In this article, you will learn how to swear with people and why in general, it needs to be done. It is possible for you this material will seem some kind of outrageous and incomprehensible. After all, actually, it is impossible to swear.
This spoils both relationships with other people and the karma itself. However, as a life practice has shown, you can not get anywhere. In addition, there is a great benefit. Here we will start with her.
Why do people swear?
So, why do people swear and what could be the benefit of it? In principle, everything is very simple! The fact is that when a person swears, at this time he releases itself negative energy. Figuratively speaking, "Releases couples". As a result, after an unpleasant incident, a person drops the accumulated load of the negative and it becomes easier for the soul.
Therefore, never keep everything in yourself. It is very dangerous! Especially a big load go to the heart. In other words, not surprising! After all, the soul is in our heart. So never keep all the negative from life. Be sure to need to release it and facilitate the cargo in the human soul. If you do not do this, then in the future you will have serious trouble in the form of diseases.
If you still did not disappear doubts, then here is one example.
You probably know that according to statistics, as a rule, women live longer than men. Why is it going on? After all, there is much more liability for the beautiful floor than in men.
The fact is that women often cry. At this point, the entire negative is released on the soul. You probably already have been repeatedly tested on themselves. Remember how after crying the soul was easier. Here is one of the most significant reasons why women live longer men.
So we disassembled that when a person swears, he is exempt from negative energy in his soul. However, in addition, there is another substantial plus. He acts as a protective mechanism.
The fact is that when a person swears on other people, thereby he can warn them about further danger.
If he does such a warning in a calm form, then to others this information may not reach.
For example, the child walks with the ball near the road.
When Mother sees all this and starts swearing on his child, then she will find her stress from what he seen. And further into force the protective mechanism is entering into force. Mother begins to swear (in the head of the child information) So that he remembered this moment for a long time.
Here you have the second advantage in the form of a protective mechanism. Now you know why we swear. This is an initially nature laid. We just have to do it right and without unnecessary problems.
How to swear without a mat?
And now let's look at how to swear without a mat with a man to not offend him and not spoil the relationship.
The first thing you need to do is to prepare backup words for force majeure circumstances. It is very important!
Unfortunately, under certain cases you will not be able to prone different, pre-prepared words.
For example, for a small rugney to use only alone words, and in too serious times to use others. Not! It will not work because you will have no time to think what words and at what point you need to pronounce.
Therefore, under all unpleasant moments, select only a few identical words or phrases and print them in your brain.
What words to select?
Well, it is clear that not matery and not too offensive. Material words strongly spoil your karma and lower self-esteem in the eyes of others.
In some cases, you risk even get mistaken. And this can then lead to even greater stress and negative in the shower. That is why it is impossible to swear by mat. Facelist - it is a sin! Therefore, I immediately speak, no mat!
Too offensive words (sliced) Also not an option.
If we use, then only in easier form. For example, the most common word, "fool". This will especially be useful in family relationships. So you do not cry too much feelings of another person and then you will then have more chances to establish relationships with him.
After all, the word is not sparrow! Therefore, always be prepared for such expansions of the events and never use heavy vigorative words.
So, with the words we figured out. Now go to the second moment. This is a sound.
You can swear quiet or too loud. By the way, you did not think, why do you want to swear out loud? The fact is that there is a lot depends on the severity of the spiritual cargo and stress itself.
If he is too big, you will swear loudly to release more accumulated negative. However, the problem is that all this can occur at a very inappropriate moment.
For example, you are sitting on some conference and then they call you and report one too unpleasant situation. Shouting to the whole hall in this case is not worth it. You just wait!
However, as mentioned above, you need to immediately release the entire negative. Therefore, in such awkward moments you can only swear quietly under the nose. This method will facilitate a little your mental state and will not be disgraced in front of other people.
Well, the last way to release steam, these are facial expressions and gestures. I recommend it to use in family relationships.
With strangers, it is better not to use it in order not to attract attention. The exception is only the moments when you and your loved ones are threatened with mortal danger.
For example, a dog or a drunken man attacked your child. In this case, without an additional pair of hands, it's just not to do.
In family relations, such a way will be very useful. He immediately kills two hares. First, your neighbors will not hear screams. Secondly, you do not insult your loved one. You just show a disgruntled face or machine with your hands. Therefore, in such cases I recommend that such a way to release steam.
However, here again, you should not bear the stick too much. You can injure your loved one or something worse.
Therefore, do so. With some small quarrels, try to use facial expressions and gestures. However, it is necessary to use it for yourself:
- make a displeased face
- divide hands
- knock the fist in your body (for example, in palm)
However, to free up a large reservoir of negative, one gestures and facial expressions will not be enough. If the situation is aggravated and the negative continues to grow, then connect your voice.
To begin with, try to swear under the nose. Of course, in more severe cases, you will have to increase the tone very much. There is no anywhere. Therefore, it remains only to use in advance prepared words so as not to aggravate the situation even more.
So on this all! Now you know the appropriate ways about how to swear with a person. Be sure to take them to your arms!
Well, never keep everything in yourself. It is very dangerous for your health. Therefore, try to free your soul from heavy shipment and negative energy. It will only benefit you.
The best thing is to avoid various quarrels. However, it does not always work in life. Therefore, it is better to apply these tips in practice to further get rid of many problems. In general, be healthy!
All! Even if your family has an understanding and reciprocity, periodic quarrels can not be avoided. And this is normal if the quarrel is moderate and constructive. The matter is another - to understand how to quarrel.
Without quarrels, it is impossible to do in any way. They arise among friends, family couples, at work and in public transport. It is not possible to avoid them, no matter how a person does not try, because the quarrel is the result of our inner disagreement. Therefore, it is not recommended to leave quarrels.
Quarrels are a splash of negative energy, which is caused by aggression. Aggression arises due to the disagreement of a person with someone else's point of view, his behavior or manner of communication.
Given that the same people do not happen, there is no fully identical opinion, so disagreement is a normal reaction.
Why people swear
Many believe that the best way to maintain good relationship is never to quarrel. But this is a controversial position. If you constantly agree with someone else's opinion and suppress your own, sooner or later it will lead either to the nervous breakdown, akin to the exploded bomb, or to nervous exhaustion. This is a common script.
It is much better not to inflate the conflict to the size of the "elephant", swearing in a small one when you can painlessly repay the conflict, without exacerbating the situation and not bringing the case to extremes. In addition, for us, since childhood, they say that the nervous cells are not restored, and all human diseases are the consequences of nervous exhaustion and constant stress. So since a) quarrels not to avoid, b) you do not want to spoil the relationship, in such a situation the best way out of the situation is to learn how to quarrel.
In essence, any quarrel is a conflict of interest.
If a person does not know how to leave a conflict situation, he seeks to cope with aggression simply by applying force.
But this is an extreme case that can have the most negative consequences, and even more so if it is a quarrel in the family, then the divorce is not far off. Flaw fists is a great way to make a person hurt and make him silence, but this does not mean that he will even agree with your right. Then what is the point of doing useless and illogical actions based on momentary emotions?
How to quarrel
Those who value relationships seek them to keep them, it is not important that the person fell silent, and so that he accepted his point of view or at least tried to do this. It is necessary to learn even in the hottest situation to maintain composure and not allow to descend to a certain feature. This feature is determined by himself. Below we give 5 recommendations that will not allow not to collapse in the fluff and dust and do not speak too much, because accidentally obdicted words can firmly stuck in the head and for many years to blame the hole in your relationship. Knowing how to swear correctly, you can save both family, and friendly relations, and the conflict with the boss will not end with dismissal.
5 rules of the right quarrel
Starting harder to so much in the dispute, do not touch the weak points.
This is especially true of married couples who live with each other for a long time and know the most vulnerable places of each other. This does not mean that taboo is superimposed on the weakness of the partner. On the contrary, they need to be understood, but do not take care of the trump card in the sleeve, but never use them. If you neglect by this rule, you can apply a strong psychological trauma to you, which he will never forgive you, and if forgive, it is only for the continuation of the conflict. Trying man for living, you deeply wage him, and if the next day you will forget it, then the opponent will remember the offense all his life. In addition, it is important not to forget that it is the mutual exchange of such svkosks that usually moves from the verbal pass to the hands-preposition.
Sexual moves.
A quarrel in the family can have different reasons, and sometimes the usual displeasure of her husband saved by borscht can proceed to insult sexual advantages. Never use in conflicts to insults with sexual subtext that make fun or exaggerate sexual disadvantages. After a couple of such conflicts, the resentment will grow to such sizes that sex with each other will cease to bring pleasure, it will seem a shameful "obligatory", and the image of sexual irrelevant and speeding is firmly stuck in the head, and all this is the consequences of carelessly abandoned words. In fact, a quarrel with insults of sexual subtext is the end of normal relations between people, because they cease to respect each other.
How to quarrel to a woman?
Never in conflict does not shout a husband or guy that he is nothingness, weakly, salisy and rag, even if he really is. After such words you will have to think about. If he is so, what's wrong with you? Why do you need so much? This humiliation of male dignity, which no normal man tolerate will endure, so if you want to offend, use words without a pronounced derogatory context: a bastard, a scoundrel, a fool, but not a nitar and weak.
How to swear a man?
Never call a woman with a fat, quasher, rude. You are on a platoon, but in front of you is a favorite woman. Swear on her to spill out your emotions, no one forbids you. Speak it with a transient, span, but on everything that is connected with its appearance, especially if it is not perfect, is taboo. It's like putting the cross on your relationship with her. Also, if she really is such that you are next to her, so beautiful and courageous, do it?
Argument!
To understand how to quarrel, it is enough to understand that the emphasis you need to do in clear arguments, and not insults, and if it did not succeed in the offensive words, focus on how to add and wrap, without replicas below the belt. Words abandoned in a rustling of emotions are stronger than others get stuck in the subconscious. How will you explain after reconciliation that he is not a coward or she is not a fat one?
Understand the main thing: family relationship is the zone of maximum openness and at the same time vulnerabilities. Therefore, it is so important to try once again not to prick a partner with a random word or action.
Speaker, especially if this quarrel in the family, programs a partner to the reaction of attraction or rejection to you. And do not silent. In silence, you provoke a new portion of negative emotions in the swirl of partner's consciousness. The correct quarrel does not carry a precipitate, even if you just dreamed and metali and were ready to erase each other into powder. As they say, cute are worried - only they are treated. However, if after each new quarrel you are more difficult to experience the said and heard, you should seriously think about. Quarrel - this is an art, and the one who owns them has every chance to build full-fledged relationships.
Dedicated to loving and married couples.
Can a person do not swear? - Maybe why not? But, he may not swear with himself. Try to submit a person who swears with himself. Strange picture, right? And funny :)
To quarrel, you need at least one more person! As a rule, it often happens, this person turns out someone from the close environment: husband, wife, mother, sister, etc.
Thus, when the second person appears, misunderstanding and finding out the relationship - as if normal.
Someone may argue, bringing an example of people who do not swear "at all", but they are most likely just a few or are an exception to the rules. And who knows what happens to them inside? Sooner or later, these "quiet" or "exclusive" people take and show themselves if the "someone" lashes the stick in something important for them.
In general, there is good not much in what we swear, enter into disputes, but this is a process that is present in the life of everyone and from him, sometimes you can not get anywhere.
Question of disputes and swearing, in the following: Is the statement that truth is born in the dispute? Yes, if the truth is born, and if a series of other disputes and proceedings are born in the dispute? And how to make a dispute to productive if it is impossible to prevent?
We define immediately, under the dispute of two people we mean: the difference of points of view on one issue, the lack of a single common picture of the visions of situations where everyone wants to show the correctness of their part. The more differences between the arguing people, the stronger their emotional reactions that develop into Rugan. Thus, if you determine the dispute as a difference of points of view, then for the reconciliation of the parties you need to find a common thing in which both arguments will agree.
However, disputes and swearing may not only be a consequence of different views, as well as, knit due to the poor mood of one of the partners, feature of character, etc.
Let's try to withdraw some conditions "how to swear correctly":
1) Find a way not to swear - the best joint solution! If you can not swear, do not swear, spend this time productively!
2) When you are in a normal, usual mood, think about what is usually offended, because of what disagreements may occur more often (as it were, anticipate the events of thoughtful steps that will allow you to get away from conflicts in time), it is also desirable that you understood the side of your partner. Set the rules for communication in your family in advance, not at the moment when the dispute has already begun.
3) Find a separate place to figure out the relationship, do not do this in the bedroom or pleasant place for you, otherwise you will create a bad binding called in the psychology "anchor", to the place (then, when in good location you will be in this place, Conversable memories may emerge).
4) If it happened so that they decided to arrange a parsing of flights to their partner, do it alone, why do you have to listen and hear children, neighbors or someone else? If only you consciously do not create the image of the "Italian temperamental family".
5) If you feel that you are starting to lose control - emotions come out from under control (no matter, you are the initiator of communication or your partner) - leave for a couple of minutes to another room, then return a little cool. In the emotional rush to a sensible solution never come.
6) If the initiator of an unpleasant conversation is your partner (because of his bad mood, disagreement with you or character features), speak openly, for example: now I am not ready / ready for discussion, let's post the conversation, let's talk in two hours (during this time A person can cool and / or forget about the subject of the conversation). Speak about your feelings, if you hear something that you do not like. Take advantage of the appeal, such as, wrote A.S. Pushnik his wife: "What a fool you are, my angel." Those. If you can not stop in the expressions, soften them: "What are you inattentive, egoist, vanya"! Use different intonation of voice and facial expressions.
7) Communicate productive, specify what you do not understand. Do not speculate for the partner: what he meant, he might think. Speak short proposals and specifically, avoid ambiguity of answers and incomprehensively formulated desires when emotions are pours over the edge, you have little to hear you, the more blurred arguments. Ask, asking the question: "What do you want"?
Personal parable:
Walked knight in the desert. Long was his way. On the way, he lost her horse, helmet and armor. Only sword remained. The knight was hungry and he was tormented by thirst. Suddenly, he saw the lake. He collected all the remaining strength and went to the water. But the very shore was sitting three-headed dragon. The knight snatched the sword and began to fight the monster from the last strength. A day beat, the second beat. Two heads of the dragon cut off. On the third day, the dragon fell without his strength. A powerless knight fell nearby, no longer to stand on his feet and keep the sword. And then the dragon asked from the last forces:
Knight, and what did you want?
Drink water.
Well, I would drink ...
8) "love is the whole head." If people swear, quarrel, communication will be less painful if there is love. The presence of love does not exempt from misunderstanding or some difficulties. We are not all perfect, but if you have respect and love for a near person, the desire to understand him, interested in his opinion, you can find joint solutions. And then: "Truth is born in the dispute."
9) If the third person is planned in the dispute, then the third is always superfluous, leave such a dispute, risk: become a victim, the Savior or the Persecutor, where the "endless", an indifferent interpersonal game is launched through conflict roles.
P.S. Communicate correctly and love each other!
9 useful tips, how to swear correctly.
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The reception in which I will tell, was invented by the founder of programs for productive communication and communication, a psychologist Haim Ginott. Fifty years ago, this American scientist opened a simple formula of a constructive complaint:
- X - Cause;
- Y - emotions;
- Z - solution.
Imagine the situation.
The spouse was crumbling with his parents, and her husband did not support her in a difficult moment and went to meet with friends.
The phrase that a man could hear on return probably sounds like this: "You are a selfish and arrogant bastard and think only about yourself!"
The woman will be in their own way, but this approach will not lead to solving the problem. But how did the decision look like from the XYZ position:
When I had problems with my parents, you did not stay with me to support (x). At that moment I felt lonely and abandoned (Y). I would like the next time you immediately have supported me (z).
The scheme looks easy to use. But to get used to its use, you need to understand what you did not do it earlier and what you should work on now. For this we will analyze every element separately.
X. - Cause
Very often we rush accusations, not even explaining that exactly the reason for our anger. Many familiar comical female phrase "Think for yourself why I was offended." Moreover, oddly enough, how much I have to hear stories about misunderstanding in a relationship, women were the first to figure out what the root of the problem.
Nevertheless, most people who still express the cause of their discontent, often stop and believe that one state of fact is enough to solve the problem: "I said that I did not suit me, and she sacrows it."
It is here that the second paragraph should be joined.
Y. - Emotions
In my I casually mentioned a paradox of vulnerability. We need support, but we are afraid to talk about experienced feelings, because we do not want to be vulnerable. The bottom line is that these two concepts are inseparable from each other.
To get support and understanding from another person, you need to be absolutely sincere with him, let it initially you feel not in your plate. If this person is truly dear to you, you can say what feelings are experiencing, and not doubt that it will take them extremely carefully, because it is well aware of what this step cost you.
Exactly when we say what It was just felt because of what happened, the whole negative will come to no, because it will show how much you trust this person.
In a letter to his son, Yevgeny Leonov wrote: "Is there a person in your life, before which you are not afraid of being small, stupid, unarmed, in all the height of your revelation? This person is your defense! " Be prepared for openness when it comes to your feelings, if really configured to solve the problem. There can be no other exit.
After experienced emotions, the dust of the battle always subsides, but the problem may return again, and therefore it is necessary to consolidate your success in a simple way.
Z. - decision
So that the situation does not happen again, offer a decision that - and this is the most important thing - will satisfy you both. It is quite simple to talk about what you want, and much harder to make a compromise. Therefore, you need to prepare in advance for the fact that something will have to come true so that the problem is solved completely.
We are all different, everyone has their own history and luggage of the past behind his back. Even people who lived together for a very long time, can not always stand in place of another person, what to talk about those whose relationships just begin.
But it is very important to try. Find a solution together and immediately agree that both will be ready to make concessions. After all, it was not for nothing that you have done such work, right?
Finally
This simple approach to quarrels requires great practice, but if you bring it to automatism, help improve any relationship. The most important thing is to understand that it is impossible to get rid of the problems, but you can learn how to benefit from them.
The wise man said once:
Storms are useful for a person: a little will throat your soul, but will bring all the dirt.
Do not be afraid of storms, after them always comes clarity.
