I dated a married man for three years. How to date a married man - Psychologist's advice Never date married men

If earlier it was considered a shameful vice for a woman to date a "married man", now it is a somewhat depressing ubiquity. The psychology of relations with a married man is no longer surprising to anyone. Although, it would seem, it is natural that this is wrong and bad. What to do and how to act in a situation when, as in the song "I love a married man"?

Psychology - Aspect of "Why"

So why are women now and then drawn to the seemingly forbidden? They are not blind, not stupid, and often quite aware of what they are doing. As well as the consequences. But all the same, as if headlong into a pool, they rush into dangerous, dubious relationships.

You can start with the fact that, of course, how many people - so many different opinions. Each woman had her own reason to start such a relationship, and each of them answered the question - Is it worth it? - differently. And yet, there are a number of specific reasons:

• Everything is ready. A married man, as a rule, is already an accomplished person. As in the family, so in society and career.

• Freedom. He does not need to wait home in the evening, cook food for him, wash clothes, or somehow account for his actions. All this is already done by another woman. The mistress has much more free time that she can spend on herself.

• Celebration atmosphere. If the wife sees a man in all his remarkable and not very beauty, then the woman on the side is only familiar with his positive qualities.

• Money. Comments here will be redundant.

• Reluctance to marry. Sometimes there is a situation when you want love, but getting married is quite the opposite. Then the point about freedom and easy relations results in this one. A married man will not require any special obligations from his mistress.

• Low self-esteem. Thoughts that there are catastrophically few good men around and the fear of loneliness sometimes push women and not for that. Therefore, they are content with "what is."

• Hope. Love is evil ... or, as the proverb says: in the absence of fish and cancer - a fish. Especially if this "cancer" every now and then promises to leave the family for her, beloved and unique. And the woman believes these words. And this belief in her exclusivity, that everything will be different for her, like for everyone else, makes her stay in such a relationship. But life is not a movie with a lyrical ending or a love book. In reality, such promises often remain empty promises.

Relationship with a married man

What if the woman nevertheless decided to start a relationship with a “married man”? In this regard, the advice of a psychologist is built on the basic principle: you need to be realistic. That is, ready for the fact that such love can take and end abruptly at any moment. And you certainly don’t gossip about such a relationship with your girlfriend.

The main plus and at the same time a minus - no one owes anything to each other. It is not difficult to sleep with a married man whom you love, but it will not be easy for a woman to start dating him and, moreover, to keep him close to her and make some plans. In no case should meetings be advertised, otherwise it will immediately undermine trust. It’s also not worth putting pressure on a man with your connection - he understands perfectly well that he has no obligations to you. He already has a family with a wife and children. If he needs a relationship on the side, he can always find himself another, less demanding, passion. Therefore, if the goal is to win the heart of this particular man, you will have to work hard, measuredly and carefully, making him fall in love with you and everything that will be associated with her.

But still, it is far from a fact that a man will leave his family for the sake of his mistress. The fact is that a man cannot just take and go to where he will feel better. Most likely, if the marriage breaks up, it is not because of the beloved lady on the side, but because of the great discord in their own family. Only if the legal relationship did not show itself on the good side or burned out, turning out to be a mistake - that's when the man will divorce and go to his mistress, who is ardently waiting for him. Otherwise, no forces of great love will force him to leave his native nest called "family."

Exit from the cage

Sooner or later, the realization comes that a man is still not going to leave the house with children and a married woman, but he no longer wants to put up with this. How to end such a relationship?

The advice of psychologists is quite simple: you need to mentally prepare yourself before breaking off contact with a married man. Write down on paper all his shortcomings and look at this sheet more often. Think about the question, is it really necessary at all? Most likely, the mistress of a married man has no prospects in terms of his own family well-being. And sooner or later, every woman will want to have her own children and a normal family. Then karma will definitely not be on the side of this woman ...

How to end a relationship?

Secret meetings and constant secrecy can also adversely affect the general background of life. Especially with a man who is younger than his second chosen one. You need to resolutely declare this intention to your married partner, calmly and rationally convey your point of view to him. This relationship does not have the future you want. You will have to come to terms with the breakup and be sure to ask you never to disturb again. This is difficult, but otherwise, instead of a dot, a blurry comma will appear in the relationship. Especially if a man tries to dissuade his mistress from such a "hasty decision." It can be a parting gift in the form of a last date or something else in a similar spirit. But in fact, this is just a trick in order not to end the relationship.

Interesting videos

Having decided to start a relationship with a married man, women receive a huge amount of advice from girlfriends, colleagues - let's leave them aside. Let's look at how to build, which are worth listening to.

Psychologists recommend that women really look at what is happening, they need to live in the real world, and not in fantasies. You need to understand that a married man cannot be trusted 100%. You always need to beware and prepare for the end of a relationship, no matter how strong you are. Love. Starting such a long-term relationship, you willfully doom yourself to a secondary role in this performance. You run the risk of always being in second place, because the man you love may never leave his wife. Is it worth it start this one novel? This question is asked by all women who are faced with such a problem. Because they don't know if this relationship has a future.

Do not criticize or even ridicule the spouse of your chosen one. You need to pay more attention specifically to a man, to please and support. In addition, you do not need to show that you are better than his wife. Telling someone about a relationship with a married man is also not worth it. Of course, you should not change the chosen one either. Do not build whims, rejoice even with the smallest gift from this person, the main thing is attention. No need to put pressure, and demand from him to quickly divorce his wife. No need to put him in an awkward position and force him to choose, it will not end in anything good for you.

When the time comes, he himself will decide with whom to stay, he will inform you about it. Demanding something, the situation will seriously worsen, you need to become more patient, because you knew what you were doing. Another piece of advice is don't push yourself. It takes a man a certain amount of time to understand you. However, as soon as your relationship begins, let your loved one know about the seriousness of your intentions. Having said this once would be ideal and sufficient.

How to understand if a married man loves you?

If he has serious plans for you, then he will take the initiative, you just have to watch. By the way, there may be an option when a man has serious problems with his wife and they are already going to file for divorce. In this case, psychologists advise a woman to create an atmosphere of home comfort and tranquility. Create, so to speak, a piece of paradise, full of love and understanding, where your loved one can spend time away from family experiences. A woman needs to show feelings towards a man more often, to surround him with everything necessary. Communication also plays a big role, it should bring pleasure to a man. Only in this way will he understand that he needs you. If you are a lover, most likely his man has serious problems in his intimate life, you need to provide him with unique sex.

In cases where a woman is counting on a long-term relationship in the future, you need to be able to build them. It is not particularly difficult to start a relationship with a married person - it is much more difficult to maintain them. Because for most males, your sexual relationship can be one of many on the side. After all, he doesn’t owe you anything, he can easily admit that he is married, and it’s easy to leave without a trace. He can also easily start one or two more novels, which none of the women of this womanizer will know about. A woman should not talk about her relationship with a married man, especially if she is going to be with him in the future. This is an opportunity to earn respect from a loved one, which will benefit the relationship.

The result of such hobbies cannot be known in advance. A woman can have a whole group of admirers, but she does not need this. She wants to taste the forbidden fruit, in the form of a married man, but it is a mistake to think that this fruit will be sweeter than others. A woman's desire for a stormy romance with a married man, always very high, is much higher than the desire for a relationship with a bachelor.

Such girls expect that if their relationship started very brightly, then it will end just as easily and fun - and they are seriously mistaken. With them, affection will begin to play a cruel joke, which will most likely take possession of the creation of a girl, and she will fall in love with a married man.

Time heals, love grows, after such a turn around and leave will not work. At the same time, a process of rivalry between wife and mistress develops.

The man who tells his mistress about love is also mistaken, even if it is true. But, if he is not ready to leave his wife yet, it is better not to feed his mistress with hopes and promises.

How to end a relationship with this man? For this step, you really need to have courage. And also think about your life, rethink it, reflect on your relationship. And finally understand that this novel is doomed to failure.

To make this fact easier to understand, you need to realize a simple thing - the person you love is just using you. His married woman is constantly deceived. But she can still love her husband, and think that they have a strong family. His wife is a real person whom he constantly deceives. If he does not get divorced for a long time, but convinces of the opposite, then he is lying, not only to you and his wife, but also to himself. And even if this miracle happens, and you start creating a family with this person, what is the probability that he will not find a new mistress for himself, and you will find yourself in the place of his wife? According to psychologists, this probability is very high. Why waste years of your life chasing such people? This argument is very simple, but not every woman is ready to accept it. Run away from such relationships, do not add new problems to yourself, because it will be much more difficult to solve them.

If you decide to end the relationship with such a man, you need to take drastic measures. Do not hesitate to tell him in person, about the desire to leave. Some women drag out this process for a long time, do not pick up the phone, do not dare to tell the person in person. If you nevertheless confessed - do not call, do not review the general photos, you do not need to remember what happened. Find yourself a new interesting activity, maybe you should leave the city for a while or leave work. Communicate more with other people, do not get depressed, live life to the fullest and do not stir up the past.

The relationship of a free woman with a married man in psychology is a rather complicated topic. The alliance, which includes a married man and a free woman, is not considered by psychology as a connection between two free, self-sufficient people. In such relationships, third parties are necessarily invisibly present: children, relatives, friends. One of the participants in such an alliance, in this case a woman, plays the role of second violin. Knowing and understanding this is very difficult to accept psychologically, especially given the individual characteristics of the character. Partnerships based on equality are out of the question. A woman always sacrifices herself, her interests, time and personal ambitions.

The psychology of a married man that he has a relationship with a free woman explains this by the fact that he does not receive something in marriage. It can be sex, tenderness, or just friendly, warm communication, which is no longer possible with a wife. This happens in most cases after many years lived together, passions no longer boil, life has settled down and a man wants new experiences. He lacks affection, warm words, his wife stopped admiring and praising him, although she used to do it regularly.

In modern families, especially those created under the yoke of obligations (for example, the birth of a child), an agreement is often made on the non-interference of spouses in the privacy of each. In this case, the intrigues of the spouse are not perceived by the wife as a betrayal, and the man does not feel guilty. It will be easier for a woman to meet with such a person.

However, in traditional families, the spouse will not just give up her missus. Yes, and a man for the sake of his mistress will not destroy the family and, to which he has certain obligations. It should be understood that such relationships rarely end in divorce and a new marriage. For the stronger sex, this is just an affair that gives an outlet and an emotional shake-up. In fact, most prefer stability, homeliness and warmth.

How does psychology explain the union of a free woman with a married man?

From the side of a woman, the psychology of relations with a married man considers such a union from two points of view:

• practical union. A man is considered by a woman as a source of cash injections and she is quite satisfied with free relationships and occasional meetings. He is successful, well-groomed, he is only interested in the sexual side of the relationship, and he does not ask for anything in return. Self-confident women who do not aspire to marriage are usually completely satisfied with this state of affairs. In addition, such an alliance allows you to correct the shaken material condition;
• romantic union. This type of relationship is built on delusions. A woman is confident in her exclusivity and firmly believes that a man will leave his wife in the near future. She sincerely believes that with her this man will finally find what he lacks in marriage, that she will be the best wife and is ready to wait forever for her beloved. Usually in this position are insecure women who believe that there are not enough good men for everyone, and they are ready to be in the background indefinitely, just to stay with their beloved.

In any case, a woman understands that she is not the main thing in a man's life, just in the first case she does not need this.

Psychologists warn that such relationships cannot be strong. A married man can at any time break off relations without any explanation to return to his wife. Indeed, in alliance with a free woman, a married man cannot have any obligations to her. However, it happens that a man is really unhappy in marriage and divorce is the best way out of the situation for him. If he is in no hurry to make a final decision, he should not be rushed into this. Relations with a married man - for a free girl:

• You need to try to get closer to your loved one as closely as possible. Men are reluctant to share their secrets with their mistress, but if you make him trust and open up, success is almost completely guaranteed;
• never put pressure on him. A man usually looks for an outlet on the side precisely because his wife puts pressure on him. It is necessary to be able to listen to a loved one, provide support, become for him not only a mistress. But also a friend;
• do not pull the blanket over yourself, the final decision of various issues must be left to him. This will give a sense of ease in such a union, and this is exactly what a man needs;
• do not ring on every corner about the incident of the novel. A man must decide for himself to make the relationship public, in which case he should come out of the shadows and be able to stand up for himself.

By building meetings with a married man on the advice of a psychologist, a prudent woman has a good chance of winning him back from his wife.

The psychology of the correct behavior of a free woman with a married man

Even with small chances to take a man away from the family, with the right behavior of a woman, they increase many times over. She must understand that a connection with her is not a desire to radically change something in life, but simply a way to relax, unwind and give vent to emotions. Therefore, a man’s decision to leave his wife must be pushed very carefully so as not to frighten him if he suddenly decides that he is being pressured.

1. If a man himself did not leave the family, then he does not intend to destroy the marriage. You need to find the strength in yourself to break off such relationships, because they will inevitably come to a standstill.
2. Love is often mistaken for love. For some time it is better not to see each other, so that there is an opportunity to cool down a bit and sort out your feelings.
3. You need to understand that taking a loved one away from his wife destroys the family, children suffer. Most of the representatives of the stronger sex are going through this hard, the consciousness of their guilt is crushing. And a dull irritation, and even hatred, begins to wake up to the new wife. You need to be ready for such a development of events.

Looking at the situation in this vein, many find the strength to leave their husband to his wife and not destroy their marriage.

Many ladies are afraid to enter into a love relationship with men who are married. This is quite reasonable, however, often such love can be useful and successful for both parties.

As for the men themselves, such relationships can be beneficial for them, because they need variety and adventure. Not everyone manages to remain faithful to his wife, but if a period of detachment begins in his personal life, then a man can look for thrills on the side. A married man is always more interesting than a free man, because he is often hungry, hot, generous and insatiable. With whom the man will remain and why is the second question.

Why do women seek marriage

A married man is a challenge. It is clear that in such a relationship you have an advantage over your rival, because she has already managed to get bored with a man. Basically, women show their nature of a predator when they feel the victim. That is why your intuition will never deceive you. If you do not trust her, then know that a married man is always secretive, cautious and wants to see you only at a certain time.

Very often, ladies choose married men because they know that they will not run after them. Roughly speaking, if a man is married, then he is already “run in”, checked by another lady, he can be trusted. The last thing women want to do is spend time with men who can make them suffer. Married in this regard is absolutely harmless, but beware of exceptions to the rules, which also occur.

Hello dear readers of the magazine site.

The question of the consequences of having a relationship with a married man comes up so often. Let's take a look at the issues that concern women. Why are such connections dangerous? Consequences of delusions on the male account for the woman? How to break this unpromising relationship? Tips on how to survive a breakup if you love a married man?

Relationships between men and women have been and always will be complex. But even more of them are added when a girl starts dating a married man. The consequences of a relationship with a married man will surely bring only problems and grief. Do not flatter yourself about them, they only need new sensations. And pink dreams and greed for flattery, in the end, lead a woman to despair and loss.

Any psychologist will tell you that relationships with married people have no future. A man by nature is not permanent. New emotions of impression are important to him, and if a woman can gradually come to terms with the routine, devoting herself to children, then a man will not burden himself. He will go to look for new impressions on the side, and what the consequences will be, he will think about it later.

The problem of a woman in quick attachment to a partner. Not everyone can fall in love at first sight. A woman loves with her ears, which is what notorious womanizers use. Single ladies fall into the category of particular risk. Those who have their own business or are simply so insecure that the manifestation of attention is already becoming an event in life. Such women want to find an outlet, and sometimes they find out about the marriage union of their chosen ones when they have already fallen in love.

Upon learning that a loved one is busy, smart and strong natures will immediately break off relations. But not everyone is like that, most believe in fairy tales told by married people regularly. As advice, it is better to immediately run away from such a man.

There is no guarantee that you are the first or the last. He can easily meet with others in parallel. But there is still a wife who also suffers from the adventures of her husband. Put yourself in her place, then you will understand the illusory nature of all his promises, he also swore eternal love to her when he got married, right?

Why does a man take a mistress

What guides a married husband when he starts looking for a mistress? Here is how the men themselves answer this question:

• Looking for another partner is a natural instinct, you can't run away from it. That is why any of the friends will always cover for the unfaithful spouse if his wife starts asking questions.
• The search for new sensations is an opportunity to know the forbidden, and best friends can incite this, putting pressure on the most precious thing, the pride of a man. Like: "You're a man, but it's weak to have an affair on the side?" And the like.
• Tired of housework. The wife is always tired, with a sore head, too busy.
• Family problems and scandals. Daily sawing and pressure from the wife do not help strengthen the marriage.
• Just because they can afford it. Sometimes prosperity makes men think that everything is allowed to them, and the wife will endure everything.

This is only a small part of the excuses that men themselves convince themselves. In fact, the main reason lies in the male attitude to life in general. They are sick of looking for complicated ways to solve family problems, it is much easier to run away from them. And then, when they get tired of wandering, they return to the family, asking for forgiveness, someone sincerely, someone, afraid to end up alone.

A woman should be aware that a man is a big child who does not want to have only one toy. At first, he is interested, but how he plays enough, he wants another. And the fact that there are many more women than men plays into their hands. Do not flatter yourself about them, love yourself first of all, then you will force yourself to be respected.

Likes or dislikes, where is the truth

A woman wants to be loved. And a married man, knowing this, after all, already has experience, seduces with promises and assurances of eternal passion and love. And sometimes it is difficult to understand what is true and what is false.

Psychologists say that a man goes through several stages of love:

1. Attraction, passion, desire. He feels these emotions for any girl who attracts his attention. This feeling, which men put on a par with love, lasts for a year at most two.
2. Attachment - they begin to experience this only with very close people, with those who are told the most secret secrets, they ask for advice. This does not happen often, and happens mainly with wives. It is with them that a man spends more time, a mistress is only a temporary refuge.
3. Habit, responsibility, care - such feelings awaken in a man after 5-7 years, it all depends on the individual. Of course, children make a significant contribution to the development of attachment. It is difficult to break such a relationship, especially a fleeting hobby.

If a man really loves a woman, he will not cheat. He will make the right decision and quickly, there is no need to push, the initiative will come from his side.

Of course, feelings can fade over time, and new ones appear for another person. Therefore, if you feel that you are falling in love with a married man, then it is better to talk to him directly right away. True love will not be built on tricks and lies, to you or your wife. The truth is cruel and painful, but better than wasting precious time in a relationship with the wrong person.

What problems arise in connection with a married man

Relations with an unfree man will give little joy. After all, being a lover means being constantly alone, and only furtively experiencing happiness. Only here is a logical question, is such happiness worth the loss of the best years of life?

Family for a man will always come first. And all the fairy tales told to you in private are just a distraction. To make you feel sorry for him. Therefore, men try to play on the biggest weakness of a woman, the maternal instinct. When a person dear to your heart feels bad, you instinctively try to get closer to him, thereby driving yourself further into the abyss of sadness and suffering that will come after his departure.

Tip: Give your love only to worthy men who will appreciate you.

Sooner or later, a woman begins to think about her own family, children. A married man will not give you such a guarantee. You should not reassure yourself that you are an exception and your lover will definitely fulfill his promises. According to statistics, only 2 percent of men leave families, but even in this case, there is no guarantee that he will not return as soon as he gets tired of you.

An established marital relationship is a comfort zone from which no man wants to get out. At home, a delicious dinner is always waiting for him, a clean house, loving children, a forgiving wife, whom her husband has known for many years. Well, what kind of a man would drop all this and go to an unfamiliar woman, not knowing what kind of life awaits him there.

The problem of women is that there is no solidarity between them, unlike men. Not a single mistress will put herself in the place of her wife in order to understand how she feels deceived. But after all, the husband deceives not only his wife, but also his mistress, showering her with promises that he is not going to fulfill. And at the first sign or talk about a joint future, he will simply leave and find another.

Another important problem that can arise in a married relationship is a child. For a woman, this is happiness, but a married man will immediately see this as a huge problem. And it will do this:

• Will leave her mistress to solve this problem on her own;
• He will send him for an abortion because he does not need obligations, so he has his own family.
• At best, he will support the child, occasionally seeing him.
• Well, quite a rarity, he will take responsibility for telling everything to his wife. It is impossible to predict the consequences of such a decision, but one thing is clear, someone will suffer.

Can a relationship with a married man bring pleasure

Married people do not need problems, but they want new sensations that they are deprived of in the family. They are careful and will not call at the wrong time, it is easy to meet with them on the sly, there is no need to constantly give expensive gifts, because the husband may start asking uncomfortable questions. But there are still diseases that can be contracted by having promiscuous relationships.

Therefore, if a married man wants to start a relationship on the side, it is most convenient to look for a married woman. Smart people do just that. But not all are married, beautiful and young. Therefore, a man faces a dilemma: security or pleasure, which he values ​​​​higher.

Feminists are extremely scrupulous in matters of their own freedom. They value it more than family happiness. And the maternal instinct may wake up too late, if never at all. The destiny of such women is loneliness, surrounded only by pets.

Attention: How to build your life is up to you, but you should not believe that your own happiness, built on the grief of another person, can bring joy.

Women associate fate with married men for various reasons:

• Naively, this is especially true of inexperienced young girls who believe that princes exist.
• Fear of serious relationships and responsibility. This is inherent in notorious ladies whose childhood was problematic. So it is worth contacting a psychologist.
• Complexes associated with many things: appearance, manner of speech, fear of men. In such cases, it is also worth consulting with a specialist and taking courses to improve self-esteem.
• This is the easiest way to achieve success and prosperity at the expense of wealthy men.

Whatever your desire to date a married person is, stop for a moment and think about your future. What will it be like in two, three, five years? What guarantee can he give you?

The youth of a woman is not eternal, it flows through her fingers, and men always look at beauty, and only then they only try to look into the soul. Don't waste your time and energy on the unworthy. Not free guys are only able to promise, speak their teeth, put pressure on pity. Appreciate yourself, do not be content with the crumbs that a married man gives you.

How to cut ties with a married man

Breaking up with a married man is difficult. And the point is not only that it will be bad for you, your heart will begin to yearn and mental suffering will become unbearable. The main problem is in the man himself, because if you break with him, then you hurt his pride and male pride. And this is worse than all your experiences.

Because social problems can also be added to them. A man will start insulting you in front of all the acquaintances he knows, trouble at work will begin. Even if the wife finds out, he will present the story in such a way that it was you who treacherously seduced his unfortunate man.

No man will ever admit his mistakes, trying to blame others for them. And the mistress, like no other, fits the role of an evil witch. If you decide to leave, get ready for the fact that he will not let you go just like that. He will start calling and again promising mountains of gold. Therefore, change your phone number, ideally, of course, work and city. Thus, you will minimize even casual meetings.

Most after a while will simply fall behind and find a new object. And you can start all over again and maybe meet your true love.

How to restore peace of mind after a breakup

Breakup always hurts. No matter how long you've been together, it's harder for a woman to bear the loss. Unlike men, a woman loves first of all with her heart and soul, and then with her body. Emotionally attached, then it's hard to get rid of feelings. A man experiences much easier by switching his attention to another object.

Take a break for something. Find an interesting hobby, delve into work, it helps not to think every minute about the betrayal and meanness of a loved one. Make new friends, do not close yourself off from the world, communication heals.

Instead of looking for businessmen, look for single promising guys. After all, a strong and successful man is brought up by a woman, with her support, advice, love and care. So is it worth wasting energy on someone who does not appreciate all this, already having a wife?

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