Desire for comfort
There can be several reasons for a crying baby. Among them, the simplest and most common is a wet diaper. Intuitively, the baby wants to be warm and dry. As soon as he feels that he is uncomfortable, he will call mom. Moreover, if this sensation prevents him from sleeping. The only way to call mom for is crying. Therefore, the first action of the mother to calm down is to change the diaper.Hunger
If the baby is hungry, then he will definitely inform his mother by crying. In the first month of his life, a child most often wakes up from hunger. In fact, in order to eat, he wakes up. After all, urination, for example, occurs during sleep. Therefore, after changing the diaper, the baby needs to be fed.Pain
Pain is also a feeling of discomfort that the child needs to be helped to cope with. The causes of pain can be different. It can be intestinal colic or teething. If the baby has a diaper changed, fed him, and he does not stop crying and cannot sleep, then most likely the reason is pain. If the baby's age is 1-3 months, then painful sensations are more likely associated with colic. In this case, you should apply a warm diaper or heating pad on the baby's belly, massage the belly clockwise and give drugs for baby colic.Crying from toothache is more likely to occur when toddler is older than 5 months. In this case, pain relievers will help.
The breastfeeding itself for the infant is gradually becoming more than just a way to remove hunger. It is also a natural pain reliever. Therefore, a slightly grown baby can ask for a breast not only from hunger, but also to calm down and reduce pain, including toothache.
Desire to communicate
The desire for bodily contact, touch is not just a whim of a baby, but his vital need. Therefore, the baby can be well-fed, dry, he has no pain, but he continues to cry. This is because he wants attention and communication. In this matter, it is necessary to find a "golden mean". For the baby, it is ideally in the arms of the mother around the clock. But it is quite understandable that this is impossible. Therefore, the mother must find the necessary balance so that the baby has the opportunity to be in her arms, and she herself can do the necessary things. As a bias towards constant hyper-care for the baby (the mother drops everything and always immediately runs up to the child at the slightest cry), so ignoring the baby's need for communication leads to the formation of a capricious child.In any case, you first need to eliminate the simplest reasons for the possible crying and whims of the baby - a wet diaper and hunger. If the suspected cause is pain, the immediate effect of the measures taken to alleviate it should not be expected. It can be difficult and time-consuming to reduce it. Sometimes you just need the time and care of your beloved mother for the baby to calm down.
How is your health?
Crying is a healthy response to stimuli. The child still does not know how to explain, express thoughts, desires, and the only way to attract the attention of adults is a loud, drawn-out cry.
By crying, the baby notifies the parents that he is hungry, tired and wants to sleep or that he is tormented by pain, discomfort. Therefore, for a start, possible negative influences should be excluded: feed the baby, check the diapers, see if the room is hot (or, conversely, cold). When the baby is freezing, he becomes pale, the arms, legs and nose become cold, blue may appear in the area of the nasolabial triangle. If the child is hot, he blushes and sweats.
Often, crying is evidence of the baby's discomfort. For example, about colic or headache.
Bloating and colic usually bother babies up to 3-6 months of age. At this age, the process of digestion and movement of food through the intestines is imperfect due to insufficient contractility of the muscular layer of the intestine, low activity of enzymes, microflora that is not formed or disturbed for some reason. However, tummy massage, proper nutrition and colic remedies can solve the problem.
Headache in infants is a common reaction to changes in weather or changes in atmospheric pressure. But if migraines disturb the baby too often, the child should be examined by specialists, since in rare cases headaches are a sign of perinatal encephalopathy syndrome (PEP), characterized by increased intracranial pressure, changes in muscle tone and excessive excitability.
You should consult a doctor without delay in the same cases when:
- the cry of the baby is shrill and painful;
- the child cries without interruption for more than 3 hours;
- the baby has a fever, vomiting, stool disorder, and a rash.
I'm so tired!
Often evening whims arise due to banal fatigue. Every passing day gives a small child a lot of vivid impressions. A new rattle, a walk in the park, the introduction of complementary foods - any minor detail for an adult for a baby is a discovery, a serious accomplishment that requires mental and intellectual costs. And by the end of a normal day, the child may feel "squeezed out like a lemon." And he can protest, show dissatisfaction, be capricious, cry. Of course, the most correct thing is not to bring the child to a state of extreme fatigue. Children need a regime when the mother knows exactly what time the baby should be fed, when to bathe and put to bed, in order to prevent "food riots" or overwork. Compliance with daily rituals is also important: bathing, light massage, lullaby or reading at night.
Many infants from birth to three months of age experience a phenomenon called “ evening dysrhythmia"When the baby whines and whines for no reason. The child may ask for a breast or a bottle, suck a little, quit, turn away, cry, then start eating again. This behavior is characteristic of crumbs that have not yet developed a sleep-wakefulness regime.... Over time, this problem will disappear by itself.
If hysteria could not be avoided, it is important to remember that crying a child relieves accumulated stress. In each situation, the character and temperament of the baby must be taken into account: one child can be comforted by swearing in his arms, and the other should be left to cry alone for a few minutes, and then come back, hug, caress, and then put him to bed. But in any case, it is impossible to punish the child for the hysterical scenes that arose against the background of overwork, or to leave the baby without consolation, support.
Just a moment of attention
Often, nervous breakdowns in young children are associated with a lack of parental attention. Babies are especially sensitive to separation from their mother. For example, when mom goes to work and the baby sees her only in the evenings. Trying to compensate for the lack of communication, the child can literally "terrorize" the parents with endless whims and whimpering. Some adults, feeling guilty before the child, begin to pamper the baby. Others, on the other hand, react sharply and harshly to whining and anxiety.
It is necessary to find a "golden mean". On the one hand, you should not succumb to hysterical provocations, but on the other hand, it is important to create an atmosphere of security and care for the child. For a baby, hugs, joint games on the carpet, family reading, and conversations are vital.
Three rings
Sometimes evening tantrums can be associated with the reluctance of the child to go "to the side". After all, the need to go to sleep forces the child to stop an interesting game or communication with parents, whom he missed during the day. Try to avoid fun activities just before bed. Remind your child several times that after a while you will have to "round off", step into the bathroom, and then into the bedroom. The first warning is 20 minutes, and 2-3 times remind about the upcoming plans. An abrupt termination of an entertaining game or conversation is not easy for an adult, and even for a child, whose attention switch is slower, and even more so.
Direct transmission
We are used to keeping negative emotions in ourselves at work, at a party, and at home to relax and throw out a bad mood on our loved ones. But tension and irritability are easily transmitted to others, especially children, who, trying to lose weight, begin to cry and whine, which only heightens the situation. When you feel irritated, tired, first relax: take a bath with aromatic oils, do self-massage, sit for a few minutes in silence, breathing deeply, meditate. According to scientific studies, in 30% of cases of mothers suffering from depression, children are also susceptible to depression. Toddlers are extremely sensitive to the moods of their parents, and a positive attitude and calmness give the child a sense of balance and peace. If during the day an unpleasant event happened in the family, a scandal that alarmed the child, be sure to discuss them with the baby in the evening. Explain to the child what happened, discuss the feelings that he experienced: "You were scared that we shouted", or "We will try not to swear anymore", or "We love you very much."
Kelly Boniata, BSc, IBCLC (about the author).
Translated by Anna Dorogavtseva, with permission from the author; edited by Maria Sorokina and Victoria KhudyakovaQuite often, newborns behave restlessly and constantly suckle in the evenings, especially in the first months of life.
My daughter, for several months, was capricious almost every evening (fortunately, this really goes away!). I spent whole weeks sitting on the couch, while the baby was constantly feeding and / or anxious in my arms. This was repeated every day from 6 to 10 pm.
But my son and I could not afford such a luxury as sitting on the couch. At this time of day, Alex was unhappy and cried if I did not carry it in a pole on my arms (and sometimes it only calmed him a little). It used to be that he was very restless himselfledand in the afternoon. He rarely calmed down on his chest (unlike my daughter), so, to my regret, I usually could not use this method (although I always tried it). His concern was so pronounced that I began to look for other possible causes (for example,sensitivity to certain types of food ). But we did not manage to determine the cause of the problem, and the rest of the day he was calm and beamingly smiling. Evening moods gradually began to subside at the age of 3-4 months (which is normal), but the first months were very difficult for us. Now I am often asked: "Is he always so cheerful with you?" So remember: this difficult period will also pass ...
Periods very frequent, or almost continuous, prolonged feedings(in English "cluster feedings, bunch feedings") - these are periods when the child practically does not take breaks between the next and the previous feeding at a certain time of the day, that is, he sucks almost constantly, and at other times of the day he may require breast much less often. This is a fairly common occurrence, and it usually happens in the evenings. Often (but not always) this period is followed by prolonged sleep, it may even be longer than usual. The kid needs to "refuel" tightly before getting a good sleep. For example, your child may suckle every hour (or even suck continuously) between 6 and 10 pm to fall asleep for a long time, and possibly sleep peacefully all night.
These feedings often coincide with periods of anxiety in babies... The baby sucks for a few minutes, drops the breast, worries, cries, sucks again for a while, then drops and cries again ... and so on and on ... for several hours. All this can be STRONGLY exhausting, and the mother begins to ask herself if the baby has enough milk, or what she ate wrong, or maybe it seems to her that EVERYTHING she does is wrong and the child does not like ... All this can significantly shake your self-confidence, especially if someone close to you asks you the same questions (your mother, your husband, mother-in-law).
But this behavior is NORMAL! It has nothing to do with milk or your childcare. If your baby is happy for the rest of the day, if you don't feel like he is in pain (like with colic), just keep trying to calm him down and don't berate yourself that you are the reason for this behavior. Let your baby hang on your chest for as long as he wants and as often as he wants. Ask your dad (or another helper) to bring you food and supplies (book, remote control, phone, etc.) while you feed and carry your baby.
Does this behavior mean that the baby needs more milk than I can give him?
No. Don't give your baby a bottle - supplementation will simply tell your body that you need LESS milk today, and this will not solve the problem. Also keep in mind that artificial babies also behave restlessly in the evenings - this behavior is typical for all newborns, regardless of the type of feeding. The Academy of Breastfeeding Medicine explains this situation in its own way:
There are typical clinical situations where assessment of the situation and assistance in organizing breastfeeding may be needed, but supplementation is NOT RECOMMENDED, including [in the following situation: - approx. Transl.] ... The child is restless in the evenings or continuously suckles breasts for hours.
Why do babies behave anxiously in the evenings?
One popular explanation for this behavior is that milk supply decreases slightly towards evening due to the natural daily hormonal cycle. However, Dr. Peter Hartmann, who has done a lot of breastfeeding research, says that the women he studied had milk quantities. not was low during this period of the day. Even if the milk volume decreases in the evening, the fat content usually rises in the evening (especially if the baby himself controls latching, that is, when feeding it as needed), as a result, the number of calories that the baby receives should not be very different. Milk in the evenings maybe shedding more slowly, which may be frustrating for some babies.
Doctors often associate evening moods with the immaturity of the child's nervous system (after all, this behavior disappears when the child grows up, usually by 3-4 months). However, Dr.Katherine Dettweiler (who has conducted research on breastfeeding in traditional communities across nations) argues that, for example, tribal children in Mali (West Africa) and other traditional societies do not experience colic and anxiety in the afternoons and evenings. ... These babies are worn all day and are usually breastfed several times an hour.
Thus, it is likely that none of the explanations presented provides a complete answer to the question of evening whims. It seems that many children, by this behavior, express the need for frequent attachments, when they can receive milk in small portions, as well as for movement and for being held a lot in their arms and pressed to themselves. Babies who are given expressed milk or bottle formula as much as they can eat (note: bottle feeding reduces your milk production!) Often behave the same way in the evenings. The baby sucks out some of the expressed milk (or formula) and falls into a shallow sleep (and worries), then drinks a little more, and so on. Perhaps the children "remember" that during pregnancy the mother was very active during these hours, and they want to be worn again, rocked, and fed continuously.
Perhaps babies just need to be breastfed more often at this time - and not to eat more milk.
How to calm your child during “hectic” hours
- Carry your baby in a sling or other carrier. This frees up one or both hands for other activities (cooking dinner, caring for other children) while you carry, comfort, and feed your baby.
- Take a break from your routine... Let Dad spend time with the baby while Mom takes a shower or just rests and wakes up after a long day.
- Go outside... Take a walk, this will help you and your baby relax; or you can just sit outside and enjoy the fresh air. Try to do this a little earlier than your little one's usual “hectic” times.
- Comfort with sounds... Sing, hum, purr, whisper, listen to music, or use white noise. Try different sounds, styles of music and singers with different types of voices.
- Comfort with rhythmic movements... Walk, swing, jump, dance, you can even try to ride a car.
- Comfort with touch... Carry the baby in your arms, or bathe him, give him a gentle massage
- Remove irritants... Dim the lights, reduce the noise, swaddle the baby.
- Vary your feeding positions. Try to feed while lying on your side, lying on your back with your baby to suckle, lying belly to belly, etc.
- Feed on the move(while you rock it, lull it, walk, etc.)
- Combine rhythmic movements and soothing sounds.
- Avoidfeeding according to the regimen especially during hectic evening hours
@ KellyMom website
- My baby is fussy! Is something wrong? What is normal, reasons for fussing, and comfort measures for baby.
- My baby is gassy. Is this caused by something in my diet?
- The distractible baby
- Is your baby nursing all the time?
@ other sites
- Fussy babies - is it the arsenic hour? from the Australian Breastfeeding Association
- Cluster Feeding by Lisa Hassan Scott, from the September 2014 Breastfeeding Today
- Infant fussiness from Mother-2-Mother.com
- The Pitfalls of Supplementing a Breastfed Baby by Cheryl Taylor White
Every evening, when the parents (dad) come home, the child starts to be capricious. Why are children especially active and moody in the evening?
Every night when I get home from work, the baby just loses her temper. She starts to run, to be capricious and literally becomes uncontrollable. I'm already afraid of evenings.
By the end of a long day, the little ones get very tired of the day's games and experiences. And their fatigue, naturally, manifests itself in whims, crying, screaming and other elements of "uncontrollability". Unfortunately, this behavior coincides with a moment when the parents' patience was almost exhausted after a normal day spent alone with a small child, or after strenuous work. Even the most cold-blooded people are easily irritated during these hours.
How to spend an evening without children's whims
Nothing guarantees you peace, silence and calm nerves. However, there are tricks, thanks to which the evening can become more or less calm. Most of them are quite suitable for those parents who do not work, but stay at home with their children.
- Relieve stress before returning home.
By five o'clock in the evening, not only the baby is tense. The stress levels of parents who need to cook dinner, tidy up a bricked-up house, or, if they were at work, buy groceries, run into the laundry, look through their mail and answer phone calls, also skyrocket. In the evenings, adults and toddler “warm up” each other, which leads to a nervous situation, so before heading to the front door, release tension. Get off the bus or subway a few blocks from your home and walk. Listen to soothing music on the go or in your car. After driving the car into the garage, do not rush out of it. Sit for about five minutes and breathe deeply, this exercise will help you relieve fatigue. And most importantly, in no case think about what you have to do. Think of something pleasant or try to cheer yourself up (think of a funny situation that happened to you or someone you know). After such "auto-training" you can calmly cross the threshold of your house: now you will have the strength to not only calm your baby, but also treat his antics with humor.
If you have a tough day at work, forget about all the troubles as soon as you enter your home. If you have been at home with your baby all day, you will have to relieve stress with him.
- Take a short break. Instead of jumping straight into business, rest for a while first (after all, if a whimpering child clings to your foot, it is still impossible to get busy).
Take a few deep breaths, pick up your child and sit with him (preferably away from a place that reminds you of the work ahead). Hug the baby to you and read poetry with her or listen to music for children (if you play the same melody every night, this will quickly turn into a habit and, perhaps, even cause the Pavlovian effect: music will be associated with peace in you). Or do something that pleases both of you: put together a mosaic, read a fairy tale, look at pictures, relax together in a quiet dark room, take a warm bubble bath together, sculpt something from plasticine, paint, play with a toy that you do not give unattended. You can relieve stress by going to the playground, walking around the block, doing yoga or aerobics on the carpet. If it's time to cook dinner, let the baby help you.
- Prepare the background. Mute your phone call (or put your phone on an answering machine), dim bright lights, turn off the TV, and remove any other irritants that might disturb the evening silence. It's rest time. Invite your child to play calmly, avoid hectic activities.
- Feed. The baby's stomach lives according to its own schedule, different from that of older children and adults.
Asking your child to wait until dinner usually means you are asking the child to do the impossible. Since hunger is a common cause of a toddler's irritability, the sooner you quench the gurgling in a girl's stomach, the more surely you will get rid of her gurgling. Another potential benefit of having an early meal for your toddler is that your daughter will eat with a lot of appetite (just like overworked children cannot sleep, over-starved ones often cannot eat), you too will have supper with an appetite (having to sit at the dinner table with an irritated toddler will deprive anyone of their appetite. ) and you can have a wonderful time alone or with your spouse (especially if you sit down to dinner when the baby is in bed. This will also happen if you just wait until she calms down a bit).
Crying of a child in the first year of life is a fairly frequent and familiar phenomenon, it is through such an emotion that a child can show that he is awake, wants to eat, or has something in pain. Such situations are quite common and do not cause much stress for parents, but there is also such an option when a child cries before going to bed day after day, bringing unnecessary stress into the life of his mom and dad.
In order to understand what is happening to the child at this moment, it is worth examining a number of possible reasons.
Reasons for crying in the evening:
- If the baby is still very small, the main reason for such crying is colic, which, as you know, come at the same time, since it is directly related to the time of the intestine, which is activated just in the evening. In addition to crying, the main symptoms of colic are sweating, redness of the baby, pressing the legs to the tummy. The time interval when colic should pass is no more than 100 days.
- Effects on the nervous system. It is absolutely impossible to protect the child from all the stimuli of the child, but it is necessary to reduce their number, since it is the influence of the external environment that causes a certain amount of emotions in the child and the more the baby receives them, the harder it will be for the not yet strengthened nervous system to cope with them, even if these emotions were positive ... Thus, due to a malfunction of the nervous system, crying is obtained.
- The most common causes of crying in the evening are: hunger, uncomfortable bed, cold or, on the contrary, heat. A hungry child will not be able to fall asleep until he has eaten, and even if he falls asleep, he will immediately wake up, therefore, the diet must be monitored carefully enough. The child should be comfortable in his crib, so watch how the baby behaves when he is there, whether he calms down or, on the contrary, the hysteria only gets stronger.
It is important to observe the regime of not only nutrition, but also sleep. That is, every day, try to put the baby at a certain time and in his permanent bed. A few hours before bedtime, it should be taken into account that one person should lay and be with the child, since a large number of people nearby affect the child's nervous system excitingly and it will be more difficult for him to fall asleep.
Before going to bed, perform the same actions in a certain sequence, thereby developing a habit not only for yourself, but also for the child, whose body will understand that he will soon be sleeping. By following this small number of rules, you can avoid a lot of problems.
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