Call guests for extras, show off their chic dresses, the pomp of mournful speeches and send them away hungry.
In mid-December, the Gazovik Palace of Culture, the region’s treasurers celebrated their 20th anniversary.
And it all started like this - each of the 250 employees of the Federal Treasury Department in the Orenburg Region was ordered to bring 2-3 people with them without fail. The treasurers here also turned out to be very prudent: despite the fact that the Gazovik hall is designed for 750 people. It’s just that the civil servants didn’t do their best, didn’t do enough work: the hall was more than half full. But by whom...
In the hall of the Palace of Culture, guests were greeted by such splendor: satin dresses flowing to the floor, curls bursting to freedom from under shining maces. Only the red carpet was missing. And they were all well-known people: the first to rush to arrive was Chief Federal Inspector Sergei Gavrilin, a little later the Head of the Russian Ministry of Internal Affairs for the Orenburg Region Efrem Romanov, the Prosecutor of the Orenburg Region Igor Tkachev, the Deputy Chairman of the Government of the Orenburg Region for financial and economic policy Natalya Levinson, at the very opening, the Minister of Finance of the region, Tatyana Moshkova, entered the hall.
Then thin Peter in a wig appeared on stage, and next to him were “Katya 1” and “Alexashka”. The first persons of the region alternately appeared on the stage to read congratulations and conduct award ceremonies, and then creative groups: the dance ensemble of the Orenburg Lyceum No. 4 “Fireworks”, singer Larisa Kiseleva, the ensemble “Bravissimo”, which opened the evening by performing the anthem of the Russian Treasury, and ended it - singing the old Russian romance “Wicket”. Standing out from the general, rather restrained tone of the evening was the KVN team of the Orbit Treasury. Jokes about the fact that the treasurer needs to be at work like a bayonet at 9:00, submit a report on time and be “satisfied” with only these joys of life incited the professional community; for people not privy to life “behind a closed door,” this humor was (seemingly) not close.
By the way, while they were performing on stage and singing first and second, on two huge screens to touch the guests, and government employees were shown photographs from the family archives of treasurers: here we are on the river, here I am getting married, here at work with colleagues we are interpreting about this, about that.
On a note: more than half of the servants of the regional treasury are Buzuk residents, and moreover, graduates of the Buzuluk College of Finance and Economics, the very one where Mrs. Head Marina Artsebasheva taught.
But now - two hours of the treasury's get-together are behind us. Everybody's Free. I mean guests. At the treasurers at this time, on the contrary, the most “spiritual” part of the evening began - a buffet table. It’s not the business of statesmen and wives to regale at the same table with ordinary Orenburgers, well, maybe the treasury didn’t have enough money for a buffet table “for everyone”? I won’t rack my brains over this riddle. I looked at the overseas hazel grouse, and other table decorations in the gap between the security boys, and went to defend the kilometer-long line in the wardrobe.
On September 8, Russia celebrates Financier Day. The employees of the “financial front” have been officially starting their professional holiday since 2011, when the decree “On the Day of the financier” was signed, which says that this professional holiday will be celebrated on September 8. Until that moment, financiers celebrated their holiday unofficially, but on the occasion - on September 8, Emperor Alexander the First established the Ministry of Finance of Russia.
We offer site guests anecdotes about employees related to finance.
* * *
– Yesterday I bought the book “How to Make a Million in Stocks” from you!
- Well?
- What, well? Half the pages are torn out!
- So what? Five hundred thousand is also good money.
* * *
The deputy informs his household:
- I have two bad news and one good. Firstly, we were prohibited from having an account in a foreign bank. Secondly, we can't close it. Thirdly, this bank is now ours.
* * *
The financier died, in front of the gates to heaven the Apostle Peter says to him:
- I can’t let you into heaven, you yourself understand what times are, everyone has a lot of money, influential acquaintances too, in general, all places are occupied and it’s not expected in the near future, you will have to be sent to hell.
- Wait, give me at least one night to spend the night somehow, and then you will see, I will free you half a paradise.
- Well, okay, just one night.
They sent him to heaven, and there - bankers, financiers, officials, various investors, other majors roll around like cheese in butter. He sat, thought and said:
- Gentlemen, I just got off the ground, they say that in hell the shares of Norilsk Nickel cost twice as much, Gazprom is dumped at dumping prices, and VTB is generally not recognized as a security.
We listened to him, after half an hour one packed his bags, I’ll go check, he said. An hour later there are five more. By the end of the day, paradise was empty.
The next day Peter comes and says:
- Thank you for saving me from them, I didn’t have the strength to endure it anymore, you remain in paradise.
A week passes, the financier sits, sad. Peter asks him:
- Well, what's the matter that you're sad?
- Yes, I'm sitting idle, and rumors come from the ground that shares are cheaper in hell than in the market, we should check.
* * *
A man comes to his bank manager and says:
- I want to start a small business. What should I do?
“Very simple,” the banker answers. - Buy a big one and wait.
* * *
Conversation in the investment division of the bank:
- Only crazy people can buy shares at that price!
- Well, don't take it.
- So the crazy ones will sort everything out!
* * *
A new type of lending to individuals is offered by Farewell Finance Bank. Now, even poor citizens will be able to give a bribe to an official on an especially large scale, having issued it in this bank in a mortgage, with an installment plan of ten years.
* * *
Money and finance are not the same thing: money can buy a bubble and a snack, but finance can't.
* * *
A young man gets a job at a Russian financial company. About himself he says:
- After graduating from the London School of Business and Finance, he completed an internship on risk hedging using modern financial instruments: forwards, futures, derivatives, spots.
- Eh, boy, we have other financial instruments here: kickback, hit-and-run and scam.
* * *
An old lady comes to the bank and writes a check. The clerk tells her:
- Now sign.
- But as?
- How do you sign letters and postcards?
The old lady carefully says: “I kiss you all, your grandmother Katya.”
* * *
Question: What is the best way out of the Russian crisis?
Answer: International terminal of Sheremetyevo Airport.
* * *
* * *
He opened a bank account and began saving for a rainy day.
Ten years later, a rainy day came: the bank went bankrupt...
* To access the Freebies section, please enter your credit card number.
* The bank is looking for an accountant! Reward guaranteed!!!
* When viewing new banknotes in ultraviolet rays, the inscription “Caution, ultraviolet radiation!” is visible.
* Samples of new banknote designs are available on the Federal Treasury website. You can also download a printable version there.
* Sberbank has created an Internet bank... There are also few windows and wild queues.
* LLC "...." urgently requires a chief accountant, work schedule - in three years.
* A reputable bank will rent a hole punch.
Wise thoughts of bank clerks
* An analyst is the person who today will explain to you why his yesterday’s forecasts turned out to be incorrect.
* Don't feel like going to work in the morning? Open Forbes magazine and find your name there. Didn't find it? Go ahead, get to work!
* Ordinary women have periods, but accountants have quarterly and annual periods!
* The working day is divided into “before lunch” and “before leaving”.
* It’s good to do nothing and then rest.
* To ensure that words do not diverge from deeds, you need to remain silent and do nothing.
* Business must be done.
* If you work well for 8 hours, you will be encouraged and will work 10 hours.
* Work is not a wolf, but the product of force and distance.
* No one knows more than I don’t know!
* Salary is another proof that working for others is unprofitable.
* I am an undemanding person, I don’t need much, the main thing is to have more.
* For classic boss manipulation:
- This should have been done yesterday! - the correct answer is:
- So it's too late today? Can I relax?
* How many extra words, how little extra money...
* In this world of lies and hypocrisy, it is already so difficult to deceive anyone...
* I didn't sleep all day. I didn't eat all night. It’s clear, you’re tired!
* Money starts to end, then it stops starting.
* A lot of work has been done, but things won’t work that way.
* - I work for you part-time and therefore I ask you to shout at me in a low voice.
* If you have lost something, look for it from your neighbor - you will always have time at your place.
* Talk, talk, I always yawn when I'm interested.
Congratulations to our Treasury!
Your department is more important than everyone else.
Therefore we wish you well,
May success follow you.
May heights be easy for you,
May your dreams come true.
And to go on vacation to southern latitudes
Every year you flew.
Russian Treasury
Congratulations on the holiday,
The treasury of your beloved country
You protect sacredly.
You have it set up perfectly
Strict control and accounting,
You bring to life the phrase:
A kopeck saves the ruble.
We wish you success,
And replenishment of the treasury,
So that in a rich country
We lived happily.
On the Day of the Formation of the Russian Treasury, I would like to wish you wealth and prosperity, immodest success and stability in well-being. May our country develop and grow, may our life in it become easier, more joyful and more fun every day. Let our treasury be full, let only our hearts believe in the best.
The one who monitors the Russian treasury,
I hasten to congratulate you today as soon as possible!
I wish you a successful career, big one,
May you always proudly be called treasurer!
Let there be enough money for everything in the country,
So that income exceeds expenses!
Let the salary double
So that you can make your own capital!
Congratulatory speeches
Let there be a lot today,
You are an excellent treasurer,
I've waited for my time!
The treasury is replenished
Let it be active and successful,
The whole country needs it!
And to you on this day, of course,
We hasten to wish you seriously
Endless success
Dreams coming true
Contagious laughter!
Let the Russian treasury
It's always replenished
May our glorious country
It will be as beautiful as a dream!
I wish the money would go
For the prosperity of the state,
So that everyone can live with dignity,
After all, we have the right to do this!
Treasurers celebrate
Today is your holiday.
Let the money flow
They only flow to our people.
Let the service bring joy,
Great salary.
So that our country is big
Century was rich.
Congratulations to the treasurers
Happy wonderful, glorious day!
And about our treasury
We'll sing you a song!
Good luck to all employees
We wish from the bottom of our hearts!
Because all of you, brothers,
Just a miracle - they are good!
We wish you a lot of happiness,
Always be on the level
Please accept our congratulations,
Never be sad!
Congratulate the Treasury
I'm in a hurry today
May there be good luck
Always your friend.
I wish that the treasury
Filled up, grew,
Our power is strong,
She was rich.
So that the country's budget
You led
On time salary
And they paid pensions.
I wish money
They flowed into the treasury like a river,
To have fun celebrating
You are your glorious holiday.
On this day a miracle happened,
On this day the treasury arose,
On this day, finances are all
Gained legitimacy and order.
I wish you on holiday,
So that life can pass in abundance,
So that Mother Russia,
I always increased my income!
The Russian treasury has always been rich,
Let's keep what is dear to us, sacred,
Material benefits and warmth of the soul,
Let your strength and skill increase!
Let the country grow and prosper,
Helps people be happier
Honest income, prosperity, love,
Protect the values of goodness and family!
"FAIRY TALE
ABOUT THE FEDERAL TREASURY"
With. Azov
2007
"FAIRY TALE
ABOUT THE FEDERAL TREASURY"
IN In a certain kingdom, in the Russian state, there lived a President. And he had a Russian treasury, that is, a budget. And the President could not manage himself and keep track of his treasury and ensure that Russian money was not squandered by leaders for unnecessary purposes. But the President wanted them to be sent to those sectors of the Russian economy that the Russian state needs. He thought, thought, and decided to revive the treasury service, forgotten 74 years ago. The President issued Decree No. 000 “On the Federal Treasury” dated January 1, 2001.
https://pandia.ru/text/78/240/images/image003_66.gif" width="218" height="252 src="> 
And he began to piece together his team knowledgeable people so as not to disgrace the land of Omsk. And he recruited excellent specialists into his team, from neighboring countries and the Russian state, all of unspeakable intelligence and unwritten beauty:
Fomin Serdyukov
Rita Frantsevna; Galina Nikolaevna;
https://pandia.ru/text/78/240/images/image007_34.gif" width="198" height="256 src="> Maruschak
Valentina Gennadievna;
ShestakovNefedov
Elena Ilyinichna; Olga Viktorovna;
Manzhos Olga Vyacheslavovna
etc. And they created a friendly and united team. They began to live together in this team and monitor the Russian budget so that no evil force could encroach on the treasury of the Russian budget. And the Russian treasury began to grow by leaps and bounds. Income began to flow steadily, and banks stopped using budget money, since the treasuries were on guard, and huge fines were imposed. So the Russian treasury began to forget about the sequesters, and the budget grew increasingly with surpluses.
Chief accountant" href="/text/category/glavnij_buhgalter/" rel="bookmark">chief accountant, from distant Kazakhstan, Tatyana Nikolaevna Dakhtler, to maintain treasury estimates and reporting on income and expenses. And they began to organize the work. And so that to establish budget accounting, we had to switch from one instruction to another, then 107 n, then 70 n, and now at 25 n, maybe that’s all it will be. It’s all troublesome, but we got the job done.
A " right hand“Took Nurgazin Orazaly Litovich as his deputy, and entrusted him with the management of budgetary obligations for clients of the federal budget, and for state contracts of clients, as well as accounting and execution of writs of execution, according to decisions of our fair court.
And in order to keep track of the income, they hired senior treasurer Alla Alexandrovna Kramer and Natalya Mikhailovna Kazantseva, and they began to distribute the income of the Azov region among budgets of all levels, a lot of income came in, up to 40 million rubles a year, and when they switched to a single account Treasury, all functions of income distribution were transferred to the Department's specialists.
And in order to have control over expenses, they hired another specialist - the chief treasurer, from the Kazakh land, Khoba Galina Bronislavovna, and entrusted her with the affairs of legal clients, accepting registers, authorizing payments, and making sure that every budget penny went to its intended destination.
And in order to carry out all these operations on a single treasury account, they hired two specialists - Yulia Vasilievna Fries and Galina Oktyabrinovna Putintseva. They will accept all the documents into the Center-KS program, go through it, check it, add it to the documents, and then the day can be closed. The statements will be printed and distributed to all clients so that everyone is satisfied.
And so that the equipment was always in order, they hired a leading specialist, Elena Ivanovna Salakhova. She will also take care of the equipment and provide updates for all programs. So everyone began to work together as a team. Who distributes income, who controls expenses.
And in order to create conditions for work, the Treasury allocated money so that they could buy a hut on chicken legs. So we bought this hut on chicken legs for 25 million rubles, in 1994 prices.
https://pandia.ru/text/78/240/images/image011_43.jpg" width="648" height="480 src="> Yes, it turned out to be a hut, not a hut, but a palace, which cannot be described in a fairy tale.
Windows with lights, spacious offices, where to meet clients, where to work, where to hold a meeting with colleagues, and where to celebrate a treasury holiday.
This is how we live together, we can’t get enough of each other. The team is perfect for selection: 9 beautiful young ladies, and 3 clear falcons.
Everyone is not afraid of work, everyone strives to learn everything, all the Laws and Decrees, and obediently implement everything so that the Russian budget never suffers.
They add more work to us, clients keep crying, they give them contracts, they update programs, they don’t let us get bored now, we need to learn a lot.
We try to check all the contracts and registers, all the payments and applications, we try to check everything, check the financing so that everything is sent on time, what is wrong, everything is corrected. So as not to violate the regulations, do not bring down the wrath of customers. We try to respect everyone This is what our service means.
Our clients respect us, they never offend us, everyone tries to make mistakes and correct everything.
Our Russian President chose the moment for us, he was pleased with our service and issued a Decree for us: they are transferring you, they say, to the sovereign’s service.
We are happy to serve Russia, there will always be treasuries, the best reward for us is our service, gentlemen!
I told you a fairy tale, no, it’s not a fairy tale, it’s true. If you don't believe me, check it out. You are welcome to visit us and we will treat you to tea with honey. I was just there, drinking tea with honey, it was running down my mustache, but it didn’t get into my mouth.
That’s the end of the fairy tale, but whoever read it and appreciated it,
Well done!
And I wrote this fairy tale for you, not a writer - a storyteller, but the chief treasurer of the expenditure department of the Azov German national region, .
The Day of the Formation of the Russian Treasury is a holiday in the Russian Federation, established by Decree of the President of Russia of December 8, 1992 No. 1556, celebrated annually on December 8. The system of bodies of the Federal Treasury of Russia created on this day historically originates from Ancient Rus'. It was then that the position of treasurer was born - a representative of the boyar or princely administration to manage the material assets of the state. Having gone through a long and difficult path of development, currently the priority of this state structure is to develop an optimal solution for the financial management of public resources, as well as control over the use of the country’s budget. On Treasury Day, the best employees and veterans of the Federal Treasury of Russia are traditionally congratulated and awarded.
Show congratulations
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Veterans of the Treasury,
Today they will definitely reward you
And about those who were the best
Congratulations - they say!
Many years ago this holiday
Approved by the President himself!
The Treasury is thriving
For many, many years!
Budget execution,
Manage and multiply.
So that Russia's treasury grows,
We wanted to wish!
What do we know about money and finance?
Only that they love the score,
Only that money doesn't smell
And they always expect a cold calculation.
People work in the treasury
Who know everything about money -
What kind of banknotes are there in the world?
And how many coins were minted per year?
Working with papers, cash registers,
And the declaration must be read,
Develop a budget for quarters
And make a report in January.
Those people guard the treasury,
Caring for the good of the country,
Her capital is multiplied,
And they are loyal to the treasury in life.
In the era of natural exchange
People didn't need the coin.
But time passed, the imperishable ruble was born,
And the state’s treasury grew.
And century after century the treasury service
Passed through natural selection:
Good luck awaited those who were frugal in means,
The scaffold and the ax were waiting for the spender.
Today is the treasury's birthday.
I wish you less spending;
May success lift your spirits,
Let the growth of the budget and salaries grow stronger!
They will ask us in bewilderment:
What kind of holiday is today?
We will then answer honestly:
Today is Treasury Day!
So that Russian finances
They wouldn’t “sing romances”
So that the budget is in order
For many years,
Who will be able to keep track of everything?
Well, of course, treasurers!
To all treasurers - a poem,
This short greeting!
Russian Treasury Day -
A special holiday of the country,
We need honest workers here,
Entrust the budget so that they can
Your job is not easy -
Calculations, finances, rubles,
Your task is very difficult -
Work nationwide.
We wish you good health today,
So that things are successful,
All your numbers matched
The holes are gone forever.
We donate to the Russian Treasury
On this holiday we again congratulate you.
It is not for nothing that we bring our wishes to them:
For merit, for benefit, for good.
Without labor the treasury cannot
The state should work.
Let nothing disturb the century,
Let nothing stand in the way!
Let the dawns shine like a dawn
Promising only sun and light.
Songbirds every spring
Let them give you festive greetings!
The treasury must be supervised,
And there’s a bunch of money in it!
Follow the flow of funds you
Counting profit day by day.
Not everyone can handle it
To the temptation strictly: "NO!"
We heartily congratulate you
And we send you a joyful bouquet!
Let there be a place for happiness in life
Simple and sweet little things,
We want to make dreams come true
And find what you need!
As if a trifle strums somewhere above?
Are you tired of rustling banknotes?
It's not the wind that walks on the roof,
Then the treasury began to count again!
There are a lot of things to do in the treasury,
So we want to make them a “five”,
Calculate all finances and strictly
We wish you to multiply them!
Congratulations to the treasurers
Happy wonderful, glorious day!
And about our treasury
We'll sing you a song!
Good luck to all employees
We wish from the bottom of our hearts!
Because all of you, brothers,
Just a miracle - they are good!
We wish you a lot of happiness,
Always be on the level
Please accept our congratulations,
Never be sad!
Country financial flows
Become transparent
There are no complaints
And this is so lucky!
Let the treasury be replenished
And the tributaries will increase,
To overcome all crises,
And smaller outflows!
We want to rest the soul,
And of course a hobby!
Let the best happen suddenly
Big changes!
Many, many years ago
Only you formed
And then (as now)
It was called Treasury!
And in you, as if in Baikal,
All streams flow
And then you distribute
All on time!
Glory to those in the treasury,
They carry a clear service,
Receive our congratulations
Let your hearts sing!
Many years ago the Treasury
It was formed in Mother Russia.
And here the magic began, -
Finances remain intact!
Now neither left nor around
The Russian treasury will not leave!
And we will celebrate the holiday,
And walk-walk-walk!
Russian Treasury Day -
The holiday is great for the nation,
Serves as our treasurer
A very smart man!
So that the budget does not run away,
Preserved intact
The treasurer is watching him,
With your bold look!
Congratulations were read out,
Wished you happiness
May the service be excellent
Misfortune will go to the enemies!
The treasurer was an important rank,
He walked in a long caftan,
Didn't notice anyone
I was just counting money.
Now, in the twenty-first century
People celebrate
Treasury birthday:
For financial management,
To control the state budget
This structure has been created!
A poem was read in her honor,
This short greeting!
Treasury Day is a wonderful occasion
Nice guys, drop a few lines!
How can a city, even a small one, without a treasury?
We send you the following congratulations:
Be healthy, do not know sadness,
Store your funds carefully in your country.
And prepare places for medals:
Know that people really need you!
