More and more often there is a tendency that women are becoming earfeds in the family, and not men. This is rooted incorrectly, because Even with the Middle Ages, a strong half of humanity provided a family, and beautiful - cared for comfortable in the house. Yes, there are exceptions when girls can really earn more than their guys or husbands, which is associated with their personal traits or the warehouse of the mind. But still, if you do not feel about this small share of the population and do not want to secure the family on your own, then we will provide several advice on how to make a husband work and make money!
Successful success - the correct reason for the reason
The first thing you have to do is to make your man find a job - to determine what is the cause of his laziness or disinterest.
The main factors that affect the interest of her husband to work are considered:
- Education. Perhaps since the small years, your parents were too bad and now, in adult lifeHe is not familiar to work and earn. This is most likely the most problematic situation, because to make it bring money to the family, you will have to look for control levers.
- Feature character. Considerable proportion of men themselves are tuneaders and lazy. They do not want to work, elementary things around the house do hard. In this case, as in the previous one, you will need to look for workarounds to the re-education, which we will talk below.
- Specific position. Many guys at the start of their careers may not work out more. For example, the same servicemen or managers in large companies. At first, the earnings may simply be minimal, but with a big prospect for the future. In this case, it is not necessary to force her husband to work even more either to work, because because of this, his career could suffer greatly.
- Loss of motivation due to increased costs. If your man gets so good, and the family does not have enough money, check your income and expenses. Perhaps the lion's share of money is spent on your cosmetics, things and entertainment. In this case, make her husband work and earn even more we do not advise you, because There is a threat that he simply will lose interest in work. Analyze your monthly budget and make adjustments if you spend too much.
Perhaps interest: Effective family budget management system
With the advice of a psychologist for this occasion you can read the video below:
How to act to not harm?
Exist simple waysthat will make a man find a job or earn much more. So, to your attention those "tricks" that may solve the problem:
- Let the husband manage the family budget. If he has to independently pay for utilities, allocate money for food, child learning and other expenses, perhaps he will feel the shortage of income and think about how to work and earn more to maintain a family. Add to this I would like to make such a recommendation - show him how to lead a family budgetSo that financial management is correct.
- In no case do not make a salary on his salary, if it works so much days. It's one thing if the husband is lazy and does not want to go at all. Another thing is when a person is trying, but in this situation can not receive more money. At such moments, it is better not to make him do something, but on the contrary, praise a man and wait for change, again, if he has motivation and you feel that he himself strives to increase income.
- Stop showing that you too can work hard enough. Continue to go to work, but do not take additional part-time and do not use the ability to get an additional income. If your lazy husband has such a specific trait of character, then you do not need to develop it, showing that a wife may be in the family.
- Dream together about something great. Dream in life is the best motivation, which is about not only psychology, but also real stories from life. If you show your husband new features that you can get, earning more, it will undoubtedly give the result. As an option - instead of makeing it to do something, start to dream about resting abroad, the new car, the dacha next to the sea. Try to make this dream always in sight. Effective method - Together to draw the object of your motivation, for example, on Watman, and hang on the wall in the bedroom. So every day a man after a hard day will see, for which he needs to work and earn more.
- Try to save, but with the mind. We have already told how to save on food without harm. There are many methods on the Internet that will allow competently spending the family budget and save more. As an option - the method of jugs, very popular today.
- A man must sharpen the absence of the right amount of money. Do not try to independently infringe yourself in everything in order to somehow stretch until the next salary. We waste on everything you need, and if at a certain point your husband will not see dinner in the refrigerator, either will not be able to allocate money, to take the torn shoes with rainy autumn, it should change something in his head.
- Talk. And you tried to come to the dialogue and understand why the husband does not want to work and make money? Perhaps you do not know something, but a loved one, according to the fault of your nature can not reveal. In the family there should be an understanding and without it anyway, in any case, it is not possible to make my soul mate find a new job or try more to make money on the old one.
Just 100 years ago, the main function of the woman was the continuation of the kind, storage of a homely hearth. But the man was responsible for providing a family, for everything that concerns income. However, times are changing, and now ladies often turn out to be more successful than the second halves. Against the background of this question, how to make her husband sounds even more relevant. What techniques can come to help, and do not spoil relationships?
Why the husband does not work: the causes of an objective nature
How to make her husband work and earn, if he does not want to do this? To begin with, we will try to learn the reason why a man refuses to take on financial obligations. They can be both objective and subjective. What reasons can be called a truly serious obstacle to ambitions?
As can be seen, there is no objective reasons for a long joining house. In any case, a woman should be alarming? If a man cannot work for a long time and does not even try to earn with the help of a variety of Haltur, this is a faithful sign of the crowned crisis.
If the second half constantly walks on the interview and studies the vacancies, you should not panic. Sometimes, to find the profession of dreams need to wait a bit. Some people search for work is delayed for a couple of months, and at such periods a woman will have to have a man not only material, but also moral aid.
It is important to see that the person is in the search and wants to benefit the family. If there is no such feeling, then we are most likely about the subjective causes of men's laziness.
Why does not husband work: the reasons for a subjective nature
With this problem, the representative of weak sex faces much more often. Still, if a man is really looking for, sooner or later he will find a suitable vacancy. The same person who simply does not want to work will come up with a whole series subjective reasons for their laziness. Here are just the main of them:
Immediately it is worth saying that the halter is able to come up with a thousand excitement for his laziness. He may argue that he is insulted by the attitude of the chief, which is not appreciated in any service, and that the talents do not fully disclose to the fullest. However, all this is only an excuse, and not the causes for hack.
A decent man with a long unemployment will work on a low-paid job, just to bring home at least some money. At the same time, he will continue to look for more suitable vacancies.
It is too lazy for mostly makes men chelnting. Still, it is much easier to lie on the sofa and watch TV, rather than to improve in a specific area.
Of course, it is not easy to deal with such a feature of character, but psychologists still give a couple of tips on this occasion. How can the men's laziness be defeated and send the beloved to work?
The psychological moment is very important. A man should feel defective due to the lack of his work. However, it is impossible to continue the stick, and otherwise you can destroy the relationship. A strong sex representative should feel the guilt for the fact that he is sitting at home for a long time, but it should not completely destroy his self-esteem.
You can also connect relatives and friends, which in a humorous format should hint a man on the need to search for work.
Psychologists advise regularly communicate with a man, find out what he wants from life. If the partner has a goal, a dream, then still not so bad. Sooner or later, such a person will find the sphere in which it can be realized. But if a person is not interested in anything and does not know what he wants to do, he will always have problems with work.
How to make her husband work and earn: we find the right approach
If the lazy men do not know the borders, and the woman is tired to endure this hack, she needs to go to active actions. However, to put pressure on the second half is needed with the mind, given the characteristics of the partner's nature. Here are some of the methods of exposure:
It is possible to force a man to work with a radical way: to quit the most. If a woman will lose work, the family will still need money to pay for expenses. In such a situation, a man will be forced to enter the service. However, this sharp technique is not suitable for everyone.
Much more efficiently putting on the partner's ambitions, emphasize that he needs to move forward, to achieve something. A man should understand that while he stands in place, no about what achievements and social respect is not speech.
After the partner gets to work, it is important to support the first days of service. It is worth sympathetic to the tired man, stressing that he changes life for the better. Feeling support for the second half, the partner will work easier.
How to help your husband finding work
Psychologists emphasize that to persuade a man to go work possible, but he will do it without desire, as if from under the stick. That is why at the search phase it is impossible to do everything for a partner. If a woman finds a job, he will call himself and comes with her husband to the interview, it will not be any sense. A man should want to want to work, but to work for an increase.
What assistance to the partner in search of work will be correct in terms of long-term results?
Men need praise, and they always feel the sincerity of the relationship of a woman. If the lady throws off the beloved all jobs in a row, without thinking about his wishes, it will not lead to anything good. Moreover, the campaign on unnecessary interviews will only delay the job search.
It is also recommended to maintain a partner in everything. If he does not call from the interview, you should not lower your hands and proceed to the search new work. During this period, not only the activity of the girl, but also its sincere support. If the lady will worry about the work of a man, as his own, he will definitely find the vacancy of the dream.
Women's Energy for Men Inspiration
Undoubtedly, a long lack of work is a big stress for a man. Representatives of weak gender from childhood inspire that it should be stronger and more successful than its women. However, in modern families, sometimes the situation is different.
It is important that the woman charges a man with his psychological energy. It should show all his own kind that work will be found if you look for it. The lady should be an ambitious, active, receiving sincere pleasure from work. A man will see that a woman comes with satisfied and will surely want to immerse themselves in the world of labor with his head.
If all the efforts of the woman are in vain, and the man still sits without work, you should think about his diligence. It is possible that the partner simply does not want to work, and here without a serious conversation can not do. A strong sex representative should understand that the family is a machine that is working on the energy of both partners, and if this balance is violated, love ship can easily fail.
Marina, Rostov-on-Don
Today, the employer, and the employee impose overestimated requirements for work. The first wants to see a superravel man who does not claim special working conditions. The second is that he has limitless opportunities for self-realization. In most cases, the interests of both parties do not coincide. A person remains without work, and the desire to work at all disappears. Therefore, you need to find ways to make people work. Make it is very difficult.
Tunes in the family
In everyday life, the leaders of enterprises or relatives of the next lazy are faced with this problem. After persuasions, threats, demands, it is necessary to move to a systematic solution.
To drive a person to work, you can resort to several proven ways:
- deprive lazy financing;
- use the "whip and gingerbread" method;
- find a good motive for him;
- become an example for imitation;
- blackmail.
The life of any person depends on Finance. The easiest and most affordable method to force a negligent relative to go to work is to deprive him of existence. On the one hand, it is somewhat cruel, on the other - more effectively. Without the opportunity to buy products and so on, the lazy should want to work.
In the event that a person does not go to work, because it is unsure of itself, you can use the old proven method of "whip and gingerbread". Never do not regret the lazy. It is necessary to rigidly cut into everything that the person can not, is afraid. And after with a cute smile and a patronage view, ask about work, give advice and even sympathize.
It is very difficult to prove that the work of a person is simply necessary. To do this, we must try to find motifs that can make the lazy wanted to go working. You will have to try:
- to reveal to man the meaning of the refined work;
- help to overcome him laziness;
- do not throw it in the face possible problemsarising at work;
- constantly remind that the recognition of the defeat will not lead to anything good.
For a non-working person, a prime example of a successful relative can be a reason for finding an occupation. You can try to convince anyone can achieve serious results in the work. From the height of your experience, give some advice how to establish relationships in the team, to arrange the head to yourself, become more confident.
Very often attempts to solve such a problem do not bring the desired results. Then you should resort to the usual blackmail. If a person continues to refuse to go to work, then you will have to deprive it of certain benefits. This method is somewhat cruel, but in most cases it works.
Moiotivation
So that a person wants to work, you need to go to work in it. To do this, you have to create such conditions in which the lazy will see an incentive to work.
This will not necessarily be high pay, a convenient schedule or something like that. All methods should be aimed at changing attitudes to the obligation to work. For the development of internal incentives, you can use:
- affirmations;
- self-compliance;
- reading biographies of famous, successful personalities;
- development of Will Force;
- visualization.
Affirmations
This method is to create a kind of rule for changing its attitude to one or another process. There are things conjugate with work that can create discomfort for a person. In order to get rid of such thoughts, it is recommended to write all your fears on a piece of paper in the column. Opposite each line you need to enter opposite actions. Approximately it looks like this:
Self-pressure
To the self-sustainment it is worth resorting if a person burned in his abilities, opportunities, professional qualities. It is necessary to repeat the statements that are aimed at improving self-esteem. Each phrase must be short and have a concrete meaning. In the construction of the phrase it is impossible to use negative particles: the phrase "I do not feel bad" will not be able to change your attitude towards myself. But the expression "I feel excellent!" It has a positive attitude. Such phrases need to be repeated meaningfully, and not as a downed poem from the school book.
Biographies of famous personalities
In the development of self-motivation, the biographies of famous, successful personalities can help. This information will help to determine incentives, change the attitude of a person to a particular event associated with work. Re-reading the biography of someone from celebrities, you can find a number of moments that can make go ahead, do not stop, do not throw the work started.
Development of power of will
It has been scientifically proven that a person with a developed effort of will is able to achieve almost any goal. It helps a person to self-improve, go ahead, when I do not want to confront all negative impacts from the outside.
In order to develop their willpower, you need to do what I do not like. Delay The execution of work "For then" leads to the fact that the desired goal is not approaching, and is even more distinguished. Getting rid of this bad habit can help in developing willpower.
Permanent training will allow you to cope with the reluctance to go to work, overcome your laziness. Perform any task will be much easier.
Visualization
Scientists believe that the mental representation of what you want to help determine the motives driven by you. It is necessary to relax, close the eyes and draw a picture of what you want to get. It should be not just a drawing. If you want to have a big house, then in your imagination you must take the key, open entrance door, go to it. Mentally walk through the rooms, admire the situation in them. You can invite friends and watch a football match together on a huge TV in the living room. This technique greatly increases the desire to "roll the mountains", and makes it work to achieve the goal.
Relationships in the collective
Finding into the organization, the new person is experiencing some fear of the team with whom he will have to work. This may affect its performance. It is possible to convince a person if you competently build a business relationship with him.
- Praise will be the first motivating factor for such a person. Any employee is always nice when his efforts appreciate. If any instructions performed incentive statements and high assessments, the person will continue to try to develop. But any encouragement should have borders, i.e. it must be commensurate with the task performed.
- In order for the man "burned" at work, learn the interests of the employee. Properly selected tasks will increase the effectiveness of both the individual and the entire team. This is explained by the fact that more interesting tasks are performed easier and faster. At the beginning of the employment relationship, several tasks can be offered. And he himself will choose the most interesting for himself.
- Trying to make a person work, put specific tasks and goals. If the employee receives a clear instruction in which the timing, volumes, quality of work are prescribed, it will cope with such a task.
- It is impossible to discount encouragement for the commission. For each individual person, it can be modified. One enough good wordThe other will be happy with the cash premium, the third need to praise in front of the whole team.
- Some employees exhibit their working potential only if they feel their significance in the team. With such people it is better to negotiate. A prerequisite here is the recognition of the importance of such an employee to the whole team. For many employees, thanks for achieving certain results becomes a very strong motivating factor.
Modern stimulov systems
Today, even a working person sometimes becomes indifferent to his duties, his performance falls, the desire to go to work disappears. This may be the result of the fact that the head does not pay attention to a specific employee or in general personnel.
In the modern world, any director should create such an incentive system at which any employee will be ready to take additional work. In the near past, the Honor Board was popular. Now this concept has sunk in the summer. Replaced corporate parties, premium and promotion system.
Today there are a lot of theories, how to properly build a system of stimulating employees. All of them unites one general thought: there are certain motives that make a separate individual work better. Conditionally, they can be divided into two groups:
- material;
- intangible.
Material motifs consist of rewards and fines. For a well-done job, the head can write a prize employee. This technique is designed to stimulate an employee to achieve results in work. The director can also finf by man. Usually, this method is used when the employee systematically does not fulfill the task set before it or relates unscrupulous. Penalties can force a negligent employee to change the owl attitude to the obligations performed.
Intangible motifs
Among the intangible methods of stimulating employees, you can allocate the possibility of obtaining education at the expense of the enterprise. This will improve the skills of the employee.
Very well stimulates workers the possibility of career growth. Knowing about such a perspective, everyone tries to improve the quality of work performed.
An additional incentive to work is a friendly team. The tasks are performed much faster if there is no nervousness, unhealthy competition. Joint trips to nature, visiting theaters and concerts make the team more cohesive. It also acts as an additional incentive to work in this company.
For future employees, an intangible motive work in a particular organization is its image. In most cases, positive feedback about the company serves as the starting point for applicants. The prestigious organization can provide a person with decent working conditions.
Creative systems incentives
Any leader Vains himself choose the methods of stimulating employees. Some bosses choose individual methodswho are aimed at creating a system of motives of each specific employee. Many directors prefer to use organizational incentive methods that are aimed at improving the quality of the entire team.
Any system of incentives for work has drawbacks and difficulties. For the guideline, the main task is to create a similar system without extensive costs. In today's realities, the incentive system must be flexible and easily adjusted to the ever-changing conditions in the labor market.
Creative thinking leaders resort to such a simple and not requiring investment methods for motivating employees.
- You can punish the worst employees by handing them the joking titles and titles. An employee who constantly forgot to perform some orders for a month, the next month will become a graph of forgetting.
- Award employees who have shown good results, can be a subscription to the gym, a ticket to the theater or movie.
- Creating a gaming area for employees. Party in table football or hockey perfectly distract employees from the oppressive office atmosphere.
- Small presents from the leadership to raise the sentiment of the subordinate. It may be a cake to the dining tea in accounting or desktop calendar to each employee before the New Year.
- Providing family members of the company's employees by tickets to children's camps or sanatoriums. You can also organize trips to the circus, visits to theatrical productions.
- Prize can be replaced with an additional output. And the best employees can provide a free working schedule for a certain time with salary preservation in full.
A person to persuade a person is not so easy. Each individual requires a special approach. Depending on the reasons why a person does not want to work, you need to choose certain methods of influencing it. You need to make a person work. This is important both for himself and for the company.
Usually, main part of women Get married a man who works. But after the wedding, some representatives of the strong gender turn into a lazy. "Freeding caught, the hunter instinct is satisfied, you can relax" - they think. Some even the dishes cease to wash, considering it not a male occupation. And the wife is spinning as a squirrel in the wheel, providing and serving all family members for two.
What to do to drive muga From the sofa and make him look for work? After all, many modern families have every penny in the account, so it cannot be allowed that one of the spouses and night worked, and the second - did not consider it my duty to replenish the family budget and sat on the neck of another.
Mask work from under the stick, by threats, ultimatum and persuasion can only be on a short time. And in order to wake in the husband of the miner, it is necessary to act hestro. Do not forget folk wisdomwhich reads: "Women's force is not in aggression, but in tricks!". Just so a man does not become lazy. After all, it was also ready to once your beloved crown of the mountains for you, it means that he can now work, but to find a job, he simply has no motivation. Motivate the man will help our advice:
1. Do not care for all the cases yourself. In many modern families, there is a common budget with a shared piggy bank, where the husband and wife fold their money. Even if you are one of those women who can earn one of two, do not take the functions of the husband. You should not get on the second job, let me earn the chapter to the family itself. If you even boil on 3 works, it will not be torturing his conscience. He will just say: "What are you well done!" And it will continue to lie on the sofa all day. Remember: the insignificant man becomes only because next to him is too powerful and enterprising spouse.
2. Speak straight things that you want from him. Most of all do not like when women arrange a scandal, reproach and call, and then silent, instead of saying that he needs to do. Explain to her husband that you want and how to make life when he gets to work. List to him how much you can spend on vacation, to buy things and which sections are planning to give children. Donity your thoughts in a positive way.
3. Do not saw and do not compare. Saw a husband - not the best wayTo make it work. Especially compare it with other men. Do not put it as an example of your girlfriend's husband or your dad. Hearing the phrase of the type: "I grew up in a family where men worked, and you ..." The husband will be angry, but it will not look for a job.
4. Praise and support. The wise wife knows how to inspire and instill confidence in her husband. Men need recognition and support, but they need to praise and admire them skillfully, without busting. Instead: "You are lazy!" Or "You are not ashamed to sit on my neck?" Tell me: "No one better than you with this business will cope", "you will succeed, you are the best!". In case of failure, calm down. To the scandals and insults of men get used to and think: "Why should I strive for something, if no one respects me and does not appreciate me."
5. Help him find a job. Women easier to call their native, friends and acquaintances, they are more sociable than men. They are easier to find out through someone about the available vacancies and ask to employ a husband.
6. More often go to visit with my husband. A man who is used to lying on the sofa gets used to loneliness. He does not like to communicate with friends and does not go to visit. Do not make a husband to stay at home, let him be more among the people. Do not leave it when you go to visit your parents and girlfriends, attend theater, movie and park with him.
7. Offer to get temporarily to any work. Even if your husband has a higher education, finding a job in a specialty now is not easy. Offer him to work as a security guard or courier. "Spread on the shelves" the whole situation without reproaches, explaining that his unemployment harms the family and if he gets to any work, then his even a small salary would greatly facilitate your life. If he decides for you for such a difficult step, then only from you will depend on whether it will be in the future by the head of the security or head of the department. After all, my husband's career largely depends on the wisdom of his wife.
8. Do not let him money. If, despite the fact that you have tried to help your husband, he does not want to work and continues all day to lie on the sofa or sit on the Internet, it is likely that your chosen one Alfons. Praise, persuade and maintain such a man is useless. It is impossible forcibly to make something to do and re-educate an adult, if he himself does not want to change. Stop serving such a tuneader. Do not give him money, let him find a way to make them. Put it with ultimatum, or it is arranged to work, or you part. Divorce, of course, the extreme measure, but the method of "collecting suitcases and go to my mother" works if the husband - Alphonse is afraid of losing you.
Starting joint family life, the overwhelming majority of women believes that the main minider will be a man. And often everything is as follows. However, there are couples in which the main income provides a woman. If this happens on its initiative and arranges both spouses - there is no problem. But how to be if the woman is forced to become a "financial chapter of the family," since the husband sits without work and, it seems, is completely satisfied with life? How to make her husband work and earn?
If this situation is close to you and familiar to you - we advise you to read this article. From it you will learn:
- What type of your man is owned;
- what if the husband does not want to work;
- what "underwater" stones can be expected on the way to solve the problem;
- in what cases can be valid, and in what it is useless.
- finally, we will point out for the reasons that most often lead to the lack of initiative in men in finding work.
"Carefree unemployed" - psychology about the classification of non-working men
To determine the correct direction of actions, you need to understand what your husband is from itself. After conducting a number of studies, psychologists have established that men who do not want to work belong to one of the 5 types. It:
- Misanthrope.
- Melancholic.
- Sissy.
- Careful.
- Narcissus.
"Misanthrope", He is "noticeable." Such a guy does not want to work not because the lazy - he just does not like people. Yes, it happens so! Reasons are psychological injuries, characteristics of character and just temperament. Such a man suffers physically and emotionally, being surrounded by colleagues at work. They are not something that is unpleasant to him, rather it is annoying the need for constant communication. He does not need it, it is quite self-sufficient and is not going to let the "extra" people in his life.
Unfortunately, misanthropers do not try to hide your feelings. For this they do not like them, and they often turn out to be "Paria" with an appropriate attitude. Of course, it does not add a man's desire to go to work. Therefore, he is subconsciously (or deliberately) begins to want it to be fired and successfully creates a suitable situation. In some cases (for example, management does not want to lose such a valuable employee) Misanthropa leaves himself, without explaining the reasons.
"Melancholic". He "Romantic Sentimentalist." it sensitive type Men who are extremely painfully experiencing all their former failures. Including professional. Most of them acute responds to any criticism and remarks of the manual. Because of the biased attitude towards people, they are hard mutual language With colleagues at work.
Even hitting a good team, they may "turn out" themselves to such an extent by the imaginary ill-witness of employees, which will feel "in the enemy camp." Because of all of the above, they rarely delay in one place and every time everyone is reluctant to look for a new job. We are confident that life to them is unfair and "I still will not work with me."
"Sissy", he is the "eternal child." The infantile type, accustomed to what Mom (or parents) does for him. Hoping in adulthood, begins to wait for the same from his wife.
The reasons for such behavior are two:
- In excessive care in childhood. Mother did not give him freedom, preferring to make what she believed for him the best. Such education breaks the will and ruins the initiative. To adult life, such a man is absolutely not prepared - he needs a reliable shoulder, which he can rely on. As a rule, this shoulder belongs to his wife.
- In Potakania all desires. Your man in childhood was injured over all measures, performing any whim and without requiring nothing in return. Growing, the "eternal child" is confident that everything will receive everything, and for free and immediately. It is about to make money on a decent life, there may not be any speech, as to think about the answer to the question of how much a man should earn. Especially if parents continue financially to patronize their Greater Chado, regularly giveing \u200b\u200bhim money.
"Careful". Lives according to the principle: "We must think to think about not to be mistaken." The most interesting thing is that such men are really rarely mistaken - because almost nothing. The deep reason lies in uncertainty in their own forces and fear of incorrect actions. Usually it comes from childhood, when the parents scolded the child for the slightest guidance and did not praise for the correct actions ("Why?! Is it really not understanding?").
As a result, a slight and hardworking man is elementary afraid to make another "nonsense" and pay for this moral experience. Therefore, its potential workplace is often given less experienced, but more confident and ambitious competitor.
"Narcissus". Well earning among such "handsome" is very small. The motto in life "I am in the light of all smarter, all beautiful and more valuable!". Absolutely confident in this, even if it is exactly the opposite. He considers himself a professional extra-class, to which the rest still grow and grow. Therefore, it is often not coping with its duties and loses work. Not doubting that he was underestimated, it is sent to look for another, preferably leadership. Thanks to his self-confidence, it makes it quickly and ... also quickly loses.
As a result, comes to the "objective" conclusion that "all fools and they envy me." Therefore, it makes no sense to look for work: it still will not understand and not appreciate the whole depth of professionalism. After that, with a calm conscience, fell on the sofa with a newspaper or sit down to play computer games, providing his wife to solve financial issues.
On the usual work of "Misanthropov" will be fused only the extreme need. Therefore, they are prone to irregular earnings. If your spouse refers to this category, advise him to find a remote job. Freelance is gaining momentum and high online earnings - by no means a myth.
In the case of your spouse "Golden Hands", he may well work for himself as a private entrepreneur. Or close to engage in farming: grow in the household plot in demand and fruit cultures, homemade bird or animals. All this brings good money. In general, mass options.
"Melancholikov" regular praise and moral support. Want to know how to make a husband earn? Praise him, you often say what kind of smart, capable and independent person. Remember its former achievements and do not let the "sliding" in the discussion of failures and shortcomings. And never make fun for admitted missions. He also knows everything perfectly, and your reproaches may well become the "last drop", in which he will finally "drown".
Feel that do not pull out? This is normal. In this case, try to convince your husband to like a psychologist - professional psychological assistance will be a huge plus. As soon as a man gets to work, you will again have to encourage and inspire it as needed.
The only condition is not to turn into your husband in the Mommy. Borrowing in this role, you can lose those who have gained confidence (for yours, by the way, the score!) Of the spouse. Stay for him your beloved and desired woman, strong, but in need of protection and support.
With the "Eternal Child" Tactic Other. To force a man to work, he needs to constantly inspire the idea that he is an adult, an independent person who lies great responsibility (your family). And he is quite capable of cope with it. Moreover:
- More often tell her husband that he is reliable and responsible that in difficult situations it can always be expected.
- Gently mention how much more opportunities would have your family when excess money will appear in the budget. Please tell us beautifully what you plan to spend earned funds, of course, considering and the interests of the husband.
Important! Do not insult a man, reproaching him in the inability to find a job! Most likely he closes in himself and "reaching out" to him will become much more difficult.
With husbands - "careful" you need to act strongly. But for this you will have to get a little in the sphere of its activities. Only so you can advantageously describe all the advantages of the new work (as a rule, it always has 2-3 employment options). Be sure to say that he is an excellent specialist with great potential and successfully cope with responsibilities entrusted to him.
Why doesn't husband want to work? He is only afraid of "not to justify". Try to soften explain that mistakes are part of life. And no one is insured from them. What is normal and naturally at times wrong. And this is not a sentence, as they tried to inspire him in childhood. If you do everything right, my spouse will quickly get good work. Be prepared for the fact that a psychological support may need an employed man.
In the case of the "Narcissus", the Council is cruel, but unequivocally - not to indulge his desires and weaknesses. This means that you need to stop containing this tuneader at your own expense. Even if the wife earns more husband. Wants not only vegetable soup, porridge and bread? Let it seek the job and earns on sausage, cheese, meat and oil. It became ashamed to walk in old jeans and a T-shirt? No one bothers to find a job and dress in fashionable boutiques. Wanted to drink beer with friends or go fishing? No problem! But only for their earned money, and not for yours.
And remember, such a man will start looking for a job in one single case - if he really loves you. Make it is useless.
If all actions go down to calls on the phone and promises "That's tomorrow I will make sure" - be sure that the money in the family will still bring you alone. And the attitude towards you will be like a wallet and a "comfortable woman." If such a script does not suit you - it is better to part.
What should be ready for?
Faced with the reluctance of her husband to work and starting anything to do, a woman may face face with frankly unpleasant things. Do not be afraid to learn what, because "warned - it means armed!". So:
- You yourself are to blame for the fact that the husband does not earn enough money. Most of the women's doubtful women are trying to achieve love and gratitude from Men. All funds go to work: delicious food, sex, cleanliness in the house and fence of your beloved spouse from all discomfort. Including work. " Nothing, I myself can, but my husband will not leave me anywhere! After all, I do everything for him"! This is how such a wife thinks, enhanced in 2 works, staining the floor in the apartment to the shine, smoothing the husband a personally purchased shirt and stirring Julien from truffles with Rokfort cheese. And then sincerely does not understand why he threw it and went to the "crumular misunderstanding", which would joyfully "plow from morning to night, imagine?!", Yes, and wearing hands. Yes, therefore, it was gone that he was tired of feeling her pet, and not an adult, an independent man!
- Your husband does not love you - he just uses you. It hurts and unpleasantly realizing, especially if you lived with him for many years, and you have common children. How it turns out? Very simple: This man does not want to work. He wants to sit on your neck, whine, shout and even pick (happens). He doesn't want to eat it too - they feed, wear, dressed, "walk" into the world. Used, in the end. If despite all the efforts on your part, the man is still unemployed, think why? Most likely, he does not consider it necessary to work for you. In his opinion, you are not worthy of such victims. Now think - why do you need such a man?
- Most likely you will be dispersed. Classical situation with narcissal husbands and "Mamienician Sons". Still, because you have come to the holy! Make your favorite child! Be prepared for attacks and even intrigues. Here you will need a husband support.
- We have to show character. Pity is a bad adviser, and the assistant is even worse. Do not regret the man in the usual understanding of this word: you provide him with a "bear service". Your pity will turn him into either "smear", incapable of stable earnings or in Tirana. You will be guilty and, as practice shows, most likely alone.
- And another unpleasant "surprise" can wait for women who want to learn how to make a man make more: inability to organize a budget. And female inability. Husband just earns a normal amount of money, but the wife in the literal sense of the word transcribe them on nonsense, demanding more and more.
We very much hope that our article will help you find a right decision in a situation with unemployed husbands and get out of it with the least loss. After all, it is not easy to build a relationship and sometimes you need to go to certain risks and sacrifices. But if there is sincere and deep feelings between partners - all this pays off repeatedly and only strengthens mutual attachment and respect.
