Beautiful, independent, self-confident, with a flying gait, she walks past a man, and he immediately falls in love with her. And, of course, he begins to seek it. Actively, beautifully, not trivial and necessarily for show in front of everyone. And all why? Because she “is all like Dolce Gabbana”, confident in herself, she is not shy in front of men, she does not meet, she does not keep promises, since a woman is not forbidden to be a little bitchy, and in general she owes nothing to anyone.
Hundreds and thousands of women accepted such a scenario for themselves as the best and, having fed it with a huge number of articles on the topic that a woman does not owe anything to anyone, they firmly believe that they will really be happy.
I do not like to act as a destroyer of legends, but, in my opinion, this is one of the most dangerous delusions of women and girls, which can greatly affect the quality of their life. Why?
The first reason is the bar a person sets for their achievements. And here it is no longer so important what we are talking about - about a worthy man with whom you can safely start a family, or about any other achievements, be it a career or success in any other field. If you look at the biographies of great women or famous athletes, or entrepreneurs who have achieved significant success in their lives, you can see that none of them received everything that they have, for nothing, just like that. Each made special efforts, efforts for this, and, above all, made increased demands on himself. None of the successful people said, "I didn't owe anyone anything, and that's why I achieved everything." On the contrary, these people felt that they should create their own future, should train, should work at least better than others, and therefore they won. Sounds too pretentious? Maybe.
The phrase "I owe nothing to anyone" is one of the most dangerous female delusions
But even if we do not talk about world sports stars or billionaires, but simply cite as an example women who have successfully married a wonderful, worthy man, and who are already living the life that others only dream of: have a home, children and truly a strong marriage, even in this case, not one of them said: "I am a woman, and I do not owe anything to anyone." At the very least, she had to do her own nails, wash her hair regularly, and dress decently. And after that, the question of the level that a person claims to be again arises. It depends on who has what requests: if a woman wants for herself an uneducated, not very clean and tidy, unemployed man with a craving for beer and insults, then in this case, of course, for such a character you can not really try. But if a woman claims to someone at a higher level, a more significant rank and with a more serious income, if a woman plans to become his wife, have children from him and show these children an example of a happy family, then she is definitely something, but she must. Perhaps not for others, but for your own happiness and for your happy future.
Reason number two. The phrase "I owe nothing to anyone" is, among other things, absolutely asocial and inapplicable to real life. Every person lives in a society according to certain established rules. For example, there is some agreement between neighbors not to make noise at night and, for example, not to use the elevator instead of the toilet. You can say: “I don’t owe anything to anyone” and break these rules, but then again the question arises of the level of claims of a person, his environment and the level of requirements. I am convinced that persons without a fixed abode exist precisely according to this philosophy, they really, really do not owe anything to anyone, and that is why they do not care what corner they sleep on, what scent they exude and what passers-by think of them. The question arises: who do we want to be equal to? On the great, successful and famous, who make high demands on themselves, or on those who sleep under the fence? For whom do we want - for the worthy and smart or for the first comer with minimal achievements?
The third reason is the cruel truth of life. As experience and elementary observation of people show, the phrase "A woman owes nothing to anyone" is very fond of beauties. Beauties from the age of 14 get used to a special attitude without making any effort. Just in exchange for a pretty face, people begin to love them, men are drawn to them, and it seems that there will always be fans. Hence, the attitude towards people and men is often consumerist and not very correct. The beauty is sure that there is still a huge queue ahead of those who want to make her life beautiful, and therefore an individual concrete person is not valuable. With her philosophy of “I don’t owe anything to anyone,” a woman dismisses one man after another, hoping that somewhere ahead she will find the perfect option. However, only a lonely 30th anniversary awaits her ahead. Then the 35th birthday, and also without a husband and without children. And, oddly enough, already almost without fans. After all, every day a new young beauty comes of age and attracts the attention of men. And our matured 35-year-old beauty, having grown enormous conceit by this age, finally begins to guess: “Oh! I'm 35. There are no fans left! Rather, they stayed, but those that I do not want. And those that I want are either already taken or do not want me. Could it be that I STILL owe something to someone? "
Eerie truth of life, huh?
Dear girls, do not believe in silly theories about a sweet, effortless life. Do not be like Pinocchio, who buried a coin in the ground, hoping for a money tree. Do not believe those who say that a woman owes nothing to anyone. This is a sweet lie, this is opium, it’s like being in pink glasses for a long time. This is a monstrous delusion that will take away the best years of your life, and then, having received your sight, you will understand that some things should have been understood and done many years ago. There is no absolute happiness that just falls on your head. Even if it falls into your hands by itself, with this pernicious phrase you can lose your happiness in an instant, simply by not being able to keep it. For happiness, for creating a family, for any achievements, you need to make efforts. If you want to be happy, you must! First of all yourself!
Everyone has their own opinion about female happiness, but most agree that it is directly related to a man.
If among the representatives of the stronger sex you can often find hermits who devoted themselves to science, work or religion, then among women this is much less common.
There are many reasons for this, both psychological and biological. But this article is not about why a woman cannot be happy without a second half.
She says that men too often take advantage of this fact, making a woman comfortable, forcing her to adapt to themselves.
Family patriarchy
Source: iStock
A man is a strong protector, he feeds his family by extracting resources. He can solve all problems, fix all breakdowns, understand any mechanism.
Considering all this, it is quite possible to understand its dominant role.
A woman can also have all of the above qualities. She can earn money, be able to stand up for herself and her family, have skills in repair and mechanics.
We used to call such women strong. But saying these words, we subconsciously understand that this is not her happiness.
Source: GIPHY
Dear women, you must admit that more happiness lies not in the fact that you were able to fix the washing machine, but in the fact that your man did it to your enthusiastic speeches.
Having someone who takes responsibility and makes your family happy is invaluable. Security, security, confidence in the future. It is a pity that sometimes a woman has to pay too high a price for all this.
A good wife = a comfortable wife?
Source: iStock
Concentrating all power in the hands of a man can begin to change his attitude towards his wife and children. The decisions of the head of the family require a lot of responsibility and discretion. You can't make mistakes, you can't show weakness.
In such conditions, most of them prefer to delve into their thoughts and make decisions on their own. The opinions of the wife and children are accepted, only as recommendations, and do not linger in thoughts for a long time.
Source: GIPHY
A strong man sees in his beloved only a little helpless girl who should not interfere with his “adult” affairs.
The woman is forced to adapt to this image, to become comfortable. Otherwise, the husband will be angry with the "disobedient child."
Remember the classic qualities of a good wife? Submissiveness, disposition to cooking and cleaning, love for children. All this is very convenient for family life, but does women's happiness lie in eternal obedience and caring for the house?
Woman's happiness
Source: iStock
When we say “female happiness” and “male happiness”, completely different pictures appear in my head. Usually, they are too stereotyped and far from the truth.
Feminine happiness is presented as a carefree spa experience with friends, a new dress, or a manicure. Male happiness is understood as an evening in the company of friends with beer, football, fishing and depraved beauties.
Source: GIPHY
Not every lady finds joy in a manicure and not every gentleman is crazy about fishing. But there is also something that is inherent in all representatives of the same sex, which brings them incredible delight and joy.
Women's happiness lies in what a woman lives for. Think, without which your life would be incomplete? But don't think about things like food, sleep, sex, communication. Take it higher!
Three Aspects
Source: iStock
It is important for both men and women to understand what women's happiness is. Him in order to delight his beloved and make the life of his companion brighter.
She is in order to see new facets of the meaning of her life and how to bring joy there.
Women's happiness is not a complex mechanism or intricate system. After analyzing the millions of life stories of girls, it is easy to say that they need only three things to be happy - love, family and well-being.
Love
Source: iStock
Think back to yourself in your youth. You dreamed of great and strong love, but not about living alone.
Although the 21st century screams about feminism and gender equality, there is nothing wrong with the fact that every woman wants to find the love of her life.
Business woman, housewife, model, cleaning lady at the factory. These women are different, but they all crave tenderness and warmth that only a loved one can give.
Many of them are so devoted to love that they see in this feeling the only source of happiness.
Source: GIPHY
Romantic tours, melodramas, Valentine's Day, wedding banquets, sexy lingerie and original gifts. The world has long understood that for the sake of happiness from love, people, and above all women, are ready for much.
Love can be different: in expensive hotels, in a hut in the woods, in a rented apartment or on a desert island. She kindles a fire in us that we want to keep alive for eternity.
Love is not ashamed to choose as the meaning of life, because it deserves it more than the same money and success.
Family
Source: iStock
You may disagree with the fact that the family does not refer to universal happiness, but only to women's happiness. Indeed, men need a family no less than women, sometimes even more. But what role does this aspect play in the life of each of the sexes?
A man is born into a family, is brought up, trained and becomes independent. He gains independence, both financial and moral. Once established, the man is finally ready to create his own home.
He is a hunter, a strong personality. Having found a suitable woman, he will not become part of her family. He will take her to his own nest.
Not fair? Maybe. But this position of a man can be traced even in modern wedding traditions.
Women complain that they do not change their way of life, and the kilograms continue to accumulate.
The female reaction to this can be of two types: some believe that it is better to do nothing and gain a couple of kilos, while others in every way try to lose them as quickly as possible!
The media impose their ideal on us - skinny fashion models. There is a stereotype: only a slender person can be beautiful and healthy. But this is a delusion that especially hits middle-aged ladies.
Here are the reasons for these changes in the body and why certain things should be considered normal.
1. Aging will overtake everyone.
The aging process is part of nature's plan. We have no choice. Wrinkles are just one of the changes that take place in the body. With age, aging and internal organs slow down the processes in the body.
Even a woman who can afford the most expensive rejuvenation procedures and live happily ever after cannot avoid aging.
A change in hormonal balance has a strong effect on the female body, namely, a decrease in the level of progesterone and estrogen.
This is the main problem women face during menopause. These hormonal changes affect sleep quality, mood, arrhythmias, and other individual symptoms.
2. Adequate body fat is essential for women's health.
At the age when a woman goes through menopause, the ovaries decrease the production of estrogen. The body tries to compensate for the deficiency of this hormone from adipose tissue.
This leads to extra pounds. You must understand that this phenomenon is the norm during this period of life!
3. Lack of the required amount of fat leads to a lack of estrogen in the woman's body.
If a woman does not have enough body fat, she will not get the amount of estrogen she needs during menopause.
This will inevitably lead to faster aging. So, you have to be careful with your diets. It is very important for a mature woman to eat well - forget about depleting diets.
Estrogen deficiency increases the risk of heart disease, memory impairment, bones become more fragile, and the skin loses its elasticity. The changes that come with menopause are completely natural and you don't have to fight them hard.
If you dream of losing weight so badly, contact your dietitian and go through the necessary examinations. A specialist will select the best and healthiest diet for you so that you do not harm your health.
Learn to love your body in any form. Enjoy and be happy, it will bring you health and satisfaction.
July 21st, 2016, 08:00 pm
Why a woman shouldn't be a perfectionist
The most unfortunate of my friends are perfectionists: to be in time, to please everyone, to pump up the ass, to satisfy the husband, not to let the boss down, to shove the children into sections, and even dinner - tasty and healthy - to bungle.
The pubis is epilated, the manicure is impeccable, they are praised at work, the kids are smart, the car is washed, but there is no happiness.
Photo: quotesgram.com
How so? Why?
I'll explain.
Perfectionism is the lot of men. He is alien to our feminine nature. We have a desire exclusively for external perfection: to be as beautiful as possible, so that the male wants to catch up with us, fill us up and bother us.
This is where all our perfectionism ends.
We can straighten our appearance as much as we like, without feeling the slightest stress. But if a woman adds a striving for ideality in something else to the striving for an ideal facade, her psyche begins to crumble. This is bad.
We are obliged to take care of ourselves. The best mode for our functioning is energy saving.
Do not think: I do not urge any of the women to turn into a dull nipple, which is not interested in anything but the reflection in the mirror. I urge all women to take off the plow. I insist.
We - women - came to this world to give beauty: external and internal. What external and internal beauty can be from a perverted, nervous woman? What kind of caress? How warm? What blowjob?
I encourage women to learn to forget about stress and let go of problems.
I urge women to spend their efforts not on spinning with squirrels in a wheel, but on finding a business that they like and generate income. It is possible. I know from myself.
After graduating from the Russian Humanitarian Foundation, I had to spend my life working as a translator at a metallurgical plant. Hellish labor. I was tired.
I didn't like being tired. I don't bloom to get tired. I have a different mission in life.
What have I done?
I acted like a real woman: I ran away from the factory. Going nowhere. Just because it was difficult for me.
And the Lord took care of me, leading me to work that gives me joy. I love writing articles for you. I love to communicate with you in the comments and, in principle, I love you.
I urge each of my readers to exhale and ask themselves the question: "Am I going there? Can I afford the burden that I have put on myself?"
If not, feel free to take it off yourself. Exhale. Get some rest. And already go forward lightly.
And let men be perfectionists. It is not difficult for them. They, unlike us, are biologically adapted to this.
What is your relationship with perfectionism? To what extent is it present in your life? How do you feel?
Working women are considered the norm in our society. And “sitting” at home (if we are not talking about mothers on maternity leave) causes a whole spectrum of emotions in the vast majority of people: bewilderment, pity, contempt ... Depending on the upbringing of a person, he or she will think to himself: or he will directly ask the housewife the questions he is interested in: “Aren't you bored at home? Or just can't find a job? Let me help!". Moreover, someone else's "doing nothing" sincerely outrages not only men, but also working women. And yet, why some housewives do not at all strive to go to work, "like all normal people"? Laziness, lack of ability, low communication skills - or is it something else entirely? Today we will talk about whether a married woman should work and bring money to the family on an equal basis with her spouse.
Why do women work?
The percentage of women working in Russia is quite high, although lower than the employment rate among men: according to Rosstat data for 2013, 59.8% of women aged 15-72 are employed in Russia (for comparison, for men this figure is 70, 4%). An interesting fact: 63% of working women have higher or specialized secondary education and only 49% of men.
Women's employment is mainly associated with the public sector - teachers, doctors, social workers, employees of public utilities. As you know, the salaries of public sector employees are significantly lower than those of workers in other industries. As for leadership positions, in Russia 28% of them are held by women. Basically, these are directors of schools, chief doctors of hospitals and clinics, heads of small and medium-sized businesses. There are only a few women in top government positions and in big business.
As you can see, the positions of the “weaker” sex in the professional sphere, although they did not completely equal those of men, nevertheless changed significantly in the XX-XI centuries. Today's women are educating and acquiring advanced degrees, pursuing a career or building their own businesses. Success in business and social life for most of us - both men and women - is of great importance. This was not the case in Soviet times, then the desire for personal success was considered a negative phenomenon. Now it has become the norm.
The change in women's role in society is sometimes even called the "quiet revolution of the 20th century." A new type of women has appeared: active, independent, purposeful. They do not dream of marrying a wealthy man, taking care of the house, having children and living in complete comfort. “Emancipated” women usually belong to the middle class and have a clear life model: first you need to get an education, then “get on your feet” and only then can you afford to have a child and devote yourself to your family for a while. A common situation among girls looking for a career is "civil" or "trial" marriages. Such cohabitation ends either in a real marriage, or in the separation of partners.
Personal achievements and career for a woman are now considered no less important than the role of wife and mother. However, loneliness, difficulties in allocating time between work and family, and dissatisfaction with marriage have become common women's problems. Yes, people have changed, but the ideal family model still does not exist. It is difficult for women, and for many men, to admit: a wife cannot be both a brilliant careerist or a successful business woman and at the same time carry on her fragile shoulders the entire household and childcare.
Until 1991, only 5% of women spoke of their desire to be a housewife if the husband could provide for his family with dignity. After the collapse of the USSR, the number of women willing to “stay at home” increased first to 30 and then to 40 percent. But this happened simultaneously with the popularization of the concept of personal success. Therefore, young girls strive for education, self-realization and development, and even those who in words dream of a “career” as a housewife, in fact, often begin to think about returning to work at the beginning of maternity leave. There is a direct contradiction in the minds of the current generation of women.
And yet, why should a woman work? Why, even when it is financially possible to be at home, especially with children, do women find jobs or return to work?
- Making money ... This reason is called not only by single mothers, widows, wives of disabled people or temporarily disabled men. The bulk of women who work for money are the wives of men who work and earn money. Another question is that the financial needs of a modern family are endless: an apartment, a car, clothes, phones and gadgets, books and toys for children, visiting development studios and sections for them. Many live on credit. It is believed that a man alone simply cannot provide for his family, and a wife "sitting on his neck" is nothing more than an egoist.
- “Everyone is working and I have to. How can you not work at all? " ... This reason is the legacy of the Soviet (especially post-war) period. The girls know: it is imperative to work, even from their mothers. And women, whose children have already grown up, simply cannot imagine a different life. What to do at home? And besides, they already have a decent work experience, and it seems stupid not to work until retirement.
- Sincere love for what you do ... If a woman is truly passionate about her work, great! This gives her the opportunity to feel fulfilled in all respects, and not just "pull the strap" at work, returning from there tired and irritated. And yet the main thing in this case is that the value of even the most beloved business does not outweigh the importance of the family.
- It's boring and uninteresting to sit at home , a sense of "degradation" in the role of a housewife. Since childhood, a modern woman has lived at a completely different pace and conditions than her predecessors in the recent past. Few take housewives seriously. Most people have in their heads a certain image of a “real” woman who “will stop a galloping horse and enter a burning hut” ... We have lost a culture in which a wife and mother are the guardians of the hearth, and we have not developed a new one. Therefore, it can be very difficult for women who find themselves in the role of a housewife for a while (usually on parental leave) to adapt to a new way of life. It seems to them that they are missing the "present", interesting and important, and longingly await the opportunity to finally return to their usual activities. Even a job you don't love seems more enjoyable than a household routine.
- “We have to work just in case. You never know what " ... By “any” case, most often we mean a divorce from a spouse. It is believed that the husband is a variable, and judging by the divorce statistics, this idea seems reasonable. However, are we not confusing cause and effect? Our thoughts materialize, and constant doubts about family well-being can lead to dire consequences.
- To receive a pension ... Well, that's the reason. It sounds a little sad though.
Should a woman work: the opinion of men and women themselves
Our society consists of a wide variety of people, and it cannot be said which model of family relations from the ones below is unambiguously socially approved:
- a well-earning husband and wife, a housewife;
- a family in which both men and women earn;
- a husband is a "breadwinner" and a wife who does what she loves, but not for the sake of money, but for the soul.
Usually the question is: "Does a woman need to work?" at first it causes a kind of stupor in people. After all, there is something to think about for an intelligent person.
According to the statistics of the SuperJob.ru portal for 2010, 54% of Russians are sure that a working woman may well be an excellent wife and a caring mother. 44% of men and 62% of women are convinced of the need for work for women. “The family is not a woman’s slavery, but a partnership,” the ladies comment. 34% of the respondents are sure that emancipation harms the family structure. It is indicative that there are more male opponents of female labor - 43% versus 27% among women. "Violation of the laws of nature" is called emancipation mainly by men of the older generation (62%) and earning more than 45,000 rubles. per month (48%).
Here are a number of statements about the role of women in the family, found on Internet forums. Men first:
"The wife should take care of the house and children"... Victor, 33
“A woman should work if she loves her profession. For the sake of money a man must work "... Vladimir, 33
"A woman should work at least part-time, otherwise she will go crazy with idleness."... Oleg, 44
“Both have to work. A common contribution to one cause - this is a family "... Grigory, 43
“Most smart men begin to get bored with housewives over time, because apart from children and TV shows, they have nothing to talk about”... Leo, 33
"Ideally, a man should provide for his family, but centuries of practice have shown that the average man cannot achieve this ideal."... Evgeniy, 39
“If he wants, let him work. No - and optional "... Igor, 52
“It's better for a woman to work - it keeps you in good shape. But in "free" work - creative or educational. And not 8 hours a day "... Sergey, 53
The same diverse opinions can be seen in the comments of the women:
“A woman must work anyway. It doesn't matter if she has a child or not. Otherwise, she will simply become dull from the useless sitting at home! And it doesn't matter what kind of work it is, in the office or part-time work at home "... Julia
“If there is an opportunity and the husband doesn’t mind, then the woman herself can decide how to work for her and whether to work at all. The main thing is not to sink, not to turn into a free housekeeper "... Alena, 42
“By and large - probably, no one owes anything to anyone, just everyone decides for himself how he is more comfortable, and God forbid that there was this choice, and there was no need to force himself to work if he didn’t want to, and vice versa”... Lydia
"Children and career are incompatible"... Maria, 31
“Every family is different. If the husband fully provides for his wife and children, then the wife does not have to work. Only if she wants to! But if there are financial problems and there is no need to sit on maternity leave, a woman can work! "... Irina
“For me personally, the pleasure of having my own money can hardly be replaced by the pleasure of sleeping longer. Sitting at home with children (I don't mean babies) is hard work, very hard and responsible. Work at work is much easier, and money is paid for it too "... Ekaterina
“The husband can get hit by a tram or go to another. And then what? I do not understand people who voluntarily become dependent on another person. Well this is scary! "... G., 33 years old
"If a man does not support his family, then he is not a man."... Julia
As you can see, both men and women themselves have very different views about whether a woman should work. It cannot be argued which choice is correct - to be a housewife or still a working woman. Each of the points of view expressed has the right to exist. Ideally, families should be created by people with the same mindset, in particular about women's employment. Then there will be no conflicts associated with the woman's desire / unwillingness to work, while the husband does not understand her needs.
Should a woman work: psychological aspects
The question of whether a woman needs to work usually arises among those representatives of the fairer sex who work, but treat their own workplace without much enthusiasm, feel tired and exhausted after work, believe that work prevents them from taking care of their family. If at the same time a woman receives a high salary, this fact, to be sure, somewhat brightens up the negative aspects of “work at work”. However, in some families, the wife's income is not a significant share of the family budget, and the husband, in principle, does not mind that the wife does not work. There are also men who persistently persuade their wives to settle at home. Especially if the family has a child or several children. And a woman, on the contrary, is eager for labor exploits, she is bored or hard at home.
Consider a standard situation: both spouses are safe and sound and are not in any extreme situations (such as urgent collection of money for the treatment of a relative or repayment of a rashly taken loan with huge interest rates). The husband works, and the family already has children. Is it possible for a woman not to work in such a situation?
Instead of making big statements, consider the standard daily routine of a working woman. In the morning, she needs to wake everyone up, feed, "distribute" the children to kindergartens and schools, and get to work on time herself. Then - a standard 8-hour day with a lunch break, during which some especially diligent ladies also have time to work. The evening of a working woman is the most interesting thing. After work - hurry home, through the store where you need to buy groceries, and, possibly, through the kindergarten to pick up the children. It is good if the husband takes on some of these actions. But at home everyone will wait for dinner from mom, and the woman has to quickly cook something simple or warm up yesterday's one. After dinner - communication with children, urgent chores and ... complete exhaustion. When the children fall asleep, the husband will most likely require the fulfillment of the conjugal duty, and the wife, most likely, does not have the strength and desire at all. She either refuses, receiving accusations and reproaches in response, or agrees, but there is no talk of any sincerity in manifestations of love. And the next day everything is repeated. Fortunately, the woman has two days off. But they are usually spent on urgent household chores.
Women are amazing creatures. They are gentle and sensitive, emotionally perceive everything that happens to them. It is difficult for a woman to constantly overcome obstacles, to move from one set goal to another - her psyche is depleted in such conditions (while such conditions are even useful for a man, he "hardens", gets stronger). But a woman's innate tendency to self-sacrifice, patience and, moreover, tough competition in the labor market do not allow a woman to complain.
Whatever changes take place in the world, the female essence does not change. Women have a different type of thinking and mental reactions than men. It is easier for a woman to work calmly, which does not require "jerky" efforts, she can easily keep track of a multitude of simultaneously occurring processes, and has excellent organizational skills. Men are not given this: they are more direct, dynamic and focus on one performed action.
If a woman spends most of the day at work, makes a career and works primarily for money, her psyche has to rebuild to a "male" type of mental reactions. As a result, a woman becomes an excellent "workhorse", she may well become very successful, but inevitably loses her femininity and ability to give warmth to loved ones. This is why a woman should not work like an ox if she wants to preserve her feminine essence.
Does a woman have to work in terms of history and religion?
In search of an answer to whether a woman should work or be a housewife, one can turn to historical facts.
There has never been equality between men and women. When the primitive society moved to the stage of hunting and gathering, the male role was reduced to the development of new territories in search of wild animals, a pastoral business. The women watched over the cultivation of wild cereals, they watched over the children and were tied to one place. Their place in society was higher than the place of men - that was the time of matriarchy.
With the emergence of property rights, men occupied a dominant position in the genus. From that time until the late Middle Ages, women had less rights than men, they were always "with a husband." They ran the household or helped their husbands with their work. Women's work activities were primarily associated with home and childcare, but the poorest generally had to work regardless of gender.
The change in the role of women in society is associated with the beginning of industrial revolutions, the emergence of feminism and the so-called emancipation. The USSR became one of the first countries to legislate gender equality (in 1917). Women were now given equal rights with men to “receive education and vocational training, in labor, in remuneration for him and promotion at work, in socio-political and cultural activities<…>". It was supposed to create conditions that “allow women combine work with motherhood ". In other countries, the legislative consolidation of "equal rights of the sexes" took place at about the same time (the beginning of the twentieth century).
It must be understood that emancipation was not aimed at a real equalization of women with men. Yes, women were dissatisfied with their position, but they hardly dreamed of falling into the bondage of hired work. See what we have now. A woman gives birth and brings up children (and they need to be born on time, age does not wait), strives to get an education and earn money on an equal basis with a man, and also does housework. Mothers instill in their daughters from childhood: “You have to work! I have a husband today, not tomorrow ... ”. For men, the current situation is very convenient: women serve them, earn money, and even dream of getting married in order to get into this "slavery".
The System, which has received many new working hands, also feels great. Yes, in the war and post-war times it was impossible to do without it, but now the war is over ... In addition, due to the established attitudes, women can be paid less than men. Do you still think women needed feminism and emancipation?
Let's see what religion says about the female role in the family.
In Orthodoxy, an example for all women to follow is described in the Bible (Proverbs 31: 10-31):
“Who will find a virtuous wife? its price is higher than pearls .... She gets wool and flax, and willingly works with her own hands. She, like merchant ships, obtains her bread from afar. She gets up still at night and distributes food in her house and assignments to her maids. She thinks about the field, and acquires it; from the fruits of her hands she plants a vineyard ... She feels that her occupation is good, and her lamp does not go out even at night. She stretches out her hands to the spinning wheel, and her fingers take hold of the spindle. She opens her hand to the poor, and gives her hand to the needy. She is not afraid of the cold for her family, because her whole family is dressed in double clothes. She makes carpets for herself; fine linen and purple - her clothes ... She makes bedspreads and sells, and delivers belts to the Phoenician merchants ... She oversees the household in her house and does not eat the bread of idleness. "
As you can see, the Bible calls women's work farming, controlling the life of the whole house, and needlework. We are not talking about idleness, God does not encourage idleness either for men or women. However, we are not talking about hired labor in someone else's house.
Consider also how the answer to the question of whether a woman should work is given in Islam.
The Qur'an states unequivocally:
"Men are the trustees of women because Allah has given one of them an advantage over others and because they spend from their property."
This is not to say that according to Islam, women are prohibited from working. BUT! It is a woman's responsibility to be a mother and wife. A woman is not obliged to work, she was created by Allah for another. The husband must provide for his family, work, even if the wife is rich. A woman, if desired or necessary, can work, but subject to a number of conditions: to have the consent of her spouse, to hide the body, to behave chastely, not to be alone in the room with a stranger.
A woman ... shouldn't she work?
If a woman does not want to work, but seeks to fully devote herself to her family and children, they usually look at her askance. And this despite the fact that the question of whether a married woman should work in principle remains unanswered. On the one hand, it is very difficult to maintain femininity and inner harmony in a constant race for money, career and success. Giving strength to work, we inevitably give something to the family. On the other hand, there are modern realities that you can't get away from: a widespread family model (both spouses are working, children at this time are in nurseries, kindergartens, schools), financial difficulties, the "habit" of women to work, even if it is for them don't like it too much.
A housewife is a rare phenomenon in our times. Why don't these women want to work? Perhaps they understand: on their shoulders, and so lie the most important concerns - creating comfort, cooking (with love, not fuss), activities with children and other truly female affairs. Trusting your husband and inspiring him is also worth a lot. Of course, the real Mistress of the House is not the woman who sends everyone to their “workplaces” in the morning, but she herself sits in Odnoklassniki all day long.
A true housewife doesn't just work from home; her work is necessarily complemented by her personal development, hobbies and hobbies. And if they started to generate income - great! This means that this wise woman managed to combine everything.
It cannot be said unequivocally whether a woman should work or whether she should make a choice in favor of a family. Any definite answer to this question can be disputed. Let's put it this way: all people, including women, should - first of all, themselves - be happy. For most women, the main component of happiness is still family. Do not forget about this in pursuit of other values. What about work? It's great if it is there and really brings joy without taking your time away from your loved ones. And if not, maybe it's time to decide on a change?
