• Is it worth building a relationship with a younger man? A young guy and an adult woman: the psychology of relationships What to do if the man you like is younger than the woman

    19.10.2023

    Why did I choose him? My love story with a man 10 years younger

    Now I understand that my life has just begun with the divorce from my first husband. And then I thought that it was over and I would never see any more joy or love. My ex-husband, who worked in the police, always provided for me, and I didn’t have to work hard. While raising our daughter, I did what I knew best - gardening. Living in the suburbs, in my private house, I acquired my own greenhouse and grew seedlings and vegetables for sale. we divided the house in half and stayed in it with my ex-husband, making separate entrances. My income was all that I could earn in a season from my plot.

    When I moved on from the divorce and realized that it was worth moving on, because I needed to earn money for my daughter to go to college soon, I decided to radically change my life. There was simply no talk of marriage at that time. Having a higher economic education, I have never worked in my profession for a day. A friend hinted that if I had an accounting degree, she would take me with her. Who would have known that this is where the story of my late, great and true love would begin.

    I signed up for the best three-month accounting course in the city. Being the oldest in the group (and I was already 36 then), to my surprise, I grasped everything on the fly. At the end of the training, our already friendly group decided to celebrate receiving the documents in a cafe. I haven’t had fun for so long, so I didn’t think twice and went along with everyone else. It was a lot of fun, we danced, talked a lot and were all very happy. IN That evening Maxim, a sweet young boy, became a little bolder and began to pay more attention to me than usual. I had noticed his timid attempts and embarrassment before, but I attributed them more to the fact that it seems to me or would like me to be even more attractive to men.

    That evening, when everyone from the cafe was going home, Maxim, like a youth, invited me to the cinema. In order not to offend him, I agreed, confident that we were unlikely to meet again. Delighted with my agreement, he suggested going to the cinema immediately. After the session, he decided to find out my phone number. At that moment, I didn’t even perceive him as a man and couldn’t think that this handsome guy would radically change my life.

    He called the very next day and we had a very nice conversation . I got a job with a friend, continued to run the household plot and... answer regular calls. This went on for about 3 months and communication with Maxim literally became a habit. He also got a job, and we often exchanged knowledge and opinions with him. topic. Before my birthday, he decided to ask me out on a date. Moreover, he insisted that this would not be a friendly meeting, but a date.

    He was completely different at this meeting. Nothing remained of the timid guy, and standing in front of me was a confident young man, stylishly dressed and holding a large bouquet of yellow gerberas. We walked in the park, went to eat at a Japanese restaurant and... woke up in the morning together. This would be the first day of my life when I felt like a real happy woman and literally melted. By the time I woke up in his rented apartment, a note was waiting for me: “Wait for me, I’ll be there by lunchtime. Your Max."

    I reread these few words over and over again and felt like a young fool in love. But I didn't want it to end. There was only one obstacle left - the age difference. But he is only 8 years older than my daughter (!). But, looking ahead, I can say that I made a bold decision to allow myself to be happy and still have not regretted it.

    What relationship problems did we face?

    Love is love, and life, as they say, is life. The cloudless romance gradually lost its bright sparks, but the love between us grew stronger, and this made me very happy. Now all past problems seem ridiculous and not even worth a damn. And then I had a very hard time overcoming stereotypes, suspicions and mistrust. Actually, among the main problems I can highlight the following:

    • We dated for six months as students, walked hand in hand, hid from friends, until Maxim insisted on meeting my daughter. The first problem was that our daughter was not ready for a man to appear in our lives, much less such a young one. I didn’t bother to prepare her for this in advance, simply bringing Maxim to dinner one day. It took almost a year for the relationship between my Anechka and my beloved man to improve, and my daughter began to accept him as an equal member in our family.
    • The second problem is public opinion. I couldn’t even think about how many evil tongues there are around. Everyone was gossiping about our relationship every now and then. I pretended that this did not concern me, but in my heart I was very upset. Nobody wanted to understand our, my happiness. Everyone was more interested in what kept us together, whether I had bewitched him, etc. Neighbors, co-workers, friends - no one avoided the topic of my civil marriage. Even when two years had passed since our life together, even in an unregistered marriage, some still without embarrassment asked straight to the face, “Are you still together with your little one? He didn’t exchange you for a young woman?”

    • Suspicions. Numerous opinions of my “friends” led to this problem. Each one did not miss the opportunity to say that I was getting old and would soon cease to be attracted to my young husband. Some tried to find me an older man and introduce me to him. At first I didn’t react to this in any way, but then more and more often I began to think about what would happen in 10 years, when Maxim would be in the prime of his life, and I would be semi-retired. I would be lying if I said that this problem was resolved 100%. Sometimes, albeit rarely, I think about what will happen next, but I drive these thoughts away from myself, because I am happy here and now. It makes sense that I thought: the first marriage is forever. It broke up, and, by the way, because of the husband’s regular infidelities and the desire to build a future life with his mistress. But he was my same age... No one is immune from what happens next.

    All other problems can be considered household trifles that have nothing to do with the age difference between spouses. For example, the fact that Maxim earned little was decided by a change of job, and his lack of previous experience living with women did not prevent us from building a relationship that was ideal from the point of view of both.

    Benefits of age-unequal marriage

    We have been living together for 14 years. During this time, I managed to appreciate all the advantages of an unequal marriage in which the man is 10 years younger.

    • Motivation to move forward. I often think what would have happened to me if Maxim had not appeared in my life. As practice has shown, we motivated each other to achieve achievements and victories in life. Now I have a small company that provides training in using the 1C program, and Maxim is my deputy. I never thought that at 50 I would be a business lady, and not a gardener with soil under my nails.
    • I'm a mom again. During my marriage, I managed to become a grandmother, but I also experienced the joy of motherhood once again. This is an indescribable feeling - the birth of a baby at a conscious age. I understood one thing - there is no age at which it would be impossible to give birth. And our son Mishenka confirms this.
    • An incentive to take care of yourself. To be a match for my young husband, at a conscious age I began to comprehend the wisdom of self-care. If before I didn’t even know how to put on makeup, now I have a membership to a fitness club, a full wardrobe of trendy things and regular trips to the hairdresser and makeup artist. Despite my age according to my passport, I feel like I’m 20, experiencing my second youth, which is better than the first.

    To be honest, despite the problems that we periodically had in our relationship, I cannot single out a single disadvantage associated with the age difference. All I have now are only advantages.

    My recommendations on how to save a marriage with a husband who is 10 years younger

    If you have the same situation as me, and a young man is also interested in you, and a relationship has begun, then I am ready to give my advice on maintaining an idyll in the family.

    • Don't be afraid. Don't be afraid to start living together and get officially married. Despite the age difference, your chosen one was and remains a man, with his own instincts, aspirations and needs. While you spend your life thinking about fears, years pass. But you can spend them in happiness with your loved one.
    • Give birth. Motherhood is a chance not only to strengthen relationships, but also to become mentally and physically really younger. Don't be afraid of gossip, because this is your life. At your age, you already have something to give your child both morally and financially. Make your man happy with your baby, and it will have a positive effect on your relationship.

    • The opinions of others are not authority. By listening to the opinions and gossip of others, you will not be able to build your happiness. Everyone has their own life, just like you. No matter what your neighbors and friends say, only you know what it’s like to lie in a cold bed and think about how you’re getting old, having never experienced true female happiness. As they say, live by the principle - the dogs bark, but the caravan moves on.
    • Treat him as an equal. Never remind your man about the age difference and do not teach from the height of your own experience. Give him the opportunity to prove himself. The more he feels like a man, the happier the woman next to him you will be.

    All their lives, women dream of having not only a handsome, cheerful, generous man next to them, but, most importantly, a loving and mature man. However, what can be meant by “maturity” and does it really only come with age? Life is an insidious thing and it often turns out that a seemingly young and naive young man is actually a much more mature and accomplished person than you might think at first glance. So, what is so good about these hot younger men and aren’t such relationships often frowned upon out of simple envy?


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    1. Sex

    For him, you are an experienced woman who is absolutely not shy about her sexual impulses. You are his invaluable sexual experience without a bit of embarrassment, which so often poisons the entire passion of a relationship. For you, he always tries to be on top in bed, especially since he has a huge reserve of strength and passion for this. In an attempt to be the best for you, he makes every effort to become the best lover for you.

    2. No burdensome “baggage”

    He is younger, which means he does not yet know about alimony, he does not have several ex-wives who are trying to get his entire salary, he is not spoiled by life, does not despise marriage as an institution, and has a completely different attitude towards his career. He is only inexperienced in life lessons, since before meeting you he had not yet gotten married and had children, which means he is quite ready to do this together.


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    3. He's bored with girls his own age.

    Most often, young men complain that they are simply mortally tired of the stupidity and naivety of life of their peers. This is why they are so attracted to older women - they are more interesting to be with, they have experience in completely different areas of life. Don’t judge by the numbers in his passport - no, he’s not stupid just because he’s younger, you’ll be surprised, but he can easily carry on almost any conversation and even build a relationship.


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    4. Unlike you, he has no complexes due to the age difference

    And why are women so sure that they cannot sincerely please a man just because they are older? In fact, men are proud of relationships with experienced women, because it is next to such a woman that he feels like the man he wants to be.


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    5. He is resourceful and ambitious

    Yes, he may be much younger than you, maybe he has not yet found his calling in life and has not gotten a dream job, where the monthly salary has many zeros at the end; in most cases, almost all young people have some kind of difficulties with money. Yes, you will have to get used to the fact that he will not be able to pamper you with expensive dinners in fashionable metropolitan restaurants and will not pay for business class to the islands. But with what joy and sincerity he will cook dinner himself and arrange a romantic evening for you. The material problem is a problem of time, not age. In the meantime, he is ready for sincere and romantic actions to impress you.

    6. Ability to control it

    Of course, he will not unquestioningly do everything you want, but due to his lack of experience, he makes compromises much easier and allows you to take control of the situation. You have the right to a decisive vote, because you are older and you know better.

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    7. You're hot for him.

    For some reason, most women think that men only dream of young girls with perfect breasts, but in reality they are driven by self-doubt. Not all young men need a “cover girl”, they need one who exudes self-control and sexuality, because she is not obsessed with herself and can appreciate a man. You're smart, independent, you know what you want, and that turns him on.


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    8. You have fun on dates.

    Dating with him is a very long-forgotten feeling that is even better than sex. You can eat popcorn at the movies and laugh until your stomach hurts, kiss in unexpected and secluded corners of the city, you have stories that you are certainly not ready to tell to your married girlfriends. You have a great chance to have an affair with a younger man, which means youth, love of life and romantic adventures.


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    9. He has an infectious love for life.

    He is a priori full of energy and love for life, living every day as if it were his last, he believes that a smile and a positive attitude will help him cope with any problem. Even if your romance is fleeting, you will definitely become infected with this approach to life. He is less cynical, he still has youthful romanticism, which is so lacking in older women.

    In recent decades, no one will be surprised by marriages of very different ages. Just like men who are attracted to women 10, 20, or even 30 years younger, women have not been looking for men of the same age for a long time. Artists are always at the forefront. Tina Turner, Alla Pugacheva, Madonna, Larisa Dolina, Jennifer Lopez, Joan Collins, Lera Kudryavtseva, Irina Bilyk... The list goes on.

    Why go far for examples? I looked around at my immediate surroundings and made some conclusions, which I share with you. It turns out that marriages/relationships of different ages are not so uncommon. And each couple in their own way goes through a stage of rapid development, difficulties and separations. Often, the widely publicized benefits of dating younger men are nothing more than a myth.

    Myth 1

    A younger man is a great incentive to be in good physical shape and do fitness/running/swimming.

    Anya suffered due to constant reproaches from M.H., saying that the old lady (two years older) had a fat bottom, although she weighed 50 kg. At the insistence of my loved one, I signed up for an aerobics group for those over 35, and was actively involved. But there’s no point. Her husband looked through a prism that distorted Anya, like in a hall of distorting mirrors. To Anya’s credit, she gave up aerobics and became interested in yoga, but at the behest of her own soul. Today she simply glows, is not deprived of the attention of twenty-five-year-old guys, but in relationships she does not put age at the forefront.

    Disclosure:
    Sports activities give very good results only if the main incentive is not the desire to look super in someone else’s eyes, but a sincere desire to be super loved for yourself.

    Myth 2

    You need to be aware of all the new products and keep up with the times. It’s a shame to prefer the “nut crackers” of the late 90s to the 6th iPhone. Moreover, it’s not you who are ashamed, but him for you. So you need to conform: sing songs from the repertoire of teenagers, chase gadgets, and so on.

    New items interest people regardless of age due to their practicality. Today, even 70-year-olds are well versed in the intricacies of the World Wide Web. But it's not gadgets that make people truly happy. And if he is ashamed of your old-fashionedness, does not accept you with all the cockroaches, sooner or later he will begin to be ashamed of something else. And by the way, the couple’s musical tastes and aesthetic preferences should be at least similar. It is impossible to enthusiastically rock out to psychedelic music if you enjoy the songs of Mark Bernes. Well, IT'S NOT POSSIBLE. Is it worth it to force yourself?

    Myth 3

    With a younger man you can be yourself. Don’t break your established lifestyle, don’t change your habits, do what you want. He is already happy that his chosen one has excellent, mature taste and does not try to impress with extravagant, to put it mildly, images.

    You can and should always be yourself: next to a young Don Juan, next to a respectable gentleman, and on a solo voyage. And be open to new trends and trends that touch those very mysterious strings of your soul. And if you don’t change anything in your life and image for years, not only a young man, but even your own beloved cockroaches will run away from you, afraid to croak in the resulting swamp.

    Myth 4

    An opportunity to prove yourself wise. Wisdom comes with age, that is, with experience. You are older, which means you are more experienced in many matters. He will definitely notice and appreciate this, and will consult with you about it or not.

    She is 32, he is 21. Lena lost a child in her previous marriage. The doctors did not give her any more chances to give birth. And here he is, young and hot, in need of care, hanging on her every word: “Lenochka, you’re smart.” She treated him like a child, which he essentially was. And if a miracle hadn’t happened - she hadn’t given birth to her own child - she would have been babysitting her husband: forgiving drunkenness (You understand everything), earning money to support the family (I’m having difficulties with work again), organizing her life (Sort out this sewer yourself). Having never received any help or support from her young husband, Lena filed for divorce.

    If your man is childish, needs constant instructions on how to stand, how to sit, what to eat, and the rest of the list, he will still be an overgrown teenager even at forty-five. If this is not compensated by satisfying your exaggerated sense of self-importance, is it worth taking on the mission of mommy?

    Myth 5

    A young man is an opportunity to drive: you entered a club on a Friday evening and burst out laughing on Sunday after midnight. Marathon dancing-hugs-dancing-whisky-sex-sex-sex. Cool. You can still give up on Kazantip (or what is there now instead of it?). The energy is in full swing.

    At this pace you will quickly become exhausted. No? Are you very temperamental? Then you don’t need to look for someone who is young, but someone who is just as crazy as you, and age has nothing to do with it. Being easy-going is a character trait, not an age trait.

    Myth 6

    Having an affair with a younger man raises self-esteem. After all, out of all the wealth of choice, he turned his attention to you, which means you are super.

    Olga, a 40-year-old mother of four children, recently divorced her husband. He went to see a girl the same age as their eldest daughter. Olga tried to prove to her husband that she, too, was not a bad person, and at the same time raise her self-esteem, which had sunk to zero, by starting a whirlwind romance with a 25-year-old guy. But it wasn’t a new man, but what she loved to do that really helped restore her shaky self-confidence. By immersing herself in business, Olga was able to secure financial, and with it, psychological independence from her ex-husband. And she, as in the joke, did not care how a man wears a skullcap.

    He's young - great, but you're good whether he's with you or not.

    Myth 7

    Next to a young man you feel young. The woman blossoms.

    As in the old song: “I will not part with the Komsomol - I will be forever young.” Educators have been talking about this effect for a long time. Communication with children and young people really gives strength and vigor. According to the proverb, whoever you get along with is the one you get. Only this process is mutual, as in a communicating vessel. The one-way flow of energy is creepy, a Hollywood horror movie. You don’t set yourself the goal of vampirizing your loved one, do you?

    Tanya, like her favorite heroine Scarlett O'Hara, was married to a respectable man, 22 years older, and then in a relationship with someone the same age. And just recently I threw myself into a new relationship with a man 10 years younger. As it turned out, his main surprise was her age. He assumed that the difference between them was two years, or even less.

    Girls, do not have any illusions: it is not raining because you are dreaming about a dead person. There is a young man next to you because you are young. And a woman blossoms not next to a young man, but next to her beloved, and, of course, the loving one. And how old he is is another matter.

    Myth 8

    Due to his youth, he has little experience in relationships, therefore, he has no children and a tooth-crushing ex.

    Yes, if he graduated from school yesterday. In all other cases, if not children, then he has already grown up with former lovers. But should we be afraid of this? Or do you prefer the Middle Ages with a modern twist - virgins in the studio?

    Myth 9

    Since a man is young, he is like clay: you can sculpt from him exactly the kind of person you dream of.

    Well, it's worth a try if the genius sculptor in you dies. Take a ready-made adult (is he already 18?) man, and cut off everything unnecessary. And at the same time, you can completely cut off any desire to live with a woman who, although beautiful, systematically removes shavings. You can forget about warmth and comfort in such relationships.

    Myth 10

    An incredibly hackneyed topic is sex. You are extremely liberated and ready to experiment; your needs for sex have increased with age, and only a young man with raging testosterone can satisfy them. And if he doesn’t know how to do something, it’s not a problem, he’s easy to train.

    Testosterone, of course, has not been canceled. But should peers or older men be relegated to the bench? At the beginning of any relationship, when emotions run high, violent sex is possible. Whether he is 20 or 50, it doesn’t matter. How long this period will last is another question.

    One homespun truth

    What happens: a younger man is not the ultimate dream of a woman in her prime? Unfortunately, or fortunately, no, this is not the limit. But it’s no longer taboo.

    There are myths, pros and cons in any relationship, just as there are different reasons why people are together. And if “love unexpectedly came to you” and found you in the arms of a man who makes your heart beat faster and your eyes shine with happiness, God will help you. Love each other no matter what and be happy. And don’t let your happiness be hindered by the insidious (or are they insidious?) numbers in your passport.

    No matter how rosy the relationship between a mature woman and a younger man may seem to us, it would still be foolish not to recognize the fact that such a relationship still remains a difficult and dangerous adventure, and especially for the lady. Why?

    Relationship between an adult woman and a young man

    This question was answered accurately by Felicia Brings and Susan Winter in their book Older Woman, Younger Man: New Possibilities in Relationships and Love: “Women who date younger men are an example of a new emerging archetype. We have no role models and no one has shown us how to navigate this uncharted road.”

    Therefore, we will dwell on some moments that can play an unpleasant joke on a woman and which, if possible, should still be avoided.

    What to fear in a relationship when the man is younger than the woman

    Firstly, according to psychologists, men who painfully experienced the so-called Oedipus complex in childhood are often attracted to women much older than themselves.

    Secondly, unions with older women very often attract infantile men who cannot cope with the burden of life’s problems and troubles, and therefore are not averse to shifting them onto someone else’s shoulders.

    Agree, the image is not very worthy. A sort of man in the flesh and a child in the soul. Of course, some women are able to stand up for themselves; they independently resolve complex issues and cope with emerging problems without much difficulty.

    In other words, he will stop a galloping horse and enter a burning hut. But, whatever one may say, each of us wants to see in a man, if not a support, then at least an outlet, so that, being alone with him, we can relax and allow ourselves to feel weak.

    How do relationships develop when a man is younger than a woman?

    So, if we answered positively to the first question about whether a long-term relationship between a mature woman and a younger man is possible, then the answer to the question about their harmony is unlikely to be so unambiguous.

    But here again it doesn’t hurt to remember the common truth, which says: “How many people, so many opinions.” Therefore, first, let’s get acquainted with remarks from the Internet concerning our topic and try to comment on them. The quotes below are about couples in which the difference between a man and a woman is from 9 to 15 years.

    “As I understand it, the question assumes that the woman is 10 years older. Let me suggest that such relationships are very harmonious sexually...

    From the point of view of sex, the relationship between an 18-25 year old guy and a 28-35 year old woman, respectively, is very, very harmonious and pleasant for all participants: the woman has a hot and strong partner, the man has a sexy and experienced one.”

    “The experience of communicating with a younger man (9 years difference) was positive, but short-lived, because everything was fine with sex, but not with communication... It was very difficult to talk about all topics except sex. There was too much cynicism in him.”

    “I have experience communicating with a guy 12 years younger than me. Sex is wonderful, communication is the problem here, which led to the breakup. He liked the state of his patron only for the time being. I’ll note that I didn’t feel like a mommy in relation to him at all. Rather, he taught me a lot in this life, he cared more about me. I am grateful to fate for such a gift, even if it is not so long-lasting.”

    “I know what a relationship is like when the man is younger than the woman. I loved a man who was 12 years younger than me. It must be said that this difference did not affect in any way... for the time being... The result is broken hearts and complete disappointment in life for both...

    Although if this is true love, then neither the age difference nor the presence of children is a hindrance. Of course, if a woman is older, then she should be at her best and look gorgeous. Because, whatever one may say, men love with their eyes...”

    “The 10-year difference and its perception depend on age. Let's say, a relationship when one partner is 14 years old and the other is 24 is somewhat ambiguous (especially if the girl is 24). And if it’s 25 and 35 years old, then no problem.”

    “I believe that after 30-35 the problem of age difference completely goes away. And if both partners are over 35, then the problem is negligible.”

    “I have had relationships with partners older than me. I want to say that for a man (especially under 25-28) this is quite problematic. Although a lot depends on those people who build relationships. If a woman is willing to teach, remain patient and understanding, and be superior (but never show it!), then a union where the man is younger than the woman can be successful.”

    “A 15-year difference is a lot, but without knowing specific people, it’s hard to say. Most often, such marriages turn out stronger than usual, because in 90% of cases they are made for love, especially if the wife is older than the husband.

    But there are still exceptions (divorces). As a rule, the husband, if he is younger, has a difficult time at first. This refers to an inferiority complex. Especially when the wife is successful in life both financially and morally, and he is still young, inexperienced and all that.

    A woman needs patience, patience and more patience, and then everything will work out. If a guy is purposeful, loves his woman and is not afraid of responsibility, then the complex will quickly disappear into oblivion.”

    Is the man younger than the woman? Let's speculate. With sexual relationships, everything is more or less clear. As we found out earlier, from a physiological point of view there should not be any special problems in this area. What does “communication problems” mean?

    Yes, we can agree that a young man and an older woman have different interests, hobbies, areas of communication, and life positions. But aren’t there such differences between peers? It still happens.

    Or maybe everything is much simpler: they didn’t get along in character or simply two halves of a single whole met? And this is also not excluded, so we will not make unambiguous and hasty conclusions, because there can be many options and situations are not always typical.

    We have to answer the questions whether a long-term relationship between a woman and a younger man is possible, how harmonious it will be, what problems may arise in this case and how to cope with them. I will answer the first question with an example. The story described in it was published in one of the popular periodicals.

    Mature woman with young man

    Agree, not every healthy and beautiful woman manages to find her happiness. But Tatyana Dmitrichenko-Molchanova from the city of Krasny Sulin managed to achieve success not only in work, but also in her personal life, despite the fact that she is the size of a 10-year-old girl and, on top of that, has group II disability.

    One summer day, a friend invited Tatyana to a cafe to drink beer. Two lonely women were sitting and talking about life, and a very sad young guy sat at the next table.

    Imagine my surprise when the next day Sergei came to my tent, leaned over the tray, kissed me on the cheek and left. In the evening he appeared again and said: “Marry me.”

    Soon they had a stormy wedding with a wedding in the temple. Even Tatyana’s relatives, who had abandoned her long ago and did not take any part in her fate, were present at the celebration.

    Oddly enough, Sergei’s parents approved of their son’s choice long before the wedding. And Tatyana’s mother, unexpectedly for everyone, gave her a scandal. “Do you really believe in your happy future? - she shouted. - Look at you and him. He is young, handsome, without a single flaw - and you!”

    The neighbors also gossiped and were sure that Sergei got married because of the apartment. According to Tatyana, all this is nonsense, because her young husband is still registered with his mother, and they have been living together for several years. Now Tatyana is only concerned about the fact that Sergei really wants to have his own children, but she is still approaching 50, and therefore it is too late to give birth.

    For a very long time, Tatiana’s son Vitaly did not know how to address his stepfather. Finally I decided that I would just call him by his first name. The husband and son became real friends.

    Both help Tatyana and try to do all her homework for her. Tatyana is happy, and what more could a woman wish for: “I come home, and everything is clean, dinner is on the table, and my husband is wonderful. Well, what woman wouldn’t be happy in my place?”

    As they say, comments are unnecessary here. I just want to exclaim: “There are so many miracles in the world!” But the story described is not a miracle, and its heroes are not fictional, but real.

    One can only envy the courage and thirst for life of this little woman, who managed to overcome all difficulties and adversity and achieve happiness. No wonder people say: “Water does not flow under a lying stone.”

    So go ahead, don’t be afraid to experiment and at least try to change your life for the better and arrange it in such a way that it is convenient and good for you and your young man first of all.

    When falling in love, we usually don’t look at a man’s passport. And when we find out that he turns out to be younger, for some reason we get scared. Perhaps there is nothing surprising here. There are widespread stereotypes in society according to which you need to get married before 25, have children before 30, and the husband should be older than his wife.

    This belief appeared a long time ago - then, indeed, the husband had to be older and more experienced in order to provide his young wife with a comfortable existence and a reliable future.

    Today is not the case. Firstly, age in itself does not indicate either experience or other indicators of reliability. Secondly, it is not at all necessary that your partner, lover and friend will become your husband. Maybe your wonderful relationship will simply outlive its usefulness, or you won’t want to stamp it in your passport - who knows?

    So don’t have a complex, even if your friends become thoughtfully quiet when they learn about your age difference. By the way, if a man is your age, you can rightfully consider him younger - these are the psychophysiological characteristics of this gender. And don’t pay attention to the harsh public opinion! It, this opinion, will always find a reason for condemnation - not younger, but shorter, or earns less, or from a family at a different social level... Is it worth listening to everyone if you have Love?

    Better think about the situation and find strengths in it. If you approach the issue wisely, you can even benefit from a relationship with a younger man. In the end, personal data is not at all the point on which you should focus. It’s much more important that you understand each other perfectly, that when he looks at you, violets bloom in your soul, and that when you meet your friends, they say with surprise: “Listen, you look great!”

    Young does not mean inexperienced

    My first husband was 8 years older. Despite this, I had to play the role of a kind of nanny - at the age of 20 I tried to independently solve all the important issues, provide for my family, chop wood and light the stove, and later - even stand up for my daughter in the yard. Our dad was deeply alien to the sense of responsibility, and I soon got tired of playing the role of head of the family.

    My second husband is 2.5 years younger than me, and for 10 years now I can completely rely on him in any matter. He gives the impression of being wise with experience, and in difficult life situations he always finds the right solution.

    Why am I saying this? Moreover, biological age often does not coincide with true age. One individual remains a child in need of care until the age of 60, while another knows how to be a Man from a young age, that is, to be responsible for his actions and think about the future.

    Why do we choose younger men?

    A chance to relax and have fun

    With an older partner, you are likely to often find yourself in the company of his friends who are also older than you. After some time, you begin to notice that you no longer feel like dancing, swinging on a swing, or running barefoot in the sand. You become more sedate and serious, but where is your youth? It's so easy to get lost!

    With a young guy, you will again feel the taste of life - he will be happy to have fun with you, introduce you to young friends, and you will indulge in carefree entertainment together. This is very valuable because it will allow even a forty-year-old woman to feel like a young girl!

    Talk more often

    Still, don’t rely on carelessness and constant fun. Life is a pretty serious thing, and sometimes you just need to stop, look into each other's eyes and talk about what worries you both. At the same time, there is no need to talk down to your young partner! He is no worse than you able to understand and experience the depth and strength of experiences, concern himself with problems and find ways to solve them. Let him be not only a fun partner, but also a true friend.

    Improve yourself!

    You can't do without this! If you are 30 and he is 20, you will have to take care of yourself with renewed energy. A fit, well-groomed, athletic girlfriend, who is still young but already experienced, is an invaluable acquisition for a young man, which he will certainly value highly. Therefore, take extra care of yourself, do not neglect your appearance, do not allow yourself to appear in front of your loved one in an old robe, disheveled and unkempt. Men always pay attention to women who know how to keep fit and take care of themselves.

    This doesn't just apply to appearance. Be interested in everything new, develop yourself, don’t stand still in order to match your friend. This will benefit both of you. And if you later break up, you will have a good consolation left - the acquired knowledge and skills will not escape you!

    Main advantages:

    Often a younger man is amenable to training, and you will be able to mold him into what you need.

    If you like to be a leader, this is easier to do with someone who is younger;

    You will become younger with such a loved one, both externally and internally!

    Most often, a young guy has neither children from a previous marriage nor an ex-wife.

    However, there are also disadvantages that you also need to remember:

    If your young partner is childish, you will have to spend a lot of mental strength, patience, and also money on him;

    - Such relationships rarely end in marriage;

    It may be difficult for you to live up to him - after all, you will have to devote a lot of time to your appearance so that he can be proud of you;

    He will probably have to learn a lot;

    Almost all young guys eventually start looking at younger girls, so you will have to constantly be on your guard;

    Finally, that very public opinion - even if you consider it meaningless, it can spoil a lot of blood.

    If you are completely overwhelmed by love, if you cannot live even a minute without him, if nothing in the world exists except his strong hands, gentle voice and willingness to accept you as you are, forget all cautions and enjoy life! Then you’ll figure out what to do with it next...

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