How to determine if he has someone on the side? Lovers know this best. We interviewed women who had relationships with married people. And here is the advice they gave to their wives.
SUDDEN IMPOTENCE
My boyfriend told me that his wife bored him in bed. “The same thing, the post is solid, no variety.” No matter how trite it sounds, mistresses are turned on for bed comforts. My Edik did such things... I'm sure that when he returned home, he was no longer fit for anything. He left everything with me. So if there is less sex in a relationship, in my opinion, this is a wake-up call. No lie here, but facts are stubborn things. I am surprised at my wife, who for a long time did not know anything about what she did at night? Maybe they mutually lost interest in each other? This is my advice to wives. Alina, 26 years old
LOOK AT THE WORK
I had two married lovers. The first is a creative person, his wife got bored with his life (she had just given birth). Searched on the side of love and admiration, which was lacking at home. He spent all his free time with me, including weekends and holidays. The wife was at home with the child. He lied that with friends at the next art party. She believed that some kind of fool was not of this world, but he was an egoist. Well, what is there to advise? Do you think that if an artist, then he has only creativity and inspiration in his mind? I saw his inspiration - in bed. I recommend that wives take off their rose-colored glasses and not trust beautiful words. Look at things.
The second is a colleague. He disappeared all the time at work, came home only to spend the night. He stayed with me at work until late, sometimes went to his friends' apartment. Zhenya sang that a lot of work and you have to earn. For some reason, both in the first and in the second case, the wives called their husbands very rarely. And in my opinion, if a man suddenly has a lot of work, or something urgent, or you need to stay late - it's time to check, this leads to suspicion.
Try to make him a "surprise" - drive up suddenly, like by accident, etc. God saves the beneficiary (this is me to the fact that suddenly the husband really works hard in the sweat of his face). Svetlana, 32 years old
NEW WORDS
I was on both sides of the barricades: both a mistress and a wife whose husband "runs around." I had no idea that my husband had someone until my lover told me. I just began to notice that my new man was picking up words from my vocabulary (I'm a designer), and suddenly I had an epiphany about my husband: for the past few months he has often talked about law (his work is not related to this) and cooking. I thought at first that these were his new hobbies, but I checked just in case. Exactly! Mistress - a lawyer, advises their firm, in addition - a great lover of homemade cakes. And somehow I watched my lover walk down the street with his wife. So, he tried to walk half a length ahead of his wife, physically increasing the distance. And then I noticed the same thing. Ella, 27 years old
WHY QUICK?
I had three married lovers, all very neat, like a selection. All have families. We followed the signs carefully - hair, smells, I generally tried not to use perfume before a date (they asked). Never called them, no text messages. One of them always took me on business trips. The working legend was like this (in case of surprises, it had to cover up): “A work colleague, the coordinator of our urgent project, is traveling with me (will be, is located). Never pierced. He was very afraid that his wife would find out. When I talked to her on the phone, he fawned. In my opinion, if a man fawns, it is suspicious, we should look ... Lucienne, 30 years old
SEARCH AND FIND
Wives, shake the dust off your ears, don't trust your husbands! Everyone lies, but not everyone gets caught. If you realize yourself not as a wife, but as a Woman, you will quickly understand what's what. If something is suspected, but there are no facts, look for it. Find a second SIM card, think about it. Delayed from work - it's time to shmonat. Often travels on business trips - even more so. Turn out first-aid kits and pockets for condoms, watch what kind of underwear he wears, whether he jumps into the bathroom before leaving and after ... Go to e-mail, ICQ, read telephone transcripts, mobile phones and so on.
Dodging when you kiss him after work? Beware! Hasn't slept with you for over two weeks? It's time to take action. Why stand on ceremony with a traitor? Smell it, after all, what are you given a nose for? Do not waste money on detectives, traces of treason will definitely show up. I say this as a mistress with experience, it is impossible to hide fornication for a long time. If you still don't see it, I know for a fact that you don't want to see it! You don't want to see this! Tamara, 50 years old
HAMIT - MEANS NOT LOVE
And we were lucky with our lover. His wife did not know how to use a computer at all, so we corresponded and made appointments by e-mail. He wrote me such letters ... I don’t understand why he didn’t want to leave his wife, he didn’t love her at all. So was rude on the phone! If your husband is rude to you, you should not ignore it! I asked: does the wife not guess? He says: no, because I, they say, perfectly satisfy her at night (he was a real sexual giant). So she loses her vigilance, she thinks, I’m just a natural boor, I’m used to it ... So if a husband regularly performs his marital duties, it still doesn’t mean anything! There may be other symptoms as well. Anastasia, 28 years old
WHY SO HAPPY?
I was the mistress of my friend's husband. Yes, this is such a bastard. But I honestly fell in love, and so did he. There were three children in their family, and we decided not to change anything. But for me, the behavior of a friend is still a mystery (she never found out anything). The thing is, we made a lot of mistakes. Well, for example: I loved white lilies, he often gave them to me. And feeling guilty, and she at the same time. So my friend somehow says to me: “Listen, I can’t understand what’s the matter. I can't stand white lilies, Pashka seems to know about this, but lately he gives gifts all the time, and it's inconvenient for me to tell him to bring roses. And in general, he became so strange. He walks happy, as if he had won some prize ... "
Here it is! Dear wives, if your chosen one suddenly began to forget some important little things from your common past, do not leave it unattended. And if he, moreover, out of the blue fell into the mood of a bouquet-candy period of life - even more so. Sonya, 36 years old
LOOKING FOR A REASON TO FIGHT
My lies are usually simple. When he was about to sneak out of the house to me on a date, he began to find fault with his wife and look for a reason to quarrel, so that under the guise of being “gotten” he would leave. Usually, when asked by his wife where he soaped himself, he answered: “To his mistress.” And the wife calmed down, well, she never believed it. Cunning sometimes husbands come across, and the more cunning, the more trusting their wives are. And my white hair in the car came across a couple of times, and the seat was pushed back, and he lied on his blue eye that he didn’t give anyone a ride, but she, they say, had glitches. And she did believe! Oksana, 32 years old
NEW TECHNIQUES IN BED
I had a very sexy man, so advanced in bed. I allowed him everything. I have some erotic habits, my own style. Once he admitted to me that he began to try these habits with his wife. I was scared (didn’t want to beat him off, I’m married myself): “So she will understand that you have someone!” And he quickly stopped. So if a husband suddenly changes his usual demeanor in bed, you should pay attention to it. And one more thing: we had a strict schedule of meetings, three times a week, he taught his wife that he had business at that time. One day I couldn't meet him. But he still did not go home, he wandered somewhere so as not to arouse suspicion in his wife! Lina, 30 years old
These were advice to wives from mistresses. We hope you never need them.
Society usually makes fun of men who are cheated on by their wives.
How to explain the fact that some husbands themselves persuade their spouse to have a lover?
Who are cuckold and seqife?
In simple terms, a cuckold is a man who likes the fact that another has sex with his wife. Sexwife is a woman who agrees to such experiments.
Puppets behave completely differently. Someone needs to see the whole process of betrayal. Some enjoy watching their wife get ready for a date and then demand juicy details of the meeting.
The journalist looked at several thematic forums and publics on social networks. And this is what cuckolds and sexwife write about:
“I need advice. My wife is a sexy blonde with big breasts. Loves sex and in bed just on top. Home shy. But we love to dream. Recently I told her that in their youth, many guys stare at such sexy "aunts" like her. Especially after the army.
The wife was very aroused. And I find myself thinking that I would love to watch her have sex with a guy of 18-20 years old. Who had such an experience, tell us how best to organize everything? How to find an adequate lover?
"Bring your favorite. I sit, waiting in the car at the entrance. I watch how people walk down the street and do not suspect anything. Himself all on pins and needles.
I am waiting for the entrance door to open and my wife to come out with a satisfied, tired face and get into the car. I know that later you will read this here. I love you very much, my slut."
“We are a loving family. We are looking for a man strictly up to 30 years. Adequate, athletic build, with a member of more than 18 centimeters. VERY IMPORTANT: a certificate of the absence of STDs and a certificate of the absence of hiv and AIDS.
My wife is a gorgeous brunette. She loves blowjob without condom, so we need help.”
“I am looking for a wife on the topic. My ideas about marriage: I'm in a chastity belt, I do all the women's work around the house, besides that I earn money. Sex is forbidden to me, only to caress my wife with my tongue at her request and masturbate once a week.
The wife rests, goes about her business, meets with friends and lovers. Write to those who are interested.
Messages on thematic forums and social networks
The journalist talked about the phenomenon of cuckold and sexwife with sexologist Maxim Viktorovich Starovoitov.
- How to explain the appearance of cuckolds from the point of view of psychology and sexology?
There is a theory of masculinity and femininity, which defines some male and female traits. A cuckold is a man endowed with some feminine traits. He suffers from a certain masculine component. Therefore, such individuals are characterized by sexual behavior when they take a passive position.
The desire to be humiliated is also related to sadomasochism. After all, masochism is not necessarily whips and gags. Moral humiliation is one of the manifestations of the dominance of one partner over another.
We can also talk about the manifestation of voyeurism, if a man needs to watch his wife have sex with another. If only in this case a person is able to experience sexual satisfaction, we can say that he has a disorder of sexual preference.
Why are some men endowed with feminine features? So, there was a violation of psychosexual development in the process of growing up. The factors that influenced this may be very different.
Messages on thematic forums and social networks
I spoke with some couples where such sexual experiments are practiced. In one case, the husband refused to have sex with his wife at all, saying that he was not worthy of it.
In this case, the bisexual orientation of the husband is visible. He is not really interested in having sex with his wife himself. This does not bring sufficient satisfaction - it turns out some kind of mechanical action that does not deliver vivid sensations.
Therefore, he is looking for a lover for his wife - this is a way to make his bisexuality "legitimate". Indeed, in our society, same-sex lovers are now condemned. Because of this, men try to ignore their real preferences and start a family in order to live a "normal" life. But this "normality" does not bring them much pleasure.
Please note: many cuckolds themselves choose a lover for their wife. They don't give her a choice. It turns out that the opinion of the wife fades into the background. And, by and large, cuckolds choose a sexual object for themselves.
- And the fact that many ads indicate the desired size of the lover's penis, is it somehow connected with this?
Penis size is a fetish that emphasizes the masculinity of a partner. So that the cuckold can feel his feminine role, he is looking for a lover who has a larger dick.
Returning to the topic of sadomasochism - the knowledge that the wife's lover has a big dick allows the husband to feel even more humiliated.
- Can we say that insecure men become cuckolds?
No. Self-confidence is a personal quality. Sexual preferences are influenced not by personal qualities, but by the basic aspects of sexual development.
A successful businessman who is 100% confident in himself and his abilities may well be a cuckold. Sexuality has nothing to do with the labor or social activities of a person. Therefore, it is impossible to draw a portrait of the average cuckold - it can be anyone.
How normal is this distortion of sexuality?
Depends on what position you look at. There are three variants of the norm: individual, partnership and social. In the first case, the personal sexual needs of a person are taken into account. If he can implement them - all is well.
In the second case, we are talking about the sexual needs of the couple. If both partners are fully capable, then there is no problem either.
Well, from the point of view of social norms, such a phenomenon as cuckold is condemned and considered abnormal. For most people, the situation is absurd when a person wants to be betrayed.
Messages on thematic forums and social networks
- Here's another situation: a young man goes to visit a couple. He has sex with his wife in front of her husband.
But at the same time, the cuckold is very jealous of the lover for his wife and does not allow them to be alone for a minute. If the husband needs to go to the toilet, he takes his lover with him.
In this case, the husband has certain problems with which it would be worth contacting a specialist.
Let me explain with the example of homosexuality. It is not a disease and does not need correction. But if a person cannot accept such an orientation and he has a powerful internal conflict, then it is necessary to resolve the issue with the help of experts.
Jealousy is a negative feeling and should not be associated with sexual arousal. The husband in the story you told cannot accept himself either. On the one hand, he wants to be betrayed, on the other hand, it is still very unpleasant for him. And he needs a consultation with a sexologist.
Messages on thematic forums and social networks
- Why is the number of cuckolds actively increasing now?
There have always been men and women with abnormal sexual behavior. They do not become more or less - in any society the percentage is about the same. But when the threshold of tolerance rises in society, it is easier for people to overcome the moral barrier and realize their sexual needs.
Plus, now, in order to understand how large-scale such a phenomenon as cuckold is, it is enough to go to a thematic forum or groups on social networks. And half a century ago, how could you even know that there are husbands who persuade their wives to cheat?
What should a woman do when her husband begs her to have a lover? Agree to save the family? Or vice versa immediately file for divorce?
My opinion is this: any family where there is an abnormal development of sexuality should seek help from a specialist - a sexologist or a family psychotherapist.
In principle, there can be harmony in the cuckold family. But only if the woman has the same distortion of sexuality. If she needs to break herself and remake her moral principles in order to please her husband, nothing good will come of it. It will cause internal tension and mental discomfort in her. All this will affect not only family, but also social relations - after all, a woman feels that society condemns such behavior. She will have to live in shame.
In women, the distortion of sexuality is less common. Of those people who have problems with this, 90% are men. There is a theory that men are more variable, because they are responsible for the development of the species, but because they are responsible for its preservation.
It may be that the idea of having a lover for his wife is a tribute to fashion. The thought of this excites, and the husband thinks: “Why not try it?”. It is likely that in this case, the sexual experiment for the family will end tragically - neither the wife nor the husband will be able to forgive each other for this.
Only a specialist will help the spouses understand what is really going on in a couple. So it is up to a woman to decide whether to support absolutely all the erotic desires of her husband after consulting with an expert.
Messages on thematic forums and social networks
Messages on thematic forums and social networks
Once upon a time, lovers were called people who have a violent or tender passion for each other. Often they might not even have sexual intercourse, they had enough touching tender relationships with each other.
This was the reason for writing surprisingly touching or powerful literary works, the emergence of romantic stories. And quite imperceptibly, the status of such a person from the beautiful sublime passed into the mundane and forbidden, leaving only the physical instead of the spiritual binder. And now such connections appear in life out of boredom, out of curiosity or for drama.
Statistics say that the average age of the fairer sex when she gets a partner on the side is usually 30 years or more. Why do women have lovers? The psychology of men and women is completely different in a situation where someone appears on the side.
For men, cheating is a search for something new, still unknown, a kind of variety. For a lady, these are attempts to make up for what her man does not provide, whether it be financial, emotional or any other need. And very often beautiful ladies cheat out of desperation.
It happens that the spouse does not even understand what is happening, because at this time his wife behaves almost flawlessly. She is a wonderful hostess, takes care of herself more and looks better, she is always in a great mood and has fewer complaints about her husband. Even self-esteem goes up.
And this is so because she is no longer so attached to her man and is not afraid to lose him, because she already rejoices in connection on the side. And since there she already gets enough of what she needs in marriage with her partner, she is no longer so dependent on him.
Common reasons for the appearance of a lover
Why does a woman take a lover? Let's figure out what pushes her to treason
- Boredom. If the spouse does not devote time to her, is completely in his own affairs, no matter how important they may be, his wife will look for entertainment at this time, especially if she does not work and spends most of her time at home. The more he goes into his life, the more likely that his wife at this time will begin to build her life, and every month they will move away from each other more.
- Sexual dissatisfaction. There are few people who will not be disturbed by the monotony of their sexual life in marriage. When people know each other so well that they can predict every subsequent action, every word - it becomes not interesting, the effect of novelty in relationships disappears. Movements are brought to automatism, become memorized and devoid of emotions. Annoyance accumulates and the search for satisfaction begins.
- Conquest of a new object. Among the female sex there are hunters no worse than men. In the traditional sense, we see a hunter in a man. but there are ladies who need to constantly test their feminine charms, constantly assert themselves in their role as a goddess, indestructible, plunging crowds of admirers to their feet with one glance. Then a new friend will be natural and inevitable, it's only a matter of time. Moreover, the result is sometimes not as interesting as the process itself.
- Curiosity. Why does a married woman need a lover, if not to satisfy her eternal curiosity? When it is impossible, it is a hundred times more interesting, even if in reality not everything is so tempting, but the ban itself gives spice to victory.
- Financial side. It doesn’t sound very nice, but the gentleman can give his beloved such gifts and material support that the spouse will not be able to. Moreover, considering his wife as his property, on which you can especially not spend money. Not like a new lover - who seeks to keep his girlfriend and goes to spending, sometimes excessive.
The reasons why a lady who is already married need a lover are actually many, and diverse: emotional, social, domestic, sexual and others.
If she is looking for something missing on the side, has she already tried everything. to get it in the family? Does the spouse know about her needs? Is he able to satisfy them, being physically healthy and mentally sound? Are the needs of the lady herself overestimated, for whom, no matter how much everything is received, it will always be not enough? If a friend gives what her husband does not give, what keeps her close to her legal partner and why does she not try to solve her difficulties with her husband so as not to rush into an affair with another like an anesthetic? There are a lot of questions on this topic, a good part of them are rhetorical.
Married women, when they rush into a relationship on the side, prefer that a married lover become their partner - this way she will save herself from unnecessary showdowns, promises that she cannot fulfill, claims from his side.
Some statistics
- 57% of girls who have a connection outside the family experienced feelings for their partners, up to love. What can not be said about men who have connections on the side.
- Ladies who work full time in an office are more likely to have a lover than housewives or people who work from home.
- By the age of 40, 47% of office wives and 27% of non-office wives had a relationship outside of marriage. Moreover, 57% of working ladies first met their non-spouse at work.
Pros and cons of having a lover
Why do wives have affairs outside of marriage and what does it give them, and most importantly, what risks does this involve for them and their marriage.
- It takes a lot of effort to hide a friend from the family.
- You need to constantly monitor yourself, your appearance, behavior, play passionate sensations, control your diary in order to plan meetings with your loved one unnoticed.
- A constant, enduring feeling of anxiety that this may be known to people significant to you, at any, most unexpected moment.
- The possibility of catching something unpleasant (in terms of sexually transmitted diseases), the risk of becoming pregnant from a new partner. In the end, sex may either not be as good as expected, or it may turn into the same routine that awaits at home, in bed with a spouse.
- And the most painful risk is the possibility of destroying your marriage, irreversibly. Husbands are not always able to forgive their wife and accepted her after a stranger, there remains a risk of not washing off the stain in their future life together.
conclusions
Why can a married woman commit adultery? The reason for this may be disappointment in a partner, in one's own choice, in the feelings that have arisen. Or too early marriage, when at first they were completely different people, but over time they turned out to be so alien to each other that it turned out to be impossible to change anything.
A wife always experiences her loneliness very hard, even if her husband is next to her. Physically, but not present in her inner life. She can splash out her discontent by going to some thematic forum of offended wives, but someday this will not seem enough to her, and then he will appear. After all, why should a woman who is completely satisfied with her family life look for some feelings and connections outside of her? Will she need another if she is happy with her partner here and now?
If you analyze the reasons why people get lovers and try to understand what can be done about it, then it is quite possible to improve your married life. It is important at the same time to be open and talk about your dissatisfaction, resentment, expectations.
Many women have almost come to terms with the fact that their man is capable of starting an office romance or, in other words, having a mistress. Such situations most often arise when a man spends almost all his time at work, not paying attention to his family.
If you know for sure that your lover is cheating on you, we have selected psychologist's advice on this issue:
- Try to analyze what could be the reasons for betrayal. Most often, the reason for a man's infidelity is dissatisfaction with family relationships. Try to understand in what period your marriage could have undergone a crisis.
- After the husband has committed a betrayal, the wife has a large number of questions, and especially if the husband and mistress spend a lot of time together, since they work in the same place. Of course, the usual tantrum and throwing your spouse's things through the window will in no way help in this problem. Understand yourself, your feelings, and make a choice whether you agree to forgive betrayal and live with this person after all this. If you have firmly decided that you do not want your husband to have another woman at work, you will need to fight for the relationship.
How to be and how to behave?
You need to remain calm, you should not devote relatives and friends to your family problems, interfere with strangers and children, behave as if nothing had happened. If you endure these trials steadfastly and do not focus on the fact that your husband has a mistress, he will return to you.
What to do?
If the wife has already found out that her husband has a mistress at work, and still wants to save her relationship.
Any tantrums are prohibited here. You need to carefully think about the problem that has arisen, and realize for what reasons the spouse could have a mistress at work and who is actually to blame for this. Only then is it possible to find the most correct way to solve this problem.
Naturally, the wives will always initially blame not their spouse, but the mistress herself. And some of them place all the blame and responsibility on the man. But at the same time, almost no one thinks that perhaps the fault lies with the wife herself.
Of course, most of the blame, for obvious reasons, should fall on the shoulders of the man, because it was the husband who cheated with a colleague at work, not thinking about his family and his wife's feelings.
what should a wife do if her husband works with a former mistress?
This point is very important, because when the wife finds out all the positive and negative features of her husband's mistress, after that she can rehabilitate herself on her own. Here, in no case should one forget about a serious calm conversation with the man himself, because such a problem cannot be solved without his personal presence. It is better for him to explain the essence of the problem in an intelligible and as calm manner as possible.
Thus, if it so happened that a loved one, during a certain period of living together, got a mistress at work, where he practically lives, in no case should one give in to panic. First of all, it is necessary to decide whether such a person is worth returning to the family.
How to save a husband from mistresses
There are some effective tips that will help save your spouse from the desire to start an affair on the side.
- Keep your loved one busy with family activities so that he absolutely does not have enough time for novels on the side. Repair work, raising children, the need to earn more money, a long vacation with the whole family - all this requires the maximum return from a man. If he is a good spouse, he will make a choice in favor of the family, if not, then you should move on to other methods.
2. Wake up in a man a squeamish attitude towards other women in general or towards a certain person - his mistress. The method works if he does not know that you are aware of the betrayal.
3. Do you personally know this lovebird? Amazing! Tell your spouse, as if by chance, that she is stupid, make her suspicious about possible windiness and inconstancy in bed and, for greater effect, about her venereal diseases. The essence of this method is simple. A man is unlikely to want to have a close relationship with such a person. And his decision can be helped by playing a dirty game of gossip and fiction.
How to behave absolutely not worth it?
Now we wrote about how to do it. Unfortunately, very few women actually follow this advice. In fact, everything looks terrible at times. What should never be done:
1. Beg your husband not to leave the family. You will achieve nothing by this but disrespect and ridicule.
2. Try to meet this woman. Yes, the desire to speak out, to expel her by all possible methods is understandable, but this will not achieve anything: except that you can cause self-pity and grins in your address. If you really want to throw out anger, pour out emotions in some other way.
3. Try to change for evil. Is it worth it? By doing this, you only make things worse for yourself, this will not solve the problem, but only worsen it, and there is also a big risk of catching infections. By the way, it doesn’t hurt to get tested for STDs as soon as you find out that your husband is cheating on you.
4. Complain to everyone around. It also will not cause positive emotions towards you. You can ruin your relationship with them, and then you have to look for new friends.
Why is this happening
After conducting a series of social surveys, professional psychologists concluded that men of different age categories are looking for lovers for absolutely different reasons.
1. Young husbands who are not yet twenty years old raise their self-esteem in this way. The guy got married early, so he does not see anything wrong with treason, because he considers this process as the conquest of a woman by a man.
2. A man under the age of 45 already manages to realize most of his plans for life. But very often his sexual desires remain unfulfilled, this factor makes him think about treason.
3. The largest number of male infidelities falls on the age after 50 years. Why do men over 50 find lovers? It's simple - old age will come soon, and who does not dream of feeling young and full of vitality again. These pleasant feelings are quite capable of giving a young girl. Therefore, most often, in this case, it is they who become desirable for married men.
How to keep love after cheating spouse
To understand why the passion has faded, you need to analyze the feelings between the spouses. To do this, it is necessary to determine what is still common between them: do the spouses have common hobbies and interests, do they like to spend a lot of time together.
Problems in sex can begin due to the lack of close relationships. We must make an effort to save each other's feelings, to make the spouse fall in love with you again. If the marriage is to be saved, the spouses must start talking to each other. Don't ignore problems, but be open about what goes wrong. In order to fall in love with a man again, in all respects, one must strive for intimacy.
Feelings quickly fade in a legal marriage based on sexual affection alone. In the beginning, people succumb to the influence of hormones, and see the world more vividly, and emotions seem insanely exciting and real. But they can fade as quickly as they started. Ideal relationships in bed should be combined with close and friendly feelings in everyday life.
It is necessary to be attentive to the partner, to be the best wife for him, to observe how he changes for the better. After all, nothing is given to us forever, life always flows and changes with time.
The fact that once a husband or wife did not love each other does not mean anything, over time they will be able to love, or vice versa. If at the beginning of a relationship a few minutes of foreplay were enough, this does not guarantee that after a while, everything will be exactly the same. Fortunately, most couples are not with each other just because of sexual needs. After several years of living together, a married couple has a lot in common, problems in sex can be solved if both partners sincerely want it. In the matter of intimate relationships, it is better not to deceive each other. If something goes wrong, it's best to speak sincerely about it right away.
Not only men change, but women too. Society is gradually coming to the conclusion that both sexes are polygamous. What pushes people to change? All reasons can be described as a person's desire to become happier. If a woman decides to cheat, then her relationship with her husband is really far from ideal. And here you will have to decide where to meet your lover if the woman is married and needs to hide from her husband.
Women's site site is not going to talk about how bad things are done. Each reader has her own head on her shoulders, so she must think with her, make decisions and be responsible for the consequences of her actions.
If a woman decides to cheat, then, most likely, some of her essential desires have not been satisfied by her husband for a long time. She asked him for something for a long time, for a long time she tried to come to terms with the lack of satisfied needs, but in the end she realized that she could not live without something, because of which she agreed to cheat. The appearance of a lover does not mean that a woman has decided to leave her husband. Often she simply compensates for the lack of those moments that she badly needs, but her husband does not want to understand their importance. In rare cases, women do not make lovers for themselves, but future husbands whom they choose until they break off their previous marriages.
Since a love affair on the side will be negatively perceived by the husband, the woman will have to deceive, hide, play up and maintain relationships with two men in various ways. If a lover can know about the presence of a husband in his wife, then the husband definitely should not know about the presence of a lover in his wife. That is why you will have to look for places where love meetings can happen and pass without fear of being discovered.
Why is there a desire to change?
Women are much harder to decide on treason. If this happens for the first time, then a woman may hesitate for a long time before she starts dating someone. Why does a woman have a desire to change? This needs to be known not only to men who want to understand their own mistakes, but also to women who do not understand the motives of their behavior:
- Selfishness and desire to satisfy their desires. As already mentioned, if the official spouse does not give a woman what she urgently needs, then she will endure for a long time. However, at some point in her life a man will appear who will offer her to satisfy her desires. And then she can't resist. Even if she hesitates at first, she will sooner or later fail. A woman whose desires are not satisfied by her husband will give in to the proposals of her lover.
- sexual satisfaction. In rare cases, a woman succumbs to the sexual impulses of another man. However, if there has been no sex between spouses for a long time in the family, or the husband satisfies only his physiological needs, ignoring the desires of his wife, then she may succumb to temptation. However, this decision will not be spontaneous. At first, the wife will hesitate.
- Cooling of the senses. There are also couples who live with each other, but have not loved for a long time. Passion, love, affection have long since disappeared between them. Rather, they are united by habit and an established life, when they practically do not interfere with each other. However, a woman cannot live without feelings. She needs emotions, affection, love, compliments and various pleasant confessions. If a man appears on her horizon who begins to show feelings for her, she will not be able to resist.
- Spouse change. In a long enough relationship, husbands often begin to cheat. They are already bored with sex with their wives, they also do not get anything in a relationship, they are simply tired of everyday life and family problems. If wives know that their husbands are cheating on them, then they themselves may soon begin to go to the left.
- Resentment against her husband. Husbands are often authoritarians or tyrants who humiliate and insult their wives in various ways. Such ladies can accumulate resentment inside for their husbands. However, they may soon get tired of doing all this, so they will go to the left.
Another woman can decide to cheat when she already broke up with her husband in her head. Not all marriages will last forever. It is not always possible for spouses to live in such a way that their basic needs and desires are realized. If the relationship between spouses is very strained, breaks off and will soon come to its finale, then a woman can begin to prepare for herself a “fertile ground” on which she will land when she becomes free. Thus, a lover is needed not for the temporary satisfaction of one's desires, but for a permanent relationship. If this desire is mutual, then a woman should not be ashamed of having taken a lover while she is married, if she already intends to leave her husband and go to a new lover.
How to get rid of guilt?
In general, women are more prone to feelings of guilt when they have lovers than men. However, this feeling needs to be said goodbye. If you decide to have a secret relationship, then it is better to satisfy your needs so that your husband does not know about it. And here the feeling of guilt will definitely interfere.
So that the secret relationship does not become obvious, especially if the woman does not intend to reveal it to her husband and get divorced, then you should be extremely careful. What needs to be done?
- Remember that you have got a lover, not a beloved man. This means that feelings here will be inappropriate. Love your husband, and in front of your lover, play with feelings, but do not fall in love. Also do not forget that a lover can be temporary. This should further encourage you to be careful if you do not want to lose your husband to a man who is also not going to stay in a relationship with you.
- Meetings should be when it is convenient for you. You will not always be able to explain to your husband where you disappeared, why you did not come home on time. It's good if you have friends who can give you an alibi. It’s good if you have a job that involves an irregular work schedule or business trips.
- Meetings should take place in a place far from home. You can meet with a lover in his house. You can rent a room for a couple of hours. However, these should be places that you and your husband have never been to and where your mutual acquaintances do not go.
- Arrange meetings with your lover in advance. This will allow you not to contact him, and your husband will not know about your arrangements.
- Avoid such men and do not make them lovers: obsessive, amorous, quick-tempered, ill-conceived, jealous and stupid. Why? Because such a gentleman may soon wish to divorce you from your husband so that you become only him. Do you need it?
- Get a lover who will satisfy your desires. You probably have reasons why you decided to cheat on your husband. If, when meeting your future husband, you chose a man who is more or less suitable for you, then when choosing a lover, you can twist your nose until one appears who can fully satisfy those needs that your husband does not satisfy. If the lover doesn't suit you, then don't date him anymore. Get yourself another boyfriend, you don’t need to suffer with a lover just because you slept with him or have already chosen him.
A lover can be called a toy that you choose so that it suits you completely. This is exactly how men treat mistresses, who are deliberately chosen in order to satisfy their specific needs. If a man does not love a woman, then he treats her like a thing. By and large, a woman should also treat her lover as a thing that should completely suit her.
What threatens exposure?
A woman should be careful and careful while she meets her lover. If she does not want to be exposed, then you need to think through every step. First, you should start by understanding for yourself whether you really need a lover. If you love your husband, want to be with him, there are simply problems that push you to cheat, then it’s better to take care of your official relationship, and not aggravate the situation with betrayal.
If a woman decides to cheat, then she must protect herself, otherwise discovering the truth threatens many things: a husband can deprive a woman of security, divorce her, take away property, if possible, etc. If you have already decided to cheat, then constantly keep your head included. If you start to soar in the clouds or rejoice for reasons incomprehensible to your husband, then you will definitely give yourself away.
In order not to expose yourself, follow these recommendations:
- Don't change your behavior. Since you started dating your lover, you won't be home for a while. This time should be insignificant and quite justified: either you are at work, or you went away for a couple of hours to see your girlfriends, etc.
- Don't change your relationship with your husband. If you sawed your husband, then you should continue to saw. If you loved your husband, then you should continue to love. Your behavior towards your husband should remain unchanged.
- Change your appearance with your husband. Since, due to the presence of a lover, you naturally want to put yourself in order, be beautiful, update your wardrobe, then connect your husband to this process. Say, they say, they understood how they got better over the years of family life and faded, that they decided to take care of themselves. Offer to start going to the gym together, help you choose new clothes, buy you new cosmetics, etc. Your husband will refuse many offers, which is good. Your lover can give you gifts in the form of new clothes or cosmetics, as well as a gym membership, they say, you bought all this with your own money.
- Don't take your lover home. This is strictly prohibited. First, your husband can catch you. Secondly, neighbors can see you and tell your husband about everything. Thirdly, the husband may suspect that a stranger is in the house and start asking you questions or following you. Fourthly, a lover can fall in love with you and, in order to beat you off from your husband, he will come to your house.
What should be a lover?
Whom to choose as a lover is up to the woman to decide. Everything corresponds to your tastes and desires that you satisfy. However, you should choose a man who will understand that you will rarely see each other so as not to arouse suspicion, and your relationship should also be kept secret. It is good to choose a married lover, as he, too, will be willing to keep your relationship secret.
You can choose a lover who has his own apartment and car. Mama's sons and amorous gentlemen are generally not suitable for the role of lovers.
Where will you end up meeting your lover?
For meetings with a lover, choose places where your husband and mutual acquaintances never go. It is better to meet on the other side of the city or in those establishments that are considered unacceptable for your husband to visit (or simply not affordable if he is poor and your lover is rich). It’s good if you travel in your lover’s car or in a taxi so that your husband doesn’t accidentally see you together.
