(Letter found in a Johnny Walker whiskey bottle)
There was not a drop of living blood left in me. I inhale the aromas of spring, but I feel only the smell of burning. I'm looking at a sunny day and I don't see a thing. It's like my eyes are turned inward. And there a black hole is expanding, an insatiable, gluttonous gut in which the whole universe is capable of perishing. You betrayed me baby.
Of course, it's funny and even funny to look at the backside of this life, like the bottom of some fairy tail. Oh, look for charms in it. Pretending to understand why the cut is lengthwise and not across...
Day after day to sink deeper and deeper into the enveloping, transcendent anality and philosophically enjoy it.
No, I am not one of those who will believe in the myths invented by mankind to protect themselves from hopeless clarity. And the clarity is such that we are cockroaches on the table of God's Meal, seeking to grab a fatter crumb. Someone is allowed to do this, but someone immediately or, having played enough, is slammed with a slipper. I refuse to take these leftovers, which we call our Destiny. I am a cockroach who was born to starve to death.
I wash this stone face. Long before erosion. The alien face of the idol looks at me from the mirror. Why is there so much despair in him? Is it possible for a mass of skin, muscles and bones, a rough, featureless mess of hardened flesh, to express such filigree grief, such genuine drama with each of its imperfect cells? How is it possible…
Oh yeah, you betrayed me baby. Now I will finish with him, with this traitorous face, and write you a letter. I don't want to write a letter without washing away the hopelessness and confusion. The seal of doom on the forehead… haha… the seal of doom. That's better. There are no more tears in empty eye sockets. There are tears as long as you matter. Open your importance like a tin can, and they will all flow out at once. If you don't choke. They are of no use to me. I'm going to write a letter. First and last letter to you, baby.
... The monitor shamelessly makes faces at me. Waiting for me to start. It is not simple. Fuck that cannibal electronics. She ate a huge chunk of my life. I took away something priceless, necessary ... I don’t remember what ... I’ll take paper and a pencil. Yes, a pencil. He is not guilty. He is the only friend. Any difficult task can be greatly simplified if you stop considering it as such. I smirk.
Well, hello baby. You already know, for sure, that I will not write all this stupid nonsense like how much you mean to me. You already understand that, apart from you, I had nothing else. It is not your fault. And not mine. It just happened. I was stupid and weak and pitiful. Because when you were with me, I didn’t notice, avoided you, found more important things to do. I flippantly thought you weren't going anywhere. Didn't listen when you begged - stop, look around, think about what you really need. You always knew who I was...
Now I know that the battles that really matter are fought on invisible fronts.
I don't know if I can now say that it was you who betrayed me. And not vice versa. I made sure you closed the last door by throwing the keys under the paver. I didn't even understand how it happened. Just one day I woke up from a bad, heavy dream, looked around with empty pupils in a strange, cluttered room, and realized that I was alone. And the meaning is now in me, that in that cockroach ...
Of course I tried to find your trail. He wandered through uninhabited lanes and squares, met dawns in ditches, peered into the tunnels of twilight, yelled from bridges and roofs, pestered statues and passers-by, circling faceless cities and countries, and cursing the imperishable beauty with which he suddenly lost all connection. Howling brain-crushing, sleepless nights, whining and crying, scaring the local scumbags to death, and secretly hoping that when I suffered enough, the Almighty would take pity and show me the way to you. And you, baby, will come back and say - well, poor fool, did you finally understand what it's like to be empty?
I even went to church, to dozens of churches of different faiths. I don't know why, because you never asked me to. It was quiet and calm, or uncomfortable and cold, but you were not there. There was nowhere. And then, after the forty-eighth, in my opinion, attempted alcoholic suicide, it suddenly became clear to me that there would be nothing more. Not with me. I'm already dead. You're gone, and it's like I'm gone.
From that time on, I withdrew into myself, as if in a cramped closet, stopped leaving the house. Every day I looked at our photos, where you still are, and thought that this person does not understand his happiness. He is deaf and blind. And that broad self-satisfied grin, with which he signs his own death warrant, will soon slip from his face like an old snake skin. But the sentence will already be carried out. I tore the pictures to shreds, but these shreds were bigger than me...
I called you baby. But the prayers subsided over time.
I no longer need to pretend to be a living person. I'm a cockroach that doesn't want to eat anymore. What a passage, because earlier this was the only thing that occupied me. Eat and take from life that you can only drag away to devour later. And only, having become a truly cockroach, disgusting and hopeless, such that even you left me, I realized that I was fed up.
Of course, I will not stay in this city. I don't want to be slammed here. Do you remember the place where we first met? This is where my path lies now. Path to Mount Fuji. I left this letter for you even though I know you will never read it. But maybe others will read it, who are still able to stop, turn around and ... remain human. Save you baby. His little, hunted Vera.
1. Everything we hold dear can hurt us. For example, the more significant a person is, the more painful the separation will be. The more ambitious and interesting the new project, the more disappointed we will be if something does not go according to plan. Giving special significance to objects, we seem to wrap them in beautiful bright paper, under which pain and suffering are often hidden.
2. It is important to remember that no matter what happens, everything will be fine. This will help us let go of everything we hold on to too tightly. It's also helpful to list everything we're afraid of losing - jobs, relationships, watching our favorite shows before bed - and then tell ourselves, "I can do without it." We need very little to survive. Losing some people and things can be really painful, but you can move on with your life.
3. Accept the world around you the way it is. We can't change most of what annoys. We have no control over late buses, terrorists, incompetent politicians who start wars.
You just need to relax, understand what you really need, and changes will come by themselves.
4. The desire to say “Fuck it all...” betrays our disappointment in the search for the meaning of life. We are looking for it in everything: in the profession we choose, in relationships with a partner. We worry about finding meaning in life and worry about its absence. However, it is these searches that cause us the very pain that we ultimately send to ...
5. Give up the desire to improve this world, and you will immediately feel how you relax, as if you lay down to rest. Loosen your iron grip and your desire to change the world will disappear. And finally, having agreed with the real order of things, you will feel that you are overwhelmed with emotions, and you will want to say: “Fuck it all ...”.
6. The doubt that comes with making a decision makes us feel stressed. You just need to relax, understand what you really need, and changes will come by themselves. Perhaps, as soon as you realize that you want to quit, a friend will call you and tell you about an open vacancy. Get rid of the expectations of others, follow only your own expectations.
7. Learn to see the beauty around. We tend to evaluate the world in terms of attitudes laid down by education. These attitudes distort reality. But if you leave them in the past and look at the world through the eyes of a child, you will feel a pleasant relief.
8. We often do not know what we want, and therefore we care about the opinions of others. But if a person sets himself a clear goal - for example, to become the goalkeeper of the England national football team - he will achieve it no matter what. Confident in his abilities, he will be able to ignore any criticism: "you better study", or "get a real job", or "you're just wasting your time." If we clearly know what we want and confidently move towards our goal, then we cease to care what others say.
9. The traumatic experience of the past often makes us refuse new opportunities. Some people are afraid to fall in love because their last romance hurt them. Others are afraid to follow their dreams because they once failed. Some are even afraid to leave the house, because one day something bad happened to them on the street.
10. I believe that a person should not be afraid of dangers, but be aware of their presence. That is the purpose of the signs with the inscription "Attention!" - we are informed that the danger exists. It's important to be aware that driving a car can be dangerous, but that doesn't mean you should be afraid to get behind the wheel. It is helpful to understand that it is risky to cross a road with heavy traffic, but being afraid to cross a road is pointless. It is wiser to ski with caution than to abandon this hobby altogether.
More details in the book by D. Parkin "Send Everything to... or the Paradoxical Path to Success and Prosperity" (Eksmo, 2009).
Jerome Salinger, Paul Gauguin, Francis of Assisi, Bobby Fischer - what do they have in common, except that they all got into this offer?
Vlad Smirnov
No, starting life anew in search of a better life, retraining from a fisherman to a hunter or from a banker to a businessman, is a simple matter. Leaving at the peak of success is a much stranger act from the point of view of the townsfolk. Weird because it's incomprehensible. Indeed, there is no single explanation for such impulses. Someone is running from reality, someone is running towards a dream, one at the call of the heart, the other at the call of other organs.
We have collected the most famous “pick and drop” cases in history that happened to more or less mentally healthy men, and you decide for yourself whether to envy the heroes, sympathize with them or follow their example.
Who was: the son of a raja who lives in the pleasure palace.
What did you change for: on the life of an itinerant preacher.
Age of Crisis: 29 years.
Cause: shock from reality.
According to canonical sources, Siddhartha Gautama was born to the wife of an influential Indian rajah on the May full moon around 563 BC. As it should be in decent families, a famous hermit was invited to bless the titled baby, who discovered 32 signs that the child would become a great person. However, no one specified - a great ruler or a great teacher.
The father, of course, wanted to have an heir in the family, and not a preacher, and he decided from an early age to protect his son from suffering, deformities and generally unattractive aspects of life. Siddhartha was settled in the palace of pleasure, where only young and beautiful people had access. At the age of 16, he was married, and for the next 15 years, the plan of the cunning raja, in general, worked successfully.
However, at some point, the prince nevertheless suspected a trick, penetrated beyond the boundaries of his golden cage and tasted all the delights of the Indian hinterland - with knee-deep manure, leprous beggars and other unforgettable oriental flavor that has been successfully impressing the poetic youths of the whole planet for more than one thousand years.
Naturally, the prince abandoned the hateful comfort and for five years plunged into wandering through noisy bazaars, talking with teachers of varying degrees of enlightenment, surviving under the wall of monsoon rains and begging for a bowl of rice in the backyards of a village forgotten by the gods.
At the age of 35, sitting under the Bodhi tree, Siddhartha achieved enlightenment and became the founder of one of the most popular religions on the planet.
Who was: Roman emperor.
What did you change for: on the life of a gardener in the provinces.
Age of Crisis: 60 years.
Cause: disappointment in fellow citizens.
The future emperor was born in the family of a freedman (former slave). At a young age, he was sent to military service and made an incredible career - from an ordinary soldier to the governor of the province.
When the emperor Kar died, and his heir was killed in the course of state intrigue, Diocletian, popular among the soldiers, was elected to the highest state position. The choice turned out to be successful, but the last: Diocletian became one of the most effective rulers in ancient history, who turned the principate* into a monarchy.
A form of government in which the title of emperor can either be inherited by the son of the current ruler, or pass to an absolutely stranger during the vote of the senate
A strategist and an excellent military leader, he achieved the strengthening of the shaky borders of a huge state and for the first time in many years established peace in the vast territories of the empire. His reign has been called "the return of the golden age". However, the spoiled Romans behaved like a pig * - the people were dissatisfied with the insufficient splendor of the celebrations after the end of the war.
The emperor's ratings began to fall. And he decided to transfer power to his successor and go to the village, to his historical homeland, to plant a garden. This, however, was not quite a village, but a fortress-palace in the picturesque Nicomedia. And Diocletian did not work as a chopper himself - rather, he walked around the greenhouses.
However, according to the Roman historian Eutropius, once a letter from the capital, in which the successor asked if the emperor wanted to return to government, Diocletian replied with the famous phrase: “If you saw what kind of cabbage I grew, you would not ask stupid questions !"
Who was: the most fashionable writer in the United States.
What did you change for: for the life of a recluse in the province.
Age of Crisis: 34 years old.
Cause: unknown.
Jerome was born into the family of a New York rabbi and from childhood he waged war with his parents, who did not want to see a writer in their son. Salinger went through three universities and one college and published several student stories in magazines.
It all ended with being sent to the front, where for a long time they did not want to take Salinger for health reasons, however, to the horror of the family, he managed to break through to the front lines of World War II. In Europe, Salinger got to know his idol Hemingway, who noted the young writer's talent and inspired him to continue his writing career.
This is exactly what Jerome did when he returned to his homeland. The New Yorker magazine liked his story “The Banana Fish Is Good” so much that the editors agreed to buy the rights to all further stories of the promising writer.
It was the beginning of incredible glory. Salinger lived in New York, wrote short stories avidly, negotiated with Hollywood about their film adaptation, rotated in an artistic society and created his most amazing story - "The Catcher in the Rye." It was released in 1951 and soon became a national bestseller. The book was called a bible for teenagers in age and spirit, and its author was elevated to the status of a prophet. However, the further the cult developed, the less Salinger liked it, who at the same time became interested in Eastern philosophy and practiced Zen Buddhism.
In 1953, America's most fashionable writer bought a house in New Hampshire and unexpectedly closed there - he went out only to disperse the paparazzi from his porch three times a day. So Jerome spent the next 56 years. In 1965, he stopped publishing and finally stopped appearing to the public as an author and as a person.
All these years, fans have hoped that Salinger was writing and that somewhere in the bowels of an impregnable house there is a stack of brilliant novels and wonderful stories that readers will be able to enjoy at least after the death of an extravagant recluse. In 2010, death did come, and it turned out that the "great unpublished legacy" was a zilch. Instead of several huge volumes of "unpublished Salinger", only three short stories saw the light of day. All the while, the former great writer quietly meditated on a rug in his impregnable home, chuckling at the expectations of the crowd.
Who was: A successful stockbroker.
What did you change for: on the life of a leper artist in a thatched hut in Tahiti.
Age of Crisis: 45 years.
Cause: the desire to make a dream come true.
Gauguin began by being born into the family of a French journalist and a Peruvian aristocrat. The future genius spent his childhood in a colonial house in Peru, among bright colors and exotic traditions. At the age of seven, the boy was brought to Paris, where he received an education, but he could not fully fit into the life of the capital. Having failed the university exams, Paul fled the city and got a job as a sailor on a long-distance ship.
When the varmint was 24 years old, an influential friend of his mother got him a job on the stock exchange. Gauguin married a girl from a decent family, the family produced four children, moved to a prestigious area.
Everything seemed to be moving towards the fact that the adventures of a turbulent youth would turn into a couple of favorite anecdotes told at family dinners. However, Monsieur Gauguin threw an unexpected trick. For many years he painted pictures in his spare time from work and suddenly decided to quit his job and family and plunge headlong into the bohemian life.
Paul moved his family to his wife's homeland in Denmark, and he returned to Paris. He became his own in the company of impressionist artists and even participated in the famous episode with cutting off Van Gogh's ear. Having thundered in Parisian dens, Gauguin left France, first for Tahiti, and then for the completely wild Marquesas Islands.
In a hut under palm trees, a self-taught painter at an incredible pace painted amazing paintings about the beauty of black women and the omnipotence of pagan gods. Sick of leprosy, in complete poverty, but surrounded by vivid dreams, Gauguin ended his days without knowing that he was one of the greatest artists of the 19th century.
Who was: a representative of the golden youth of Assisi.
What did you change for: a mendicant monk.
Age of Crisis: 22 years old.
Cause: contempt for the consumer society.
Francis, who spent his time in merry revelry and drinking bouts, once felt ashamed of luxury and idleness. In the XII century, a young man from a good family, giving a raincoat to a beggar, looked extravagant - then charity centers were not littered with jeans and T-shirts, which people are too lazy to bring to the trash.
Therefore, Francis, who fell in love with distributing his gold-embroidered camisoles to beggars, was almost immediately recognized as a saint. There are numerous stories about how, in front of an astonished audience, he kissed the hand of a leper, how he scooped a handful of gold out of his pocket and poured it into a begging box, how he left a festive dinner to sit in a barn with pigs.
Francis hit the vein: peace and prosperity in his district were then higher than ever, and when people get too bored with consuming, they should be given the opportunity to fast and say goodbye - this excites the strongest religious feelings. Francis was adored by both the poor and the rich, and for many centuries he became one of the most popular Christian figures.
In the end, Francis founded the order of mendicant monks, walked in sackcloth, girded with a rope, read sermons to birds and urged everyone to follow his example. By the time of his death, his order - the Order of the Franciscans - received official recognition and became the most numerous in Europe.
Who was: Russian emperor.
What did you change for: having stepped aside from governing the country, he left to travel.
Age of Crisis: 48 years old.
Cause: guilt.
The legend about the elder Fyodor Kuzmich appeared ten years after the death of Alexander I. People said that a certain wanderer appeared in Siberia, his face extremely reminiscent of Emperor Alexander the Blessed. That elder remains silent about his past (however, he made a reservation a couple of times that he was someone very influential and exchanged worries for “freedom of the spirit”), leads a righteous and fasting life, performs miracles of healing and teaches children, taking only food as alms .
The people believed that the emperor they idolized, who led Russia to victory in the Patriotic War of 1812, did not die, but faked his death in order to go wandering - this reflected all Russian love for fairy tales and rulers.
However, even if the fact of the retreat of Emperor Alexander I was a legend, it should be recognized that in the last years of his life, the emperor was tormented by guilt for participating in the murder of his own father, Emperor Paul, and for waging numerous wars in which many died. people - a wiser ruler would probably have been able to avoid these victims.
Alexander repeatedly spoke about his plans to abdicate the throne, was fond of mysticism, and received all sorts of exotic preachers at the court. The king did not find pleasure in secular entertainment and more and more advocated "liberation from passions through the spiritual path."
True, Minister Arakcheev managed, with the help of skillful intrigue, to disperse the esoteric brethren and establish the position of the official church at court, but Alexander, during this exorcism, completely lost his taste for life and completely retired from public affairs. De facto, power completely passed to Arakcheev, and the emperor went on a trip to disperse the blues. According to the official version, on the way, in Taganrog, far from the capital, Alexander I was overtaken by typhoid fever, from which he died suddenly. Then the legend begins. In 1956, 13-year-old Robert Fischer became the winner of the US Chess Championship, at the age of 15 - the youngest grandmaster in the world. Fischer was a superstar and behaved accordingly. He was capricious, eccentric, demanded incredible fees for the game, set exorbitant prices for interviews - and still refused to talk to journalists.
And yes, he was a real genius, a great mathematician and a brilliant director of a chess game. Each tournament with his participation turned into a first-class show. The main intrigue in the chess world was Fischer's struggle for the title of world champion. The Russians did not give up the chess crown for 25 years, this confrontation was a symbolic sign of the superiority of socialism over the "decaying West".
In 1970, Fischer finally beat Spassky and received a fabulous fee of $250,000. It was his greatest triumph and the fulfillment of all desires. And as you know, the fulfillment of desires must be feared. After the match, the genius donated most of the fee to some strange church and settled in the California outback, moving from one cheap apartment to another, until he settled in the basement of his old acquaintance's house. Fischer did nothing, walked around the city, read magazines and acted as if there had never been a great chess show in his life. Why he did this, no one understood. Fischer became the first champion whose crown went to another due to the absence of the former king. Fischer refused all invitations, any proposals.
Journalists believed that Bobby was simply afraid of defeat and wanted to remain forever in the memory of fans at the peak of his career, that he broke down after losing his goal. This went on for twenty years. However, in 1990, the incredible happened: Fischer agreed to play a rematch with Spassky, and the match was extremely scandalous.
The battle was supposed to take place in Yugoslavia, which America at that moment considered an enemy. The US announced that it would sentence Fischer to 10 years in prison if he violated the embargo and came to Yugoslavia. And he came and won a tournament with a prize fund of 5 million dollars! Fisher spent the rest of his life in Hungary, Japan, the Philippines and Iceland, hiding from American justice.
After the death of the genius, it turned out that several widows claimed his inheritance at once, one of whom even managed to exhume the body in court - only to find out that Fisher was not the father of her child.
True, Edward's beloved turned out to be not at all a hard-working simpleton from a fairy tale, but a twice-divorced American socialite from a newspaper chronicle (oh, these fresh, tall, greedy American young ladies of the early 20th century!).
However, even before the affair with Wallis Simpson, the prince became famous for his addiction to married women. “It seems that the unfortunate boy stopped in his development immediately after he reached puberty,” his father George V lamented.
As a result, Edward VIII, who inherited the throne in 1936, ruled the country for less than a year. His affair with Wallis was then in full swing. Perhaps the king was counting on church and state to succumb to the whim of the heir when he announced that he would marry his mistress, even if it cost him to abdicate. However, Edward had a younger brother, and the throne easily passed to him, and the prisoner of tender passion was dismissed.
Was it a great sacrifice of love, or was the failed king simply running from the enormous responsibility of running a gigantic empire in the process of World War II, which was just on the horizon? We will never know. However, the ex-king spent the rest of his life in the status of a secular moth, fluttering with his wife between Paris and New York and being an honored guest at all fashion events.
Perhaps the wording “Fuck it all!” sounds rather crude, but it perfectly captures the emotional and semantic message required to follow this approach. If it cuts your ear, every time you see it in the text, mentally replace it with something more pleasant (for example, call it the “Forget it!” approach). Or maybe you, on the contrary, want to strengthen it with a vigorous word. Choose what suits you.
It doesn't matter what you call it. The main thing is what this approach implies.
What is the meaning of the approach “Fuck it all!”
Let's start with something that definitely has nothing to do with this approach. This perception of life does not mean that you need to give a damn about yourself, other people, your career. It does not imply that you should not strive for the best, and does not encourage you to drop everything and give up. You don't have to quit your job, sell all your property and settle on a desert island.
This is wrong. But sometimes you can
On the contrary, the “Fuck it!” approach helps you to be more involved in what is happening to you. How? It allows you not to focus too much on the possible consequences of your actions.
What is its principle? If you feel that some heavy thoughts, doubts or experiences are starting to put too much pressure on you, just mentally say: “Fuck it all!” And you can and not only mentally. Put more emotions into this phrase and, if you have the opportunity, add gestures.
At the same time, ask yourself questions.
- What will these experiences give me? Do they help me or, on the contrary, hinder me?
- What happens if what I'm afraid of happens? Am I really not going to be able to handle this?
Usually the answer is obvious. Therefore, repeat one more time: “Yes, it’s all gone!” And relax or, conversely, move on to action.
With this attitude towards life, you do not attach too much importance to your successes and failures, happy and unsuccessful loves, emotional ups and downs. It allows you not to take things to heart. This can be called healthy indifference.
How and when to apply the “Fuck it!” approach on practice
Here are some situations in which you can and should use this approach. Harmless and not so much.
1. You can't choose what to wear and it drained you of everything.
Yes, it all went! Do you remember what everyone you met at the last party was wearing? Hardly. It's likely that by tomorrow morning, the only person who will remember your outfit will be yourself.
2. You scroll through your social media feed and it seems to you that everything is cool with everyone except you
3. You're stuck at a job you hate.
Let this work go! Just start looking for another one. Don't give in to stress. Calmly continue to work and at the same time make a plan for how to turn off to where you will feel happier.
4. Thoughts of old age begin to terrify you.
Yes, it all went! Can you somehow stop time? Don't waste your youth thinking about old age. In addition, you always have the opportunity to become a cheerful, wise old man. And enjoy the fact that you will get away with many things that would not be forgiven by the young.
5. You liked a pretty waiter or waitress
Scary? Yes, it all went! Praise him or her for their work and leave your number. If you don't get in touch, well... Don't go to this cafe for the next two years or ten years. And be proud of yourself because you didn't get cold feet.
6. You are walking down a long street and there is no one around except another person moving towards you.
Does it bother you? Yes, it all went! Smile at this person. This is better than pretending to be terribly interested in the asphalt under your feet.
7. You're terribly tired, but don't want to cancel a meeting with friends for the third time in a row.
Yes, it all went! Go to a meeting. You will definitely have more fun than if you stay at home lying in bed. Or vice versa, stay and enjoy your holiday to the fullest.
8. You are in love with someone but are afraid to admit it.
Yes, it all went! Take and say. You may only hear, “Hmm, thanks!” But there is always a chance that the answer will be more pleasant. At least you won't be tormented by "what if" thoughts.
9. In a cafe, they didn’t bring you what you ordered, and you are afraid to say so.
Yes, it all went! Feel free to claim your rights, you paid money for it. Correcting the mistake is not so difficult, for your nuggets the cook does not have to raise and slaughter a new chicken.
10. You feel passive-aggressive from one of your friends.
Yes, it all went! Ask him what's wrong. If you hear “Nothing” in response, it will no longer be your problem. If they tell you that you acted like a donkey and it's true, then apologize, treat a friend to wine, knit a sweater for him or do something else like that. Think for yourself.
11. You had a hard day and you just need a piece of cake.
Yes, it all went! Eat it! Eat the whole cake if you really need to.
12. You have a presentation at work and it terrifies you.
Yes, it all went! No one will find fault with you the way you imagine it in your fantasies. But obviously not everyone is given this opportunity. Just feel how cool you are - and go ahead.
13. Friends eat their fill and then berate themselves for it.
Yes, it all went! You don't have to follow their lead. Eat what you want and don't apologize to anyone for it. If you have already decided to enjoy the meal, do not let the feeling of guilt torment you.
14. You want to go to the gym or play sports, but are embarrassed about your body.
Yes, it all went! Why else do people go to the gym, if not to improve their physical shape? If you like it, you will have a new . And if not, then no one will hold you by force.
15. Today is a day off and you really want to sleep off, but you are afraid to spend the day unproductively
Yes, it all went! If you feel like you deserve sleep, sleep. It pays to give yourself that opportunity from time to time. Preparing food for the week will have to wait.
16. You tried on a practical thing that doesn't inspire you at all.
Yes, it all went! Leave it at the store and save money for something that will make your soul flutter.
17. There is a new position in your company and you think it might suit you.
Don't decide? Yes, it all went! Talk to the boss. You do not have to be appointed to this position so immediately, but you deserve the right. Trying is not torture.
18. A friend offended you without noticing it.
Yes, it all went! Talk to him and let him know that you are hurt. Be prepared for the fact that you may be told something unpleasant in response. In any case, do not remain silent and accumulate resentment. Open conversation gives you a chance to improve the relationship.
19. Your colleague sitting across from you hates you and you don't understand why.
Does he always give you nasty looks? Yes, he went! If something does not suit him, he could tell you what the matter is. In general, you can't please everyone.
20. Your love boat went down with a bang.
It's all gone! But the holes no longer need to be plugged. Maybe next time you'll have a whole boat.
And this is just a sample list. Use the “Fuck it!” approach. every time you start having toxic thoughts. Well, does it help?
"Burn it all with a blue flame!" - it happens and they want these words to escape! So sometimes everything will get you that you want to drop everything, send everything to hell, mentally say yes it all went to hell and run away far, far away ...
At such moments, for some reason, I imagine a small house ... such an old one, inside there is a stove, a table with a bench and three beds with a net, you still fall so comfortably into them)
Why three? Probably because at these moments I don’t want to see anyone except my kids. You can have one bed, but a big one!! And they would tumble there and jump, and so that absolutely nothing and nowhere was needed !!
Just us and the birds outside the window...
And so you go out in the morning with the kids, the sun is shining, there are flowers around, grass and a children's swing. And the lake is a must. And a boat... rubber with oars. And such silence. And the children laugh and their laughter echoes across the lake.
Mmm... beauty)
Why do you sometimes want to escape reality?
I think it's just plain tiredness. Emotional fatigue. When something goes wrong, when you fight for something, but in the end everything is in vain, when every day you do routine work like a robot, when something in the family goes down, and so on.
There are many reasons why everything can start to fall out of hand. Apathy sets in. And sometimes depression. But personally, I will probably attribute my current state to the concept of “autumn melancholy”.
About a year ago, I wrote an article “”, now it’s about the same ... I won’t “cry” here and describe what and why, because ...
"The pessimist shouts - "I'm falling!", The optimist shouts - "I'm flying!"
I still believe in the best and do not give up!! My children, thank you my dear ones!
That's really all I wanted to say today...
Thank you for your attention!) Always believe in your victory over any difficulties and obstacles for the better! And don't listen to anyone...
Always with you, Sasha Bogdanova
