At the age of 15, when I was still in school, I met a nice guy who attracted my attention. He was not handsome, he was slightly taller than me. We dated for a long time - three and a half years. But now it's - ex-boyfriend.
Since I was only 15 years old and he was 18, we initially had only a platonic relationship for a long time. Then we got close for the first time. Apparently I was not mature enough for such a relationship, so further intimate moments did not bring me joy. It was scary to tell him everything. I was afraid of offending him.
Besides, I liked his attitude towards me. He was caring, not rude, he loved me. But apparently I don’t have it. I realized such an important fact only after we broke up. But before the breakup there was a lot more, including constant tears and scandals.
After a year of dating, my ex-boyfriend was drafted into the army. For a moment it seemed to me that I loved him. Well, most likely, it was just a pity and scary to let him go to nowhere. Of course, I promised to wait for him. And I waited. She waited faithfully, wrote letters, my mother and I collected and sent him parcels with chocolates and other joys. I had a good relationship with his parents. We called each other, I went to visit them. In a word, for two years she was like a “faithful husband’s wife.”
It should be noted that I was only 16 years old at the time. Dreams of a further and happy life with him never left me. Until I entered college.
There I met a girl. We studied by correspondence in a neighboring city and went to sessions. Naturally they lived together and told each other all their deepest secrets.
She was also 17 years old and was dating a boy three years older than her. And we often had conversations about relationships. She told me how they went on vacation together, how they communicated with their parents and other little things. After thinking a little, I realized that I had never had such a relationship with my boyfriend. I began to envy her, and then I decided that when my beloved comes from the army, everything will follow the same scenario. It is worth clarifying here that there was nothing paradoxical or extraordinary in their relationship. They simply treated each other with love and soul. They enjoyed their time together.
My young man came from the army. Having hugged and kissed him, I did not feel that pull, that happiness that I expected from his arrival. I was angry with myself, I didn’t want to betray him after two years that we were apart. And he, apparently sensing my attitude, also began to move away from me. I began to go out with friends more and more often. Often he would stay overnight at a friend’s place, and I would sit at home and shed tears. Now I understand that I myself led this relationship to this outcome of events.
After “suffering” together for six months, I decided to break up with him. Of course, then I believed that he was the culprit. Resentment clouded my eyes.
A week later I found out that he started dating a girl. A week later, details of his adventures on the side began to emerge. And five months later, I learned from a mutual friend that he got married and would soon become a dad. Here's how.
After crying a little from the same resentment, I began to understand myself. It seemed to me that there was something wrong with me, that I was so callous and cold, incapable of love, and therefore no one needed me.
But my torment did not last long. I met my husband. The first time we met, I liked talking to him. It was interesting and tempting to be with him. And he, as it turned out later, fell in love with me at first sight. When I got married, I again thought that I was only allowing myself to be loved. That I myself have only respect for my husband. But now, after analyzing the whole situation and going through several difficult moments, I realized that I love my husband. I was convinced of this only when I projected the difficulties that had arisen and their resolution onto past relationships. What my ex-boyfriend and failed husband would have done. I looked at myself from the outside and realized that I would not be able to give my ex those feelings and the warmth that I now give to my husband.
Therefore, we can conclude that then I really didn’t love. And the decision to separate was made correctly. He is now happy with his wife and daughter, and with his husband and son. Still, it’s good that I have such experience behind me. I don't regret it at all.
About the site
“Everything is known by comparison” Nietzsche.
Welcome to the comparison survey site site
A comparative survey site will help you compare things, phenomena, objects, organizations, and various products.A comparison site survey site will help you answer questions such as “What is better?”, “What to choose?”, “What do you like?”, “What to use?”, “Where is better?” "What's worse?" etc. Search engine sites help us find the information we need. Here you can always compare what you found
You can always create the comparison you need yourself,
The Veralline questionnaire site will help you find out the pros and cons, advantages and disadvantages, find out what was previously unknown about those things and phenomena that were not paid attention to before.
Veralline makes you think, reflect, compare, but it also saves time, since all comparisons and surveys are collected in one place.
Veralline can also be fun; a section was created specifically for this; it compares things that cannot be compared in real life.
Every comparison on the Veralline website comes with free surveys. Surveys are needed to quickly find out what most people think. Voting is open-ended, so each comparison object can become a leader and overtake others listed in the survey.
Online voting, as already mentioned above, can be carried out on any topic, you can make a comparison on a serious topic, or just on a topic that is interesting.
You can express your opinion or read the opinions of other people in the comments. If you find any error or misrepresentation of facts, you need to write to the author, or
If this is how spouses evaluate their family, that’s great! Should you doubt your family's assessment?
It is important to affirm such an assessment and support it. Outsiders may say that you are mistaken and point out some shortcomings. So be it. These comments may be real, or they may be made out of envy. Live by your own mind, rely on your opinion. Let those around you criticize you, and you can mentally say: “My family is the best,” or you can say it out loud.
Take care of your family happiness!
We have a good family
Sometimes things don't go well in a family. At the same time, the spouses overcome difficulties together and believe: “We have a good family!” This is right?
Definitely yes". Considering your family “good”, you cannot compare it with other families. Take for comparison the past stage of your family life, in which you overcame difficulties and resolved problems. For example, you, through joint efforts, have achieved that one of you or both of you has managed to find a decent job, an income has appeared that allows you to plan for the future, you are a good family!
Such a positive approach will motivate to further improve life and maintain a positive family tone.
We have a bad family
Problems have accumulated, and it is impossible to overcome them or get out of a difficult financial situation. The situation has become tense, disputes and quarrels are arising more and more often.
“Are we a bad family?”
You should not exaggerate. Yes, things are bad and difficult for you now. And the family situation can deteriorate to a bad one.
But this is comparatively bad. Especially if you look at families for whom everything is simpler. It is better to approach the assessment of difficulties from a different angle. You can't give up. Find the strength within yourself to overcome obstacles. Consider the situation as a field of action to eliminate negativity and improve. It is not for nothing that the course of life is often interpreted as a change of black and white stripes. Let your assessment of the family as bad fall on the black streak, try to overcome it, strive for the white streak, then the “bad” rating will change to “good”.
We have an absolutely bad family
We cannot exclude the possibility that the spouses will come to this opinion. What to do in such a case?
The situation is serious and critical if the spouses feel that all possibilities for improving their lives have been exhausted. An absolutely bad family is not needed. Perhaps you should force yourself to just be patient while waiting for changes for the better. In the future, it’s not worth saving a bad family, you need to break off the relationship.
But this seemingly absolutely hopeless situation is still relative. After all, there is an opportunity, without repeating old mistakes, to create a new “good” family.
Fight for your happiness!
Without thinking about the assessment
“Excellent, good, bad” - this is how you can evaluate a family. Is it possible not to evaluate?
Apparently it is possible. If you don’t think about assessing your family, accept it as it is, you are satisfied with the family environment, there is no reason to think about the state of the family - you are great!
Be satisfied living for the sake of your family, rejoice, be sad, and live and rejoice again!
Literature:
- N. Kozlov. The formula for success or the philosophy of life of a successful person. - M. AST-PRESS, 2002 - 304 p.
Without comparison, we would never have a correct idea about certain things. How can you tell whether a person is tall or not if there is no way to compare him with other people?
For example, we see a guy who is clearly taller than everyone else. But another guy comes up to him, 1.5 times his size, and then that first tall guy already seems like some kind of dwarf compared to the thug. The same rules apply in star society. Some famous big guys aren't really that big when you look at it objectively!
1. Let's start with one of the biggest bad guys - Arnold Schwarzenegger. His height is currently about 180 cm, and his weight is approximately 100 kg.
2. And here is Arnie in the company of professional strongmen and powerlifters. He's not so big anymore, right?
3. Here Arnie is next to wrestling legend Andre the Giant. It turns out our “terminator” is just tiny!
4. Another big, beefy guy is Vin Diesel.
5. But compared to “The Rock” it doesn’t seem so big anymore.
6. Although, if Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson stands next to basketball player Shaquille O’Neal, he himself will seem like a baby.
7. But! Shaq isn't the biggest guy yet! Here he is standing next to the famous basketball player Yao Ming. I really can’t believe it...
8. And here are Alexey Bekker (left) and Alexander Eskin (right). They seem like incredibly big guys!
9. Although, against the background of Mikhail Koklyaev (height - 192 cm and weight - 160 kg), everything changes.
10. But even Misha may not seem so big when he is next to Kirill Sarychev (height - 197 cm, weight - 180 kg).
11. It’s worth remembering another really big guy, Hafthor Bjornson, Ser Gregor “The Mountain” Clegane from the Game of Thrones series.
