interested in you. Some girls (as well as young people, by the way!), in an attempt to hide their feelings, release caustic comments and taunts against their lover. This behavior of a girl is quite normal. Also, many girls resort to tactile methods: they slightly twist the curls with their fingers, as if by chance they touch the young man with their legs.
Also, a girl in love may begin to unconsciously mirror your gestures and postures - for example, sit in the same way as you, walk in a similar gait, or fold your arms in the same position.
When a girl falls in love, she is completely calm about the fact that a young man is interested in her personal time, those with whom she communicates, and so on. She will gladly share it with him. Sometimes a girl in love can even embellish her stories so that the young man she likes starts to be a little jealous of her after her stories about how “Petya from a parallel course called me to the theater and presented a bouquet of roses”. In addition, if you can easily pick up her phone, if he called in her absence and see who it was, get into her purse for napkins or eat something from her plate, you know - this "invasion" girls allow, as a rule, only their girlfriends into their personal space. And that's not for everyone. And not always.
Group three. Behavior.
A girl in love will first of all give preference to the guy she likes. If instead of talking with a friend or going to the movies, she chose to spend time with you, know that you are very important to her.
A girl is in love with you if you notice that she is showing interest in you. At the same time, she can do this not only directly, but through mutual friends (to be interested in your life, your hobbies), through social networks (for example, to put likes on your post "my favorite music").
Do you prefer some kind of active sport, and the girl is a terrible coward, but she selflessly tries her hand? Be sure: she definitely likes you! For the sake of your hobbies, she forgets about her fear - it's worth a lot. At least yours "answers". Be prepared for the fact that at some point you will also need to step on the throat of some of your features.
Does the girl give you gifts with or without? Even if these are small signs of attention, this definitely speaks of her love. It is very important for girls to show their sympathy: in this way she shows care. If the gift is related to your hobby (for example, a ticket to a concert of your favorite band) or made by yourself, then the girl definitely has long-term plans for you!
Jealousy- another sign of a girl's love. If a girl is in love with you, she will definitely not like that you helped a young female, even if it happened on the street and you did not know each other; your correspondence with childhood / youth friends, even just communication with work colleagues. By nature, girls are possessive, and they really do not like to share their potential or current boyfriends with others.
Perhaps every young person at least once in his life faced with such a question: “Are my feelings mutual?”. Of course, you can ask the girl directly. But what to do if there are too many doubts, but you don’t want to make yourself look stupid?
In this case, the unconscious actions of the girl come to the rescue, which she herself may not notice. But knowing about their existence and being able to read them, you can easily determine whether you really have a chance for reciprocity.
Signs that she loves you
All unconscious actions of a person can be divided into 3 groups: behavior, look, gestures. Let's analyze each separately.
Behavior
In order to find out if a girl is in love, you need to observe how she behaves. Here are the main signs:
- Interest. A girl who is not indifferent is usually very pleased to hear about your affairs. A sure sign - if a girl tries to ask someone else about you, she asks mutual friends about your condition. If a girl is always ready to help you, regardless of her own affairs, then most likely she likes you.
- Communication. The girl who likes you will seek communication with you. She would rather talk to you than talk to a friend.
Pay attention: if a girl stays close to you at all general meetings and tries to speak, this is a sure sign.
- self-sacrifice. Do you know that she is terribly afraid of drowning, but she boldly climbs into the boat after you? She definitely likes you.
A girl in love very often puts the guy's interests in the foreground, forgetting about her own for a while. But remember that the girl will expect the same from you, do not disappoint her.
- Gifts. A gift without a reason is a reason to think about the nature of your relationship. This is the most obvious way for a girl to convey that she likes a guy. If you were presented with a handmade thing, in which a lot of time and effort was invested, this can be a help for a long, serious relationship.
- Jealousy. Caught a look full of displeasure when he spoke to her friend? Helped a sweet stranger on the street, and then you can’t understand what upset her so much? She's just jealous of you. Even if you are not yet in a relationship, a girl in love does not want to share you with others at all.
- Care. If you get sick, and she comes to you much more often than all the other friends, if she wants to take care of your condition, she absolutely likes you. All girls have a maternal instinct that makes them take care of people. But only about special, dear people.
- Happiness. There is one more, perhaps the most not obvious sign. But it is also worth paying attention to: a girl in love (even if unrequited so far) looks like a little sun. She rejoices in every little thing, and it seems that nothing can upset her.
Sight
- You are capable catch her eye on you when you are in a big company? See if this happens often. If at least three or four times during your meeting - you are definitely interesting to the girl, she wants to look at you.
- If looking at you the pupils of a woman in love increase, then this is a true physiological sign. But please do not try to see the changes in girls with dark eyes. Even if you succeed, you run the risk of embarrassing or scaring the chosen one.
- You looked at the girl and saw how she looked sharply in the other direction? This means that she is in love with you and is embarrassed by this. She wants to look at you, she wants to date you, but she is afraid that you will not reciprocate her feelings.
Sign language
- touch.A girl in love will constantly look for touches to the object of feelings, often even unconsciously for herself. She will sit closer to you in a cafe, in all the attractions, in a cinema and in other places. What for? Hoping that at some point your hands will meet.
If a girl is constantly trying to straighten your hair, slap on your shoulder or remove an invisible speck of dust from you, you can safely confess your feelings to her - and you will surely get reciprocity. - Excitement. For any woman, meeting with objects of sighing is a very exciting event. Looking at her at this moment, you can easily understand if she feels something for you.
A girl in love may have a slight blush on her cheeks and rapid breathing; she will not know where to put her hands and may even answer inappropriately. In order to notice these subtle, almost invisible signs, you need to develop good powers of observation.
- flirt. Girls are big coquettes. And it is not surprising that a girl in love with you will flirt with you. Flirting is a sure way to determine sympathy, "test the waters." How do you know if a girl is flirting? A sure sign of flirting is compliments. They can be both direct and veiled "woven" into the conversation.
Often, flirting, a girl teases, teases you. Do not be offended - this is a sign that she likes you. Of course, provided that the girl does not do this often and only on those topics that you make fun of in yourself.
An equally important sign of flirting are gestures and movements. If a girl in a conversation “shoots” with her eyes, twists her curls and smiles sweetly - be sure she likes you, and she flirts with you.
- rapport. Another sign is that the girl unconsciously “mirrors” your poses. She can keep pace with you, sit in a cafe in the same position, hold her hands in the same way - all this will be a sign of sympathy.
- Personal space. If a girl is calm about your intrusions into her personal space, this will also be a sign of her sympathy for you.
What is an invasion of personal space? This is if you touch her hair or cheek without her permission, if you suddenly bite off a piece of her ice cream, or take a ringing phone out of her purse to give it to her. Did the girl endure it all? She really likes you a lot.
Signs of indifference on the part of a woman
Here are some of the main signs that indicate that a girl does not love you:
- If a girl calls you not for the purpose of talking, but only in those cases when she needs something, this may be a sign - she's just using you.
But feel the difference. If you chatted with a girl for an hour, and during the conversation about books, she asked you to nail the bookshelf, then she is probably just looking for a meeting. And if she, having called, began a conversation with the words “fix”, “borrow” or “buy”, then you are completely indifferent to her.
- Young woman tells you about his relationships with guys? So you are only a friend to her, and she is in love with another. If she liked you, she (even when meeting with someone else) would not once again remind you of this.
- If you have already met, but the relationship has already deteriorated, and you decided to break it off, look at the girl's reaction. If she is sincerely upset, then she still has feelings for you and everything can be restored. If she doesn't care, then the relationship has become obsolete, and you did the right thing that you decided to break it.
But if, under the threat of parting, a girl suddenly begins to show such an interest in you that she has never had before, this is a reason to think - maybe she is just using you and does not want to lose her source of money or help?
In this video, you can see how a girl in love behaves with examples:
Now you have all the information you need. You just need to look closely at the girl. She will definitely give herself away in a word, gesture or deed.
