Why is the child naughty. Why is the child naughty in the evening, in the evenings Baby is naughty all the time

Kelly Boniata, BSc, IBCLC (about the author).

Quite often, newborns behave restlessly and constantly suckle in the evenings, especially in the first months of life.

My daughter, for several months, was capricious almost every evening (fortunately, this really goes away!). I spent whole weeks sitting on the couch, while the baby was constantly feeding and / or anxious in my arms. This was repeated every day from 6 to 10 pm.

But my son and I could not afford such a luxury as sitting on the couch. At this time of day, Alex was unhappy and cried if I did not carry it in a pole on my arms (and sometimes it only calmed him a little). It used to be that he was very restless himselfledand in the afternoon. He rarely calmed down on his chest (unlike my daughter), so, to my regret, I usually could not use this method (although I always tried it). His concern was so pronounced that I began to look for other possible causes (for example,sensitivity to certain types of food ). But we did not manage to determine the cause of the problem, and the rest of the day he was calm and beamingly smiling. Evening moods gradually began to subside at the age of 3-4 months (which is normal), but the first months were very difficult for us. Now I am often asked: "Is he always so cheerful with you?" So remember: this difficult period will also pass ...

Periods very frequent, or almost continuous, prolonged feedings(in English "cluster feedings, bunch feedings") - these are periods when the child practically does not take breaks between the next and the previous feeding at a certain time of the day, that is, he sucks almost constantly, and at other times of the day he may require breast much less often. This is a fairly common occurrence, and it usually happens in the evenings. Often (but not always) this period is followed by prolonged sleep, it may even be longer than usual. The kid needs to "refuel" tightly before getting a good sleep. For example, your child may suckle every hour (or even suck continuously) between 6 and 10 pm to fall asleep for a long time, and possibly sleep peacefully all night.

These feedings often coincide with periods of anxiety in babies... The baby sucks for a few minutes, drops the breast, worries, cries, sucks again for a while, then drops and cries again ... and so on and on ... for several hours. All this can be STRONGLY exhausting, and the mother begins to ask herself if the baby has enough milk, or what did she eat wrong, or maybe it seems to her that EVERYTHING she does is wrong and the child does not like ... All this can significantly shake your self-confidence, especially if someone close to you asks you the same questions (your mother, your husband, mother-in-law).

But this behavior is NORMAL! It has nothing to do with milk or your childcare. If your baby is happy for the rest of the day, if you don't feel like he is in pain (like with colic), just keep trying to calm him down and don't berate yourself that you are the reason for this behavior. Let your baby hang on your chest for as long as he wants and as often as he wants. Ask your dad (or another helper) to bring you food and supplies (book, remote control, phone, etc.) while you feed and carry your baby.

Does this behavior mean that the baby needs more milk than I can give him?

No. Don't give your baby a bottle - supplementation will simply tell your body that you need LESS milk today, and this will not solve the problem. Also keep in mind that artificial babies also behave restlessly in the evenings - this behavior is typical for all newborns, regardless of the type of feeding. The Academy of Breastfeeding Medicine explains this situation in its own way:

There are typical clinical situations where assessment of the situation and assistance in organizing breastfeeding may be needed, but supplementation is NOT RECOMMENDED, including [in the following situation: - approx. Transl.] ... The child is restless in the evenings or continuously suckles breasts for hours.

Why do babies behave anxiously in the evenings?

One popular explanation for this behavior is that milk supply decreases slightly towards evening due to the natural daily hormonal cycle. However, Dr. Peter Hartmann, who has done a lot of breastfeeding research, says that the women he studied had milk quantities. not was low during this period of the day. Even if the milk volume decreases in the evening, the fat content usually rises in the evening (especially if the baby himself controls latching, that is, when feeding it as needed), as a result, the number of calories that the baby receives should not be very different. Milk in the evenings maybe shedding more slowly, which may be frustrating for some babies.

Doctors often associate evening moods with the immaturity of the child's nervous system (after all, this behavior disappears when the child grows up, usually by 3-4 months). However, Dr.Katherine Dettweiler (who has conducted research on breastfeeding in traditional communities across nations) argues that, for example, tribal children in Mali (West Africa) and other traditional societies do not experience colic and anxiety in the afternoons and evenings. ... These babies are worn all day and are usually breastfed several times an hour.

Thus, it is likely that none of the explanations presented provides a complete answer to the question of evening whims. It seems that many children, by this behavior, express the need for frequent attachments, when they can receive milk in small portions, as well as for movement and for being held a lot in their arms and pressed to themselves. Babies who are given expressed milk or bottle formula as much as they can eat (note: bottle feeding reduces your milk production!) Often behave the same way in the evenings. The baby sucks out some of the expressed milk (or formula) and falls into a shallow sleep (and worries), then drinks a little more, and so on. Perhaps the children "remember" that during pregnancy the mother was very active during these hours, and they want to be worn again, rocked, and fed continuously.

Perhaps babies just need to be breastfed more often at this time - and not to eat more milk.

How to calm your child during “hectic” hours

• Carry your baby in a sling or other carrier. This frees up one or both hands for other activities (cooking dinner, caring for other children) while you carry, comfort, and feed your baby.
• Take a break from your routine... Let Dad spend time with the baby while Mom takes a shower or just rests and wakes up after a long day.
• Go outside... Take a walk, this will help you and your baby relax; or you can just sit outside and enjoy the fresh air. Try to do this a little earlier than your little one's usual “hectic” times.
• Comfort with sounds... Sing, hum, purr, whisper, listen to music, or use white noise. Try different sounds, styles of music and singers with different types of voices.
• Comfort with rhythmic movements... Walk, swing, jump, dance, you can even try to ride a car.
• Comfort with touch... Carry the baby in your arms, or bathe him, give him a gentle massage
• Remove irritants... Dim the lights, reduce the noise, swaddle the baby.
• Vary your feeding positions. Try to feed while lying on your side, lying on your back with your baby to suckle, lying belly to belly, etc.
• Feed on the move(while you rock it, lull it, walk, etc.)
• Combine rhythmic movements and soothing sounds.
• Avoidfeeding according to the regimen especially during hectic evening hours

@ KellyMom website

• My baby is fussy! Is something wrong? What is normal, reasons for fussing, and comfort measures for baby.
• My baby is gassy. Is this caused by something in my diet?
• The distractible baby
• Is your baby nursing all the time?

@ other sites

• Fussy babies - is it the arsenic hour? from the Australian Breastfeeding Association
• Cluster Feeding by Lisa Hassan Scott, from the September 2014 Breastfeeding Today
• Infant fussiness from Mother-2-Mother.com
• The Pitfalls of Supplementing a Breastfed Baby by Cheryl Taylor White

Many babies become very moody in the evening, cry more often than during the day and demand breast. What is the reason for this?

Baby in daddy's arms (photo by Fotolia)

The nervous system of the child

In children under 3 months of age, this behavior is expected. And most likely, the problem is not in mom's milk. The fact is that the nervous system of babies in the first 3 months of life is very vulnerable and easily overloaded. Many mothers of babies note that towards evening the babies become more and more "tame", more and more often they want to suck on their mother's breasts, it is better for them not to let her go at all.

Children are naughty if they are trying to put them to sleep separately from their mother. And this is understandable: in contrast to intrauterine experience, the external world is very diverse, and all the impressions that surround the child, by evening, tire, overload the child's psyche.

Sleeping and breastfeeding together

The child wants to return to a state where it is comfortable and calm. And such a place for the baby is mother's hands and breast sucking. What to do? While indulging the needs of the baby. Usually, after 3 months, the child's nervous system becomes more mature and the child ceases to need his mother so badly.
Of course, with such a "hanging" on the breast, the mother may feel that the breast becomes completely soft, and someone even says that. This is a normal situation. The breast still works on the demand-supply principle, and the next day there will be as much milk as the baby needs. The main guideline for you is weekly weight gain: if a fully breastfed baby gains from 125 g per week, then you are on the right track!

Night breastfeeding of a baby after a year

The quality of milk does not deteriorate with the age of the child, there are studies that suggest the opposite: there are more immunoglobulins, milk becomes even more fatty, the amount of trace elements and vitamins remains the same. Therefore, from the point of view of the benefits of breastfeeding a child after a year, this is only a plus. If breastfeeding your baby after a year is not a burden for you, continue to breastfeed. ? There are 2 options: leave everything as it is and wait for the baby to grow out of breastfeeding on its own. Or, if you are ready for more effective methods, gradually round off, try not to breastfeed at night. When you see that the child has coped well with this and does not wake up for night feeds himself, teach the child to fall asleep without breast.

Baby in the crib next to mom (photo: Fotolia)

There are many reasons why a child can be capricious. In each case, it is necessary to deal with the problem in order to avoid severe consequences in behavioral, psychological and physical development. Adverse factors that can lead to whims include improper upbringing, health problems, a bad climate in the family, as well as age-related changes.

The appearance of a child in a family is a great joy. Parents have new chores and new responsibilities. If the baby is naughty and crying, then the state completely unsettles the parents. The first months after birth, crying in most cases is caused by imperfections in the nervous and digestive systems. By the age of three months, causeless crying has passed, and the parents already recognize the reason.

Whims in the evening and at night

When the baby cannot fall asleep in the evenings, and the parents know for sure that he is full, does not bother with gas, then the reason is associated with overexcitation. The baby is hysterical and falls asleep only closer to midnight. Perhaps, during the day we walked a lot, there was a meeting with new people. Having shouted enough, the child falls asleep. Some children need to be rocked in their arms.

Causes of whims and methods of dealing with them

If the reason for the whims is associated with illness, then you need to call a doctor at home. He will prescribe the correct treatment. No medication can be given on your own. The rest of the reason is easily eliminated. It is required to either change the wet diaper, feed it with milk, put it to bed or give it a drink.

Physiological imbalance

In infancy, the child still cannot explain his desires and is not fully aware of his feelings. The result is a physiological imbalance. The kid begins to cry, to be capricious because of hunger, thirst, illness, poor sleep.

Wrong sleep patterns

The lack of a constant regime becomes the cause of violations in the behavior of the child. Therefore, parents should make adjustments to their daily routine:

• A newborn baby sleeps up to 18 hours a day. The duration of nighttime and daytime sleep does not exceed 3-4 hours. The waking time should not exceed two hours. If this time is missed, it will be difficult for the baby to go to bed. During nighttime awakenings, you do not need to turn on the light, play or talk for a long time with the baby.
• By three months, the duration of sleep decreases to 14-15 hours. During the day, the baby should go to bed twice. If he does not sleep during the day, or the duration of sleep is no more than 35 minutes, you need to seek the advice of a doctor.
• If the baby sleeps a little at night, then the reason may be due to dry air in the room, uncomfortable clothes, bright daytime emotions. A baby can sleep poorly due to a cold, teething.

When the child wants to sleep, he yawns and rubs his eyes with his fists. If the parents notice that the child wants to sleep, but does not fall asleep, you need to help him. You can do a massage, rock the arms, sing a lullaby.

Thirst

From the very birth, the child should be given regular water to drink, especially if he is feeding with formula. If the room is hot and dry air, then the amount of liquid should be increased.

Hunger

You can understand that the baby is naughty because of hunger by the following signs:

• crying appears immediately after feeding;
• whims after a short period of time after the next portion of milk;
• daytime sleep became short;
• eagerly begins to suck on a breast or a bottle.

If other signs appear, then the reason may be related to other factors.

Family microclimate

A child is negatively affected by a bad family atmosphere. Quarrels and conflicts between parents lead to tantrums and bad behavior.

Parents need to sort things out when the child is not in the room. It is necessary to educate him in love, calmness, affection and understanding.

Excessive custody and spoiledness

It is not worth doing everything for the baby from the very infancy. You should give him the opportunity to act independently in some situations. Excessive attentiveness, frequent gifts, the desire to save the baby from trouble negatively affect his behavioral sphere. The kid gets used to achieving everything with tears and tantrums.

Age-related changes

As the child grows up, several crisis periods are distinguished. During the crisis stages, changes occur in the psychological and physiological state. At this time, the child is a lot capricious, wants to do the opposite, in defiance of his parents, wants to declare his adulthood.

Medical causes of sleep disorders

Medical reasons for sleep disorders in children include:

• neurological diseases (neuroses, hyperactivity);
• somatic disorders (rickets, liver or kidney pathology).

In all these cases, the help of specialists is needed. In most cases, medication is not complete.

Other reasons

The task of the parents is to clarify the reason for the whims and crying of the baby as early as possible. Sometimes the condition is indicative of a disease. In the latter case, other symptoms appear (rash on the body, fever, cough, change in stool).

Colic in a newborn

The accumulation of gas in the intestines is accompanied by a sharp, unpleasant pain, so the baby begins to cry. The phenomenon worries most of all in the first months of life. Additional symptoms are:

• the baby is pushing;
• pulls his legs and presses them to the tummy;
• clenches his fingers into a fist;
• blushes.

If the baby is breastfed, then colic often appears from the foods that the mother ate. A breastfeeding woman should strictly monitor her diet and not eat prohibited foods.

Crying after vaccination

Many children experience behavioral changes and worsening after vaccination. After being vaccinated against hepatitis B, the child feels unwell, dizzy and has a headache, he may feel sick, his body temperature rises, and digestive upset occurs. The trip to the hospital and the injection itself are stressful for the baby. In response to all these phenomena, the baby becomes capricious, screams and cries, does not sleep well and eats. Therefore, doctors recommend giving antipyretic, anti-inflammatory, pain relievers in the first days after vaccination.

After the DPT vaccination, the body temperature rises, the work of the digestive organs is disrupted, and a cough and a runny nose may appear. Often the development of allergic manifestations.

On the day of vaccination, the child should be given a remedy for fever and pain, as well as for allergies. These days, it is recommended to apply the baby to the breast as often as possible. BCG vaccination is accompanied by unpleasant symptoms, against which the baby becomes moody and whiny. Sleep is disturbed, and appetite disappears.

On vaccination days, you need to pay as much attention to the child as possible. Young children do not understand the reason for their poor health, so the task of parents is to give medicine and provide a calm atmosphere.

Change of weather

Experts say that weather events negatively affect the condition of some children from birth. Badly affects:

• a sharp change in temperature;
• increase in atmospheric pressure;
• wind;
• high air humidity;
• magnetic storms.

The most affected by the weather are children born prematurely, who have recently undergone surgery, as well as those who have problems with the work of internal organs.

A few days before the weather changes, the baby changes in behavior. He can be capricious all day, sleep is disturbed, appetite decreases. Parents should inform their doctor about this. As a preventive measure, massage, physiotherapy, acupuncture, exercise therapy can be prescribed.

How are moods manifested depending on age?

It is important for parents to take into account age-related changes and crisis stages in the upbringing process. Only in this case it is possible to avoid conflicts with the child and prevent the appearance of whims.

Babies

Children under one year old require special attention. Whims and crying can indicate discomfort and illness, so behavior cannot be ignored. Why are babies naughty at 1 month old? A month-old baby is naughty and crying due to hunger, fever, wet diapers. Once the discomfort is eliminated, the baby becomes calm and cheerful. At 2 months, the baby cries because of discomfort (wet diaper, uncomfortable clothes, hot air, change in weather), lack of attention and communication, from fatigue or pain.

All of these reasons can cause anxiety in the behavior of a 4 and 5 month old baby. Teething is an additional factor. At 8 months, the child begins to actively learn about the world around him. The emergence of new people, prohibitions, the wrong daily routine, little attention - all this negatively affects the behavioral sphere of the baby.

The kid is naughty before bedtime

If a two-month-old baby is periodically naughty before bedtime, the reasons may be associated with vivid emotions and pain. Emotional overload. Not only negative, but also positive emotions excite the baby's nervous system. Two hours before bedtime, active games, watching TV should be excluded. It is useful to bathe your baby in water, listen to calm music, read a book. The same reason can lead to changes in the behavior of a child over 6 months of age.

Wrong daily routine. From the age of 3 months, a baby should be taught to get up and go to bed at the same time. You need to start accustoming yourself, as it will be more difficult to do it closer to 7 months. Parents sound the alarm when the baby suddenly became capricious during motion sickness. This usually happens to babies over the age of 10 months. Grown up babies no longer need motion sickness before going to bed, they just need to be put in a crib.

During feeding

When the baby cries and whines during feeding, the condition may indicate a disease (otitis media, stomatitis, sore throat).

If your baby is crying and naughty at the breast, there may be a lack of milk, a strong milk flow, or an unpleasant milk taste.

Whims in one year

At 1.5 years old, whims and crying appear in response to prohibitions and refusals. Parents need to be consistent and consistent in their requirements.

Two years

Children are already aware of what is allowed and what is not. It is easier for them to explain the reason for the ban. In case of whims, the child's attention can be easily switched to another object or event.

Crisis of three years

By the age of three, the social circle is expanding. At this age, many children are sent to kindergarten. Conflicts between peers and parents often cause moods and tantrums.

How to calm a baby?

How to deal with whims? The following tips will help:

• take it in your arms and press it to your stomach;
• do a massage;
• to distract attention with a ringing bright object, a loud voice;
• turn on a pleasant melody;
• a change of hands helps, for example, the baby can be given to grandmother or dad;
• distracted by toys, mobiles.

What if the baby is crying? A walk on the street will help. How to respond to a child's bad behavior? You cannot raise your voice in response to whims and crying. You should remain calm and try to switch the baby's attention.

Prevention of capricious behavior in children

How to wean a child from whims? Psychologists advise to be guided by some rules:

• There is no need to suppress the independence of the child and perform simple actions for him (buttoning a jacket, cleaning toys).
• It is important to control your emotions in response to your baby's tantrum. You need to be calm, restrained, in no case should you shout back. Better to ignore the whim and then calmly explain the behavior.
• You should not use blackmail tactics in education. For example: "If you don't put your toys away, you won't go for a walk." This behavior provokes a response at an older age: "If you scold for poor grades, I will not come home."
• It is important to be consistent and correct in the chosen tactics of behavior. You cannot solve the problem today in one way, and tomorrow in another. If a decision was made to refuse something, then this should become the rule.

You should not blame the kid for bad behavior. You need to explain to him that the act upset him, but this is not a reason not to love him.

When you need specialist help

If the child is often naughty for no reason, it is worth contacting a specialist. Problems begin to be solved with a visit to a pediatrician and a neurologist. The child can cry and be capricious all the time due to diseases of the internal organs, so the help of other narrow specialists will also be needed.

... My baby kisses her breast and is naughty all evening. What to do?

Translation Cluster feedings and Fussy Evenings articles with permission of the author
original text by Kelly Boniata, BS, IBCLC

Restless behavior and frequent breastfeeding in the evening are common in infants, especially in the first months of life.

My daughter has been acting up every night for months (yes, it really does go away!). I spent weeks, every night, from about 6:00 pm - 10:00 pm, sitting on the edge of the couch and constantly feeding and / or comforting my baby.

My son did not allow us such a luxury - to sit. At this time of day, Alex was unhappy and cried if he was not held upright and moved with him (and sometimes it only helped him to be less unhappy). Sometimes he was very moody and during the day too. Feeding rarely helped calm his nervousness (unlike my daughter), so I could not use this method of calming (although I always did). He was so moody that I looked for other reasons for his concern (such as food sensitivity), but we never found them, especially since the rest of the time he did nothing but smile. Between 3 and 4 months, the restless behavior gradually faded away, as it usually does, but the first few months were difficult. Currently, the typical comment I hear about him is, "Is he always that funny?" So remember: this will pass too ...
Very frequent feedings (approx. or cluster feeding as Kelly calls them) consist in the fact that at certain times of the day the intervals between breastfeeding of the baby are much shorter than at the rest of the time. This is a common occurrence and most often occurs in the evenings. And often - but not always - it is accompanied by a longer sleep period than usual: perhaps the baby is "refueled" before a long sleep. For example, your baby might breastfeed every hour (or even all the time) between 6 and 10 p.m. and then take a long nap or even sleep all night.

Cluster feedings often coincide with evening feeds. hectic hours... A child can kiss the breast for a few minutes, let go of the breast, be capricious / cry, kiss for a few minutes, let go, be capricious / cry ... over and over ... for many hours. This can be VERY disappointing: Mom starts to wonder if the baby is getting enough milk, maybe she eating something that worries the child, maybe EVERYTHING she does bothers the child ... It can really destroy your self-confidence, especially if there is someone else who asks the same questions (your mother, husband, mother-in-law).

This behavior is NORMAL! It has nothing to do with your breast milk or motherhood. If the child is happy for the rest of the day, does not appear to be in pain (like colic, for example) during a stressful period - just keep trying to calm the child and don’t blame yourself for what’s happening. Let your baby breastfeed for as long and as often as he wants. Use the help of your dad (or other helper) to bring you food / drink and other items (book / remote / phone, etc.) while you feed and comfort your baby.

Does this mean that the baby needs more milk than I can provide?

No. Do not give a bottle of baby - feeding will only signal your body that you need LESS milk at this time, which will not help in this situation. Also, keep in mind that formula-fed babies are also naughty in the evening. Restless evenings are common for all babies, no matter how they eat. The Academy of Breastfeeding Medicine (ABM) writes about it in black and white in its feeding recommendations:
There are situations that require breastfeeding analysis and reorganization, but NOT a DIRECTION of supplementary feeding, including ... a child who is naughty at night or constantly breastfeeding for several hours.
Why are babies naughty in the evening?

A common explanation for a baby's anxiety in the evening is that milk volume in the evening tends to decrease due to the natural hormonal cycle. but Dr. Peter Hartmann, a breastfeeding researcher, says that among the women he surveyed, not there was a decrease in milk volume at this time of day. Even if the milk volume is lower in the evening, the fat content is usually higher in the evening (especially if the baby is on-demand feed), so the calorie intake of the baby should not differ significantly. Milk flow maybe being weaker in the evening and this annoys some babies.

Doctors often attribute the evening moodiness to the child's immature nervous system (and this phenomenon usually ends at 3-4 months, as the child grows older). But, Dr. Katherine Detweiler(which examines breastfeeding in traditional societies) states that babies in Mali, West Africa and other traditional societies do not have colic or evening moodiness. These babies are carried all day long and breastfeed several times an hour.

So it is possible that none of these explanations provide a complete answer to a child's restless evening behavior. For many babies, hectic times seem to be characterized by the need for small amounts of milk at short intervals and the need for intense physical contact, cuddling, and movement. Babies who are offered as much expressed milk or formula as they can drink from a bottle [caution: this practice will reduce your milk supply!] Often behave in the evenings similar... The child eats a small amount of milk and naps (and is naughty), then eats a little more, and so on. Perhaps babies "remember" that the mother was active during pregnancy at this time and again want to be constantly carried, pumped and fed.

Maybe babies just need tomore oftenbreastfeeding at this time, and not consume more milk.

Calming methods during "moody" times:

• Carry baby in a sling or backpack. This frees up one or both hands for other activities (cooking dinner, caring for other children) while you shake, comfort, and feed your baby.
• Change the rhythm of life... Let Dad hang out with the baby while Mom is showering or just letting herself relax and rebuild after a long day.
• Walk... Calm your child (and mom too) by walking, or sit outside and relax. Try this method shortly before the time when the child usually starts to act up.
• Soothing sound... Sing, hum, talk, whisper "shhh", listen to music, or use "white noise". Try different kinds of sounds, different musical styles and singers with different types of voices.
• Calming rhythmic movement... Walk, swing, bounce, dance, whirl. Or try a car ride.
• Physical contact... Hug or bathe your child, or try a massage.
• Reduction of excitatory factors... Dim the lights, reduce the noise, swaddle the baby.
• Changing breastfeeding posture... Try breastfeeding lying on your side, on your back, belly to belly, etc.
• Breastfeed on the move(swing, walk, etc.).
• Combine rhythmic movement with soothing sounds.
• Avoid feeding by the hour, especially in the evening when the child is capricious.
• Additional ways to calm down.

Every evening, when the parents (dad) come home, the child starts to be capricious. Why are children especially active and moody in the evening?

Every night when I get home from work, the baby just loses her temper. She starts to run, to be capricious and literally becomes uncontrollable. I'm already afraid of evenings.

By the end of a long day, the little ones get very tired of the day's games and experiences. And their fatigue, naturally, manifests itself in whims, crying, screaming and other elements of "uncontrollability". Unfortunately, this behavior coincides with a moment when the parents' patience was almost exhausted after a normal day spent alone with a small child, or after strenuous work. Even the most cold-blooded people are easily irritated during these hours.

How to spend an evening without children's whims

Nothing guarantees you peace, silence and calm nerves. However, there are tricks, thanks to which the evening can become more or less calm. Most of them are quite suitable for those parents who do not work, but stay at home with their children.

• Relieve stress before returning home.

By five o'clock in the evening, not only the baby is tense. The stress level of parents who need to cook dinner, tidy up a bricked-up house, or, if they were at work, buy groceries, run into the laundry, look through their mail and answer phone calls, also jumps by an order of magnitude. In the evenings, adults and toddler “warm up” each other, which leads to a nervous situation, so before heading to the front door, release tension. Get off the bus or subway a few blocks from your home and walk. Listen to soothing music on the go or in your car. After driving the car into the garage, do not rush out of it. Sit for about five minutes and breathe deeply, this exercise will help you relieve fatigue. And most importantly, in no case think about what you have to do. Think of something pleasant or try to cheer yourself up (think of a funny situation that happened to you or someone you know). After such "auto-training" you can calmly cross the threshold of your house: now you will have the strength to not only calm your baby, but also treat his antics with humor.

If you have a tough day at work, forget about all the troubles as soon as you enter your home. If you have been at home with your baby all day, you will have to relieve stress with him.

• Take a short break. Instead of jumping straight into business, rest for a while first (after all, if a whimpering child clings to your foot, it is still impossible to get busy).

Take a few deep breaths, pick up your child and sit with him (preferably away from a place that reminds you of the work ahead). Hug the baby to you and read poetry with her or listen to music for children (if you play the same melody every night, this will quickly turn into a habit and, perhaps, even cause the Pavlovian effect: music will be associated with peace in you). Or do something that pleases both of you: put together a mosaic, read a fairy tale, look at pictures, relax together in a quiet dark room, take a warm bubble bath together, sculpt something from plasticine, paint, play with a toy that you do not give unattended. You can relieve stress by going to the playground, walking around the block, doing yoga or aerobics on the carpet. If it's time to cook dinner, let the baby help you.

• Prepare the background. Mute your phone call (or set your phone to an answering machine), dim bright lights, turn off the TV, and remove any other irritants that might disturb the evening silence. It's rest time. Invite your child to play calmly, avoid hectic activities.

• Feed. The baby's stomach lives according to its own schedule, different from that of older children and adults.

Asking your child to wait until dinner usually means you are asking the child to do the impossible. Since hunger is a common cause of a toddler's irritability, the sooner you quench the gurgling in a girl's stomach, the more surely you will get rid of her gurgling. Another potential benefit of having an early meal for your toddler is that your daughter will eat with a lot of appetite (just like overworked children cannot sleep, over-starved ones often cannot eat), you too will have supper with an appetite (having to sit at the dinner table with an irritated toddler will deprive anyone of their appetite. ) and you can have a wonderful time alone or with your spouse (especially if you sit down to dinner when the baby is in bed. This will also happen if you just wait until she calms down a little).