Flying Spaghetti Monster
Few people talk about this, but very strange things are happening in our world. Judge for yourself: the New Zealand authorities have officially recognized Pastafarianism. Moreover, a certain Karen Martin (Karen Martyn) was appointed bishop of this amazing cult, and now she can rightly marry parishioners.
Officially, this church appeared in 2005. It was founded by Oregon State University physicist Bobby Henderson, who wanted to combat the teaching of creationism in this way. In this he has a strong ally, the main deity of Pastafarianism: the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
In appearance, this newcomer to the American pantheon is a creature of humanoid form made of spaghetti without a mouth and with meatball-shaped eyes. Despite the huge success on social networks (95% of messages in support and only 5% with the promise of eternal torment in hell), it is still very difficult to give an exact number of followers of this at least innovative religion. In any case, it is not difficult to distinguish them from ordinary mortals, because they usually wear a colander instead of a headdress.
On holidays, Pastafarians take out ceremonial robes, that is, pirate costumes in the style of John Silver. Why? Great question. The fact is that, according to Pastafarian cosmology, these pirates, corsairs and other filibusters were spiritual beings who plied the seas to distribute delicacies to the children of the native peoples. In addition, their slow but certain disappearance has caused global warming, cyclones, earthquakes, and even the appearance of Bush Jr. in the White House.
More importantly, these pirates also have a direct connection to the all-father, the Flying Spaghetti Monster, who somehow created our universe when he drank too much. This, by the way, explains her imperfections: parking difficulties in Paris, lack of Albanian lessons in elementary school, and an acute shortage of busty blondes in a nearby bistro.
In response to the inevitable criticism of non-believers, Bobby Henderson, the founder and theologian of this spiritual enterprise, ridiculed all skeptics: “With millions, thousands of devoted believers, the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is considered a real religion even by its opponents, Christian fundamentalists, who for the most part admit that our God has more “meatballs”.
Of course, not a single religious institution dared to challenge such a reinforced concrete logic. And once the critics have been silenced, all that remains is to hammer the final nail into the coffin of obscurantism: “I think we should be glad that one day these three theories will be given equal time in scientific studies in our country and around the world. One-third to creationism, one-third to the flying spaghetti monster, and one-third to inference based on overwhelming evidence.” No worse than the decision of the Congress of the Socialist Party.
The most important thing in all this is that pasta art and pataphysics continue to conquer the minds, and that the main wealth is still people, while the Islamic State is doomed to vegetate in poverty. Amen (with parmesan).
We are proud of our engineers
hadron collider
For we strongly believe
Into the pasta monster!
Whether you are poor or rich
Forgotten or glorious
Our ally and pirate
Let's celebrate LMM!
Pasta and noodles
And noodles with meatballs
Our faith is good
Like a naked girl...
Ahead of the universe
Time, space-
Lights of Good News
Pastafarianism!
Do you drink beer or Madeira
Come instantly!
Our true faith
It's awesome!
Pasta, pasta, pasta, pasta
Pasta and meatballs!
Our faith is safe
Like a wife in bed!
Invigorating rays to all,
fat, huge,
Soaring in the air
Pasta monster!
Pastafarianism(English) Pastafarianism) is a play on words based on Rastafarianism and the Italian word for pasta.
It all started with the fact that the invisible and imperceptible Flying Spaghetti Monster (FMM) created the Universe.
The second event was in 2005, when Bobby Henderson did not like the fact that in the state of Kansas the authorities wanted to include the concept of "intelligent design" in the required school curriculum.
It boiled down to the fact that the probability of accidents from which life appeared is negligible. Bobby declared: "Yes, there may be a god, but then who will prove that this is exactly the god that the church implies?"
A little later, he proclaimed on his website a new belief in a supernatural Creator, similar to pasta and meatballs, also inventing the Holy Scriptures.
In an open letter on his website, Henderson proclaims belief in a supernatural Creator, the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and calls for the study of Pastafarianism in schools, thus using the reductio ad absurdum argument against "intelligent design" teaching.
Then the Flying Spaghetti Monster was used in his book by Richard Dawkins, where he demonstrated that the scripture of Pastafarianism is no different from the existing ones, using the example of the Bible and the Koran.
The idea went to the masses and despite the parody, "pastafarianism" exists on the same rights as other religions, has an official status and political power.
Postulates of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster:
- The world was created by a Flying Spaghetti Monster with meatball eyes after drinking too much alcohol.
- All the evidence for evolution has been cleverly rigged by the FSM.
- Pastafarian paradise includes at least one beer volcano and one strip factory.
- All prayers must end with the word "Ramen." (from ramen - Japanese noodles)
Some passages from the Pastafarian Gospel:
— “ You better not act like a self-absorbed ass and saint when you preach My spaghetti grace. If other people do not believe in Me, there is nothing to worry about. I'm not that narcissistic, honestly. In addition, we are not talking about these people, so let's not digress.”
— “ A woman is a person. A man is a person. A bore is always a bore. None of the people are better than others, except for the ability to dress fashionably - I'm sorry, but I have gifted in this sense only women and only some of the guys - those who distinguish purple from crimson.”
-“ It would be better if you did not fight fanatical, misogynistic and other evil ideas of others on an empty stomach. Eat, and then go to these bastards.”
Some pastafarian holidays:
Friday- the most important holiday in Pastafarianism. On this day, real Pastafarians should do absolutely nothing. Celebration is optional, but highly recommended, for "nothing more can be done to honor His Spaghetti Hand than to keep Friday carefully and regularly."
pasta- a holiday that came from the addition of the names of Christian Easter and Italian pasta.
ramindan(Roltondan,Doshirakdan ) is a holiday when pastafarians again eat tons of pasta, but in the form of instant noodles, remembering their student years and showing how to have fun.
July, 12- declared by the Russian Patriarch, Kama Pasta I, a non-working day for all Pastafarians, because on July 12, 2013, the Russian Pastafarian Church notified the local government in Moscow about the creation of a religious group of the Russian Orthodox Church. Now Pastafarians in Russia have the right to legally perform pasta services and other religious rites, as well as defend their religious feelings.
Some facts about the pasta religion:
- The main dogma of Pastafarianism is the rejection of any dogma.
- In 2011, Austrian authorities allowed Pastafarian Nico Alm to have his driver's license pictured wearing a colander on his head as a religious headdress. Niko filed a reductio ad absurdum argument against allowing Muslims to have their ID photographs wearing hijabs. Since photos with hats are allowed in Austria only for religious reasons, he justified his act as belonging to Pastafarianism. “My main goal is to make people think about the adequacy of the system,” he said. Here is his photo with rights
- One of the famous parishioners of the LMM Church is Pavel Durov.
- The head of the Russian Pastafarian Church is Pastriarch Khusama Pasta II (in the world Amir Amirovich Khusainov), who was appointed to this post on November 15, 2013 by the first Pastriarch of the Russian Orthodox Church Kama Pasta I (in the world Vadim Zhakenovich Kamashev), who created the Church in January 2011.
- In October 2013, a branch of the Pastafarian Church was also registered in Ukraine.
- In July 2013, Czech resident Lukas Novy became the second Pastafarian to win the right to be photographed on a driver's license with a colander on his head.
- On August 3, 2013, Pastafarianism became one of the main religions on Vkontakte.
