Isn't it dangerous to cry for newborns? Can I leave a baby cry? Other reasons why kid crying

What can I say about the advice to leave the child cry to learn to calm myself? From a scientific point of view, it is unreasonable, in addition, the term "complacency" is incorrectly used here. It has long been proven that a newborn, which for a long time is increasingly crying, the frequency of heart abbreviations increases, blood pressure, the oxygen level decreases and the level of cortisol, adrenaline and other stress hormones increases. The baby, left alone, can cry until he falls asleep, but it is not soothing, but fatigue, exhaustion. It is still overcrowded by hormones of stress, and in its brain there is a stereotype of emotionally unstable behavior.

Children learn nothing to wait from their parents, and if no one reacts to their crying, they cease to demand calm and caress at night, as well as during the day. Kids in the children's homes do not cry very often, but it cannot be said that it is a healthy adaptation.

The experience of children who are sensitive to the afternoon, and at night they leave to cry, of course, cannot be compared with the experience of orphans. However, I believe that if the child does not protest, it means not the fact that he can calm down well, without parents, but what he understood: his parents will not help him.

In the baby, whose crying does not react regularly - whether it is day or at night, it will be formed. The emission of cortisol associated with a failed crying causes to postpone the formation of the immune system, learning skills and other functions that are not vital until it cope with the crisis, and this prevents the creation of nervous chains for complacency.

When you leave the baby to cry alone, it changes you as a parent. We need to make an effort to turn off the natural sympathy for your child, the most sympathy that helps him develop emotional intelligence. Your natural tendency to see everything from the point of view of the newborn is slightly declining, and maybe the upbringing will seem more difficult task. This can be the first step towards a violation of communication with the child, which will reduce and your so necessary responsiveness, and your satisfaction as a parent.

Take the baby more often

Everyone who spent at least a little time with the newborn knows that it is difficult to calm him. Do not worry. To develop your child's brain, you do not need to be perfection. People are not perfect. Everything that is needed is good enough to appear from time to time to appear near and calm the child if he needs it. This means to take it on your hands, if he cries, and give him what we need to all when we are upset: a sympathetic witness.

Even if your baby continues to cry, when you hold it, it still feels the warmth of your hands. And this is not at all the fact that in despair it is not enough to cry alone. Maybe it hurts him, and maybe he is simply filled with emotions and wants to "digest" all these impressions and stresses of the world for him. In any case, your presence helps him, providing a safe opportunity to express their emotions - and be heard. This crying can actually release the accumulated stress hormones. Think about it: the kid had a difficult day, and maybe (even if it was a month ago), a difficult birth, and he wants to tell you about it.

He cries, but maybe it's good, facilitating tears. He releases all cortisol, adrenaline and other overwhelming hormones that have accumulated from the impressions of this insane new world. You keep it in your arms, and therefore his body responds to the development of calm hormones. It is difficult, but fortunately, if you can calm yourself, breathe deeply and continue to create a child safe and reliable conditions, with time he will learn to calm himself.

Being "fairly good" - it means to be quite good. No parent can always fully understand her child. We are only people, which means that we are getting distracted, worry, we are afraid, we wonder if they are in short, you can not always be such as we want to be for your child. Remember the research of Edward Tronik, who showed that even the most attentive parent is tuned to the child only in 30% of cases.

Fortunately, if you missed the signal of your child and a small crack arose between you and the child, you can fix everything. In fact, the experience of misunderstanding, and then the restoration of contact is very important for the kid.

Important experience temporary misunderstanding

How does this happen? Imagine that you are peaceful and happily playing with the baby. You are shaking a rattle, and he sniffs. But after a while he overwhelms the excitement. He feels overflow with emotions and frightens. He needs to calm down, go to a lower level of excitement. He looks away. Some parents will immediately notice this and understand that the child needs rest. But you did not notice. You are so good now. So great when your baby laughs! In addition, you may still do not feel quite confident as a parent, do not always know how to calm the baby, and here - see! - You can laugh it, and even more needed ... And you miss his signal.

He continues to turn away, although you look into your eyes and still stronger the rattle. For him, this is too. His face is wrinkled, and he begins to cry.

So you failed to tune in. Your intervention brought the baby to tears. Did he get injured for life? Fortunately, no. Maybe you are slowly thinking, but you are not hopeless. You breathe deeply and switch the mode from excitement to calm. You take your baby in your arms and begin to grow quietly. He continues to cry, but already quieter, and his breathing becomes less often. He calms down. He learned that the world is imperfect and sometimes to be heard, you need to increase the voice, but it is able to correct the crack in your relationship.

Since you immediately responded to his crying - and this, as studies show, the most important factor in the child's configuration, - he realized that the world is safe and he can rely on you and your help. The rapid recovery of relationships after a small crack is part of the process that develops sustainability from the child or faith in the fact that if he continues attempts, he will succeed. In fact, every such case of temporary misunderstanding teaches a child to calm themselves without your help. Sometimes you are not able to help him, but in most cases you help, and he learns to do it himself - like this just happened. That is, although you do not strive to intentionally give the baby painful experience - life will provide him with many cases - but such moments, when they are restored to the restoration of warm contact and understanding and when positive interactions outweigh, actually have valuable learning experiences for him .

Help the baby grow calm and happy

Calming the baby, you not only learn to calm it yourself, but also help him become calmer, friendlier, happier - both in childhood and in adult life. Many studies show that children who get more attention, caress and comforts, grow more relaxed and happy, able to cope with their emotions.

It is not surprising that they are even better managed to follow their weight.

The ability to reassure itself independently is one of the conditions for the development of emotional intelligence. And absorbing that you will be nearby, you will understand his signals and can help the baby when it will need it, he develops this ability. These are the foundations of a strong attachment. In the first year of life with you, the newborn assimilates that the world is a friendly place and that everything will be fine with him.

Many parents have been left to leave crying child And do your affairs. Someone does it with a heavy heart, in the form of an exception, and someone else - "according to ideological reasons", considering this approach correct from a pedagogical point of view. But is it worth leaving the baby crying? Perhaps your opinion will change if you find out how scientists came to what conclusions.

There are different opinions about how to do when a child is crying, what reaction will be correct - to rush to it or ignore. We all heard the "grandmother's schools" in the spirit "Let cry, nothing happens to him," "pays and stop it, it's not going anywhere", "do not take up to the hands" and so on. But will these tips do not harm much more than the notorious getting used to the hands? Is it possible to leave a crying child in the crib, allowing him to cry and then?

If you leave the maternal instinct aside, which requires to start hug and calm down in a child, let's pay attention to research that show what the kid will be. And such studies are enough. But if you search for sources in which it will be said that a passive reaction is a good solution, you will not find any. Several different studies undertaken over the past 20 years have shown that the care of parents about the needs of the child favors education in the future of independent, independent people. And, accordingly, on the contrary.

Children learn only "outwardly", how to manage their sufferings

The study conducted at the University of Northern Texas studied the behavior of 25 children aged 4 to 10 months. The kids participated in a five-day program, during which children left crying during sleep. Scientists took samples of their saliva and measured the level of cortisol - stress hormone. As a result, they found that the external manifestations of stress were leveled by sleep. However, the problem is that in the process of prolonged suffering expressed by crying, children do not study internally, how to cope with their stress experiences and discomfort.

Crying for a long time can lower the intelligence coefficient

A study conducted by Dr. RAO from the US National Institute of Health led to the following conclusion. Excessive uncontrollable crying, which remains in children over three months old without any signs of neurological diseases, may be a sign of a cognitive deficit in infancy. According to the study, children who have been crying for a long time for the first three months of their lives, have IQ 9 points less than a control group of other children, and is significantly less developed in terms of motor skills. So the answer to the question is whether it is possible to leave the child with crying, no matter how surprisingly, it is also connected with how smart and moving it will grow.

Ullantic children change genes

Dr. Darcy Narvayes in his article "Danger of Crying" says that in studies on rats - more and less caring moms - a critical period of changes in genes that control anxiety was seen. If in the first 10 days, the mother's rat is less cared and draws attention to the needs of his cub (the human equivalent is 6 months of life), then this gene never returns to the starting point. Growing rat will be irritable and anxious in any new situation that will arise until the end of her life - except that only take medicines that will soften this anxiety.

Touching stimulates growth hormones

In his book, the "Genetic Basics of the Touch Effect" Sol Schonberg talks about the effect noted when the mother stops touching his infant. Schonberg comes to the conclusion that the lack of sufficient and the quality of contact can lead to the termination of the DNA synthesis, a reduction in growth hormone, and the child goes into the "survival mode". Dr. Narvaes adds that children grow due to the fact that they are held on their hands. Bodies Baby do not develop well enough when they are far from people who care about them.

Infants indicate their needs through gestures and crying when they need it. Just as adults stretch to fluid when they are thirsty, kids are looking for what they need right now. Adults calm down when their need is satisfied - this happens and in the case of children. Then we can say that leave the child to cry in the crib - it's like not to give him to drink or eat when he needs it.

Neural connections can be broken

As Dr. Darcy Narvayes says, when a child is experiencing great suffering, conditions are created for damage to synapses, structures in the brain of the child. The hormone is released cortisol. This is the "murderer of neurons", but the consequences may not come immediately. The infant who was carried out before the end of pregnancy, the brain is only 25% developed, and it grows on average by about 3 times by the end of the first year (head growth in the first year is a sign of intellectual development).

And now decide whether it is possible to leave the child to cry in the crib under the pretext of care that it does not grew by lossed and capricious.

And yet, how to understand why cries breast child? Maybe he got sick a little? Were hungry? His colic torment him? There are plenty of options for potential negative factors, it remains only to understand the true cause and find an effective "medicine".

But it is precisely with the establishment of a true culprit and problems arise, since inexperienced parents only learn to understand their baby. However, it is possible to understand what kind of children's crying can, if you carefully monitor the reaction of a tiny little man.

A little about children's crying

The cries of a newborn baby - this is the first beep after the appearance of the light. The baby in this way is opposed to separation from the mother, protests against the wiseness of the habitat and declares the world about his birth.

Such reactions can be found in many mammals, especially the cubs of monkeys. Previously, in general, according to the first cries of the newborn, they were judged by his vitality. If the kid shouts loudly, it means that it is healthy, if screaming weakly and sluggish, therefore, there are some violations.

Usually the newborn baby is quite often crying, and if at first the parents do not understand the source of the screams, then they begin to distinguish between different reasons for duration, frequency, intensity, volume and other characteristics of crying.

It is not necessary to react to the cry of the baby, as on a catastrophic phenomenon. On the contrary, it is necessary to listen every time to the child, trying to determine the source of anxiety and exclude it.

The reasons for crying newborn multifaceted and can be in the following features and factors:

• colics and unpleasant sensations in the tummy;
• hunger;
• wet pelleys;
• low or indoors;
• desire to sleep;
• boredom;
• discomfort in the crib;
• fear;
• health problems.

And this is just some of possible causes For children's discontent. Having learned to understand why the child shouts during the day, parents will be able to quickly solve emerging problems or contact physicians if the situation is really serious.

Consider the main reasons for crying a small child in more detail.

If you ask the experienced pediatrician, why the newborn cries, then in most cases the answer will be approximately: the baby was hungry.

The bog that appeared on the light of the child is very small, so the infants are fed often, but a small amount of milk or mixture. But since the lactation is only becoming better, in one of the feedings of Kroch, it can get a smaller amount of food, which and flashes crying.

If a newborn baby cries greatly, mom, first of all, you need to check if he wants to "trape." For this, the little girl is bent and touched them to the corner of the children's mouth. If the baby turns the head towards the stimulus and opens the mouth, it means that crying was hunger.

Mom remains to attach a child to breast for feeding or offering a bottle with a freshly prepared mixture. Usually immediately after receiving the cherished nutrition, the screams begin to sink, and loud crying is replaced by quiet sobs, which gradually disappear.

The "hungry" crying is distinguished by volume, standing, intensity, the baby seems to be husked. If the child was just recently hungry, then the screams will be called.

If the child is crying constantly, you need to track the dynamics of the kilogram set and the volume of milk at mom. It is very likely that the crumb cannot be ashamed and this situation requires an increase in the amount of milk or.

It is best to consult with a specialist.

A child-artificial, by the way, can cry not from lack of food, but from thirst. Mother, especially in hot weather, you need to keep a bottle with clean drinking water near yourself.

Problems of feeding

If a newborn capricious and crying directly during eating or after it, we can conclude about the existence of certain problems that impede normal feeding. Here are just some of them:

1. Stuffy nose. The child can begin to suck the milk or mixture, but then hits the chest or a bottle. At the same time hear bulking or nasal coating. With a cold and mortgage, they clean the nose aspirator, washed with saline and bury the means recommended by the doctor.
2. The child choked. If the children's crying during feeding is short and no longer repeats, and the baby flies away, then he probably just swallowed a lot of milk. It is enough to wait a bit, and then resume feeding.
3. Ear infection. If the child is hungry for all signs, but at the very early throat leaves the chest and begins to scream loudly, perhaps he is otitis. In this case, swallowing only enhances the discomfort. You need to consult a doctor who will write down the nasal and ear drops.
4. Thrush. With the damage to the oral cavity of the fungus from the genus Candida, the child appears white raids, and when the milk appears in the tongue there is a burning sensation. So that the baby does not cry and did not refuse food, you should visit the doctor who recommends the right method of treatment.
5. An unpleasant taste of milk. If the hungry child turns away from the food source and continues to cry, perhaps he does not like the flavor of the milk. Changes milk indicators for the use of flavored products: spices, sharp seasoning, garlic sauce or bow. They should be avoided at GW.
6. Air entering the digestive tract. If immediately after receiving food, the baby begins to hone and pull up his legs to the tummy, maybe he swallowed a lot of air. It is enough to put the crumb "soldier" to leave extra oxygen.

If the newborn is constantly crying when feeding, you need to contact a specialist to eliminate serious problems with the gastrointestinal tract.

The frequent cause of crying a newborn baby is colic, which are spastic reactions localized in the tummy. Determines their occurrence of the imperfection of a children's digestive system, manifested by stretching intestinal walls by gas bubbles.

Children's crying in this case loud, shrill, and it can continue for a long time With short pauses. Guess the colic parents can and according to such signs, like:

• reddened face;
• pressing the lower extremities to the stomach with further sharp stretching;
• hardened belly;
• spraying fists.

Of course, the problem of colic will disappear at 4 months of age when the digestive tract "matures". However, just waiting for this blessed period would be stupid. Necessary. How? For example, can:

• stroking the pelleon and lay it on a warm on a children's belly;
• make a light massage of the umbilical area;
• share a child to your belly;
• perform the exercise "bike";
• to drink crumbling water or written by Dr. medicine, etc.

The child does not cry after the manipulations conducted? So you did everything right. Very soon, unpleasant symptoms colic will disappear, and children's anxiety will be replaced by joyful activity.

Physical discomfort

If hunger and colic disappear, the mother may assume that the newborn baby is crying due to unpleasant sensationswhich are caused by noncomfortable lover, incorrectly selected temperature regime or, which happens most often, wet or dirty diaper.

Consider more details the main reasons for physical discomfort and methods for their elimination:

1. The child described. If the baby cries, rushes, trying not to touch the wet things, it is necessary to see if he did his "wet divids" in a pelleton or diaper. The solution to the problem is very simple - enough to change clothes and lingerie, wipe the baby's skin with a napkin.
2. Baby is uncomfortable in clothes. If the child screams dissiputely immediately after dressing or changing the pelleka, Mom can conclude that he does not like clothes. Perhaps the seams, threads, buttons dug in the caller, synthetics causes itchy sensations or pelleber material is rather hard. Crocha simply disguise.
3. Croche is inconvenient in a crib or stroller. The humpy newborn may be dissatisfied with the pose. In this case, he begins to cry, waving the limbs, trying to change the position. Exit - shifting the child to a more comfortable pose for him.
4. Baby frozen or sink. If the child is constantly humpy, sobs, he has blusted and hot skin, he is too hot. With the crying and pallor of the skin, on the contrary, make a conclusion about the supercooling of the baby. Parents need to move it, based on the room temperature.

How to understand a newborn who is experiencing physical discomfort? It is enough to exercise elementary attentiveness and sequencing the reactions of their chad.

Painful states

If the mother does not know why the newborn cries, he has disturbing symptoms, a doctor will help to answer all questions. For medical help you should contact if:

• children's crying is distinguished by monotony and monotony;
• the child is too sluggish, inactive;
• the body temperature is raised.

If the child is crying all the time, and it is not possible to install the source of the screams, it is better not to slow and call the doctor. What else should the parents know? Ways to help with some painful states are presented in the table.

The discomfort of psychological origin is another answer to the question why the baby is crying. A child can be overworked, bought by mom or scared loud sound.

The baby is able to cry, if he needs to attract parental attention. In this case, he prizes a few seconds and waits when mom is suitable. If the adult does not respond, then through a short interval, the cry is repeated.

Some experts do not recommend immediately enough baby on the handles to calm it. So that the baby does not grown "manual", it is better to iron directly in the crib. Most likely, he will quickly calm down, as soon as the mother's voice is heard.

Kid can cry and in protest. For example, if something I did not like the newborn, it will begin to scream sharply and loudly shout in all can. Most often can disturb children dressing, snatching nails, cleaning of ear-sinks.

Capricious newborn - the phenomenon is almost impossible, since such little children cry for objective reasons. So, tears and discontent provoke increased activity during the day, communication with strangers, excessively rich on emotions and events day.

If the newborn often cries in the evening, most likely he was overwhelmed. Remove fatigue will help:

• quiet entertainment;
• airing the room and air humidification;
• shaking;
• lullaby;
• laying in bed;

Warning crying and screams The baby is quite bye by abiding in the evening a certain sequence of steps. For example, you can buy, feed, put the baby, then turn off the light and sing your favorite lullaby. All this ritual will accelerate falling asleep.

Other reasons why kid crying

In addition to the main factors, there are other reasons why newborns are crying. The child can shout during swimming, urination, defecation, while falling asleep and awakening. And almost every cry specialists find a logical explanation.

Crying when urine

Some moms and dads note that newborns are crying during urination, resulting in scared. Usually, such a phenomenon occurs in healthy children, however, in some cases it may indicate certain health problems.

The most common reason that the baby shouts and climbs when walking to the toilet "in a small" - the fear of what is happening. Healthy child Simply does not understand the process of urination itself and cannot relax, so it starts to cry.

However, in some situations, tears and children's cries can be caused by painful sensations for diseases. So, the catalyst of the unfavorable process becomes:

• urinary tract infections;
• improper arrangement of extreme flesh, which is manifested by stagnation, suppuration, burning.

If, when urination, the child is constantly crying, it is necessary to consult with a pediatrician who will suggest to pass certain analyzes.

Crying during defecation

If newborns are honesty when walking into the restroom "in large", then, most likely, they have difficulties with the emptying of the intestine. When adapting the digestive tract, almost every child passes through the colic step and even.

When children's tears during a defecation, you need to pay attention to the features of the feces, as well as to remember that the child has driven over the past few days.

The main factors of the appearance of crying and screams in newborns during the empty of the intestine are:

• who arise due to the transition to artificial feeding or change the mixture;
• intestinal colic;
• inflammatory bowel diseases.

If the child is regularly crying when defecated, and in its feces there are bloody or mucous allocations, incomprehensible inclusions, be sure to sign on the reception to the pediatrician.

Many parents notice that the newborn baby shouts in a dream. First of all, it should be inspecting a crib and a pose in which the baby is wors out to eliminate physical discomfort as a reason.

Experts call other reasons why the infants cry and shout during sleep. Provoke children's crying maybe:

• colic, about which we have already spoken above;
• nervous overwork;
• cutting teeth;
• any disease;
• hunger;
• nightmare;
• detection of the absence of mom.

Many specialists do not recommend waiting for the fact that the child will finally wake up, otherwise he will simply do not want to sleep. It is best to stroke the crumb, to shake a little. If the crying does not stop, then you can take it on your hands and shift a little.

Crying during swimming

Another question that bothers the parents is why the child is crying during swimming. The reasons for the tears during the aquatic procedures of Multi-Fiction. Highlight several main factors that affect the behavior of a child during swimming:

1. Disoccupatory water temperature. The kid can respond negatively to excessively cold or hot water. Also affects the well-being and temperature of the bathroom. Before swimming, it is important to verify the optimal indicators of water and air temperature.
2. Too big bath. Some children are afraid of large volumes of adult bath. In this case, experts advise before lowering the baby to the pelleon. This reduces the psychological stress.
3. Fear before bathing. Negative emotions arise due to penetration into the eyes of soap foam, getting into the mouth or ears of water. The child in such a situation in every way prevents the water procedure.
4. Uncomfortable position. Many mothers are afraid to harm the child, so they hold it too tight. This leads to the fact that the newborn begins to express discontent and protest during swimming.
5. Related factors. Worsamp for children's mood is capable of feeling hunger, as well as colic. It is exactly the cause of discontent, the signs of which we have already spoken above will help. So that the water procedures take place calmly, you need to get rid of unpleasant symptoms.

Some neurological problems are also accompanied by reluctance to swim. However, crying and cries may occur during sleep or eating. In this case, it is important to contact a neurologist for a comprehensive examination.

Each mother is able to find approach to own babyif it becomes closely watching him. Let initially children seem to be the same to parents, but then, as communication establishes, literally every squeak will be filled with its special meaning.

I know that I am read mostly moms who will never leave the child to cry alone in the crib. But still there are cases when public opinion, Soviets of "knowledgeable" girlfriends, and even like an adequate pediatrician! So "scoring" the feelings of the maternal heart that it ceases to hear the call about the help of a small man ...

I personally know such a story and its participants. And they told it from the point of view of the fact that now the child is very independent, everything can do and can do himself, maybe it was necessary?

And the story is:

there was a young and beautiful couple: a husband is a successful businessman, she is a successful and beautiful lady, which is engaged in something for the soul. And they were born in their son. She decided that he would be the most smart, independent - in general, the best. And he began directly from birth to him actively engage in all possible techniques and developments, having moved all their affairs. But now is not about it ...

At seven months at the parental council, it was decided that the baby it's time to sleep separately and become independent. Learned the advanced teaching technologies to independent popping.

And started ...

Two days, they were together sitting under the door of the nursery and listened to the inhuman cries of the child, losing the last hope for the rescue. And on the third night, a miracle happened - the child went to sleep well. And from that night I got the day from the day all the most independent ...

True, it turned out that he had attacks of anonymous aggression and anger that he sometimes became inadequate, but all were written off on character - there are such features?

Here is a story. In my opinion, the story about how to prove to the child that help to wait for now, that here is the jungle, and no one (even mom), if anything will not save. All by myself!

Maybe someone is such a story and did not seem especially terrible, maybe someone also thinks that the result is worth it?

Let's figure it out for such independence.

Here is interesting information for "strict, but fair" enemy's opponents of the baby at Mom: In 2011, a study was conducted under the serious scientific name "asynchrony of the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal axis of the activity of the mother and baby after stopping the answer to the crying of the baby during the transition to SNU (Wendy Middlemiss, Douglas A.Granger, Wendy A. Goldberg, Laura Nathans, 2011). Why argue whether the baby falls asleep happy sleep or silently turns off, while experiencing bitterness and anxiety? This can be accurately installed experimentally. After all, we live at such a time when devices can measure anything, even the degree of sympathy and mutual understanding.

So, the experiment participated 25 kids, boys and girls under the age of 10 months. For five days, Moms taught them to fall asleep, following the famous recipe. In a strict scientific language, all this disgrace was called "Communication of maternal and infant behavior with infant signals during the period of study by independent population." At the same time, moms and children were taken to the analysis of saliva and determined how the level of cortisol stress hormone changes.

On the first day of the experiment, the levels of cortisol at the time of anxiety during the fallback were "positively connected." Simply put, when the child began to cry, the level of cortisol was raised from him, and the mother. As soon as the baby calmed down, fell asleep, the level of cortisol decreased from both.

On the second day, when the child began to cry, and his mother did not fit to him, the levels of stress hormones were still "positively connected."

But on the third day of the experiment, scientists registered "physiological and behavioral dissonance" in children. The level of stress hormones was still raised and long held at a steadyly high level, but the children were no longer crying. The moms of raising the level of cortisol from this day no longer was noted.

Scientists came to the conclusion that dissonance between the physiological and behavioral response of the child leads to the dissonance of the mother's hormonal response. Now in the scientific environment it is discussed how unfortunately such a violation of the determinants of maternal and children's physiological synchronicities in early childhood.

It turns out that mothers who advised girlfriends proven way to give to cry, so that the child would calmly fall asleep, deceived themselves and others themselves! Yes, it is true that when parents teach a child that no one will seriously take his "whims", then in the end the child ceases to cry alone in the crib. True, and from the point of view of the mother, he "perfectly falls asleep himself," she stops feeling how he really really is. But it is not true that it is harmless and even good for a child whose stress hormones remain elevated (stress hormones are capable of damaging the brain). And it turns out that in fact the mother does not train, but artificially blocks a normal innate physiological response.

... But what happens with the child? A spanish pediatrician Carlos Gonzalez in his book "Kiss me!" Kiss me! How to raise children with love. "

In 1950, at the request of United Nations, John Bowlby began collecting materials for the needs of orphans. As a result of this work, a book appeared, which describes the impact on children separation from parents. The material for the book was mainly observing the children who went to the hospital, and for those children who were separated from their parents and evacuated to the countryside, saving from London's bombings during World War II.

Among the frequently manifested short-term separation effects were the following ...

The children became very demanding to mother or those who have looked after them, constantly demanded attention to themselves, insisted that everyone performed as they wanted, and experienced terrible attacks of jealousy and outbreak of irritation.

With any of the adults who were located nearby, children tied the most formal, although externally prosperous relationships.

The children fell into apathy, lost interest in what was happening, indulged by the rhythm actions of the type of swinging back and forth, sometimes intentionally beat their heads.

According to Dr. Ferber (a large supporter of child inaccuilding to fall asleep independently, leaving them crying first for one minute, then three, then five; what is called "Ferbra's method", and in Spain known as "Estimel Method") In some cases, such rhythmic actions and heads of head are normal:

Many children are repeating, rhythmic actions before bedtime, or when they wake up among the nights or in the morning. They swing, standing on all fours, swing their heads from side to the sides, beating their heads about the pillow or mattress. At night, such behavior can continue until the child falls asleep, and in the mornings - until a complete awakening. If the child begins to make such rhythmic actions under the age of one and a half years and for the most part stops them to three or four years, it usually does not indicate the presence of psychological problems. Most often, children with such behavior are happy and healthy kids without noticeable problems or essential difficulties in the family.

It is amazing, to what double standards are pediatricians in assessing what is normal behavior, and what - no, - concludes Carlos Gonzalez.

So, we see that the child, whom "just" leave to pay, demonstrates the same signs as the child who fell into the bombing and the remaining orphan without parents! But the advocates of the method "pay and stop will" offer us to believe that it is normal and that the baby is healthy and happy ... This is not so from a moral point of view, nor from the point of view of evidence-based medicine, impassively fixing in children the signs of severe stress with the external lack of reaction.

Moms, remember this when you offer to leave the child "shine a little that then everything was fine."

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