Women may encounter a situation where the husband does not know how to drink, and because of this, problems begin in the family. Because of alcohol, a husband may not only fail to fulfill his duties, but also insult his wife. Because of this behavior, more than one couple divorced, and in some cases it was possible to save the family. It is enough to know how to behave correctly if your husband is on a drinking binge and behaves inappropriately.
The essence of the problem
Unfortunately, now women are often faced with the fact that their husband drinks and does not spend the night at home. Of course, such behavior cannot be considered normal, and the wife has to constantly be nervous if a loved one drinks alcohol all day long. Because if he’s gone for the whole night and doesn’t make himself known, then thoughts arise about whether everything is okay with him, because he’s drunk.
An alcoholic in a family can behave differently: some are able to control themselves, even going on a binge, while others drive their spouse to divorce. But in any case, a drunkard brings grief to his loved ones, because taking ethanol is harmful, and gradually the person kills himself.
It is much worse if the husband drinks and begins to humiliate the woman, and this happens regularly. Often because of this, the wife leaves, because she is not ready to tolerate someone who drinks and is aggressive at the same time. But there are also spouses who are devoted to a man, love him and therefore tolerate drunken antics. It is especially difficult for them, because it is impossible to endure a husband calling him names and still remain happy.
It is important to know what to do if your husband drinks and abuses you. Because if you take certain measures, then there is a chance to restore normal relationships and save the family.
If he insults
Having gone on a binge, for a week or a month, a person’s behavior becomes less and less adequate every day. And the more he drinks, the more problems he causes. Some become aggressive and cannot control their emotions, which are much more pronounced when drunk.
Because of this, the drinking husband begins to humiliate his wife, calls her names and tries in every possible way to bring her to tears. If something like this happened once, then you need to try to forget about what happened. It’s good if the spouse admitted his guilt and apologized, promising not to repeat this. Perhaps he will keep his word and won’t have to part with him.
However, if a person drank almost every day and regularly insulted, then any patience will not be enough. The easiest thing would be to file for divorce so that you don’t have to endure humiliation and suffer because of it. But the situation becomes more complicated if there is a common child or several children. Then the woman has reasons to want to save the family and return love. You should remember that if your husband swears, you nag him in response, then nothing good will come of it. A wise woman knows that aggression will not achieve the desired result.
What to do:
- Do not be rude in response, do not call names or try to humiliate.
- Do not interrupt, do not leave, listen with a calm expression on your face.
- Do not use force, as even a slap in the face can provoke a man to commit violent acts.
- Try not to shout, you can raise your voice a little if necessary.
- There is no point in explaining anything in a fit of anger. You need to wait until your husband cools down and only then try to talk to him.
However, if such behavior does not help, and you only managed to achieve a break between drinking sessions, then you should think about whether you need to live with such a person.
It may be time to walk away and stop fighting for the relationship.
If he cheats
It is not uncommon for a husband to go out after drinking a large dose of alcohol. You can suspect cheating if the spouse did not spend the night at home for one or several days, and also began to consistently stay late at work or not come to his wife at all. Of course, you shouldn’t immediately conclude that he has another girlfriend, because he can only spend time with friends. However, if it seems that he has started to take a walk, then it is worth looking for evidence.
But first you need to decide for yourself whether you want to know the truth or whether it will be easier to pretend that nothing happened. Because if it really turns out that he cheated once or is often unfaithful, then the relationship will not be the same.
How to behave:
- Try to understand what prompted him to cheat. Perhaps the wife became cold, feelings faded, relationships deteriorated due to scandals. However, you should not get carried away by justifying your husband, because cheating for any reason is an unworthy act.
- Don't throw a tantrum, don't cry or beg. Even if he stays with you out of pity, this will not make the couple happy. If he fell in love with another, then you shouldn’t keep him.
- When filing for divorce, you don’t need to change your mind because of persuasion and gifts. Remember that if you cheated once, you will betray you a second time. If you are not ready to put up with this, then there is no point in staying in a relationship with an unfaithful person.
- If you decide to forgive, then never remember what happened and do not reproach.
- Make a requirement that he undergo treatment for alcohol addiction if he wants to stay at home.
In general, we can say that a wandering husband should not be tolerated, unless the woman herself is prone to cheating. Because unfaithful men rarely correct themselves; at best, they pretend to be good for a while.
Fighting addiction
When the problem is alcoholism, then it is important to overcome this disease in order to improve relationships. It will not be enough to say “don’t drink”; you will need to take certain measures.
A woman needs to be prepared to go through a difficult path, because the fight against addiction is difficult for everyone.
You can try to overcome cravings for alcohol at home. To do this, you first need to decompose the substances. A person should not even allow himself to drink sometimes, so as not to relapse. You need to improve your diet and use vitamins to normalize the functioning of your body.
Folk remedies can be used as a supplement, but not as the main method of treatment. Because healing decoctions can support the functioning of organs, but are not effective enough to combat addiction. Therefore, you should use medications if you want to achieve a positive result.
As a last resort, you will need to go to a clinic where you can fight your cravings for alcohol. Specialists will help a person recognize the presence of a problem, and also set them up to resist addiction. The clinic puts in IVs and prescribes medications that can help. Doctors closely monitor a person’s condition, and they will really help overcome alcoholism.
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According to statistics, in every second family there is a fact of male alcoholism, and many wives do not know how to behave and what to do with their drinking husband. Some choose the path of divorce, others close their eyes and patiently endure, others call on medicine and coding for help.
To get rid of the problem as quickly as possible, you need to determine the true causes of this tendency and assess the scale of the tragedy. Alcohol attracts people because it affects the brain centers that are responsible for the production of the pleasure hormone.
A person who drinks alcohol, at best, feels more relaxed, liberated, his perception of reality changes, and self-control decreases.
In the worst case, the alcoholic turns into a domestic tyrant, insults his wife, and cases of assault are not uncommon. If you are determined to help your spouse cope with this problem and do not plan to leave him, then first let’s figure out what the main causes of alcoholism are and what to do in this situation.
Causes of alcoholism
The consumption of alcoholic beverages initially has a psychological dependence, which subsequently develops into a physical one. Being in a state of intoxication, a person creates a reality for himself, in which there is no place for the problems and experiences that are present in reality. Alcohol becomes a way of relaxation.
Therefore, if your husband drinks heavily, it means that something is not giving him the desired inner peace. Alcohol is often used or started to be used by people who live in a state of stress or depression, feel a sense of inferiority, or are dissatisfied with their lives, partially or in general.
At these moments, a person has internal conflicts that he is unable to resolve and somehow change his thinking. The desire to escape from these internal discords through alcohol can cause physical dependence instead of psychological dependence and lead to personality degradation.
When figuring out the cause of alcoholism, it is worth taking into account the realities of modern life. In our society, it is common to drink alcohol not only in honor of holidays, but also on less important dates or for no reason at all. Often the invitation to drink comes from a person’s environment.
It is possible that your husband is simply insecure or emotionally unstable and cannot refuse an offer to drink. The inability to say “no” in time leads to the fact that a person formally follows the lead of others, not noticing that he has begun to drink more often and more, imperceptibly sliding into the abyss.
What to do if your husband drinks?
If your husband drinks constantly, then it is worth analyzing his character, behavior, goals and, most likely, you will see one of the reasons why he drinks. To help your husband cope with alcohol addiction, first of all, you need to provide him with psychological support and direct his thoughts towards getting rid of this addiction, of course, if he himself wants it.
If your husband has an alcohol addiction, but he refuses to admit it, then work on yourself. The practice of such cases suggests that most wives on a subconscious level approve of their husband’s destructive hobby, receiving hidden benefits from it for themselves.
Many women live with the stereotypical mindset of “victim - tyrant - savior”, and in this case, an alcoholic husband is simply an excellent basis for maintaining this stereotype.
How can I help my husband?
To help your husband cope with alcohol addiction, it is necessary to help him understand reality and awaken in him the desire to act to change the situation. Whatever step he takes (visiting a narcologist, coding, etc.) this will already be a great achievement, which means that all is not lost, and he wants to quit his addiction.
If your man does not want to change anything and he is completely satisfied with this lifestyle, then there are only two options - either change your attitude towards him and accept everything as it is, or leave.
Video on the topic of the article
Domestic violence is often silent about. If a husband beats his wife, she often hides it from strangers. Why? It's embarrassing and inconvenient. You can’t tell your friend about this over a cup of tea. Sometimes the closest relatives have no idea what a nightmare a woman is going through day after day, until they accidentally notice her bruises and abrasions.
Why do some husbands beat their wives?
Aggression in the family does not come out of nowhere. It does not happen that a caring, loving father of a family suddenly changes for no reason, instantly turning into a cruel tyrant capable of raising his hand against the mother of his children.
Aggressiveness, lack of self-control, and explosive character often have a psychological basis. Psychologists talk about the existence of two types of male aggressors:
- Men are pit bulls. This type accumulates aggression gradually. The scandal begins with abuse and reproaches, grows and ends with beatings. In this case, the husband is psychologically highly dependent on his wife, but he lacks respect for her as a person. It is extremely difficult for a woman in such a relationship: she has to watch her every word, gesture and glance. The disgruntled tyrant still finds something to complain about and provokes another scandal with beatings.
- Cobra men. This type is more complex and dangerous than the first, although it is somewhat less common. The use of force occurs unexpectedly, without previous quarrels and verbal showdowns, while outwardly the man is absolutely calm. He does not feel remorse even after beating his wife.
Why is there violence? If a husband often beats his wife, it means he feels power over her. Low self-esteem and the presence of complexes push a man to demonstrate his superiority over the weak.
Nature has built into the male character the desire for self-affirmation. Each person chooses ways to increase self-esteem on his own: climb the career ladder, achieve success and recognition in sports, business, or assert himself at the expense of his wife and children, humiliating and beating them. The unrecognized genius aggressively expresses his dissatisfaction with life at home, as if proving that he, too, is worth something.
From a psychological point of view, male aggression is provoked by the following reasons:
What to do if your husband beats you: divorce or stay and try to correct the situation, each woman decides independently. There are those for whom one time, a single blow, is enough to break the relationship. Such women love and respect themselves, and are confident that once their husband has crossed the boundaries of what is permissible, he will no longer be able to stop. This means that physical violence will be repeated. Other wives live with tyrants, finding excuses and forgiving cruelty, deciding to re-educate him or meekly accepting the situation.
A psychologist's advice will help you break the vicious circle of domestic violence:
Where can you turn if you are beaten by your spouse?
Women are stopped by the fear of the unknown and loneliness. Wives, financially dependent on their husbands, who have nowhere to go, feel that they are driven into a dead end and see no way out, and their husbands continue to abuse, feeling their dominance. There is always a way out:
- Seek help from relatives or close friends. You can find temporary shelter with them.
- In big cities, you can seek support from crisis centers for victims of domestic violence. If a critical situation arises, you can find refuge and protection there, receive legal and psychological assistance, and assistance in finding a job.
- 8-800-100-49-940 - all-Russian crisis helpline for women, open around the clock.
The procedure for the victim when contacting law enforcement agencies
You need to act clearly when beating, this will help punish the offender according to the law. The procedure is as follows:
What threatens the tyrant?
The legislation provides for prosecution for assault, physical and moral harm.
Depending on the circumstances of the beating, after a criminal trial, the perpetrator of the beating may be charged with:
- causing intentional minor harm to health (Article 115 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation);
- infliction of intentional moderate harm to health (Article 112 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation);
- infliction of intentional grievous harm to health (Article 111 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation);
- beatings (Article 116 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation);
- torture (Article 117 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation);
- threat of murder or causing grievous bodily harm (Article 119 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation).
An official warning will be issued to the inadequate spouse. He will be registered and his behavior will be monitored in the future.
The court, based on the case materials, taking into account the severity of the damage and injuries caused, as well as the moral damage caused, will impose a punishment on the aggressor. It could be:
- a fine of up to 40 thousand rubles;
- compulsory community service;
- correctional work;
- arrest;
- deprivation of liberty.
Remember, changing the behavior of a husband who beats his wife is only possible if the man himself strives for this, if he understands the inadmissibility of his actions and with enormous internal work on his part. In other cases, the only way out to preserve health, a strong nervous system, and sometimes even life, is divorce.
Drinking people resist treatment, if the husband is a complete alcoholic or has just started drinking every day, most often the worries of saving him fall on the shoulders of the wife. And she has to wonder what to do if her husband drinks heavily, and the addiction is fully formed, and she has the misfortune of living with an alcoholic. In Russia, problems with drunkenness occur in every second family. Living with a man who has started drinking requires special skills that a woman, willy-nilly, has to master.
The husband started drinking every day, and vodka becomes the center of the house, and the household is forced to relate every step to this fact. The character of the woman changes and the children suffer. The wife needs to pull herself together and convince her husband to admit that he is an alcoholic and convince him to get treatment.
Essence of an Alcoholic
A second “I” is formed in a man who starts drinking, which has terrible destructive power. People often go on a binge after coding, and with each new breakdown, the drunken essence of a person becomes stronger and more aggressive. A woman faces in her family two diametrically opposed personalities of her husband. The wife takes it upon herself to bring her husband to his senses; she needs to declare prohibition in the house and eliminate alcohol from use even on common or family holidays. For an alcoholic, the only alternative is absolute sobriety.
You better drink!
It is not enough to wean an alcoholic away from alcoholic drinks; it is important to teach him what to do with a sober lifestyle. A person who drank every day simply does not know what to do with himself when his favorite pastime is not available. Sometimes drinking is replaced by hobbies, for example, a man who quit drinking becomes a coin or stamp collector. And from a shirtless guy he turns into a stingy guy, spending every penny on his collection. Not only for his drinking buddies, but for his own wife, he becomes a new and unfamiliar person.
Often a man remembers a time when he was treated with more sympathy, at least by his drinking buddies. He remembers drinking sessions, accompanied by the inner uplift and energy that alcohol causes, and forgets about the severity of the hangover and the inevitable problems. He begins to dream about that golden time, thereby pushing himself to decoding.
The psychologist's advice for this turning point is:
- in this situation, the wife needs to become internally strong so that the fatal phrase does not come out: it would be better if you drank;
- you can’t give up, you should let in your attractiveness and charm by changing your image with clothes, makeup and hairstyle;
- as a last resort, penalties can be introduced if they are not applied for the sake of revenge for a ruined life, and only if other methods are unsuccessful;
- You can try to provoke jealousy with caution, but this advice is extremely dangerous, do not forget about it;
- to get rid of drinking buddies at home, you can feign illness;
- at the initial stage of alcoholism, video recording of the husband in a drunken stupor, and the threat to show it to all friends and relatives, works flawlessly;
- you can be intimidated by divorce and exchange of apartments;
- do not hesitate to call the police if your husband makes a scandal, as a few days in the police station are very sobering;
- at the onset of delirium tremens, contact a psychiatric service.
Husband drinks and abuses
A completely different situation requires appropriate methods of behavior if the husband not only drinks every day, but also insults, since in this case it is not far from assault, and this is a direct threat to life. Insults can be habitual or come as a complete surprise to a wife who considers her husband well-mannered and self-controlled.
The husband was rude the first time - you can try to forget about the incident. A man insults every day since he started drinking and it has become ingrained and habitual, but the wife is determined to save the marriage, and then we need to figure out why such an outrage happens. Look at the situation, as if from the outside. Perhaps meekness itself is perceived as an inability to defend oneself, and this is what infuriates.
There are several options for aggression:
- immoderation in words and actions occurs only if the husband drinks;
- his temper is impulsive and quickly fades away;
- the fact that the husband insults is a stable manifestation of character and has become the norm.
Find out the reason why your husband is insulting.
If the husband is aggressive while intoxicated, then you should remember that the proverb: what is on the mind of a sober man is on the tongue of a drunken man, is not always true. Alcohol changes the psyche, and, having sobered up, a person is often ashamed of what he said and did while drunk. And the problem here is not the insults, but whether the person is ready to quit drinking. If the husband starts drinking every day, then the woman sees only one drunken personality of her husband, often encountering insults.
You shouldn’t believe and take to heart words uttered in an inadequate state, but it’s worth thinking about, if he doesn’t stop drinking, do you want to live in constant fear. The husband may agree to treatment, and the problem with aggression will go away on its own. But you will have to avoid provoking drinking and banish alcohol from the house completely. Not only holidays, but also weekdays should be sober.
If a man insults his wife during moments of his temper, this may be a consequence of troubles at work or the result of other problems. The situation can be corrected by receiving the following advice from a psychologist:
- do not be rude in response, much less try to insult;
- don't interrupt;
- do not allow violence on your part - a slap in the face can provoke assault;
- You can raise your voice within reasonable limits;
- at the moment when your husband cools down, try to convey to him how you feel about his temper.
But if your husband constantly insults you, then you need to think about whether you need such a person. If rudeness has become the norm of life, then it should not be tolerated. You can try to change your husband's character only if, after another outburst, he feels ashamed. If repentance does not occur, then it is worth thinking about the children who are also subject to his tyranny. Your feelings of self-preservation and self-esteem should tell you what to do next.
Husband drinks and cheats
If the husband’s drinking takes place outside the house, and he may not come to spend the night for several days, then the wife has the right to suspect that the husband is going out. First of all, you need to remain calm, no matter how difficult it may be. Remember that you are a smart and strong woman and can handle the situation.
Evaluate what is happening to make the right decision. The husband should not influence him in this particular situation, since he has already shown himself from the negative side. The problem can have three outcomes. You can break up with your husband who is walking, you can pretend that nothing happened or forgive. Solutions are opposite and can change your life dramatically. The adoption of one or another method of response depends on the method of betrayal and its reasons. A psychologist’s advice to a woman who has discovered that her husband is taking walks consists of the following rules:
- try to understand the reasons for betrayal;
- do not relax so much that tears or hysterics appear;
- the decision made must be fulfilled: you decided to get a divorce, bring the matter to an end, persuasion, flowers and gifts - on the side;
- decided to forgive, forget it, like a nightmare, don’t reproach your husband, he should appreciate the ability to forgive;
- the conversation with the husband should take place calmly without accusations and reproaches; if the husband is determined to stay in the house, most likely he will accept the terms of reconciliation;
- it is necessary to take into account that if the husband has started drinking and goes on walks, then you should not trust his words, and it is necessary to agree on the treatment of alcohol dependence.
The situation can only be changed by recognizing in time that the husband is walking, as is his addiction to the green serpent. You can eliminate the possible reasons that your husband is looking for entertainment on the side by diversifying your sex life. Go somewhere to relax together, the husband must understand that neither a bottle nor another woman can replace the best wife in the world.
If you can’t cope with the fact that your husband has started drinking and is going on walks, don’t dwell on it. Divorce can be perceived as the beginning of a new life.
I understand your situation. Mine also drinks beer, but not every day. I just sometimes set conditions for him, and he listens to them. Try it, it might work. Good luck to you.
Honestly, the situations are similar, like twins, mine is about the same. The husband says that he loves him, that he will definitely leave him, but everything is useless - just words, his daughter sees him like this. He becomes an absolute idiot as soon as he drinks, but when sober he is the smartest guy. It’s probably right to think more about yourself and your child, try to build your life, but it’s incredibly difficult. Sometimes you want to howl out of despair. We are talking with him about the second child, trying to convince him that we both need to lead a relatively healthy lifestyle, and not just me, because we also need to raise the child. But while he doesn’t get it, like a 15-year-old teenager, he’s afraid of losing his fictitious authority, how can a woman obey, they’ll laugh. It’s nonsense, but I want to pull him out of this abyss, his health is already failing, there is a suspicion of an ulcer, but I can’t pull him out.
I read and think that there are so many of us with one problem. I have known my husband since childhood. He drinks every day - his father drank the same way. died at 51. No amount of persuasion helps. It seems to me that his development stopped at the age of 16. friends, vodka beer, that's all. Thank God - it works. His boss is the same. My first husband was a drug addict; she left him more than 20 years ago. after he began to offer to inject himself with him. I lived alone with two children for 7 years. and then I met my first love and got married. She gave birth to a third child. many will say = stupid. Probably. but you have to live.
Hello, I also want to ask for advice. My husband and I have been together since we were 15, 6 years. I love him so much. he drinks from 1.5 to 4 liters of beer every day after work, and on weekends he has a blast. Moreover, he believes that you should drink like this, that is, until you are completely cut off. If he got drunk before, he used to beat him, but now, thank God, he’s stopped, but it’s still not very pleasant. friends say re-educate, but I don’t know how. he doesn't listen to me. even when I left him and left, I still didn’t stop flogging him
you yourself do not feel sorry for your child. nightmare. It seems to me that if a woman cannot protect her child from such a picture, then there is no need to give birth until you understand that you yourself would not want to grow up in such a family. These are your personal complexes, that you won’t find better men. As long as there are such women who are ready to endure it, there will be such men and children will grow up in accordance with what they have seen in life. girls will look for men who drink, and boys will start doing this themselves.
Excuse me for being harsh. but very often I saw what this leads to and very often I saw that when a woman really wants a good family, she will always find it. And if you like it, it hurts, so it will always be like that.
Please tell me what to do if my husband drinks and abuses me mentally. I can’t leave her, the child is holding me, I don’t want to leave my daughter without a father. Yes, and there is one more problem, I don’t want to return to the village to my mother, I have no prospects there. And I'm only 20 years old.
There are so many of us. My husband also drinks a lot, either beer, wine, or gin. I see him sober 1-2 times a week. The child is one year old, together for 3 years. This didn’t happen from the beginning, it started when I got pregnant. Before it was generally scary, but now it’s somehow calmer. The worst thing is that he doesn’t realize that the problem already exists, he thinks that everything is fine, and I’m finding fault. He says that this is how he relaxes. And in order to relax, he needs to drink not a bottle of beer or a glass of wine, but get drunk until he stops thinking.
I decided for myself that I would fight this for another year while I was on maternity leave, and then I would send it all away. I’m almost ready for this mentally, at least I’m preparing myself.
I’m also thinking about going to a psychologist together and signing him up for boxing, so that he can decompress emotionally.
Yes, all the familiar stories are eerily similar to mine.
I’ve been married for 5 years, my husband drinks beer by the liter during the week, and spends all his money on the weekend until he drops. He doesn’t consider himself an alcoholic. I’m just very tired, I don’t know what to do, I’ve also been laid off at work.
I'm mentally preparing to retreat.
Yes, I have a similar story, but my husband was coded in different ways and the result was the same. I bought very expensive drops and tablets at the beginning, then they decided to code with an injection. They injected something nasty into a vein, it lasted for about 2 months. Then the most armor-piercing one in They sewed an ampoule into my buttock, it lasted 10 months - this is the happiest time. Now he drinks a lot. Also, by the way, strong drinks are not very good, but the beer won’t go down yet. I wonder if there is any method, but in reality a person will quit if he wants to. The desire of his beloved wife is not enough.
Girls, I understand you. I'm in the same situation myself. Sober is golden, but when you get drunk, your eyes won’t look. He doesn't swear, doesn't hit, doesn't insult. He just sits near the TV and drinks. I ask why, he says I don’t know, I can’t help but drink, the work is stressful. He doesn't want to be treated. His grandfather drank, then his heart caught, he stopped drinking, smoking, and started playing sports. He said that he also drinks until nothing happens. But how stupid it is to mock your health! She says that she loves her and doesn’t want to leave her. But a week of binge drinking is guaranteed. I tried to talk, give examples, and cursed. It seems like he’ll think about it first, and then. I will try traditional medicine
Before I came to this site, I thought that there were few girls with such a problem as mine. What to do? My husband is 24 years old, he also likes to drink, our daughter is 3 years old, she loves her dad very much, I can’t quit, but I don’t know what to do, what kind of future awaits me, I start telling his mother about drinking, she blames me for everything, although before me he drank even worse, and I’m doing everything in my power to save him. I can’t call my husband an alcoholic, but it seems to me that everything is leading to this. How to live, you can save a person, because you can always leave him, but how will my daughter be, she won’t understand me, this is her own father. Any advice please?
I also understand your problems, I myself live with such a person, we have been living for 8 years, we have no children, he wants to drink and in a drunken stupor he becomes simply uncontrollable, he allows himself many liberties. But in a sober state, the other person is completely human and we have great love, despite the long marriage, one problem is alcohol, I try to solve the problem with requests, persuasion and nothing helps, I suffer a lot about this. There is only one question in my head - why men destroy their happiness, health and future with their own hands. How to reach the brain?
I wish everyone who believes - patience.
Apparently, Marisha, your husband hasn’t bothered you too much yet, if you still love him, tolerate him, etc.
Well, in all, absolutely all letters, I saw my story, or at least part of it. My God, there are so many of us, poor things. I have been married for 8 years and before marriage I saw xy from xy, but I hoped. Some write that they love it. How can you love such a person from whom you get a knife in the back. I haven’t loved you for a very long time, and I don’t respect you at all anymore, but I have a child, common property, and the salary seems to be nothing. Mercantile? I do not argue. Will he crawl home today or won’t he crawls, he’s tired of it, but what should he do?
My husband is a beer alcoholic. He hardly drinks strong drinks, but he drinks one or two cans of beer every day, and on the weekend he drinks until he drops. I’m tired of fighting, no matter how much I persuaded him with affection and threats, he kept drinking and drinking. At one time he decided to drink with him, he was happy, he ran home with a beer. I didn’t have enough for a long time, my body began to reject alcohol, after a sip of beer I was gargling like a child. Now he drinks alone. We don’t go on a visit anywhere, it’s just another reason to drink. We ourselves don’t have anyone either We don’t call him. He sits in front of the TV and drinks. I have no more strength, I’ve said goodbye to the dream of a second child. I still don’t want to leave him. The child, the shared apartment, and the feelings, I can’t do it without him and he will finally get drunk without me. How to get him to stop drinking? Has anyone had this experience?
Dear women, do not trust alcoholic husbands. I lived with my husband for 34 years and during this time he turned into a tyrant alcoholic. He drank constantly and beat me, and broke my arm. Now I’m divorced and I don’t regret it, I’m just happy.
First of all, you need to love yourself and your children, but yourself is more important. If you love yourself, those around you will love you.
Why feel sorry for a person who does not feel sorry for himself? Have pity on yourself! No one will feel sorry for you except you.
Beer alcoholics experience sexual impotence early on. Beer contains substances similar to female sex hormones. And in general, beer replaces any sexual interest for them. Dealing with beer addiction is very difficult. How to make me quit? Just scare.
Girls, my husband and I argued that he wouldn’t be able to drink for a month, and for the first time in my life I live like in a fairy tale, no nerves, no scandals, after a month, he quit smoking. I don’t know how long this will last, but there is a big difference between when a husband drinks or not. True, when I quit smoking, I had to put up with his aggression for a bit, but then after 3 days it went away.
I can share one way. Mine didn’t drink for 2 months after that, but then everything returned to normal. Although others, after all the things they’ve done, haven’t drunk for a year. Well, everyone is different. Now I’ll try something else, maybe it will help. What about leaving? I’ll tell you this, they don’t go anywhere and don’t go to anyone. Maybe cynically. But it’s true.
You can read and see what alcoholism is from the inside, for example, on the website http://vesvalo.net There are few other things around which there are so many ridiculous prejudices! There on the website you can ask about Al-Anon groups, these are people who are faced with the problem of alcoholism of loved ones and share with each other ways to solve the problem. Believe me, you will learn a lot of new things!
Where to run? To another planet? Tell me that magical place where there is no alcoholism? I can only escape from life, and I would have escaped long ago, the child is holding me.
So you say (some readers) “quit,” but do you think it’s so easy? And what about an apartment? Now with such prices for apartments, you have to work as the president’s secretary, even if I’m exaggerating a little, but still. And then, for those who have children, it’s also difficult, the child has to be picked up from kindergarten, for example, but what if you work late? in general, I would have abandoned mine too, but there’s nowhere to go, there’s simply nowhere to live. I am now a student, especially for the second time, but on a scholarship. you understand))) here we live... my mother dripped drops into alcohol for my father, secretly, of course, it helped, he couldn’t see the vodka. but he walked around angry and took out all his anger on us, if people are completely sick, then yes... but I’m so disgusted with my own things, because my father was drunk, so now I can’t see drunk people at all! Now I’m surfing the internet, maybe I’ll find something, although I don’t know what. maybe you can take a look
I reassure myself that let my daughter grow up a little, I’ll find a normal job with a good salary. Maybe then I’ll leave.
Girls, I won’t describe my life - everything is the same, the same circles of hell and hope. I would like to advise all of you to print out and give to your husbands to read this letter from a woman, a former alcoholic, I found it on the Internet, it made a huge impression on my husband and his friend, they both stopped drinking, it’s a long story, but they just radically changed their lives. Maybe this will help you too. Happiness and health to you all, dears!
http://community.livejournal.com/bolshe_ne_mogu/10585.html?p?age=1#comments
Well... It's a pity that they don't understand this. After all, this is not a disease of any kind, in the sense of a disease, but if you let them understand it. then they will use it. And we will always cry. My father is a drunk and my husband is the same, tell me I’m a fool. I married someone like that once. but when I got married, he wasn’t like that, which means men can’t stand the usual routine at home, they panic. They think it’s all over... and they start drinking, but for what? Is it because his wife does everything around the house for him or something?)) I don’t even want to cope with my NG!
And anyway, stick together, friends, what do we need? I wish you happiness exactly the way you imagine it!
When my husband and I were friends, he didn’t drink in front of me, and I thought that he didn’t drink. After getting married, he started drinking every day and I thought it was me, then it turned out that he drank the same way before me. And now he’s been annoying me for two days now. I can’t see him, when he kisses me, the smell of beer from his nostrils spreads to mine and I feel sick. Another NG meeting on my nerves. It’s just that same bright Hope that this will all stop someday!
you are stupid, but the problem is serious
maybe you can just get a divorce? After such weeds, we buried the guy.
Earlier, like everyone else here, I complained about my alcoholic husband, we had been with him for 10 years, and Helga felt the same thing, but one fine day we argued with him that he couldn’t last a month without drinking, that argument was long gone and not a month but much more. But until yesterday I didn’t believe that he no longer drinks or even smokes, until yesterday I met my drinking companion on the street and said that I no longer drink or smoke, so go home. This was the best New Year's gift.
I can’t get a divorce, as I wrote above, due to weakness of will and there is no “new branch” on the horizon. But I doubt it would be a good idea to bury you from weed, it was very scary those 3 times when you came out of the binge, the doctors gave you injections and left you, and you sit there and make sure you don’t go crazy, because... It's like being under anesthesia. Thanks for the information, I'll try to look for weed.
I would like to know from someone whether there are any medications that could be added to alcohol, so that after 1 glass or glass the most terrible vomiting, diarrhea and some other nasty thing would begin, so that the instinct of self-preservation would work and, accordingly, lead to would be disgusted by alcohol.
Girls, you need to do everything on time (leave, start all over again), give up stupid hopes that someday everything will get better. My grandmother ran away from her drunken husband until she was old; she no longer had the strength or health, and she had to run away to her sister and live with her until he got drunk. Everyone hopes for a peaceful old age, with such husbands don’t expect it, the worst thing is, that children won’t understand you when they grow up either. It’s better to have a sober “Sunday” dad than a constantly drunk one.
