Creating a family - It is always a very important and risky step requiring from each of the partners of responsibility, readiness and understanding of what will happen after changing the status of "free" to "married".
Very often, desire about creating Express the French representatives, making it more subtly and neatly, periodically hinting a partner on the fact that it is time to go to a new level. But it's not about planning a family, and therefore we will move for a while forward when in the already established home team begins, perhaps the most serious troubles - the danger of husband's care from the family.
Causes like events It may be both in the actions of the wife and in the ever-young and riotless brain of her husband seeking not only the missing components of family well-being, but also any new sensations or rest from home fuss and whims. The item of the new direction will be chosen depending on the specific purpose: if the man has exhausted on a passionate intimate life, he will continue to the mistress, the existence of which will ensure in advance; if
Your second half Support and furnishings are needed and familiar since childhood, the path lies in the house to parents; Well, if your chosen one in my chief, an independent, free and volitional hunter (for everyone) woke up, or he wanted to quit everything and start from scratch, then be prepared for the next time hear about him from some city in Another end of the country.
Nevertheless, not always similar begging End in full collapse of family happiness, and walking for some time, a prodigal husband will still decide to return home, most often counting on infinite thanks for reunification.
And now we approached the most important thing. the issue of this conversation: Why did the past man decided to come back, and what to do a woman in a similar case?
Causes of return to the family from the mistress
So, what made your narrowed back, from the new chosen? There are several versions on this topic: the first, and perhaps the most basic is a disappointment in your mistress. In fact, the man left the family to a woman who is not yet burdened with all downtown rolls, and is always ready for new relations, presenting itself in all its glory. However, such openness and readiness, sometimes, hides not the most pleasant or necessary moments.
For example: besides your husband, it may have a dozen other lovers, each of which does not know about the existence of the rest; Or, after a certain period of relationship with a new cavalier, the girl will decide that it is ready to become a caring wife. In this case, the man has two choices: the first is to stay with his mistress and start everything from the beginning (if she managed to interest him in a new marriage); The second option involves the return of a prodigal husband in the already created and established family to avoid the repetition of all the problems covered.
There is another reason - pity for a lonely and abandoned wife. In this case, you should try to make the returned husband not regretted your decision, give you a chance.
Causes of returning to the family from parents
Next point - husband's husband from families to parents. Not so much decides to escape from family troubles in the father's house, where you have to listen from fathers and mothers endless reproaches. But there are such situations where caring mothers with open arms will take their golden son, as they will be fed and comfortable. Here, the reasons for returning to the family will be very familiar and have more compulsory.
Forced in that way that escaped will be more pleasant and calmer listen Your intensive on the topic of any nonsense than to listen from parents of reproaches in our own insolvency.
You can also count on them ( parents) ourselves who will hold an explanatory conversation with their chance in order to form a freedom-loving walk. Well, let's not forget about pity.
Causes of returning to a family from another city
Well, the last paragraph - Moving to another city. The reasons for which a man leaves his family as far as possible, a great set: mistresses, the desire to become independent, to start life from a new sheet and so on. But the reasons for return are quite obvious and sometimes predictable.
SAMI popular - This is a failure in a new start. Trying to be independent, your beloved spent a bunch of forces, time and money, but did not achieve anything, and therefore decided to return to the spaced place. There may be another option when a runaway husband, having been one time alone, realizes what has done, and decides to return back. Well, let's not forget about pity, which invariably follows your fugitive. The only question is, it will pay attention to it, or not.
What to do a woman if a husband wants to return to the family?
The moment has come truthAnd the lost man expressed a desire to return to the family. What do you need to make an abandoned wife in this case? Accept and forgive? Or give to understand that there is no longer any need for it? Here every woman should solve herself. However, it is worth bringing some good and interesting recommendations on this topic.
First, you need talk, and calmly, without screams and scandals. In essence, without emotions, allowing reason to clearly appreciate the situation. Ask your husband, how is he going to correct the current problem, what is ready to restore your trust and what time? It is necessary to give a narrowed probation period, during which he will have to do everything that promised when talking.
During this period, do not look like you just neighbors On the room, try to somehow support your spouse so that he understands what is counting on it, and that everything is done not in vain. And if immediately after the conversation, it became clear that everything was promised simply an empty sound, then it is worth thinking about whether such relationships do you need and repeat already experienced split?
The most important thing in " rehabilitation"Process (if you are interested in it), not only to monitor what actions a husband performs, but also to analyze its actions, and correct all errors.
A good option will be frank conversation On the disadvantages of each, and the proposal of their correction, on both sides, but only without flipping, otherwise this conversation will end with nothing. The most important thing is not to try to build a strong and independent when you really need hard hand.
Not all men They love hard-to-reach women, and if a man chose you, decided to return even after care, for any reason, on your part it will not be superfluous to do everything possible so that it never regretted the choice.
These are only the main advice. describing typical situationsthat can not always be applicable to your problem, so the most important thing you can do to save your own family is to think, observe and be sensual. A man will appreciate your help in any little things and support, and in this case, he will have less reasons for ever throwing you out.
It is almost impossible to build harmonious relationships without quarrels and parting, and therefore many couples have to worry short-term separation. "What are the signs of what he will return?" - A frequent question among women who do not want to interrupt harmonious relationships.
The first signs of the return of a man
Signs that a man will come back there are a variety of. Usually, if a strong sex representative wants to resurrect relationships, he begins to go out with a woman in touch. At first it looks unobtrusively and is an elementary correspondence, but gradually the lover begins to seek meetings, and all this ends with the new turn of the novel.
Another sign that a man wants to resurrect relationships is his friendly relations with partner. If the guy is not sure that the novel should finish finally and irrevocably, he tries to keep normal relations with his passion. Moreover, former lovers communicate very often, a man is advised with his girlfriend on various issues and is always ready to help. Sometimes such a friendly communication is not in any other, but almost always it means that the man is not ready to interrupt a love relationship.
Sometimes men are trying to call jealousy and own interest from the partner. That is why they are trying to appear before former girl With a new sweetheart. Also, a man can specifically through common friends to let rumor about his new novel. Thus, with the help of elementary jealousy, a person will try to awaken the feelings in his partner, resurrecting her love.
Many girls pay attention to the fact that before the resurrection of relationships, the lover begins to appear frequently in general companies. The guy literally searches for meetings, he wants to contact the girl as much as possible with the girl. As a result, they all the time intersect at work or at parties of general friends. Sooner or later, such regular contacts will lead to the fact that people will start communicating better, building bridges to continue the relationship. Here everything will be dependent on the girl, because despite the fact that the strong floor almost always takes the first step, men always expect response from a partner, and without them they will not initiate further contact.
Very often, men wishing to resurrect relationships secretly begin to behave aggressively. In particular, they are rustling former lover, trying to attract their attention and resurrect at least some feelings in their heart.
How to behave if a man wants to return to relationships?
Of course, one desire of strong sex is not enough to resurrect feelings, because there is a consent of both parties. The girl should think about whether she wanted the resurrection of relationships, and whether her fact that a man can disappear from her life again.
If his return is perceived with joy, then you need to act carefully. First, it is not necessary to completely reject contacts with a man, but also to communicate with him too much should not. A strong sex representative should understand that the girl has other interests and plans. Secondly, it is worthwhile to behave with a beloved slightly cold and removed. In this case, an incredible desire to conquer the partner will awaken in a man, to become part of her life again. Thirdly, the girl should also play a little on jealousy, may appear in a common company with another man.
It is very important that the representative of the strong Paul understand that the vacant place next to the woman will not always be free. As soon as he understands that the lover may be happy with someone else, he will surely try to resurrect relationships. There is no way to do without a serious conversation for souls. If people have already repeatedly parted, then a woman should discuss their claims, try to emphasize that this resurrection of relations will be final.
In the first stages, after the next resurrection of relationships, a man will behave almost perfect, fading a partner with gifts and aligning his guilt. During this period, a woman should do everything possible to emphasize the integrity and harmony of relationships. When the second half will understand how important this relationship is, the desire to disappear and destroy feelings will no longer arise. Of course, gluing the destroyed relationship is forever impossible, but sometimes the feelings of partners are so strong that people can simply cannot part.
If the relationship broke out due to treason and manual design, then they should not restore them. The fact is that after reconciliation, partners will have to forget about all the insults, and it is impossible to get rid of memories of such a betrayal.
Sometimes after parting, the man most dreamed of the resurrection of relationships, but can not be admitted to himself. Wise woman will always notice a change in the behavior of the former beloved, testifying to his feelings.
Hello Dear Blog readers Self-thrustballs!
"Faced with such a situation, a woman, she is experiencing, then calms down and suddenly this former wants to return to it again. It is worth it to take or drive away from myself? " -writes Zhanna.
"My former wants to return after he left me to another girl. They were together for two years, then they broke up, she went somewhere to learn, now returned and began to call him. He told me that he could do something here, as they were happy together. After 3 months, he suddenly began to call me, at first just asked how it was doing. Then he called again, say what he thinks only about me. I still miss him and love. But I'm afraid that if I take it now, everything will repeat again, but I will be even more painful. Advise how to behave? " - Writes Victoria.
Why we cannot let go of past relationships see →.
The biggest mistake that couples can make after the break - just again fall. They mistakenly believe that if their feelings are still stronger, the second attempt to be together can work. Most do not try to understand what actually happened between them and what changes are needed. They just converge from the place where they broke up and continue.
They try to restart the relationship that did not exist before. But to repeat the same thing again and wait for a different result is the definition of madness and insaneness.
When you get milk from the refrigerator and discover that it is spoiled, you do not put it back, hoping that tomorrow will it become fresh? You want to get fresh milk and get rid of spoiled.
Practice family psychology Indicates that relations on the second round work only under the condition if partners are:
- became other people compared to those who were at the time of parting;
- preserved the qualities that attracted them to each other earlier;
- they begin to build relationships from scratch, and not just blind on the place where they diverged.
Psychological trap - the return of the lost
Although I always urge to look for positive parties in any situation, but now I have to recommend the opposite. If the former wanted to return, ignore the positive from its appearance and look for a negative. This approach will save you from repeated frustration and injuries, will show what is happening in the complete perspective.
Very easy now to get into the psychological trap, if your feelings are still strong and you have not yet met new love. Your wound is still fresh and hurts, and it seems that the return of the former is the best medicine.
If you have a sense of emotional loss, then you want to return the lost and gain the former condition. But this actually means the transition to the past, which is impossible. Yes, and is there any point in this?
If some life path led you to disappointment and pain, then why return it again? Probably, it makes sense to go different expensive, avoiding past mistakes. And then the question will be in the path whether you with the former.
Causes of Care and Returns
Is there a second chance with the former who wanted to return? It depends on the motives of its act. You can assume that it led him back conscious and proldering decision to associate his future with you, but in fact, they can move completely unsuitable, unpleasant motives.
Let's look at a few examples:
1.Poisk convenient options and reluctance to apply efforts
I will give an example from personal experience. Once upon a time I began to develop a meeting with one cavalier, but suddenly he decided to try again with his ex-girlfriend, who wanted to come together again. We broke up, and after a few months he appeared, saying that he did not work with her girlfriend. I continued to communicate with him in a friendly, and soon he told me that he wanted to try to find happiness with a colleague, which admitted to him in love.
Then he moved to working in another city, left a colleague and began to meet with a local woman, because she is always under the side and do not need to drive anywhere. So in his entire strategy, one line was traced - so that it was simple, comfortable and without extra costs.
Such a person can return to you, just because it is so easier for him than to look for someone else. What should he dial your phone number and say what is missing and thinking about you? You are already familiar, there is something formed between you, there is no need to start everything from scratch. If he is not accepted, he will simply call the next and so on. If you accept it, he will leave you again when the more convenient option comes.
2. Fears and psychological immaturity
I remembered the story that happened to our neighbor. After the year of marriage, her husband left to buy diapers with her son and did not return. Disabled the phone and did not even want to explain. Neighbor filed for divorce. A year later, he knocked on her door.
- "Why did you throw us?" She asked.
- "It was hard because of the child, you paid little attention to me, I was afraid that it would always be so. But I was not bad without you, "he replied.
Men of this type can not understand what they need in life, they are characterized by irrational fears, the inability to cope with responsibility and overcome daily difficulties, infantality, uncertainty of their goals and desires. In other words, such people can not rely on, they are unreliable and unpredictable. With them you risks after a while again get a unpleasant surprise
3. Influence of third parties
The partner leaves you under the influence of Mom, relatives and friends, but then understands that was not right. And the question arises: how much is he susceptible to influence? Is it capable of making independent decisions? Is there a guarantee that he will not give in pressure of the authority again?
4. Life circumstances
In my practice there were stories when men were forced to disperse with their beloved due to some factors dependent on them: relocation, child's illness or parent, complex financial problems, loss of work. They believed that they could not offer themselves until they had unresolved problems. Later, when their lives began to enter the usual bed, they wanted to return. Some such steam has improved again.
There may also be other wide variety of reasons that pushed the man to retire, depending on its unique circumstances and personal characteristics.
So, if the former who threw you wants to return:
- Do not give in to the first delight, look for a negative, ignore the positive.
- Find the real motives of his behavior.
- Make yourself representing what relationship you want and what kind of person you can come up.
- Determine if the answers fit on 1 and 2 points into this presentation?
- If you still decide not to drive your former, start everything from scratch, without repeating old mistakes. Otherwise, you will create a precedent that you can leave and then, as if nothing had happened, return to the previous position.
If you have doubts about you to do, when the former wanted to return, ask the advice of loved ones who you trust. Useful to know the side view. You can also contact me and I will help you understand your situation.
