In such a situation, a quick and easy answer cannot be found. After all, everything would seem against you: both the laws of nature and society. But we will still try to find the answer to the question: what to do if you are in love with cousin?

I love my cousin

Confusion in feelings

To begin with, you still need to understand your nature of feelings. Many girls think that she is in love, when in fact, they have completely different feelings that are simply difficult to determine. What do we consider a brother? Of course, if this is a good, real brother, then we see in him a protector, assistant, a person who loves us “for nothing”, will always support us. For a brother, we are always those who need to be protected. In fact, if you see your cousin in your eyes just like that, then it turns out that he falls under all the standards of an ideal husband. This is where the girl begins to think that she is in love with her cousin. In fact, this may not be the case at all. That is, of course, she is in love, but in a completely different way. After all, we also love relatives and admire them, but this feeling has a slightly different nature than love for a man. And often girls confuse these feelings, and then do not know what to do. Especially often this happens to ladies who grew up in an incomplete family, that is, without a father. In this case, the girl begins to look for a protector for herself and sees him in her brother. But on the other hand, her family model, embedded in the subconscious, does not provide for some stranger who could become her husband, because he can leave, offend, insult. But the beloved brother with whom they grew up together will never do this. That is why mental ordeals and torments begin. If you understand that all of the above is about you, then once again carefully analyze your feelings for your brother. Perhaps you confuse love with the desire to receive protection and tenderness from a loved one. Moreover, girls who grew up without a father tend to always compare guys with brothers. But sometimes it just subconsciously seems to them that the brother is the most the best man, and all the other guys do not reach this level. That's when strange feelings begin to arise.

real feeling

But such a situation cannot be considered in the case when the brother and sister met as adults and obviously not brotherly feelings immediately arose between them. This case is the most difficult, because here the consciousness and subconsciousness simply do not see a relative in a person. It sees the object of attention, the man with whom you want to be. And then the question arises: how to do it? First, you must find out how your brother feels about you. If these feelings are not mutual, then most likely it is not worth talking about them at all. After all, as you know, relations between relatives are condemned. And the point here is not only in social norms, but also in genetics, although, on the other hand, with modern ecology it is already difficult to guess what harms health more. But if the feelings are not mutual, then the only thing you will get from recognition is attacks from relatives. In this case, it is better to suppress these feelings in yourself.

But when a brother loves you as much as you love him, then you need to decide together whether you can resist society, which obviously will not praise you for such a decision. Of course, as mentioned above, there is some truth in their words. But on the other hand, very often a brother and sister who are never allowed to be together end up alone, because they turn out to be THAT love for each other. So, if you love your brother, and he loves you, then gather your will and strength into a fist and do not pay attention to what relatives say. After all, this is your family, and if they love you, they will understand and accept you. Sooner or later, but it will happen. In the meantime, you just need to be patient a little so as not to lose the love of your life.

I'll start like this: I really don't know what to do. Once, at the age of 13, I met my second cousin, whom I knew about, but had not seen him before. Since then, my world has been turned upside down. Not only do I like him, but all these 8 years I seem to love him not at all with kindred love. I also know that he likes me too, not just as a sister. When we are together, we walk by the hands, we hug, for everyone these are just brother and sister jokes, but not for us ... There was a time, we did not communicate, and now we communicate again, but not as close as before. We have grown older and understand that it is impossible to do so. Also, relatives, seeing our strange family relationship, reminded us that we have relatives, already elderly, a brother and sister (who got married), so their children are very sick ... What should we do? They thought about leaving to study and work, to rent an apartment for two, but they are worried about what will happen next. I am very drawn to him ... I'm just going crazy.

Arina, Samara, 21 years old / 18.09.14

Opinions of our experts

• Alyona

  Arina, the idea to leave to study somewhere in Big city- beautiful. But not together, but one. Firstly, in order to get out of your shell and see that there are a lot of guys around who are at least as good as your second cousin. Secondly, in order to finally grow up and understand that children's falling in love with relatives is a common phenomenon, you just don't need to make a cult out of it. In fact, you don't know for sure how your brother feels about you. It may turn out that he just thinks of you as a sister with whom you can be yourself. Maybe the idea of ​​​​going to study and renting a shared apartment for two in his understanding means only this, and he didn’t even think of cohabiting with you as a common-law wife, and you have already fantasized everything in the world. To be honest, I think that's exactly what it is. And the most important thing for you is to get out of this fantasy into the real world. The easiest way to do this is to change the environment. BUT The best way Finding new friends and meeting your true soul means starting your education, finding an interesting job for yourself, and getting carried away with something truly worthwhile. After all, while you only became an adult according to your passport, but in reality your dreams, fantasies and plans are still very immature, as if you were stuck at the age of 13.

• Sergey

  Arina, man differs from animals in that he has the ability to think with his head. Here's what I suggest you try to do. No, I understand, romance, falling in love and so on. However, people did not just decide that it was impossible to cohabit with blood relatives. Such ties carry too serious consequences. Moreover, those who have fun with their brothers and sisters are not in danger. But their possible children will not be healthy. The list of possible deviations and hereditary diseases that these unfortunate fruits of the unreasonableness of adults will carry further, already to their children, is simply huge. And mostly mental problems. In this regard, personally, I would advise you to start thinking like an adult, and not like a teenager with an unrealized Electra complex. As for the idea of ​​leaving to study, this, in my opinion, is a very sound idea. Only not together, but one by one and in different directions. Although, of course, everyone is free to spoil his life in his own way. And if you don't give a damn about the fact that there will be a few more mentally handicapped children in the world, then continue to communicate with your brother. In the end, God is your judge.

Valentina, Kumertau

Good afternoon. I beg you to help me with advice. To begin with, I have a second cousin whom we never saw in childhood. We first met 10 years ago, when I graduated from high school, he was 7 years older than me. When he first saw me, everyone noticed that he did not look at me as a sister, he did not take his eyes off me. But we were unable to communicate due to circumstances. Our next meeting took place recently, 10 years later. We spent 2 days together. During this time, he said that he tried to contact me for several years, asked relatives to give me my number, but always received a refusal, asked about me, where I was, but they did not want to tell him anything. And after repeated failures, he decided that he probably came up with something for himself and left this idea. A lot has happened in my life in 10 years. I was married, divorced, I have a child. He had one relationship and that's it. He is 32 years old, when asked why he is still alone, he does not answer anything. For 2 days of our communication, it was clear that he was not indifferent to me precisely as a girl. He was constantly by my side, tried to hug me, take my hand, bought me everything that I love, did not want to part, constantly wrote and asked when I would be free and we could see each other. He tried his best to stay alone with me and many other little things that speak of sympathy. His non-brotherly attitude was obvious to another brother of ours, who said - you are second cousins, you can. He did not answer this phrase, I was confused and did not know what to say. Now he has gone to his city, we can communicate only by phone. He has repeatedly said that he does not like virtual communication. And then I offered two options - not to communicate until the next meeting, or he would move to our city. He replied that the first option is definitely not. I also do not perceive him as a brother, and to be honest, I fell in love. I constantly think about him, miss him and would really like to be with him. But he didn't tell me anything directly, these are just my guesses. Since his departure, we have corresponded several times, where again phrases flashed from his side indicating sympathy for me: “I always smile when I communicate with you”, “I feel bad that I had to leave”, etc. And I don't know how to be. I can’t tell him about my feelings, all of a sudden I just came up with it all for myself, and he’s just so kind to everyone, or he’s in love, but the distance and the fact that I have a child stop him. I constantly want to communicate with him, but there is no such initiative on his part. And I don’t know how best to act, step aside and wait for how he will behave further or confess everything in order to immediately solve everything and not suffer.

I have a serious problem. I did not dare to talk about it to anyone because it is not the best topic for conversation. The whole point is that I am physically attracted to my older brother! Native! I am 21, he is 32. He is married and has children. I live with parents. My brother is very handsome, tall, athletic. Not at all drawn to his 32 years, looks much younger. Due to the age difference, we very rarely spent time together - interests are different, you know. But recently he came on vacation, without his wife. The children stayed with our parents, and we went to rest. I am pleased to walk next to him, everyone looks at us and thinks that we are a couple (outwardly we are very different: he is brown-haired with green eyes, and I am red-haired and my eyes are brown). Many girls were openly jealous. With his friends, I quickly found mutual language but I don't like any of them. I look at them and at other guys, and then at my brother and I understand that he is the best! He is also outwardly handsome, takes care of himself, earns a lot, he has everything. He is the dream of any woman and his wife is lucky, because my brother is not a walker! Once he started an affair (he always told me everything), but after the birth of his second child, he stopped. And the other day I had a dream. And in this dream, I was making love to my brother! I woke up in a wild shock, such thoughts had never visited me, and then suddenly everything was as bright and clear as it was in reality. From that day on, everything went wrong in my head. I only think of my brother. What should I do?? After all, this is wrong!!!

Psychologists Answers

Frankness for frankness -

Your feelings are not fatal :).

And not destructive :).

But to deal with them and find outlets for feelings - others - is possible.

Contact.

G. Idrisov.

Hello Nadia. Inside the psyche there are no restrictions either in time or in actions. A dream is a psychic reality. At the same time, dreams can reveal the actual reality more deeply, help us in real life. Come, let's figure out what this dream gives.

Hello Nadia.

The human psyche is arranged in such a way that from time to time people see dreams similar to yours. In these dreams, things can happen that in reality really cannot even come to mind ... You are right, in reality, sexual relations with relatives are the greatest Taboo of mankind. Why do these thoughts become your obsession? Come, this needs to be worked on, and you can find peace in your relationship with your brother and build a personal life and fall in love with other young people.

Good luck to you!

Hello Nadia!

The line between sisterly love for a brother (or for anyone from relatives) and incest impulses is very shaky, because from the point of view of nature you are a woman, and he is a man, and in nature, incest is a normal thing. People are kept from incest by moral constraints. In your case, it seems that the bodily impulses are so strong that they begin to crush the moral superstructure of the personality. It is necessary to understand why this is happening, and what can be done to redirect your sexual energy in an acceptable direction. Because incest, if you give yourself free rein and it happens, will not make you happy, there is too much taboo on it. We must look for ways to satisfy our needs without breaking this taboo. All the best, Elena.

Is there love between brother and sister? "I fell in love with my cousin", what to do?

And although, according to many, such love has no right to exist, more and more girls fall in love with their older brothers. And not necessarily relatives. He may also be a cousin. However, this does little to save the situation when love appears.

I fell in love with my cousin. Love between brother and sister.

My love is not at all like "native". Yes, I remember that he is my cousin (photo). I also remember that incest is sinful and immoral. And what should I do?

He arrived at my age. On my birthday, in fact, we met him. Romantic acquaintance. My God, he's so handsome.... He has such eyes, such lips, such a voice.

I will never forget these amazing feelings, I have never had such with anyone. I am already 37 years old, he is five years older, we are cousins. We both have families. But since then we have missed each other very much. We can’t say anything on the phone, on Skype… we can’t even give a hint.. only his “hello, do you miss?” on Skype, and my answer is “yes ..”, which we immediately erase ... ..

wind: exactly like that? no. when I was little, I told everyone that I would marry my cousin 🙂 but this is very early childhood. in kindergartens, too, there are many who promise what to whom ... to condemn? yes, in principle, there is nothing to condemn - it's not your fault that it happened. but there are just certain limits - a brother cannot love a sister and a mother cannot love a son (in the context of a man-woman relationship, of course) ... yes, of course, there is a chance that cousins ​​​​will be born normal child. or you can live without children / adopt, but ... http://www.hameleon.su/2008_030_5_med.shtml http://for.vpcit.ru/forum/showthread.php?t=7906 http://www.taday. ru/vopros/20162/137964.html http://www.forum.citynsk.ru/archive/index.php?t-9939.html

Raspberry: wind wrote: no. when I was little, I told everyone that I would marry my cousin 🙂 but this is very early childhood. in kindergartens, too, there are many who promise what to whom ... It was the same with me, until the age of 11 I definitely dreamed of marrying my cousin !!! Well, seriously…. wind writes: yes, of course, there is a chance that cousins ​​​​will have a normal child. or you can live without children / adopt, but ... Do you need it??? There are many normal guys in the world that you can meet, love .... and this one will forever remain your brother. So think it's not only person who you can love!

Good day! I have a problem. I'm afraid of getting cancer. And this is growing into obsessive thought that doesn't leave me alone. Sometimes it comes to extreme absurdity. For example, I can think to myself: if I now have time to run into the entrance while the door is closing, then I will not get sick. And I'm running. It doesn't matter if you have bags or not. As if the brain is switched off at such moments. This has been bothering me for a long time and I want to get rid of it.

I really want a child, the guy with whom I have a close relationship does not want to, because he and his wife have children, I don’t have anyone else, he ends up not in me, but on the body, tell me how can I get pregnant from him? Is there any way to use this sperm?

When preparing for a conversation, you need to immediately decide for yourself what exactly you will need to say to your brother. After all, if he does not know about the feelings of his sister, then for sure, such a recognition will immediately puzzle him a lot. Therefore, you need to prepare in advance for a serious conversation. It often happens that a sister and brother seem to communicate humorously, that is, they exchange funny jokes play each other endlessly, and thus between them there is this feeling of affection and sympathy, which bears little resemblance to the relationship of brother and sister.

Probably every person who has a brother or sister has experienced such dubious feelings at least once in his life. But, the fact is that not everyone is aware of this report. Moreover, this is rightly considered a deviation from the norm, like non-traditional couples. To avoid irreparable mistakes and not to do stupid things that you can later regret, you just need to try to communicate with your brother as little as possible. So you can reduce the risk that feelings will flare up with renewed vigor.

Mom does not know about the love between brother and sister. How can I open my soul to her if my soul is filled with that love that has no right to exist? Forbidden love. It is necessary, somehow, to overcome yourself, to give up feelings. And I will do it. But when, I don't know.

:Here's what I'm going to do

1. Walk. Long walk, beautiful walk, but excluding alcohol. No, well, just a little, I can still afford it. So, for cheerfulness, instead of coffee, in the company.
2. Get to know others. Guys - a lot. You can also get to know someone from this set. At least, for the sake of communication, so that it would be easier to experience your problem.
3. Don't think about him. To do this, I will come up with a sea of ​​topics for reflection, so that there is something to load my already busy brain with.
4. Eat chocolates. They lift the mood. I will not abuse them, otherwise I risk getting better.
5. To smile. Difficult, but possible! I know. I'm going to give smiles to kill love, and give joy to passers-by.
6. Read books. I'll leave with my head. In lines. I read it with such interest that I don’t even remember forbidden love.
7. Live! I will live on and take from life everything that it gives and gives me. Thanks her. I love her. Here, you see how amorous I am: I have already managed to fall in love with life.

24.03.2012 — 01:19

Ruma: girls, good night!! my distant relatives had the same situation)) nothing, everything is fine with them)) they are already babysitting their grandchildren)) although I myself am against ... but this is everyone's business ...

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