"You have to be persuasive." When we hear this phrase, many immediately imagine an obsessive seller trying to sell a second-rate product to a gullible buyer. A person who is not very attractive, ready to beg, push, suppress with authority - in general, go to any lengths, if only they would buy at least something from him.
But the gift of persuasion is something completely different. Elizabeth Wellington, resource author The Muse, wrote an excellent text on how to sell without scaring people with her pressure.
In fact, the ability to convince other people is an important skill that helps you sell products, services, and your brilliant ideas. And even win arguments with friends.
At the same time, people with the gift of persuasion do not look either intrusive or prone to dominance. On the contrary, they are able to inspire trust, know how to listen and are able to win over to their side so that you do not feel as if you are betraying your principles.
The gift of persuasion is needed in any field, but especially in the one that concerns sales. David Brennan, general manager of the company mesa, one of the largest car dealers in the US, knows how to sell things beyond the stereotypes.
Too much pressure doesn't work
When a sales manager is too assertive, this may mean that he is not really sure about the quality of his product - he presses, compensating for this very uncertainty.
Brennan doesn't think being too pushy is working. He is sure that the goods must first be sold to oneself:
“If you yourself do not want to buy your product, the person with whom you communicate will have the feeling that they want to buy it, and not the desire to buy into your persuasion.”
To be on the same wavelength with a person, you need to feel comfortable yourself, and then you will sound convincing, no matter what you try to prove.
So the first step to success is confidence in yourself and what you say. In order to find it, you will have to ask yourself some uncomfortable questions.
For example, if you are promoting a new project, it makes sense to find and fix weaknesses in it.
If you are selling a product, but do not fully know all its functions, first carefully study it and, if possible, try it out for yourself.
In general, whatever you sell, before convincing others to buy it, prove to yourself that it is a very necessary thing.
Master Mirror Listening
Those who focus not on their own person, but on their audience, have the ability to convince. When you listen to her, trust and mutual understanding arise between you: you listen to the interlocutor, and from this he becomes more open, receptive to what you say.
If you are a good listener, this guarantees you 100% that you will not be seen as being too intrusive.
You do not need to be a person who smoothly states and says what the interlocutor wants to hear. To be persuasive, you need to take the time to really hear the person. You need to understand what exactly interests him.
Mirror listening is not passive. It does not mean that you will just stand and silently listen - it is assumed that you will maintain a dialogue, “mirror” the body language of the interlocutor, repeating his gestures, and at the same time remain in the shadows without pulling the blanket over yourself.
A simple example. Brennan himself, in training new sales managers, suggests resorting to an elementary trick that allows you to melt the ice in a relationship, namely, to repeat after the buyer what he says.
The salesman hears: “I came to buy a car for my daughter; she is already an adult, she has rights, it’s time to go to tennis herself” and answers: “Oh, does your daughter play tennis?”
It is likely that the client will then continue: “Oh yes, and she is doing great! Now they are leaving for the competition, and she will have to lead all the way. I am very worried that there are no incidents on the road.”
It may seem that all this is empty chatter, which only takes time. However, in reality, this dialogue allows the seller to find out the necessary information.
In a few minutes, he learns what the client needs (a car for his daughter) and what worries him in the first place (her safety). Now the seller has the information, and he can offer exactly the option that the buyer needs.
Mirror listening always helps when you need to convince the interlocutor of something. Not only the buyer: you can also communicate with the recruiting manager during the interview, and with friends whom you want to persuade to go to a new restaurant.
Solve the problem
When you have already understood what worries your interlocutor, offer ideas for solving this particular problem.
If we go back to the example of a father buying a used car for his daughter, then the salesperson in this case should focus on safety, because this is what the customer cares about the most.
“I understand that the price of this car is at the very top of the price range that you expected. I suggest it to you because we recently put new tires on it and, unlike other cars of this model, it is equipped with an anti-lock system. In addition, in the safety rating, it is at the very top.
Please note: the seller does not make excessive promises, does not exaggerate, he simply honestly (and confidentially) explains why his product is suitable for this client. Thus, he offers a person a simple and quick solution to his problem.
By building trust, using mirror listening techniques, and solving a problem, you actually form a special relationship. Instead of pushing people, you show that you understand their needs and give advice based on your experience and knowledge. This is a mutually beneficial process, and no one imposes anything on anyone.
To convince means to prove or disprove a position by logical arguments!!
If your ability to convince people leaves much to be desired, or you can’t manage to convince a person in any way, and each of your meetings “is like a collision of two billiard balls that sharply click and scatter in different directions, without changing their shape or color, and not leaving traces on each other”, then our advice is just for you.
In order to convince a person that you are right, to convince a person to stop drinking, smoking, or to convince a person to buy something, etc., it is necessary to understand that the effectiveness of persuasion largely depends on the appropriately selected argumentation.
Factors that contribute to increasing the effectiveness of arguments during persuasion:
1. The credibility of the source of information, that is, the one who convinces.
2. The importance of the problem itself, that is, the persuasiveness of what is being said.
3. The nature of the group or person being persuaded or persuaded.
When you try to convince a person of something and use various methods of argumentation, the person may treat you with either trust, doubt or distrust.
The value of the personality of the person who convinces
The persuasiveness of the arguments and the credibility of them largely depends on the image and status of the persuasive. It is one thing when a person is authoritative, respected, and another thing when he is not taken seriously. This proves the experiment carried out by scientists.
Several groups of students were asked to listen to an audio recording of a lecture about how young criminals should be treated more humanely.
All groups listened to the same lecture, but the information about the lecturer in each group was different. The first group was told that the speaker was a highly qualified judge and an authority on youth crime. The second group was presented with a neutral version: he is a radio worker. The third group was told that the speaker was a delinquent who was currently on parole.
Understandably, this group got the impression that the lecturer (who is also a criminal) has a personal interest in seeing young criminals treated humanely. The students had to answer how they assess the lecture itself and what their views are on a more humane treatment of young offenders.
The results were as follows: a group of students who believed that the lecture was given by an experienced judge and authority in the field of delinquency among young people, assessed the lecture itself and its conclusions positively. At the same time, the students, who believed that they were facing a criminal who wanted his offense to be treated as humanely as possible, assessed the lecture negatively.
The students, who were introduced to the speaker as a radio worker, took a neutral position. The lecture made all the students look at the punishment of young criminals from different points of view. However, it had the greatest impact on students who rated the lecturer positively, and least on those who considered him a delinquent.
The conducted experiment proves how important the personality of the one who convinces and calls for is. In fact, this knowledge is used by those who ask a respected person to "say a word."
In general, most people believe that in our society, men have a higher status than women. Other things being equal, a large person often inspires more confidence than others.
What should be the nature of speech to convince a person? Certainly persuasive!
In order to make your speech more persuasive, you need to follow some rules of persuasion.
- Do not prove the obvious, do not speak banal or commonplace truths. A person always wants to hear something new, unknown to him. Otherwise, he loses interest both in speech and in the speaker himself.
- Do not be afraid to agree with a person if you want to convince him of something. This rule of persuasion will help you turn his own judgments against him or prove their uselessness to him.
- Don't try to explain something you don't fully understand. This is a typical mistake of those who want to convince a person.
- To convince a person, never allow contradictions in your arguments.
- If you manage to find a strong evidence or a strong objection, leave it "for dessert."
- Do not use mediocre and unreliable arguments in your argument. In order to convince a person, try to give strong arguments separately, developing each one in detail; and collect weak arguments into one strong argument.
- In your persuasive strategy, try to reinforce one piece of evidence with another.
- And finally, one more rule that allows you to convince a person that you are right. Don't try to prove more when you can do less. Don't make things difficult for yourself. This requires additional effort and time, and most importantly, it increases the likelihood of failure.
- If you want to convince or convince a person, start not with the moments that separate you, but with what you agree with him.
- Be a good listener and show empathy. You cannot convince a person of anything without understanding the course of his thoughts. Moreover, an attentive listener disposes to himself.
- To convince a person, show that what you offer satisfies any of his needs: physiological (need for food, water, sleep, etc.); the need for security, confidence in the future; the need to belong to any community (family, company of friends, work team, etc.); the need for respect and the need for self-realization.
To some extent, a person needs to satisfy all the needs. The strongest argument is the ability to satisfy any human need.
And yet, a very important rule of persuasion is appropriate silence.
One of the most famous orators of antiquity, Cicero, said: “Silence is not only an art, but also eloquence”
Silence can be an answer no less eloquent than words. A short silence or pause helps to draw the person's attention to your subsequent words and arguments.
Each of us has our own point of view on many facts of life. And sometimes it is necessary to convey this point of view to others. But if time after time something prevents you from doing this? Can effective persuasion techniques be learned?
Beliefs and arguments are part of the communication of each of us. We face this repeatedly every day: in communication with relatives, when raising children, at work, with friends and acquaintances, and sometimes even strangers. Someone is trying to convince us, we are trying to convince someone ... Sometimes we defend our own point of view, and sometimes we try to motivate people to do as we suggest. Both defending one's own opinion and actively promoting it are all parts of a single process of persuasion.
Unfortunately, we often encounter unscrupulous methods of persuasion, manipulation, and we need to have sufficient skills not to succumb to them, having defended our own opinion. Also, a common problem is the inability to express one's point of view, to convince others of it for the benefit of a common cause. For example, you have an artistic taste and could try to convince your family that your interior design is better, but either you don’t do it or your arguments are not heard. Or, for example, when preparing a project at work, you could well make a few suggestions that rationalize the process, but ... alas! The idea that you never uttered was later voiced by your colleague, and the position of project manager and salary increase again did not go to you.
There are people whose gift of persuasion surprises those around them. They often do not even need to enter into an argument, because their argument is so harmonious that they agree with it without objection. Others fail time after time. So what's the reason?
Overconfidence Mistakes
Albina is a bright and active woman, but she admits that it is difficult for her to convince others of something. For her work colleagues and friends, the moments when Albina tries to convince them of something, from choosing a cafe to financial decisions, become a test. Albina literally swoops down on them, the arguments pour in so quickly that the interlocutors do not have time to hear them. Albina speaks in a peremptory tone, as if everything has already been decided. And often she hears agreement with her arguments ... which, however, remains only words.
Have you ever thought about the fact that it can be difficult for overly self-confident people to reach mutual understanding with others, including convincing them of something? Often, the interlocutors outwardly agree with the arguments given, if only to stop their flow, but the result shows that the arguments did not give a real effect.
In a situation of dependence ("boss - subordinate", "tyrant husband - subordinate wife"), this may not be decisive, because everything will be done. But this has nothing to do with persuasion, since in fact it is an order. The situation of persuasion occurs when the interlocutors are on the “same level”, or the persuading person is lower (in status, age, position). And in this situation, excessive self-confidence is a hindrance to communication.
Self-confident people are often aggressive in communication and allow so-called conflictogens - words, actions that not only interfere with persuasion, but also provoke a conflict where it could not be. However, the use of conflictogens (consciously or unconsciously) is a frequent hindrance for many people, and not just for self-confident individuals.
Anyone who is trying to convince others that he is right or wants his idea to be implemented should avoid the following mistakes...
Direct manifestations of superiority: orders, threats, ironic remarks, direct ridicule, mockery, sarcasm.
Condescending attitude: “Well, how can you not know this?”, “They tell you in Russian”, “It seems like a smart person, but you behave ...”, etc.
Bragging: "I had a similar problem and I coped with it perfectly", "I have a sharp mind, everyone talks about it." Such phrases cause a desire to put the braggart in his place, and not at all agree with the arguments that he cites.
Interruption of the interlocutor. You should not show that your thoughts are somehow “more valuable” than those of the interlocutor, as this destroys contact.
Hiding important information. If, in an effort to convince, you withhold some of the information, be prepared for the fact that the person, having learned about this, will no longer trust your opinion in the future, expecting a dirty trick.
manifestations of selfishness. If in the course of persuasion it becomes clear that a person wants to achieve something only for his own benefit or convenience, his argument ceases to “work”. Such a position becomes obvious to others and leads to the alienation of a person.
So, if you want to convince others of something, leave the overconfidence and aggressive style of proving your case. If you don’t do this, you can only complain again that “they spoke the matter”, and again “no one heard you”.
Mistakes of uncertainty
Alena considers herself an insecure person. She is invisible in the company of friends and in the team. Relatives do not listen to her opinion. She almost never expresses her point of view, preferring tacit consent. Some acquaintances consider her a person without any opinion at all. This allows others to manipulate Alena: she does part of the work for her colleagues, “drags” the whole house on herself, believing that her needs are less important than the needs of her husband and children. But more and more often, Alena feels an inner protest and feels a desire to show that she also has her own opinion ...
When you need to be able to convince
In what situations can we use the ability to persuade?
- When we need to express our point of view and prove that we have a right to it. Perhaps we don't need someone to do what we want. Sometimes we need others to recognize our right to have exactly the opinion that we have. This is especially important in personal relationships: between adult children and parents, between spouses, etc. In this case, the partners do not solve a joint problem, but simply get acquainted with each other's attitudes, which may affect the further building of relationships. In this case, the goal of persuasion is the partner's acceptance of us as we are.
- When partners have a common goal that needs to be realized. This is the most common situation when you need to be able to express your opinion and convince others of it. Implementation of a project at work, renovation of a house, joint vacation - all this and much more requires us to be able to convince and negotiate.
- When an argument is nothing more than entertainment. For example, a dispute about the situation in the economic market or about new fashion trends between acquaintances is entertainment that trains the ability to argue and prove one's point of view. Such disputes about tastes, opinions and preferences are almost fruitless, as the participants in the discussion remain unconvinced. But this situation is remarkable in that people who are not very good at arguing and proving their case can practice this in a situation that is safe for themselves. And then - to apply new experience when it is necessary and important.
People who are considered insecure by others often tend to keep their opinions to themselves. They cannot defend their interests, as they are afraid of losing the favor of others. Insecure people often act according to one of several schemes, each of which is quite ineffective.
- "I can't even say a word." In this case, a person has his own opinion, but keeps it to himself. He does not even try to express it, because he is afraid that he will be ridiculed or he will not be able to defend him. And then one of the options is implemented. Outwardly agreeing with other people's arguments, a person fulfills what he promised, but at the same time, internal tension (protest) arises, which sooner or later can lead to an "explosion" in the relationship. Either a person does not do what he promised, and deliberately or “accidentally” fails the case, earning himself the image of a person who cannot be relied upon.
- "I work through others." Insecure people sometimes choose a "transmitter", i.e. another person to whom they can express their opinion and ask for help to "promote" the idea, but on their own behalf. For example, this is how a “quiet” woman, who does not directly say anything to her daughter-in-law, chooses her son as a “transmitter”, who is forced to convey thoughts to her mother, passing them off as her own opinion, which can ruin the relationship. When transmitting your thoughts through another person, you need to be aware that a lot of “noise” arises in such a transfer of information, i.e. information that you didn't mean at all. When it comes to work, such a position will prevent a person from building his own career, and his best ideas (of which he has a lot!) Will be picked up by more courageous colleagues. If, however, during the transmission, unnecessary “noise” information arises or the idea turns out to be unsuccessful, the “transmitter” will relieve itself of responsibility, referring to the original source, i.e. you. Thus, in case of success, all the laurels do not go to you, but in case of failure, all the stones are yours.
- “I speak, but they don’t listen to me.” Slightly more self-confident people tend to express their opinion, but often do it - uncertainly and as if apologizing to others. They strive to convey their ideas to others, give the right arguments, but often they go unnoticed behind the more confident, albeit less weighty arguments of others.
What to do? First of all, develop inner confidence, and the ability to speak about your point of view and be able to prove it will come. Perhaps it is impossible to remain an insecure person, but at the same time be able to perfectly convince others. But the path to self-confidence can start with a few episodes in which you were the “winner”, including those who managed to defend your point of view, albeit in a small argument. The path to confidence is a self-reinforcing system: the more reasons to be proud of yourself, the more self-confidence. And so try to use the techniques of persuading others, win the discussion and become more confident!
persuasion techniques
So, you want to learn how to convince others of your opinion. However, it is worth remembering that this will not always be possible, as you know, "of all the truths, the most important is one's own." Most often, you will have to take into account the interests of a partner and adapt to him, seek compromises in controversial situations. But there are techniques that will help you increase the effectiveness of your persuasion and, as a result, feel satisfied that your opinion was listened to.
- First of all, have a clear goal. Right now, right in this conversation, in this meeting, you want to achieve something. If time permits, formulate in advance what exactly you need to say. The wording should be clear and short, for example: “I want to be granted an extraordinary leave”; “I want us to buy this particular wardrobe”; “I want a doctor to give a referral to a certain clinic.” If the main condition is not met and the internal goal is not formed, you will not be able to find either sufficient arguments or look convincing.
- Consider the type of interlocutor. Some people respond more to rational, while others to emotional methods of persuasion. For example, people of the thinking type remain calm even in difficult situations, like order, clarity and functionality. In controversy, they are guided by logical considerations, they try to weigh all the pros and cons. When talking to such a person, you need to use objective information, keep a low-key style of communication and maintain a distance of respect. Feeling types, on the other hand, are more receptive to emotional reasoning (“You will feel more at ease if you do this…”; “This option will make you nervous”). For such people, logical justifications are less valuable, since for them the sphere of feelings, their own and those around them, is more important. Remember that an argument that is 100% for you may be pretty weak for the other person. For example, you might say to the doctor, "I'll be upset if you can't give me the right direction." By saying this, you are assuming that your disorder is as important a factor to the outsider as it is to you, but that is hardly the case. And the “farther” the person is from you, the less arguments based on your feelings work.
- Consider the strength of the arguments. Try to put yourself in the place of the interlocutor and think about which arguments will be strong for him, and use them. The following order of arguments is most convincing: strong - medium - one strongest. It has been proven that what is best remembered is what happened at the very beginning and at the very end. What was in the middle, a person remembers the worst. Therefore, the beginning, and especially the ending, should be “strong”, but in the middle it is worth using “medium” caliber argumentation. Weak arguments should generally be avoided.
- Maintain respect for the interlocutor. We have already said that conflictogens should be avoided, interrupting effective communication and forcing the interlocutor to defend himself. Throughout the conversation, try to maintain respect for your partner, their interests and opinions, even if they differ from yours. In this case, the interlocutor will not need to defend himself, and the process of persuasion can be more fruitful.
- Maintain respect for yourself, do not belittle your status. Don't apologize for having a certain position. You should use the word "sorry" as little as possible (unless there is a good reason for it), as this makes your position subordinate and insecure. And insecurity is associated with low personal and professional status.
- Start with what unites you. If your positions differ from the other person, start persuasion with what unites you, and not with what is the subject of disagreement. For example, if you can’t agree on where to go on vacation, you can start this conversation by saying, for example, “It’s good that we have a vacation at the same time”, “It’s good, that we love to relax together, remember how great it was last time!”. It is much easier to come to an agreement with a person, thinking that you have a lot in common with him, than when conflict issues are put forward in the first place.
- Learn to listen and hear! Often there are situations when the interlocutors mean completely different things, and argue without understanding each other. And in this case it is difficult to convince and come to a single decision. Be a good listener: listen to the interlocutor to the end, clarify his position by formulating it out loud again. There are easy ways to check if you understood correctly what you were told: "In other words, you think that ...", "What you said may mean ...". Feel free to ask again: "What exactly do you mean?", "Please specify ...".
- Let the interlocutor believe that this idea belongs to him. People are much more careful about their own thoughts and judgments than those of others. Use it. For example: "Remember, we talked about... You then said that... This thought seemed very reasonable to me!". Or a less direct version: "Your reasoning led me to believe that...". Let the interlocutor feel that your proposals, if not completely his idea, then half - for sure!
- Show that your option is beneficial to the interlocutor. Remember that all people need to meet five basic needs (according to A. Maslow):
- physiological (food, water, sleep, housing, health, etc.);
- in safety, confidence in the future;
- in belonging to any community (family, company of friends, team, etc.);
- in respect, recognition;
- in self-realization, realization of their abilities and spiritual needs.
If you can show that your idea will help fulfill one or more needs of the interlocutor, the success of your persuasion is almost guaranteed.
So, we have considered the basic techniques of persuasion. Of course, in order to learn how to convince others, first of all you need to... learn this. Just by reading this article, you won't become an expert in the art of persuading others. Practicing these techniques and then analyzing your successes and failures will give you the experience you need to become a master persuader in the future.
Alexandra Moskalenko, psychologist, Moscow
The ability to convince people - how to learn to convince and develop the ability to persuade
It is not for nothing that they say that the future today is not for those who have knowledge, but for those who have Energy, who are able to convince and lead. But this art can be easily learned - modern psychologists have already revealed all possible secrets. It remains only to use them and change your life and the lives of others for the better:
“A small group of smart, dedicated people can change the world.” Margaret Mead.
7 secrets to learn how to convince people
So, dedicated to all leaders - 7 secrets on how to learn how to convince people and become a master in this matter.
Secret number 1. Not tips, but secrets
Nobody likes to be taught by someone - that's a fact. Especially when without this permission to: “People do not accept anything with such disgust as advice” D. Addison
That is why psychologists advise instead of the role of a “teacher” to play the role of a “friend”, who, in fact, does not advise, but simply prompts, reveals secrets. Unobtrusively, but in the right place and at the right time. And at the same time, it is even desirable to emphasize the significance of the “secret” - supposedly, it was revealed not just like that, but because of the great friendship or merits of a person. This is a powerful method, it is not easy to use, but can be learned.
Secret number 2. Introverts and extroverts
The surest way to learn how to persuade is to get the hang of recognizing who is in front of you: an extrovert or an introvert, and speak already in his “language”.
So, an extrovert will be dressed brightly, fashionably, his gestures are relaxed and sweeping, his facial expressions are lively, his voice is not quiet, but his emotions are over the edge. An introvert, on the other hand, prefers calm tones in clothes, selects each accessory only with taste, can come to a business meeting in a cozy shapeless sweater and favorite jeans. But he is always collected, attentive and has a rich inner world. The difference between these two types of people is in the sources of vital energy: the first draw it from the outside world, and if they lack impressions and communication, they immediately wither away. On the example of the teaching profession: it is easier to conduct 10 lessons in this way than to write out an outline plan for at least one of them according to the methodological rules. But introverts always live in the inner world, and feed on inner strength, no matter what happens outside - even though the tanks are moving. On the contrary, it is easier for such people to write a dissertation all night than to play with the students in the “Field of Miracles”. Both the emotions and facial expressions of introverts seem to be paler, they seem more callous and pedantic.
So, in order to masterfully convince an extrovert of something, you don’t need to overload him with facts - you only need pressure, emotions, examples. In a word, an extrovert needs to be "charged" emotionally, and he will agree to everything. But a pure introvert needs arguments, arguments and arguments again.
Secret number 3. Peace, only peace!
Experimental psychology loves to conduct various artificially created situations and observe the behavior of people in them. And one of her most carefully proven statements is that in an argument, the majority of listeners will always side with the one who is calm. And therefore, if during persuasion you have to shout over your opponent, you should not do this. It is better to either end the argument or continue it in a quiet, normal voice. This ability to convince and influence the audience is often used by teachers in their work - when the whole class is noisy, the teacher deliberately starts to speak quieter, and then the noise level decreases significantly, and the words of the mentor are listened to.
Secret number 4. The illusion of choice
There is also such a very cunning way of being able to convince people - to give them the illusion of choice. This is something like a child trying to beg a treat from his mother: “Mom, will you buy me a kinder surprise or chips today” ?, and not “Buy it, please!”. Only in adult life will things look a little more complicated: “Do you prefer planes or trains? Our headquarters can be reached by both. What is more convenient for you? - and this is before the person even gave his consent. But he feels that he allegedly has some kind of freedom of choice - he still chooses something. Have you ever wondered why at all business meetings the secretaries ask the guest: "Would you like coffee or tea?" It's not just business etiquette - after this simple choice to say "No!" it will not be easy for a person - a fact proven by scientists.
Therefore, if you want to convince a “difficult” person, give him the illusion of choice.
Secret number 5. halo of exclusivity
Even Dale Carnegie noticed that people simply love to be singled out as exceptional: as the best specialists in their field, as the most charismatic and charming, for example. True, in America, where this talented psychologist comes from, such an appeal as “Is this the coolest lawyer in New York?” such persuasive words are considered quite common, but in Russia they will immediately pass for vulgar flattery. Therefore, it is necessary to apply this method in practice more sophisticatedly, veiled:
"How? Are you refusing us? But we hoped so - you are Peter's best lawyer! Where can we go after you?"
Secret number 6. Games People Play
Another brilliant psychologist, Eric Berne, created his theory of the ability to convince, which explains why some cannot be convinced even of the naked truth, while others step on the rake again and again, believing in the same nonsense. This is called a “game” when a certain “bait” is offered to the “victim” (and each time the same one, which is generally amazing), and then you can do whatever you want with it. This is a cruel method of persuasion, but in some cases it is necessary.
So, its essence is to determine: what kind of bait is needed. In this case, you need to go from the opposite: does a person have complexes and what does he need? And give it to him, behind the scenes in return demanding a "payment". Everything sounds complicated in theory, but quite primitive in practice. It is enough to apply the so-called “stroking” - to make a pleasant compliment, to help with something, or to ask pitifully. Pity is generally a weak point of kind-hearted Russian women.
Secret number 7. Emphasis on secondary benefit
And you can also borrow one great method of persuasion from advertisers - an emphasis on secondary benefits. Those. not a vacuum cleaner is sold, but cleanliness in the house, not a kettle, but delicious tea, not tea, but warm communication with friends, etc. But this, if we touch on the topic of sales. And so the method of secondary benefits is very effective in any situation where you need to convince someone of something. But it is worth remembering that for different people the same “secondary benefit” can be very different - a subtle psychological approach is already needed here. For example, persuading a feminist girl to get married does not mean pushing for “primary gain” by saying, “Get married! It’s so cool!”, and look for its secondary benefit: “How? And you refuse to wear a stunning dress of your own design, embroidered with Swarovski stones? And you never upload awesome photos on your page? And your classmates won't die of envy?!" This is a joke, of course, but with a grain of salt. After all, selling a house without dust is much easier than just a vacuum cleaner. And it is much easier to convince a person of something if you look into the future.
The art of persuasion is worth learning. After all, it’s not without reason that they say: "You own the whole world if you know how to choose words"
Surely, you have noticed more than once that some people from your environment have an amazing gift of persuasion. However, this gift can be developed - learn about ways to learn how to convince people and even more so, how to convince a person in an article.
From the side it sometimes seems that a person who knows how convince a person can get anyone to do what they want with little to no effort. Such an ability is not a gift, but the ability to correctly express one's thoughts, which everyone can learn. Of course, if we are not talking about politics or football, for example, the Anji team, then you are unlikely to be able to convince, but you can handle other situations quite well.
Five ways to help you find out how to convince a person:
1. Put yourself in your opponent's shoes
To begin with, learn to put yourself in the place of your opponent and guess his interests and preferences as accurately as possible. After a few minutes of communication, even with a stranger, you can understand some of his life values. Agree, you can immediately see people for whom the main place in life is occupied by family, children, education, career growth. During a conversation, it is necessary to use such moments, even to a minimal extent. For example, experienced sales consultants very often use such psychological techniques. To a business person, they offer a more expensive product with many additional functions, arguing that this product will save them time and make it easier to perform many tasks.
2. Combine topics of conversation
During a conversation with an opponent, it is very important to combine two topics - the one that interests you and the one that excites the interlocutor. This method helps to get closer to a person, and in your situation it can become a kind of psychological programming method.
3. Involve Others
When presenting your thoughts, try to involve a third person in the topic. For example, if you are selling a product, then you should not talk about its benefits that you have learned from your own experience. It is much better to come up with one of your friends or relatives who told you about the merits of the product. Otherwise, a person may decide that you are simply imposing this or that product on him.
4. Periodically change the topic to the public interest
Let's note one more important point. In progress interlocutor's beliefs try to periodically translate the topic into the public interest. Mention more often that you express an opinion that is shared by thousands of people in the world, talk about the popularity of your activity or the merits of the product offered.
5. Control your opponent's train of thought
You must in all possible ways win over the interlocutor to yourself, learn to speak the same language with him and control the course of his thoughts. Never end a conversation in a cardinal form of farewell - aim your opponent at a long communication or cooperation, exchange phone numbers, email addresses.
