What is motherhood - an honorable mission of a woman, laid down in her by a natural program, or the same hard and difficult work as a teacher, cook or doctor? The magazine tried to figure out what it means to be a mother in modern Belarus.
On the one hand, if mom is a job, then there should be a vacation, an opportunity to quit, go on sick leave, change her if she's tired. On the other hand, if it was only about the natural program, modern woman would not be much different from the cave female and would hardly be able to afford to be realized in other areas.
And yet, today, most women are inclined to believe that being a mother is hard and everyday work that can and should pay off. Let not financially, but at least morally. Although financial issues are not at all superfluous here.
Being a mom is hard daily work
Former skater Elena, after receiving a serious back injury, was forced to leave her hobby. Coaching work, although it brought income, but Elena did not feel moral satisfaction. And quite unexpectedly for herself, she found him in ... motherhood.
“At first I was afraid that I was not ready to take responsibility for a small life, and then I realized that this is the very work that I like and in character,” admits Elena.
According to her, it only seems from the outside that motherhood is an easy task, the program inherent in every woman, in fact, being a mother is hard daily work.
“Officially, having given birth to a child, a woman is allegedly on“ vacation ”, albeit maternity leave. I wonder how many men would agree to rest like that? " Elena laughs.
But if being a mom is a job, then shouldn't she be adequately paid? What kind of finance can we talk about today?
“Today, a Belarusian woman leaving a permanent job on maternity leave (which usually happens at 30 weeks of pregnancy) is entitled to a sick leave, a lump-sum maternity allowance and a monthly child support allowance for up to three years,” explains accountant Elena Osipova.
The amount of sick leave depends on the woman's average daily salary over the past six months. This average earnings is multiplied by 126 calendar days, since, in accordance with the Labor Code of Belarus, pregnant women are granted maternity leave with a duration of 70 calendar days before childbirth and 56 (in cases of complicated childbirth or the birth of two or more children - 70) calendar days after childbirth. ...
During this period, a woman receives lump sum, which does not depend on the number of days that she actually spent on sick leave before the onset of X-day.
“It should be remembered that the accounting department does not include in the calculation of average daily earnings payments related to labor leave, sick leave, material assistance and various bonuses,” Osipova clarifies.
The procedure for calculating maternity benefits is different for unemployed women, women entrepreneurs, unemployed and female students. The amount of the allowance depends on the woman's earnings before the day of maternity leave.
But the amount of a one-time childbirth allowance is strictly determined by the state. Since January 2016, it has been 15,913,100 rubles (10 living wage budgets - in recalculation, it turns out to be slightly more than $ 750).
For the second and subsequent children, the mother is paid 14 living wage budgets - that is, 22,278,340 rubles. The amount of the monthly allowance for caring for a child under three years of age for the first child is 2,450,500 rubles per month, for the second and subsequent children - 2,800,500 rubles.
If a family has a disabled child up to three years old, the state pays 3,150,600 rubles a month for his maintenance.
In addition to these payments according to the law, women registered for pregnancy in antenatal clinic, a one-time allowance (a kind of bonus for obedience to law) is also paid in the amount of one living wage budget - 1.591.310 rubles.
For comparison: in neighboring Lithuania, the size of the childbirth allowance is 8 living wages. In this case, you can be on parental leave for three years, but the maternity (paternity) benefit is paid either within a year (in the amount of 100% of the salary), or for two years (in the first year, 70% of the salary , in the second - 40%).
However, according to Elena, who, by the way, is just waiting for the second baby, the mother's work in Belarus, although not monetary, is no less honorable and important from this. Although ideal for most Belarusian women on maternity leave, – possibility of running in on the side. The main thing to remember is that in order to keep the amount of the childcare benefit in full, officially it should work only under a work contract and nothing else.
Belarusian women are entitled to one of the longest maternity leave in the world. For comparison, in the US mothers are paid from 6 to 12 weeks of parental leave, in Belgium and Sweden - only three months. In some countries, together (and not instead of!) The father may go on parental leave with the mother. So, Austria is ready to pay his father up to six months of such leave.
Let Mom Hear! Let mom come!
A couple of years ago, the President of Belarus demanded that by 2015 there should be no orphanages and boarding schools in the country. It was planned that all "state" children would be transferred to families for upbringing. But these plans have remained just loud statements.
Adopting someone else's child into your family is not an easy task. First of all, psychologically. One thing is a childish child, who is easy to adopt and accept as a family, and another thing is a teenager who understands and understands everything, warns the specialist of the education department, psychologist Olga Alexandrovna.
And he clarifies: “There can be no random people in this matter. The state has stood and will stand guard over the interests of minors, no matter what form of their placement in a family was discussed. "
However, if parents wish to adopt (adopt) a child, the state, although it will not provide them with any assistance (except for the appointment of a child allowance, of course), will not interfere in the affairs of the family either. Unless, of course, we are not talking about obvious violations of the rights of minors.
“If the form of placing a child in a new family becomes guardianship, patronage or guardianship, then state bodies will take such a family under their constant control,” Olga Aleksandrovna notes.
At the same time, in the case of a foster and foster family, one or both parents can count on employment and remuneration for their labor, respectively. To do this, they will conclude a contract for employment, which will spell out the rights and obligations of parents, as well as the amount of remuneration for their work.
According to the legislation of Belarus, one of the parents in a foster family has the status of a foster caregiver and is officially an employee of an institution for orphans. In this case, the director of the institution remains the main guardian of the child. The foster care provider receives a child support allowance and a salary for his upbringing. In this case, the child at any time can be removed from the family of the educator, transferred for adoption, returned to the biological parents. Communication of a child with biological relatives, as a rule, is mandatory.
Another thing is a foster family, in which the child is transferred to upbringing according to the contract until his majority. The adoptive parents receive an allowance for his maintenance, as well as a salary for his upbringing. At the same time, an agreement on the transfer of a child to a family for upbringing may be terminated early on the initiative of the adoptive parents if there are valid reasons (illness, change in family or property status, lack of understanding with the child, etc.), as well as on the initiative of the guardianship and guardianship authority in the event of unfavorable conditions for maintaining and raising a child in a foster family.
Not so long ago, Belarus was shocked by the story of the suicide of a young successful woman, in whose care were two of her own, four adopted and five adopted children. An active, constantly in the field of view of the media and seemingly quite happy woman was forced, as it turned out, to withstand various checks, nagging and unequivocal hints of the selfishness of her motives from various officials and ordinary residents of the city almost monthly.
“And all because in our society today there is a myth that people who take over other people's children, for the most part, want to make money on them. Moreover, not only on benefits, but also on “cheap labor”, ”says Alla, who became a foster parent for two weather sisters two years ago.
Alla with her husband, two natural daughters and two adopted girls, Tanya and Sveta, live in an agro-town in the Grodno region. She says that at first she was afraid to give foster girls any tasks around the house and garden. I heard stories about how children are taken from the family for alleged exploitation. He sent the vegetable garden to weed out - the monster. I drove out with cattle in the field - the slave owner.
“We are newcomers here, we moved with my husband to the village from the city. So I didn't want to tease the geese once again. So she was balancing between the reasonable upbringing of girls and neighborly gossip. Fortunately, now everything has calmed down, and the neighbors are used to our family, ”says Alla.
What kind of mythical easy money for a foster child, which ordinary people often envy, are we talking about? The average salary of foster parents-educators in Belarus today is 2-2.5 million rubles. Plus a separate child allowance for each child - a little more than 1 million rubles. At the same time, it is officially considered that the working time of such a parent is 8 hours a day. The remaining 16 hours spent with the children, however, count. Those who raise children know that this kind of money is not particularly fast. After all, both kids and those who are older should be dressed, shod, fed, treated, plus something to pamper.
Parents-caregivers are legally entitled to sick leave and even vacation. But in this case, the children from the family must be temporarily removed, which, of course, is not at all good for them. So it turns out that even though formally in the foster family, mom or dad are only hired workers, in fact, most of them are altruists who, for very little money, perform a huge role in socializing the underage citizens of the country abandoned by all.
"By 2015, there should be no orphanages and boarding schools in Belarus. ... This task was set by the president back in 2008"
There is little time left, a lot of work. Officials know their job. They called me to the center tomorrow :), they haven't called me for a long time, but here is something important. They told me to draw up a development plan for a foster family. We also drove so dry and hard that I have only one adopted child. They offered to take two children, apparently they give a chance to improve. That, I think, this is happening ... After all, until now everyone has been extremely correct, with care we have love and friendship, nothing but respect and attention (if it is impossible to help us, there is still attention) I am from the guardianship authorities did not feel. I went and asked the Internet. And here is the first article on Tut.by
Everything became clear. The article is true, at least from the inside I can see the same thing that the journalist saw. Personally, I somehow slip out for now. But I observe the described processes. But I'm not a fighter here, Irushka is enough for me. And it turns out that I'm not just defending any rights there, but I'm just glad that they don't bother us and don't threaten to take the child away. Here is such a cowardly position. I have forgotten that it simply will not work in our country. Either you are a murdered hero or a cowardly silent man. Cool though. How can any process be perverted.
A couple of quotes:
"A year ago, changes were made to the" Regulations on the foster family ". “Previously, foster families were allowed to have no more than 4 children: including their own and foster ones. Now foster families can be up to 4, this is a plus for relatives and adopted children. benefits like large families "ABOUT! here. that's where the calls come from.
"In the spring we were gathered in the education department and announced:" Get ready: we will give up to 4 children to a family. They said that they would give both infants and patients - any. As we all understood, our consent will not be asked too much "- says an indignant woman who is now raising one child and does not plan to take any more. According to her, in some villages in their area, new children are almost forcibly added to foster families.“One mother-educator at the meeting then said:“ And if I don’t agree? ”She was answered:“ Write a letter of resignation of your own free will ”very selfishly I hope that we will last six months, and I will not be fired on my own.
"
Foster children often have hereditary diseases, and how to treat them is a big question, - continues Elena Kashina. -With the latest changes in the "Regulations on the foster family," the obligation to reimburse the costs of treatment was imposed for some reason on the Councils of Deputies. Earlier this, however, was not spelled out at all. But how will the deputies do this? They have a session twice a year. Should an extra session be held for each new sick child? And the criterion has not yet been specified when it will be reimbursed and when not. "
it is true, there is no money for medicines and I don’t believe it will be. and I confirm that I will not be afraid of this word for the rehabilitation of a child after an orphanage - it is necessary both home child multiply by 5-7. Because everything "flies" in a row, our teeth have grown dearly. and intestinal microflora. if not for Irishka's American probiotics and enzymes - so that it was with that belly. and so nothing ... somehow getting better.
“It is clear that this is being done to save money in the budget. Giving up to four children to a family is, again, done in order to save money. This increases the prestige of our activities? How to deal with this in practice? - asks one of the parents.- Ka each adoptive parent is legally entitled to 56 days of leave, while the other spouse performs his functions under the contract for the duration of the vacation. But now he will not be paid for it. Is this slavery? " Read completely:
In Belarus, 18,179 children live in foster families, more than half of them can be adopted. The gradual abandonment of residential care for children in favor of foster families or family-type orphanages is a purposeful state policy. However, foster mothers say, the child needs a good family, not just any family.
Among children who live in foster families, 9,700 children are in foster care, 7,064 children are in foster families, 6,800 children are in foster families, and almost 2,000 children are in family-type orphanages.
There are 4902 children in boarding schools.
According to the Deputy Head of the Department of Social, Educational and Ideological Work of the Ministry of Education Elena Golovneva, the placement of newly identified orphans or children left without parental care in residential institutions decreased from 50% in the mid-1990s to 17% in 2013. Over the past three years, 12 boarding schools for children of the Ministry of Education have been closed in Belarus.
According to the director of the National Center for Adoption of the Ministry of Education Natalia Pospelova, almost four thousand children who can be adopted are in residential institutions, and nine thousand are in families.
Of the 551 children adopted last year, 172 came from foster families. “And I am convinced that there will come a time when every adoption will come from a foster home, because the residential system will simply cease to exist as a way of caring for children,” - noted Natalia Pospelova.
The state is interested in children being brought up in families, not in boarding schools. However, says Elena Kashina, a foster mother from Orsha, the child needs a good family, not just any family. Elena has three of her own and two adopted children.
Recently, three grown-up adopted children left her family - two young people and a girl who herself recently became a mother.
“When I see her shaking over her child, - said Elena Kashina, - although she has a significant developmental delay, I realize: we have achieved that she understands the value of family. My adopted children do not call for a long time only when they are doing well. And I find out about their life on social networks, where they point me out as a mother. While the elders were growing up, we had a lot of problems: theft, and running away from home, and vagrancy. Children raised in asocial families are very difficult. Anything can happen to the younger ones too, but it's easier. "
Two weather brothers Stas and Vlad have been living in Elena's family since two and three years old, now they are 9 and 10 years old. Elena is called a mother: “I raised them, they were very small when they came to me. The children are familiar with their biological mother, however, they have no parent-child connection with her ”.
The very meeting with her became stressful for the children, because the contact did not work out. Mom (deprived of parental rights in relation to Stas, Vlad and an older boy living in another foster family) does not drink now - she is encoded. However, he lives in terrible conditions, in an unsuitable room, without electricity.
It is curious that she announced plans to restore motherhood in relation to the older child.
“Neither the eldest boy, nor my children consider this woman a mother, they lived for many years without knowing her. To give children to this woman means to pull them out of their familiar environment, ” - Elena Kashina is sure.
As far as she knows, the boys' biological mother turned to the local authorities in Dubrovno, where she lives, with a request to help put the house in order before returning the child to the family.
"Tell me, does the boy need such a family?" - Elena asks.
According to her, "A woman pays funds for the maintenance of children, and her partner - their father - does not work anywhere and does not participate in this". “I do not understand why the state is not interested in establishing paternity?- Elena Kashina is surprised. - There are a lot of such cases when women deprived of parental rights alone reimburse the state for the costs of children. Foster parents are taught that the state does not have the means to pay them a normal salary and child support, and this resource is not used. "
Elena's salary as a foster parent is 2 million 600 thousand rubles (she has a long work experience and higher education). About 1 million 500 thousand rubles are paid for each adopted child:
“The work of foster parents is not paid properly, and the amount that the state allocates for children is not enough to support them with dignity. They give one and a half million for children, and ask for three. In order not to walk with an outstretched hand, you have to earn money. So it turns out that you need to either watch the children, or earn money. Not surprisingly, foster parents say that they invest more in foster children than in their own - both morally and financially. Tell me, what are your own children to blame? "
Elena Kashina believes that a foster family should be professional, since it is not enough to warm up and feel sorry for the children. To raise many children at once different ages and different levels of social adaptation of children, you must have the appropriate knowledge and experience.
“Our guardianship authorities proceed from the fact that“ it is quiet, - noted the adoptive mother. - As a result, the children end up in foster families, where they are with them. Or they get to people who are not ready for such a test, as a result, they are often shuffled in different families. Parents cannot cope, and children suffer. "
In addition, there is a problem of legal conflicts between labor and family legislation in the regulation of foster families. Foster parents are employees, but it is difficult for them to exercise basic labor rights.
“For example, it is practically impossible to exercise the right to leave, to take a break, to a certain working time. Thus, the employment contract does not provide anything other than the opportunity to receive wages. Material support for families with adopted children is insufficient, both legal and psychological ", - notes Elena Kashina.
Have mother of many children from Bobruisk Olga Kaznacheeva three relatives and five adopted children - from one and a half to 17 years. Several months ago the family received the status of a family-type children's home, where Olga works as a teacher.
"My salary, -she says - like a teacher kindergarten... It turns out a little more than 3 million rubles. I receive an allowance for each adopted child. "
Olga does not talk about material problems. Their family is very happy with the house that the state provided them. To have the status of a family orphanage, there must be at least ten children, so Olga will soon have two more children. While Olga will work as a teacher, the family will live in a large house. If he leaves work, he will have to return to his apartment.
Olga is pleased with the support of the education department specialists, psychologists in particular: “Everything is good in our region. I can always count on help. Difficulties with children are serious, but solvable. Indeed, in order to raise so many children, it is not enough to be kind and good, you have to be educated, strict and loving. "
Olga is sure that the family is not important for children by itself, but a good family. She believes that certain requirements for biological, when children are returned to them, are fully justified and should not be reduced.
Olga herself grew up in a dysfunctional family and wanted to create a family that she did not have, wanted to help the children to take place.
“It is important for me to give them a resource in order to establish an independent life. You see, I see how from very difficult children, whom some people around called last words, my children are becoming ordinary. I understand that heredity can shoot out at any moment, but the conditions in which a child is brought up change him, adapt him to life, give him the opportunity to become happy and create a prosperous family in the future ”, - Olga Kaznacheeva is sure.
A foster family is one of the best options (besides adoption, of course) of caring for children without parental and orphan care. Spouses or individuals accept one or more wards into the family, between them and the guardianship and trusteeship authority are:
- an agreement on the transfer of a child to foster care;
- labor contract.
The documents must indicate the period of upbringing. Foster parents are guaranteed wages, seniority and leave.
Foster parents: what should they be?
Any adult (gender is not important) can become a foster parent. The legal exceptions are:
- incapacitated and partially incapacitated (by court decision) persons;
- people deprived of family rights or limited in them;
- guardians suspended from guardianship duties;
- former adoptive parents (with forced cancellation of adoption);
- people with certain diseases (persons with disabilities of groups I and II).
Foster children in the family: transfer features
- One of the main principles is the principle of territoriality: the family should be within the department of a certain department of education.
- A child with physical and mental development will come to the family if the adoptive parents have expressed their consent and can provide the proper conditions.
- The opinion of the children regarding the move to a new temporary home is taken into account: from the age of 10, they give written consent.
- The foster home should not have more than 4 children (including relatives).
How is a foster family formed in Belarus?
If you want to become a foster family, prepare documents: application, passport, marriage certificate, honey. certificates, written consent of family members, information on income. Get ready to check the living conditions and master the educational program! After signing contracts and the child's arrival at a new home
Minsk residents who have adopted children need the support of psychologists.
- To this day, I regret that I once did not listen to the words of the caregivers of the Children's Home, - confesses Natalya Stepanovna, who 16 years ago took custody of three-year-old Sasha (the names of the interlocutor and the child have been changed for ethical reasons . – Approx. ed.). - I was told: the girl's character is complex, think carefully before taking her to the family. I believed that I could do it, it was not for nothing that I received a pedagogical education. But alas ...
At first, everything seemed to be going well: the woman's relatives supported her good impulse, the 6-year-old son Vladik gladly accepted the appearance of his sister. Even neighbors and acquaintances did not annoy me with the question: "Where did the daughter come from?" It was assumed that the girl lived with her grandparents, and did not go into details.
Active? So after all, children are supposed to be fidgets! Stubborn? Let's try to negotiate. Does he like to fight? Nothing, we will reeducate. However, it became more and more difficult to correct Sasha's behavior every day.
“Four years later, I was offered to become a foster parent,” recalls Natalya Stepanovna. - I learned a lot of useful things for myself at special preparatory courses. I sighed with relief when I realized that I was not the only one with such problems with the child. She shared her experiences with other parents, took note of their experiences. Again I began to believe that everything would work out. And then Sasha went to school ...
The teachers cried as they tried to raise the disobedient student. Vlad, ashamed of his sister, began to avoid her. An Italian family, once hosting Alexandra for a summer vacation, sent her back a week later. In 2008, for hooligan antics, the girl ended up in an educational institution closed type in the Gomel region, where she stayed for 2 years. Returning to Minsk, she entered the technological college. She refused the hostel - with a request to shelter she came to her former adoptive mother.
“And I took her again, because my heart has already become attached to the child,” says Natalya Stepanovna. - I asked only to settle down, to behave well.
However, persuasion did not work on Alexandra. She was soon expelled from college for gross violations of discipline and chronic academic failure.
Already more than a year the girl lives alone - becoming an adult, she received social housing as an orphan. Her way of life is far from righteous: she does not work, she is registered at the drug dispensary. True, Alexandra visits Natalya Stepanovna regularly, she still calls her mother.
“After all, Sasha has no one else but me and Vlad,” the woman sighs. - My own mother abandoned her in the hospital. Grandparents did not even want to see their granddaughter at the time. There were no people willing to adopt either. So this is my cross, and I will carry it for the rest of my life ... I really wanted to help the child. If then I knew what lay ahead, perhaps I would not have dared to take such a step ...
I'm glad to study - it's a shame to admit
There are a lot of similar stories, but they usually do not receive wide publicity: among the inhabitants it is somehow not customary to discuss how difficult it is to bring up other people's children. Not in material terms, no: everything is clear here anyway - additional finances are never superfluous. It's about accepting someone else's child for who he is, the ability to find contact with him, see and understand his problems.
It is still a little easier for foster parents: they, as members of the staff of education departments, periodically gather for methodological associations, have the opportunity to speak out and get the necessary advice. It is more difficult for adoptive parents. First of all, because many of them try to hide the fact of the adoption of a child, they strive to be like everyone else and are silent about the difficulties that arise. One of the grave consequences of the "secret" family life adoptive parents are abandoning the child. Fortunately, this does not happen often.
“It is not customary for us to wash dirty linen in public,” says Zinaida Vorobieva, head of the sector of social and pedagogical work and child protection of the Education Committee of the Minsk City Executive Committee. - We love to create the appearance of well-being, besides, by default, we believe that we know how to raise children. But you also need to understand that the behavior of a child who lived in an orphanage will definitely differ from the behavior of a domestic child. These children already come with problems and are simply forced to behave differently. Parents' expectations are not met, and not everyone is ready to accept outside help.
Meanwhile, the support of psychologists (and experienced specialists, and not yesterday's graduates of universities) is required by adoptive parents for a long time. This also applies to parents-educators of family-type children's homes.
“Imagine a mom and dad who have 2 of their own children and at least 8 more strangers,” says Zinaida Vasilievna. - They live in constant fear - will the foster children affect their relatives? In my opinion, it would be good to also have a psychotherapist, at least one per 10 children home of the family type.
Word behind the scenes
Social and psychological centers (SOCs), which opened more than 10 years ago in every district of Minsk, will never refuse the necessary assistance. Candidates for adoptive parents and guardians are also trained there.
- Once a week we conduct group and individual sessions, - explains the director of the SOC with the shelter of the Pervomaisky district Elena Shalaeva. - We keep observation diaries and give an opinion on how the person is psychologically ready for adoption. Training lasts 1.5 months; the main goal is the unconditional acceptance of children. We try to convey to students that the process of adaptation of a child in a family can take a long time and parents should not be locked up in themselves. Future adoptive parents can also undergo appropriate training at the National Center for Adoption.
By the way, SOC specialists prepare children who have received the status of those in need of state protection for living in foster families.
Thus, the conditions for the training and support of adoptive parents have been created, the only problem is the constant shortage of personnel.
“For example, we have 3 pedagogical psychologists: 1 in the shelter and 2 in the center,” says Elena Shalaeva. - I can't say that this amount is enough, but our specialists have extensive experience and rich life and professional experience. They cope, but it's worth it, of course, a lot of effort.
With a residence permit
In terms of adoption, Minsk is an outsider among other regions of Belarus. And this despite the fact that the population in the capital is huge and the average income of city residents is much higher than in the periphery.
- It seems to me that Minsk residents are stopped by the housing issue: it is difficult to build housing in the capital, - suggests the director of the SOC of the Pervomaisky district. - People may have a spiritual impulse, but the lack of the necessary square meters often spoils everything. Yes and public opinion plays a big role. Spouses, for example, decide to take the child, and relatives and friends, as a rule, begin to dissuade: why do you need this?
Zinaida Vorobyova, in turn, draws attention to the fact that residents of Minsk often adopt children from the regions, cases are considered at the place of residence of the child, and the indicators, respectively, are not attributed to Minsk.
- There is one more thing, - the specialist notes. - Prospective adoptive parents can contact the education department of their district or the National Adoption Center. In the second case, they receive a referral to meet a specific child who can live in any region of the country. But in the first case, the referral is issued only to a child living in the territory of the district where the education department is located. That is, a Minsk resident living in the Frunzensky district cannot adopt a child, for example, from the Leninsky district. In my opinion, this creates artificial boundaries. At the same time, a child who lives in any area can be taken into care.
For your information
In 2013, Minsk residents adopted 81 children. These are mainly children under the age of 6.
Belarus - the only country in the post-Soviet space, where benefits are paid for adopted children (at the request of the adoptive parent) until they reach the age of 16.
All information related to the adoption of children can be found on the website of the National Adoption Center (http://child.edu.by/) and on the Dadomu.by portal (http://dadomu.by). There are also photos of guys who need a family.
