The brains of men and women are different, so their psychology is also different. When entering into a relationship, everyone pursues their own goal and this goal does not always coincide. Therefore, girls are very often disappointed in relationships. To achieve harmony in a relationship with a man, you need painstaking work, which requires the right behavior and, accordingly, actions. There are no instructions for relationships, but there is the experience of generations of women who created strong marriages.
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The first step to starting a relationship with a man is self-esteem. Low or high self-esteem will greatly affect your connection with a man. You need to love yourself, then your partner will be able to feel it. The main thing in this matter is not to overdo it, so as not to become a narcissist. In relationships, as in all areas of life, there must be a clearly defined goal. A man also wants to date a confident and strong woman who has her own rich life, filled with various events. He likes a girl who enjoys her life. Housewives and ladies who selflessly set the goal of life to serve the man they love have long gone out of fashion.
The next step is positioning. This stage is for those who are just about to meet their soul mate. The first impression a girl makes on a guy will play a big role in their future. If he sees a frivolous person, he is unlikely to be interested in building a family with her. The same applies to the librarian type. A girl should be able to use the external data that nature has given her and emphasize them. The preferred clothing style is casual. And the best cosmetics are those that are invisible. It is worth paying attention to the delivery of speech.
Now comes the moment of acquaintance. The girl liked the guy, she must remember that she still remains a representative of the weaker sex and the main step is made by the young man. She can provoke him to this by giving him non-verbal signs, such as a look for seven seconds, a slight smile.
Psychology of a man in a relationship with a woman: men's secrets
What to do when a relationship begins?
If there is already a partner, the question of whether the choice is correct and whether the girl really wants to connect her life is decided. Because people often pass off other people's desires as their own. They are pressured by society, family, friends with the phrases “it’s time for you to get married”, “he’s a good guy, don’t let him go”, “he will be a good husband”, etc. Therefore, it is important to listen to your inner voice.
After setting a goal, creating an image, and getting to know each other, the next stage begins - meetings. Some men at this stage offer or hint at sex, and sometimes even friendship sex, retorting that he is not yet ready for a relationship. You cannot agree to this, even thinking that someday it will be decided. You cannot agree to , and to the second, and even to the third.
At the beginning of a relationship, a girl should not write or call first. Psychology says that men are breadwinners. The more inaccessible the victim, the more interesting it is. The next rule is not to rush to respond to his messages right away, especially in the early stages. Don't meet every day. This will allow a man to appreciate the moments spent.
The guy must voice how he feels about the girl. If this topic has not been raised, the partner observes his behavior. The first thing he says when meeting any people is “this is my girlfriend Katya” or “this is Katya, my girlfriend.” If he says a friend, or just a name, that’s how he treats it. We need to discuss who you are to each other.
An ideal relationship is built on seven components, these include:
- respect;
- Love;
- confidence;
- support;
- loyalty;
- honesty;
- communication.
You need to work on relationships every day, based on the above components. Most people believe that there is no need to strain in this area.
Strong relationships are built on female wisdom. Taking offense over trifles, causing scenes and scandals is the lot of hysterics. The girl who wants to start a family will calmly discuss problems and be able to remain silent where necessary.
Respect for personal space. Most girls make a mistake at the beginning of a relationship, which then leads to an unfavorable outcome. They try to fill a person’s entire life with themselves, do not respect his boundaries, try to dictate what to do and what not to do.
Collaboration. Nothing strengthens a relationship like doing things together. This could be trips, hikes, playing sports together, solving some puzzles, and even repairs.
Wisdom of a woman
How to build an alliance with men of different ages
At the age of 30, dating begins to take on a different character. At this age, people already have some experience, most often it is unpleasant. You should not share this information with your partner. You should keep your dramas to yourself or your friends. When going on dates, forget about the past.
At the age of 30, it is easy for a girl to turn into a boring and sad person. To start a relationship, you need to not show a pessimistic attitude. The same goes for frankness.
You should not give up relationships with divorced people. The man also has a bad experience, but he wants to find his happiness. These men are not afraid of responsibility and know what they want from life.
You should not cling to a person who is not suitable. Many girls are convinced that they will never meet a worthy man, so they are in burdensome relationships. If your inner voice says that this is the wrong person, you should listen to it.
Turning 30 has its advantages - you don't have to pretend to be someone else. You can be yourself, speak honestly and openly with your partner.
After 40 years, the chances of meeting your other half decrease, but they exist. Here the recommendations do not change and remain the same as at 30 years old.
But at the age of 50, thinking already changes. This is where experience begins to play a positive role. At this age, relationships are built not on sex, but on communication. A man will look for psycho-emotional intimacy and a woman with whom he will meet old age. Preference is given to mature women.
How to make a girl chase you - psychology
Love and astrology
Relationships with Aries are full of bright colors; if he likes a girl, he will stop at nothing to get her. It is this sign that needs a strong and independent woman. To maintain such a relationship, a girl must bring thrills.
If a girl wants to start a family, she should date a Taurus. But in order to maintain a connection, you need to be faithful, be affectionate and kind. Forget about all the guys and men who came before him and don’t even mention them in conversation.
With Gemini, everything is not so simple - a lot of women revolve around him. To defeat your competitors and become that one, you must first learn to dress stylishly, be able to carry on a conversation on various topics and be his muse.
When communicating with Cancer, you cannot rush things. This person will be watching for a long time. When he is ready, he will take the big step himself.
Relationships with Leo are more complex. He always needs to demonstrate that his woman is the best. That's why he chooses the most beautiful ones. They list all their ex-girlfriends as friends and communicate with them.
To build a strong alliance with Virgo, you need to be prepared for the fact that you will have to suppress your sense of ownership. And he will come to terms with his communication with ex-girlfriends. They are very freedom-loving, so they do not limit their partner.
Libras are men who know how to give love and expect the same from their partners. To strengthen relationships and create a strong bond, a Libra man needs to constantly talk about his feelings. This man loves.
Communication with Scorpio is simple; to build a strong union you need sex, submission and honesty. They want to be relational leaders and hate being lied to.
Sagittarius prefers sexy girls. This is exactly the option where you can reveal your sexy side and not look frivolous. You should not take the initiative: as with the previous sign, Sagittarius wants to be a leader. He needs a girl of few words and someone who can listen. If a partner wants to have a Sagittarius forever, she will have to first become friends with his friends.
A relationship with Capricorn means communicating with a guy who works day and night. He loves his career very much, so trying to come between him and his profession will be futile. It will take a lot of patience and effort. For this, the girl will be rewarded, because Capricorns are loving and faithful husbands.
When communicating with an Aquarius, you can’t expect romance; they are not interested in courtship. They like parties and parties, and for them a girl is perceived as a friend. It is almost impossible to build a serious relationship with this sign, and even if there is one, it will be short-term.
You need to be extremely careful with a Pisces man; harsh statements and criticism can hurt his subtle nature. Girls who want a strong connection with Pisces should show them your love and care.
And a little about secrets...
I looked at my husband in fascination, and he did not take his admiring eyes off his mistress. He acted like a lovesick idiot...
When a man and a woman meet, they involuntarily begin to consider each other as life partners. This behavior is typical for many couples, but not everyone knows how to build a relationship correctly. In most cases, this question is resorted to by girls who want to keep their partner and make him happy. Experienced psychologists have developed a number of effective recommendations that must be taken into account.
Don't rush things
There is no need to rush, do not try to get everything at once. You cannot build a strong relationship in a week or a month, it will take more time. Otherwise, there is a risk of scaring off a man who will think that you are too intrusive.
You can have boundless sympathy and passion, but not every partner is ready to plunge headlong into the pool. This does not mean at all that the man does not want to make you a part of his life, not at all. It takes him longer to come out of his shell and reach his potential. Accept him this way, don't push him.
If you can confidently say that you have found not your soul mate, but your person, you will succeed. If the relationship begins quickly and thoughtlessly, there is a risk that the man will never open up under strong pressure or expression of feelings on your part.
Since the modern world is different from the Middle Ages, do not try to start talking about marriage after the first sex or a month of spending time together. Do not interfere with your companion’s enjoyment of the candy-bouquet period, relax and accept courtship.
There are often cases when only the girl invests in the development of a relationship. The man, in turn, wants to receive physical satisfaction and have a little fun. It is important to find out in time the true intentions of the gentleman, then understand whether you need it or not. If a man is not serious, your attempts will be in vain.
Many girls are distrustful of their newly made companion. In such cases, we recommend conducting an “investigation” at the initial stage of the relationship. However, you should not suffer from paranoid tendencies; your actions can provoke a separation.
Learn to be weak
A man's true destiny is to protect and protect his woman. Let your companion be strong; you will not always be able to regain your honor and answer the offender. A man must get “rights” over you, show himself as the head of the family and protector.The ability to be weak is not only about the ability or impossibility to fight back against the offender. We are not talking about extreme situations, but about everyday issues. Do you feel uncomfortable after arguing with your colleagues? Tell your partner about the current situation, let him take you in his arms and calm you down.
Sometimes a tight hug and words of support are enough to make a girl feel protected. Don’t try to solve pressing issues on your own; assign some of the responsibilities to your partner.
Give up ideals
Women tend to invent the image of an ideal companion, and then try to remake the man to suit their ideals. If you consider yourself to be in this category of people, stop. Learn to accept your partner for who he really is. Does a man snore loudly in his sleep or express himself inappropriately? Accept this or guide him kindly, without reproaches, and be tactful.
Use a psychological technique that will prevent analysis. Take a landscape sheet, divide it into two columns, write down positive qualities in the first, and negative qualities in the second (what you don’t like). Try to understand which traits predominate. Can you tolerate the negatives with so many positives? If yes, calm down and close your eyes to negative qualities.
Some girls claim that men do not change, but this misconception is extremely erroneous. A smart woman knows how to influence her partner in order to “sculpt” him to suit her. It is important to remember forever that ideal people a priori do not exist. A man is not perfect, you are not perfect. It’s much easier to build a serious relationship if you don’t find fault with yourself and others, try it.
A man who maintains a relationship with an idealistic woman will never be able to feel relaxed. After a certain period of time, the beautiful half will begin to suppress his manhood, as a result of which the companion will leave forever.
Let your partner provide for you
A man's destiny is to be a breadwinner and breadwinner. If a partner doubts his ability to feed his family and provide for his companion, his male ego suffers significantly. A man begins to doubt his strengths, often withdraws and becomes depressed. A woman must create all the conditions to prevent her partner from developing a similar condition.
Of course, the modern world leaves its mark on society. More and more girls are achieving heights in their careers, driving cars, buying real estate and acquiring other benefits without the participation of a man. Gone are the days when girls were considered the weaker sex.
Your main task is to encourage a man to new achievements, to become a muse for him. Your partner must understand that your future depends only on his ability to earn money. Even though you earn good money, maintain your femininity.
Learn to be happy
No man wants to spend his life with a depressed person who does not see a happy future. Stop complaining about your appearance, circumstances, colleagues, friends. Love yourself and enjoy life, no matter the situation. Stop discussing with your partner your trip to the dentist and your broken nail, look for happiness in simple things.
It is no secret that a person’s internal state directly depends on material wealth. If you are going through a difficult period of lack of money, try not to focus on it. Work, but don't overwork yourself. Strive for more, while always encouraging your partner. Say “We will succeed!” more often, give a man an incentive to live.
The most beautiful things happen unexpectedly. If you enjoy every day, your partner will begin to take on the good mood from you. In the end, you will form a happy, cheerful couple that has gone through everything without breaking down.
Find a hobby that brings you pleasure. Join a gym or swimming pool, start dancing, consider areas such as stretching, Pilates, yoga. If it is not possible to attend specialized sections, read books, listen to relaxing music. Such a life position will significantly expand your horizons. Remember how long ago you tried to start playing sports, but didn’t find time for it? It's time to act!
Eliminate scheduled sex
The main beauty of sex is that it doesn't have to be on a schedule. In the relationship between a man and a woman, not only spiritual intimacy plays an important role, but also physical intimacy. During lovemaking, partners get closer, open up to each other, say out loud what they would never talk about under normal circumstances.
Try not to dose sex, make love wherever and whenever you want, be it the kitchen table, the washing machine, the roof of a high-rise building or a fitting room in a lingerie boutique. Don’t set limits, otherwise the man will find another lady to play a supporting role.
In a relationship, it is important that companions satisfy their sexual desire, make fantasies come true and discuss possible difficulties in the intimate sphere. Try to be as open and sexy as possible, but at the same time as accessible as possible.
Don't skimp on words of praise
In order for a man’s self-esteem to be at the proper level, it is necessary to recognize his authority as the head of the family. Do not skimp on words of praise, even if it seems to you that your partner did ordinary things (washed the dishes, went to the store, etc.).
For you, such manipulations are a routine, but for him it is a reason for pride. It is important to clarify that you are obliged to express your admiration if we are talking about more serious things (buying an apartment, moving up the career ladder, acquiring a new specialty, etc.).
Talk about everything that comes to mind. “Darling, thank you for taking care of us. You are ideal man!" or “You make such delicious chicken in the oven, I’m delighted!” Don’t wait until your partner starts asking for compliments; give them often and from the heart.
This tactic works many times more effectively if you raise male authority in the presence of family and friends. It is not necessary to use hackneyed phrases, speak sincerely. Find what you really like and focus on that quality.
Stay true
No matter how trivial it may sound, many couples forget about simple things. Girls demand loyalty from men, although they themselves regularly glance to the left. If you want to build a strong relationship, remain faithful in any situation. It doesn’t matter if you had a fight or are experiencing a lack of attention, do not stoop to such baseness as cheating.Loyalty must be maintained not only in the intimate sphere, but also in life situations. For example, you know for sure that your partner is wrong. There is no need to “call” friends and relatives about this, do not expose your gentleman’s shortcomings to everyone.
Always stay close, no matter the situation. Support your man even when it seems like he won’t succeed. True love will overcome all obstacles; become a support for your partner. You will notice how the man begins to blossom before your eyes, this will be a signal that the direction has been chosen correctly.
Listen to your intuition
To build a strong connection, you need to listen to your inner voice. If the relationship between a man and a woman develops correctly, you will begin to experience an uplift, you will flutter and enjoy every day. It turns out that a strong connection inspires, energizes, and not vice versa.
Frequent quarrels and misunderstandings, which sometimes occur during grinding, take all the energy. Showing tenderness, spending time together and sex will help replenish it.
If you feel that you don’t have enough strength to do ordinary things that used to give you pleasure, run away from a man and don’t look back. Next to a loving partner, a woman should blossom, not fade.
It is not difficult to build a relationship with a man if you are attentive and devoted. Don't rush things, let your partner open up. Don’t idealize your partner, learn to be weak, let the man provide for you and protect you. Enjoy every day you pass, find a hobby that makes you happy.
Video: how to competently build relationships with men
00:00 5.11.2015
You want to be happy with a man, and this desire is normal. But how to get along with another person? How to find ways to each other and remain yourself? Psychologists Tatyana Vlasyuk and Doris Castillo Mendoza helped us understand these issues.
We all read fairy tales as children. Oh, what love there was! Cinderella and the Prince, Beauty and the Beast, Sleeping Beauty and (also) the Prince, Vasilisa the Beautiful and Ivan (Fool or Tsarevich - it doesn’t matter). Then we grew up a little, reading until we were 13-14 years old “Scarlet Sails”, where Assol finally got her Gray, the multi-volume series “Angelica”, “Gone with the Wind”, “The Thorn Birds”...
We sometimes read them at night with a flashlight under the blanket, bursting into tears of delight. And then we dreamed, dreamed, dreamed. Of course, imagining yourself in the place of the main character - what else?! At the age of 16-17 we experienced our first love, largely idealized, not always mutual, bright. Then - the second, the third... We left, left us. The earth shook under my feet, scars remained on my soul. Then, probably, you uttered for the first time mentally or out loud the phrase “all men are ...”. The synonymous series is rich and consists entirely of negative epithets.
It hurt every time, but we still fall in love again - that's life. “But the grass will grow again through all the obstacles and misfortunes. Love is a spring country, because only in it can there be happiness,” sang Larisa, the “dowry girl” in the film “Cruel Romance.” But each of us, saying goodbye to another love (always the last), asked herself Tsvetaev’s question: “My dear, what have I done to you?!”
Let's work on the mistakes. It may be hard to believe, but ideal relationships do exist. It happens, and it can happen to you too. And it doesn’t matter whether you’re just waiting for him, you’ve already met him, or you’ve been together for a long time.
“An ideal couple is two people, a man and a woman, who, being together, remain themselves. They do not play roles, do not lie or manipulate, but appear as they are. And they love this openness and trust both in themselves and in a partner." Our consultants offer several original techniques and tests that will help you understand yourself and delve into your relationship with a loved one.
How to meet the right man
Do you think the first thing you need to do is lose weight? But no! You need to start not with the external attributes of beauty, but with working on yourself.
You - the one and only: realize your own worth. When a woman values herself, it’s as if a crown appears on her head. Not arrogance and pride, but the crown of self-love.
It is your quality of love and respect for yourself that attracts the corresponding person, who, by his behavior and attitude towards you, shows how you feel about yourself. Therefore, it depends only on you what kind of man will be next to you.
Let yourself wish
There is the Law of Pure Desire, which states: “As long as we keep our intention pure, a positive outcome is guaranteed. But if we pollute our desire with fear, greed, or the desire to acquire someone else’s, it is unlikely to be realized.”
The Law of Pure Desire has five qualities:
- hope
- inspiration
- faith
- knowing that you deserve the best
- ability to retreat
And a conflict of intentions can prevent your desires from coming true. You want love. But uncertainty and anxiety cool enthusiasm and provoke feelings of fear and anxiety: “What if I do something stupid again, say something wrong, trust the wrong person? What if I fail again?”
Stop. If you want to attract love into your life, you need absolute faith that you deserve it and everything will be fine. In love, it is the firm belief that you can love and be loved.
Use affirmations: “I am worthy of love and respect,” “I can love and be loved,” “I deserve to be loved for who I am.”
Believe me, no matter what happened in the past, no matter what you thought about yourself before, you deserve love. But! To make your wish come true, give up attachment to the result. Be happy here and now, not when you meet the right person. It is very important not to focus on this. Especially when you are 30-35 years old.
In psychology there is such a concept as “closing gate panic”: I have to give birth to a child, and I have to get married - I’m late! This panic attracts into life something completely alien to you. You cannot allow yourself to despair or fuss; you need to clearly understand what you want and what you deserve. You can’t live your life constantly thinking about how to attract a man. This state repels with the same force as it attracts.
One hundred percent pleasure
“The most correct state in which a woman needs to be is to simply enjoy life, herself, her mood. After all, according to Gabriel Garcia Marquez, all the most beautiful things happen unexpectedly, when we do not expect it. This state is the correct one.
Don’t pull yourself with all your mental strength, but enjoy! The same person will come to a woman’s enjoyment of herself and life. As soon as you start devoting enough time to yourself, doing what you love, what you enjoy - going dancing, traveling, reading, listening to music, learning something new, interesting and worthy people appear around you, life gives you gifts and new ones. acquaintances,” our consultants are sure.
And, you must agree, you don’t need large financial resources to stay in such a state. Start doing what you have wanted for a long time, but never had the time.
“It is important for a woman to learn to be happy alone with herself, on her own, then she will be happy with a man. The mistake we often make is tying our happiness to a partner or an event that will happen someday.”
The world's reaction to you reflects your inner state.
All mans…
I remember the joke: “The biology teacher cried and called the pistils horned artiodactyls.” So here it is. Try to forever exclude from your vocabulary phrases (and thoughts) like “all men ...” and further along the negative synonymous series.
“To attract the right partner, you need to understand and respect each of the men around you. Learn to look at the person you meet and see something good in him, do not judge the male gender as such.
Don't judge, don't neglect, don't blame. Take it!
Enter this state and a high-level partner will be attracted to you. You will send completely different signals, project yourself differently. The result is that the man in your life will occupy the right place,” says Tatyana.
Let's enjoy the wait
This technique will help you attract the right man into your life. Practice it a couple of times a week. Choose a calm and quiet place in your home, sit or lie down, and relax. Take deep breaths and exhale several times. Feel the stress and tension sink into the floor beneath your feet. You feel warm, calm and serene.
On your next breath, imagine that five years have passed and you and your loved one are in a pleasant place. Maybe the two of you are sitting at a table in a cozy restaurant, maybe in bed. Stop for a minute and pay attention to what you are doing now - the details.
Are you married? Do you have children? Take a breath and feel the joy of this scene. Your dream has come true. You are close to your soulmate, you love each other. Let this reality fill your heart and mind. Imagine looking into his eyes and remembering what you were doing just before you met him.
Now remember the present moment again, leaving this joyful state with you. Remember that by promising yourself to make the most of every day, you have already connected with your loved one in your mind. Just as you prepare yourself for his appearance, so he prepares to meet you.
Take your last and deepest breath, and as you exhale, fold your arms to your chest. Slowly open your eyes.
Then take the time to write down the things you would really like to reminisce about with your partner, and commit to yourself to start creating those experiences right now. There is a chance that the ideas came to your mind for a reason...
Relationships at the start
You met a man. Everything is just beginning for you. Are you tormented by vague doubts? Then read on.
Time magazine, together with CNN, conducted a study. The results revealed that women are more likely than men to reject marriage or intimate relationships in anticipation of meeting the Ideal Man. And men tend to forgive a woman more if they like her appearance. But we women judge harshly and quickly. Are we winning? In fact, there are no ideal ones in nature. The ideal partner for you is the one with whom you feel as good as possible. And the first sign is when partners are comfortable in any situation. Even be silent.
I accept you...
At the initial stage of a relationship, it is important to help yourself and the new relationship. How? Agree: “Let’s accept each other as we are. If you snore, that’s okay. I’m slurping. We’re people...”
Tell yourself: “I accept my partner as a person.”
Difficult? Do one more exercise. Divide a sheet of paper in half. On the left, write what annoys you about him, what infuriates you, and on the right - everything that “turns you on”, and likes, and supports, and inspires you in him.
Look - what is actually more. And give an honest assessment - are you ready to accept this minus, looking at this plus? And what else do you need to work with to make this minus less? After all, as soon as a sock forgotten under the bed stops annoying you, it miraculously evaporates somewhere. A man can change.
Speaking of princes
“Very often, many of those who are waiting for a prince on a white horse overly idealize a man. This attitude is instilled by mothers in their daughters, because girls like fairy tales and movies about ideal relationships. They begin to live in this world and then find it very difficult to find a life partner,” - Doris remarks.
It is important to understand and realize that a man, just like a woman, can be different, ideal in some ways, not ideal in others. Allow yourself initially the possibility of being imperfect. If a woman has ideality syndrome, then she is very demanding of herself, she tries to be perfect, and wants the same ideal partner. But it may not even exist in nature.
“An idealistic woman should relax, enjoy life, allow herself to express herself in different ways, and not meet standards.
In the same way, a man - he can be better than the norms that you came up with for him. In order to figure this out, you can also sit down and pee. What is my ideal for me? How important, critical and fundamental are all these points that I wrote down for me? Basically - blond with blue eyes? Where there is categoricality, there is no longer freedom. Or maybe fate has already prepared a brunette with brown eyes for her?” Tatiana adds.
By the way, where are your wings?
Is this the same man? The answer to this question lies in the realm of intuition.
But. He is not yours if, some time after the start of your communication, you begin to feel a loss of strength. Inspiration and vital activity disappear, and quarrels and showdowns suck all the vital juices out of you. If this is grinding in, it’s not scary, because in moments of intimacy, when everything is good, partners fill each other with energy. But if there is no filling, only a constant release, a leak of energy, this is not your relationship.
On the contrary, if you feel that your wings are growing, if they compliment you on how you look younger, how cool you look, this is an indicator that your man is next to you.
Together for life
You have been a couple for a long time, the honeymoon is over. How can two realized people learn to coexist together?
When an accomplished woman meets an equally self-sufficient man, the question of compatibility of freedoms arises. Everyone is used to their own limited schedule, expressing their opinion, no one wants to obey - how can they find a common language? That's the question!
And I love looking out the window!
The first recommendation for those who are already a couple, at first glance, is simple. You need to sit down and over a cup of tea or coffee, without pretensions or any reproaches, tell each other what you like to do. But it’s easier to write lists: what each partner likes and doesn’t like.
Divide a piece of paper in half. One half is what you like, the second is what you really don’t like, what’s not yours, what you don’t like, what upsets you, brings discomfort, what upsets your other half, what makes you sad. A man and a woman write lists, then the two of them discuss them.
“I love it when you bring me coffee in the morning,” “I love it when you come home from work and tell me “Hello, mouse!” - maximum details!
The couple writes down the details of their relationship, looking through the last few years of life, to the maximum: “I love it when you water the flowers,” “I love to sit in the kitchen and be silent, looking out the window, when you respect it and don’t touch me.”
First we discuss who likes what, then the second column. “If you say that I’m inattentive, it hurts me, I get upset,” “I don’t like going to visit relatives “just for show,” “,” I don’t like pulling your socks out from under the bed.”
The task is for each partner to enter into a state of introspection as deeply as possible, think slowly, allocate at least an hour or two of time for this, and create a suitable atmosphere.
The demand “I love this, that means you do this to me, otherwise you will be guilty” is unacceptable. The conversation should not proceed in the direction of presenting claims against each other. “You know”, “it turns out”, “it seems to me” - this is a set of phrases. This work is an investment in yourself, in your relationships.
And on Saturdays we have dflop
“The second technique is family rituals. It is designed to help each other experience more states that they like. We recommend that women take the initiative to organize all this,” says Tatyana. “You can arrange a week of a certain country, a week of state: generosity, gratitude ( a week thanking each other for all the little things) or a week without comments - no matter what the husband does.”
This technique is very helpful in getting to know your partner. It seems to us that if we live together for a long time, then our partner knows what we love and what we don’t, just like us, by default, but he may not even know about it!
After all, most people are not telepaths at all! We also recommend going to concerts, movies, attending sporting events together, playing “mafia” with friends, running together, cooking dinner - not spontaneously, but on certain days, so that there are things that will later be called family traditions, couple traditions, something they only do together.
One of the recommendations is to keep a book of funny moments and joint jokes. Some things that make both of them happy. For example, if you pulled out a phrase from a movie you watched together and remembered it, write it down in a book. Or start a game like this: “When we say this phrase, we mean this” - you can play this way, for example, at a party.
In the film "What Men Talk About" - "diflop" - there is such a dish, one word, one phrase, and how much is behind it! For example, a wife is going to cook something unusual for dinner and calls the dish “diflope”. It is exquisite, there is very little of it - hence - diflop. Little things like this turn into family jokes.
You can watch films together, pull out phrases from there and apply them to situations in family life, phrases that will mean something, dilute everyday life and introduce an element of play into it. “We’re approaching the end of the month, we’ll eat diflop - it’s not enough, it’s expensive.”
And if you touch on the sexual relationship in a couple, in order to somehow renew it, you can also use the technique of rituals. For example, every Saturday, take a bath together with candles and music. Or make a silk bed on Saturday, for the whole weekend...
Touch me with your hand
Another powerful technique for a couple who have been together for a long time is to choose a week and only touch, kiss, caress each other - and not have sex. It's called the Sensory Waiting Technique. We take a bath together, dry each other with a towel, rub our backs, but no further.
After this, if the couple is really together, feelings become more intense. A honeymoon feeling appears - you touch each other as if for the first time. Men like it too, this state of foreplay, a certain expectation. By nature, a man is a conqueror, and he is interested in doing this again and again.
Rewind the film
Is there development in your couple? Rewind the film five years, ten. Then you were alone, now you are different. This development should reflect on you - on your internal state, on some material values, increasing your positive attitude, improving mutual understanding.
If you have lived a certain amount of time together, and you remember losses, illnesses, problems, conflicts - this is also a marker of how correctly you chose your partner, how harmoniously you developed, and whether you are a couple at all. In fact, development is possible without these negative aspects and serious disasters. If life sends them, it means we don’t see or understand something.
It is possible to develop more environmentally friendly. No one says that it will be calm and smooth, but nevertheless, life together can be a pleasure, with real interest, and not jumps from scandal to reconciliation.
Excessive emotional swings are the first indicator that something is wrong in a couple. Even at the very beginning of a relationship.
There may be great strong love, but if it is too bright, with jealousy, quarrels, this is an alarming signal. “When a person tries to control and manipulate another, this is not love, but an artificial attachment to oneself. It is important to understand: as soon as we catch ourselves in a state of jealousy, something is wrong in the relationship,” Tatyana is sure.
The more freedom we give our partner, the more ideal we are for each other. There is no need to be afraid to internally let go of your loved one and allow him to act according to his choice. It’s so nice to realize that this person wants to be with you according to his own sincere and free desire, and not because he is being held by the throat.
If a man pays attention to you, gives you some gifts not because he “has to,” for show, but because he just wants to please you, appreciate and take care of this attitude.
“If a man wants to take you somewhere, let’s go. If he offers something, we agree. Follow him! There’s no need to say that it’s expensive, it’s not necessary, and “I don’t like football at all and I don’t understand.” If an impulse arises, it cannot be stopped "There may not be a next one. By accepting the initiative of another person, you can build an ideal relationship," Doris is sure.
Photo in text: Shutterstock.com, Depositphotos.com
Any woman is interested in how to properly build a relationship with a man. It depends on the first steps at the beginning of acquaintance whether it will be a fleeting connection, emotional shock or a strong friendly union.
For a healthy union, you need to choose the right partner. Therefore, it is important not only to know how to properly build a relationship with a man, but also how to choose a man.
How to make a choice?
It is necessary to evaluate the man's behavior.
If he says that he really needs a woman, he cannot live without her, he cannot imagine himself without her, this seems tempting for a woman. But essentially, when a man says he can't live without her, she won't be able to live with him. Such men are jealous, strive to keep a woman under control, track her spending and movements.
If a man lavishes compliments, telling a woman that she is the best, the most extraordinary, the most whatever, then these are the words of an experienced womanizer, incapable of fidelity and devotion.
A man capable of a healthy relationship will say that he feels good with a woman, that he wants to see her next to him and go through some part of his life path with her or live his life with her. His words will not contain flattery, cheap compliments, attempts to arouse pity and provocations, since he considers the woman he has chosen to be an intelligent and reliable person who does not need empty words.
If a man is jealous, it means he is not confident in himself, his woman and people in general. Such a man first needs to resolve the issue of his self-esteem and suspiciousness, and then enter into a relationship.
If a man drinks every weekend or more often, he will sooner or later become an alcoholic. This is a fact proven by doctors and psychologists. You shouldn't even start.
An unemployed man is unreliable and helpless. He is unable to improve his own life, but he can successfully break someone else’s by sitting on his neck or pulling his partner down to his level. No need to contact him.
A man with opposite tastes is interesting at first, but then will be annoying. Not a single woman, even the strongest, has yet succeeded in remaking a man, even the weakest one. To break it - yes, to reshape it to suit yourself - no. therefore, you can be friends with such a man, enriching your horizons, but you cannot build a strong relationship with him.
If a man avoids tactile contact - kisses, hugs, touches - and does not initiate it himself, it means that not everything is in order with his physical or mental health. Psychological trauma from childhood is quite possible. It will be difficult to build a relationship with him, since he is probably a loner by nature.
Burdened with national, racial, religious, social, and material prejudices bind the personality and prevent it from developing. Next to such a person, her partner also becomes tied up and stops developing. Therefore, a man with prejudices is not the best option for a relationship.
Men should be slightly higher or equal to women in position, education, and salary. This is important for his self-esteem. A lower-ranking man can receive from a woman everything he needs for his personal growth and go in search of a woman whose presence will not remind him of a time when he was somehow worse.
How to behave in a relationship?
In any relationship there must be a calculation. To base them on emotions means to be wrong from the very beginning. Calculation does not imply self-interest; he stands on a sober assessment of the partner’s personality, his shortcomings and his ability to get along with this partner.
Relationships are similar to businesses. You need to invest time, effort, knowledge, skills, and money in them. Then they will be successful and give “profit”. Both must invest, otherwise it will not be an alliance, but a game with one goal, which will get boring very soon.
In order to properly build a relationship with a man, you need to give him an incentive to develop and support him along the way in this direction. Hobbies and self-education create an interesting personality. And it is the woman who deals most with this person. Therefore, the development of a man is her direct interest. Only a developed woman can stimulate, so we should also not forget about our self-education.
Sex should be given one of the most important roles in a relationship. Between loving people, everything is possible that suits both and brings pleasure. If a woman is shy about a man, then this is not her man.
Resentment is poisonous. They need to be discussed with your partner to avoid repetition and be forgotten forever. The best remedy for grievances is self-development classes.
An important factor for a happy relationship is commonality of views. When people meet, they have the same set of habits and tastes. As time passes, it changes. It’s good to include in your personal set what your partner likes. This brings a man and a woman closer and makes their relationship richer. Gastronomic tastes and attitudes towards children and animals are especially important, since it is on this issue that most often disputes and misunderstandings arise between people.
All comments and requests should be made in a sensitive manner. Male pride is a delicate matter that can be easily damaged. It is almost impossible to restore it later. Even great patience sooner or later runs out, and a man finds a woman who is inclined to spare his pride.
