Are you familiar with the situation when obsessive thoughts about the same person haunted all day? You wake up and already think about him, walk down the street and think, go to bed and think. You constantly scroll through dialogues with him in your head, enter into new ones, argue, try to convince him of something. And so day after day, it doesn't matter if you saw each other yesterday or a year ago. And then the main question arises: "Am I thinking about him, or is he thinking about me?"
What is thought
Many already know that thought is material. Smart people say, "Think before you say it." And wise people strongly advise think before thinking.
Thought (mental image, thought form) is a clot of psychic energy containing information. Having a certain vibration frequency, it can take shape, size, color, smell.
The question of how thoughts arise has been of interest to many scientists for a long time. In the middle of the 19th century, the German physiologist Buchner believed that the brain generates thought, like the liver bile. By the end of the 19th century, opinion had changed, scientists came to the conclusion that no one can tell how the brain generates thoughts. This opinion is shared by today's psychology, adding that the mental does not live in the brain, it is projected onto the outside world.
Thinking about someone, we create a mental image, project it into the outside world and send it to the addressee. The mental image, carrying a certain energy charge, invades the energy body (aura) of the recipient. If a person thinks about someone for a long time, a communication channel is formed between him and the addressee, through which energy is exchanged.
If this is a relationship between two loving people, then an even redistribution of energies occurs. For example, a woman feeds a man with her internal energy, and a man compensates for her expended energy with material benefits. No wonder they say that behind every successful man there is a loving woman.
But if the relationship is one-sided or based on feelings of resentment, anger, guilt, and so on, then there is a loss of your psychic energy, the most valuable resource on Earth. If you think that the most valuable resource is oil :), you are mistaken, it is psychic energy that is the basis for the materialization of any things and only man possesses it... Sometimes a person does not even control how he spends this priceless gift. Various addictions such as smoking, alcohol, gambling addiction; painful attachment to another person; membership in egregors - everything is based on energy exchange.
Protection from intrusive thoughts
I didn’t use many techniques to escape from obsessive thoughts: meditated - imagined that I was letting him go, asked me not to come to me; mentally she covered herself with multi-colored caps, trying to create an obstacle on the path of his thought forms; with an effort of will I tried to stop the flow of thoughts.
Do you think it helped? Whatever it is.
In the end, I came to the conclusion that the best temporary defense against obsessive thoughts is not to resist them. I just allowed thoughts to come, but the main thing is not to enter into dialogue with them. Then they, like the clouds in the sky, will begin to float by. Undoubtedly, this technique also requires concentration, but the energy costs are much less than tireless "conversation" with a mental image or conscious resistance to obsessive thoughts.
Intellectual work also helps, in this case, the brain switches to another task, and obsessive thoughts cease to bother for a while.
Unfortunately, these are only temporary techniques, and if you seriously decided to deal with obsessive thoughts, then you need to "go inside yourself", as I would say. If someone steals energy from you, then you are allowed to do so. It may be that you could not fully understand, and the image of a partner continues to haunt you, or a relationship that is colored by feelings of resentment, a desire to remake another, anger that everything is not the way I want, or you use obsessive thoughts as leaving from real life circumstances. In any case, the reason is in you, and until you consciously begin to control your psychic energy, you are someone's energy donor, and your life will be spent on other people's successes and achievements.
P.S.
But, just in case, I would ask the Stars by asking.
Maybe your friend has been secretly in love with you for a long time. So he thinks about the subject of his passion all day and night. Well, what a demand from a man in love! Even psychiatrists do not treat the diagnosis "love", they wave their hand and say: "It will pass by itself." 🙂
Why horary question- one of the most proven and ancient ways to understand a love relationship can be read, but we read how to ask a horary question correctly.
Let your beloved man think about you all day and night!
CONTINUED article from September 21, 2018: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Q00rMA4CQk... After watching the video, you will find answers to the following questions: How do you know if a man thinks of you? Can you feel other people's thoughts? How to check what exactly he thinks about you, and not you about him?
It often happens that being in a relationship with a man, you understand that there is no past romance, awe. All this is mixed with thoughts of a completely different man. Does this mean that you no longer love your man?
- To begin with, it is worth determining do you think about a specific man, or is it just an image that takes thought? You may be imagining a stranger who attracts the eye. Such thoughts are visited by a large number of women. There is nothing scary and threatening in this. your relationship with your loved one.
- But another option is quite possible - thoughts about a very specific person- a neighbor at the entrance, a colleague from work. The main thing in this situation is not to feel guilty. Perhaps in your relationship with a man, something went wrong, began to go differently than before. Try to figure out what it could be. There is a lot you will understand after working on solving this problem.
- It is likely that the relationship with your man just moved on to the next stage... Otherwise, any relationship must develop, they cannot stand still. Of course, those old looks, from which goose bumps used to run, may not be enough. There is no trepidation waiting for a call from him. But that's ok and that's doesn’t mean at all that you don’t love anymore... It's just that your relationship has become more serious, stable and calm. This is not bad.
- Try to talk to your loved one and say that you miss romance or sensuality. It is likely that after this, your thoughts about the other will fade away.
- Another option why it could happen that your thoughts are about something else, uh then if you wanted new sensations. After all, you have studied your man up and down. It has become predictable, and that is why it seems uninteresting. But new sensations are possible with an old partner. It's enough just to change the environment... Depending on your preferences and financial capabilities, you can go to rest - to any resort, to the village, to admire the virgin nature, or to a camping trip with tents. It's up to you to choose.
- M thoughts about another man can occur if you are in a quarrel with your man. Of course, when a quarrel happened, for example, because he does not pay you any attention, and you saw a neighbor walking arm in arm with his wife on the street, you can start thinking of your neighbor as a wonderful man. But before your thoughts grow into something more, try discussing the fight with your man. Do not fight with him. And don't use anyone as an example. Just explain what exactly you would like to receive from him. Perhaps this will solve the problem!
And finally ask yourself a few questions that will help you compare two men - the one you are in a relationship with and the one you are thinking of.
- Which one do I want to spend my whole life with?
- Who would I like to meet old age with?
- From whom, of them, would I like to give birth to children, and then raise them together?
- What exactly keeps me in my relationship with my man?
- Why haven't I gone to the man I'm thinking of yet?
- What happens if one of these men disappears from my life forever?
When you are in a calm atmosphere and absolutely honestly answer these questions to yourself, you will understand who you really love.
Love and be loved!
Especially forLadySpecial.ru - Vitalina
Hello!
We lived with my ex-husband for 13 years. Our marriage was the second for both of us. Already burned by the first failure, we approached the choice of a life partner with some calculation. Not material, but rather mental. We looked at the values in life, at the family, at the man-woman relationship in the same way. We did not have such a crazy love, from which it blows away. There was warmth and mutual respect. We had two very desirable children. We started our own small business to provide them. But gradually they began to move away from each other. At first I tried to stop this process, but my husband did not go into a frank conversation on this topic, and I closed in on myself. Only children began to connect us. And two years ago I got sick and could not go on vacation with him. And there he met a woman 10 years younger than me. And I fell in love. I just lost my head like a boy. He came and immediately said that he wanted to be only with her. I saw that he was literally not himself and understood that life was crumbling. But she could not stop him. He dropped everything, filed for divorce and left. I was very upset by the breakup, I was sick for a long time. But I had to continue working in business to provide for the children. He could not help, since he lived with her in a foreign country as an illegal. It turned out to be more difficult to legalize there than he thought. Then he had to come to make some documents for legalization. The children were very happy about his arrival. He stayed with us for over a month and again went to her. But he returned very quickly. He said that he could not get a job there and asked for my help so that I could help him return to his old profession. He was a merchant seaman. I helped him to draw up documents, to restore old connections. As a result, he managed to return to sea, received a contract for 4 months. While everything was being arranged, he lived with us, helped me manage the house and took care of the children. After returning from the flight, he promised to call in to check on us before going to her. He said that he wanted us to remain friends and that he had no friend closer to me. While he was at sea, I wrote him letters about children, about his mother (I look after her), about our mutual friends. I somehow calmed down, resigned myself to our parting, internally let go, although I understood that I continued to love.
And after the flight, he arrived and said that he wanted to return to his family. She left him and he has no one dearer than us. He asked me to help him get through all this, said that he understood that he loved me, but in a different way, not like her. He said that he had never met a woman better than me. And I could not resist, accepted him, broke up with the man who loves me.
Now we seem to be together, but I'm getting worse and worse. I understand that he is with me because she left him, and not because I am more needed than she. It hurts in me all the time. We seem to have a warm relationship, he takes care of me, we have good sex, and he is gentle with me. But I can see a tear welling up at the sound of a love song. She is with him all the time. And that means - between us.
I'm tired of this pain. I tell him about this, and he tells me to be patient, that everything will pass, and he will forget her.
But the further, the more it seems to me that I made a mistake. That I cannot live with a person for whom I am not the only one, not the one without whom one cannot live.
He says he loves me, but he loves her too. And I think all the time that if he had the opportunity to be with her, he would not be with me. And it's increasingly difficult for me to put up with such a role in a relationship.
I'm completely confused. I love him and do not want to lose again. And the children are insanely happy that he is with us again. He is a wonderful and loving father. And I see that he needs us.
But I don’t know how I myself can live in such a relationship.
Inga, Ventspils, Latvia., 46 years old
Family psychologist's answer:
Hello Inga.
Indeed, everything is very difficult. But let's try to figure it out. In general, your marriage has gone through normal stages. And even in your favor the fact that the relationship began not on the basis of insane passion, but on the basis of respect, sympathy, common sense and a sober assessment of everyone's values. Are you wrong about that? Definitely not. You really turned out to be close-minded people, with common values, gave birth to and are raising two desired and consciously brought into this world (in our time this is not so common!) Children, you were able to build a common cause, you respected each other and were able to raise a common feeling of love. Yes, it was love, and it is, I think. And what "blows the roof off" is falling in love, passion, the lifespan of which is a maximum of 3 years, and some psychologists believe that even less. But only if there is love, it would be possible to bring a component of passion into the family. But rarely does anyone know how to do it consciously. And so it turns out that people, not finding thrills, move away, begin to be burdened by routine, suffer from a lack of emotions ... And often it is on this soil that a new love comes, which is perceived against the background of emotional deficit as "love from a capital letter". In fact, such unions are usually not viable. Yes, in general, and in your case it happened with your husband. It doesn't matter if she dumped him or not - in fact, he does not yearn for her. And according to your DREAM. In the dream of strong emotions and crazy love. Your husband is also, presumably, over 40, and the extinction of some functions, which is not yet fatal, but still reminds us that youth is not eternal, makes itself felt. And that "jerk for emotions" could partly be caused by the fact that it seemed to him that in marriage with you he was emotionally deprived of something. Apparently, he needed emotions stronger than you. And when he realized that his "love" was unlikely to survive, he left himself just longing for experiencing this feeling and called it "love for her, which he still has." But in fact, what he built with you is his only true love. It remains only so that he himself can understand and voice it. Read the book "Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman, an excerpt from it is on my site in the "stories" section ("falling in love and love: spot the difference"). I think with the help of this text you will be able to formulate for your husband (first of all, he needs to realize this!) What is the difference between being in love and love. And secondly, after reading the entire book in its entirety, you will be able to understand what exactly you have not given to each other, and you will still be able to do it. Passion can be created in a relationship. By filling the emotional vessel of the other. And this can be done at any age, it would be the desire of partners. And it still exists. And this moment should not be missed. If you go this way, after a month or two he will begin to forget about her and realize to the end who is the only one in his life.
Respectfully yours, Anton Mikhailovich Nesvitsky.
“My husband loves another, but lives with me” - often on the forums you can find such a headline in which a woman asks for help with advice in a similar situation.
And how harshly we can sometimes think or speak out about this, without assuming that this can happen to everyone.
But in fact, this development of events baffles every woman. What to do if a loved one has another?
Assessment of the situation
What should be taken from what happened is that this is not just betrayal in order to diversify the routine life if a man falls in love with another woman.
That is why the lawful wife should be especially careful in this case.
First of all, you need to try with different eyes to consider everything that happened, to identify possible causes.
Why doesn't he leave?
What if the husband said that he loves another, but at the same time he is not going to leave at all?
It is worth considering the reasons why usually a man is not going to leave the family, in more detail:
- Children... If they are still small, then, of course, he will want to participate in their upbringing. But if they are big, then he may just want to avoid condemnation, remaining in their eyes the same exemplary father.
- Relatives... Women often argue that their family is considered exemplary and if it breaks up, then "what will the family say?" Husbands feel the same way, fearing that they will be turned away from them, standing up to protect their lawful wife, as the most affected party.
- Convenience of life... No matter how cynical it may sound, it really is. At home, life is adjusted, dinner is cooked, the wife takes care of him: ironing shirts, cleaning, washing clothes. And at the same time, the husband loves the other, with her he takes a break from work and routine. Often it is this state of affairs that suits a man completely. Is your wife ready to put up with it? Only she herself can answer this question.
- Material wealth. The fear of losing what they have acquired also drives men. Either he or his wife can support the family. And if everything is clear with the second case, then, you ask, why should a man be afraid for his wealth in the first case? But in case of a divorce, he will have to part with many things. And this happens a lot.
- The hobby is not serious... Despite the recognition of his wife's love for another woman, it may happen that, on a subconscious level, a man realizes that his infatuation is not serious, and the love will soon pass. In this case, he does not want to lose his family, expecting to break the connection soon.
How to get your husband back?
If you have the strength to forgive and accept, then you should endure and try to take different ways.
At the same time, it is important to avoid quarrels, issuing ultimatums, threats, demands to immediately abandon the lover, said in a categorical tone.
Remember the immortal painting "Love and Doves" in which a similar classic triangle is considered. What attracted a married man to his mistress first of all?
Unusual character, beauty, intelligence and precisely the dissimilarity of that other woman to a wife who is not only simple, but has also been thoroughly studied over the years of living together.
However, his own family is appreciated by every man, which means that he will return.
To this can be added the statistics, according to which 90% of husbands again return to their legal and natural wife.
But in this situation, it is you who should decide what is supposed to be done - to keep the family or to let the husband go.
Not only eminent psychologists, but also life experience speaks about the fact that only a woman decides such issues.
Assessing your chances
“He loves another” - these words sound not only bitter, but also usually cause disappointing damage to women's pride.
Self-esteem in many cases drops dramatically and hands give up on their own. Indeed, in addition to work and at home, the wife is responsible for taking care of the children and the husband himself, in many cases there is not enough time for herself.
But if love is still there and it is supplemented by the desire to return the husband to the family, then the changes must begin with oneself.
What should be changed?
- Appearance... Cardinally. It is worth trying on a new image, dyeing your hair in a new shade, losing weight. Beforehand, of course, you need to consult with a stylist-hairdresser, or try to independently assess whether the new style will suit you. The main rule is not to get too ridiculous in trying to look good. If a woman is aged, then it is better to emphasize the elegance with outfits, appropriate care and haircut. This look will be luxurious. And it is better for young girls to change their style, to take better care of themselves.
- Character... Yes, it’s worth changing! But “breaking” oneself through force and in the direction of accepting the situation as it is is not at all possible! On the contrary, you need to seem strong-willed, try to remove the notes of hysteria and scandalism, if any, be more balanced.
- Find a hobby... It will allow you to distract yourself from the situation for a long time. Believe me, in a difficult situation, after infidelity, and even being practically on the verge of divorce, a woman simply needs an outlet. As an activity, you can choose whatever you like. Scrapbooking, origami, embroidery, sand painting and more. By focusing on creating them, distracted from the situation, you can soon feel full of energy and rested. It is very important.
- Engage in self-development... Sign up for dances, read, go to trainings, learn languages - do everything that you once could not do due to lack of time. Reduce household chores to the maximum, and spend the free time on yourself, walking with children, having fun with them, taking care of yourself. In this way, make it clear to your husband that you can all cope without him. In addition, the long absence of the wife's home can cause jealousy even in a man who considers himself in love with another woman. After all, how can it be that his wife could please someone else?
- The last fact follows from the previous one. Get yourself a fan... If this is unacceptable for you, then just dress in such a way as to please other men. Jealousy, it is worth repeating, is considered one of the most reliable ways to win back your husband's interest. He will soon be able to completely forget about the other woman, again and again trying to conquer his wife.
Believe me, all beneficial changes will become noticeable not only to you, and your efforts will not be in vain.
Having felt the whole taste of life and again becoming fragrant, smiling, you will again become the woman whom your husband once fell in love with.
In addition, provide him with care, but not too visible. Prepare delicious meals, give him unobtrusive and, most importantly, sincere compliments.
After all, make him feel like a man. Not only women are capable of "love with their ears."
Feeling his need, indispensability, realizing that he is needed here more than in another, strange family, he will soon be able to understand that feelings for another woman were only a second passion.
Can't be pardoned
If the husband loves another, but does not leave, then for the wife such a situation is several times more painful.
Firstly, serious torment begins, the search for reasons, and secondly, the woman is in constant stress that the man is about to get bored and he will leave her.
It can be difficult to accept infidelity, but such a development of events in which the husband does not make the final choice is much more difficult.
In this case, the wife will know about the other woman and will have to accept her morally. Most often, this is tolerated for the sake of children, wealth, or simply for fear of being judged by relatives.
But if there is no more love and you don't want to accept the humiliating development of events, then there is only one way out - to quit, without looking back at the opinion of outsiders.
Such a decision should be made if only you want freedom, there is no desire to endure the situation, betrayal, the attitude of a man.
The YouTube ID of KoT3rebvcWU & list is invalid.
Decide everything yourself, pack your bags and put the unfaithful hubby out the door. Take care of yourself and your happiness will soon find you.
The main thing is not to dwell on your experiences for a long time. As soon as you say goodbye to the past, new events will already be ready to enter your life, filling it with new meaning.
Good day to all))) I have a difficult life situation in which I myself cannot figure it out, because emotions overwhelm and interfere with thinking.
I will try to tell everything from the very beginning and as briefly as possible, without tiring the reader:
My husband and I met 8 years ago. He was kind, helpful and very humble. A year later we got married and after another 1.5 g. our son was born. Everything was like everyone else's ... Home, work, family, love, quarrels, reconciliation, love again ... Then I noticed that my husband, coming home from work, goes into himself, is silent, sits down at the computer and EVERYTHING !!! This alarmed me, and for a long time I tried to find out what was going on. He just brushed it off, explaining all this by fatigue and problems at work. But then he did tell ... all this time he was tormented by the memories of his first love. He often recalled and played in his head how, in his youth, he loved the girl and was afraid (because of his modesty) to approach her, to tell her about his feelings. He was tormented by the fact that he began to experience these feelings again ... in memories ... and believed that this was not fair to me. He found her in social media. networks, watched her photo, even showed me ... It's hard to convey what I felt at that moment))) And jealousy (I wanted him to love me, and not someone, even virtual), and anger ( that he had deceived and had not told me before) and resentment, but on the other hand, I understood that he was living with me, he married me ... I listened to everything that he told me and all this haunted me for a long time. Then everything calmed down, I let it go, forgot and did not want to remember, and he, too, began to live as before. 3 years have passed. Everything was fine...
BUT ... Yesterday everything started in a new circle. Looking at night, he first casually mentioned her. I didn't attach any importance. Then, he said that we need to talk about her again, SERIOUSLY. I wanted him to tell everything now, but he said that we will discuss everything later, when I am ready for this and he will not be so tired. GOD!!! What else should I know? What's going on? How long will SHE appear in our lives? How to react to everything that happens? Why SHE, even as a memory, is brighter than OUR life? I don't want to lose my husband, even mentally, even virtually. I couldn't sleep for half the night, thinking how I should behave in this situation. And I wanted, to be honest, to wake him up and beat him in the head with a frying pan, until the brains fall into place and until SHE jumped out of my head.))) But in fact, I know if I give free rein to emotions and I will express everything, my husband will never tell me about his experiences. But I do not want. so that there would be misunderstandings between us. Thanks to everyone who read it. I cannot tell this to anyone (neither my friends, let alone my mother). There is no one to ask for advice, respectively. I hope for you)))
